How to overcome the fear of communicating with people: advice to a sociophobe and a timid person. Phobias associated with people - fear of strangers, drunk, old people, fear of communicating with people, fear of large crowds of people, touching people, losing a person: symptoms, treatment

The number of people on the planet is growing exponentially. They have to face each other every day, contact, build relationships, find their place in society. But due to social phobia, or fear of communication, contacts become very problematic. This behavior needs to be corrected as the person experiences discomfort and withdraws into himself.

The phobia of fear of communicating with people has pronounced symptoms, which, if not conspicuous, can be seen with careful observation. The following behavioral responses are characteristic:

1. Alienation. A person feels unnecessary and superfluous, which gives rise to a feeling of worthlessness. He experiences not only loneliness, but also the uselessness of his existence, "loses his face" as a person. Fear of people gives rise to an insurmountable barrier, over which it becomes especially difficult to step over with time.

Note: A person does not just close in on himself, he rejects himself, gradually losing his "I". He cannot reveal his abilities and do what he loves, which is of some importance to him or even is the meaning of life.

1. Shyness. It manifests itself in constant silence, fear of expressing one's opinion, the desire to go unnoticed. This feature deprives the possibility of new contacts, acquaintances, full-fledged communication. If shyness develops from childhood, then parents should make every effort to overcome it, because low self-esteem will be added to it over time.
2. Incoherent speech. Fear of communicating with people leads to the fact that a person cannot correctly express his thoughts. He gets confused in words and, unable to pronounce the phrase correctly, gradually falls silent. This condition is associated with excitement or emotional stress, when it is difficult to find a common language or topic for conversation with the interlocutor. The problem is aggravated, and against this background stuttering is formed.
3. Inappropriate behaviour. A person obsessed with fear or a phobia of communicating with people sees the ongoing events in a slightly different light. He believes that a lot is connected with his person, because he is vulnerable and touchy. Against the background of emotional instability, what is happening is painted in dark colors, and “from scratch” a negative perception of reality arises.

For your information: The phobia of communication with people leads to the fact that a person diligently avoids new contacts, peer companies, which prevents them from “finding their place” in society. It constantly seems to him that laughter, talking or whispering behind his back is connected with his personality, that they only laugh at him.

Why is fear born or where does the problem “legs grow” from?

Doesn't appear out of nowhere. It is formed from childhood or occurs during life when a person is not understood, criticized, offended, humiliated. There are strong personalities who are able to resist negativity, but the weak ones cannot withstand the pressure of society and withdraw into themselves.

The phrase "I'm afraid to communicate with people" has a real basis. A traumatic event or a difficult environment forces you to build your world, closing yourself off from reality and people who cause a lot of trouble. The following points can provoke fear of communication:

• criticism that does not stop for a long time, and gradually the object of this very criticism feels stupid, unnecessary and stupid;
• the mocking attitude of peers that affect the psyche is especially painful, because mockery is aimed at certain personality traits;
• negative experience “from childhood”, if past grievances do not let go and leave a mark on the rest of your life, causing fear of communicating with people;
• difficulties with a properly constructed conversation, when it begins to develop in the wrong direction and leads to conflict situations;
• unsuccessful public speech, which subsequently causes fear of a large number of people, in front of an audience; a person loses the “thread of the speech” and begins to get confused in his thoughts;
• negative memories from communication with the opposite sex, in which a certain stereotype is formed, which women (men) should not be approached at all, and even more so to enter into a conversation;
• telephone conversations leading to negativity and causing fear of the phone in general, unwillingness to answer calls or doubts that the person on the “other side” will be positive.

For your information: The opinion of others is important for any person, but he must also listen to himself, developing resilience with each subsequent step. A confident person adequately perceives criticism and brings his actions to the desired result.

The fear of communication can be associated with the following statements of sociophobes: I am afraid of people and communication, because people are evil; it's scary to say something stupid, because then they will laugh at me; it's dangerous to be in smart company where I can't put two words together. The list of statements can be continued, but the result comes down to one thing: a person is waiting for loneliness, because he surrounds himself more and more with a “shell”.

Fear of powerful people

How not to be afraid of communicating with people who are higher on the social ladder? Many people have a fear of the authorities, a teacher, an official. But it should be remembered that communication is of a business nature and criticism or praise is pronounced in your address in this way.

A competent leader never crosses the line, does not build familiar relations with subordinates, does not create too close contact. He must keep his distance, evaluating exclusively the business qualities of his subordinates. Therefore, his pleasure or displeasure must be assessed only from this position.

A sociophobe perceives criticism painfully, and a trip to the “carpet” to the boss is like torture. But you need to remember that if there are errors in the work, then this is normal. Only those who do nothing are not mistaken, therefore, criticism should be treated constructively, having analyzed the situation and tuned in on the way to solve it. A leader is also a person who has emotions, ambitions, demands and a desire to build relationships with each employee.

Note: A clean and unsullied reputation, a positive assessment is important to everyone. We bathe in attention and really appreciate when we are respected and loved. This is what brings satisfaction not only to the sociophobe, but also to any person, causing dependence on approval.

How to overcome the fear of communication?

Theoretically, every sociophobe knows. And at the first stage, a person should try to solve the problem on their own. Everyday work on yourself is important, which will certainly prove useful. A person knows his inner world better than anyone else. Psychologists give advice on how to overcome the fear of communication:

• establish contact in social networks;
• establish eye contact with people "eye to eye" even with fleeting communication;
• communicate with strangers (literally 1-2 phrases) when shopping, on the street, in any institution;
• establish telephone communications in order to subsequently talk directly;
• contact people with small requests.

All these attempts will be the first step towards overcoming the interpersonal barrier. On the next step, the actions will be more serious. To solve the problem of how to overcome the fear of people, you can use more decisive action.

Public performance

This is a very difficult test for a social phobe, but it must be passed. To reach a large audience and make a speech is a feat, after which it will be much easier for a person to make contact, easier to communicate and be among people. After the first successful performance, the second will follow and things will “get better”.

Accepting yourself as a person

If a person constantly thinks about how to stop being afraid of communicating with people, then he is fettered by strong fear. Constantly tormented by thoughts: what people will think about him, how others perceive him. No need to worry about this, because any person (it has been proven) thinks about the interlocutor for no more than a minute, but this does not mean that all his thoughts are negative. It is important to do what you love and make your wildest dreams and fantasies come true. You will notice that people will see you as a meaningful and interesting person who is fun to talk to and spend time with.

Manifestation of individuality

No one knows better than you your positive and negative aspects of character, hidden talents and opportunities. You can not always take a conciliatory position and adapt to other people. This is how you lose your uniqueness and individuality. Each person is special and not like the others, that is why he is interesting to others. When the realization of one's uniqueness comes, a person gains support and finds his place in society.

The causes of social phobia and the possibility of overcoming it are explained in the video

The content of the article:

Fear of communication is a phobia that is characteristic of insecure interlocutors. There can be many reasons for its occurrence, which greatly complicates a person’s life. Successful people don't experience this kind of fear, but it's still a fairly common problem. It is necessary to understand the origins of this pathology and how to deal with it.

Causes of fear of communication

Problems, discomfort when communicating with strangers - a problem that should not be dismissed. After a detailed study of it, psychologists came to the conclusion that these provocative factors can serve as the causes of fear of communication:

• Criticism from the inner circle. If at the same time people are significant for a person, then the mechanism of such a phenomenon is triggered in him. With a systematic negative analysis by relatives or friends, social phobia may occur, which then will be problematic to get rid of without the help of specialists.
• . Very often, the fear of communicating with others begins in childhood, when the opinion of his classmates is very important to the child. If relations with them are accompanied by insults and offensive nicknames, then there is a high probability that the unformed personality will begin to fear communication in the future.
• Inability to communicate with the opposite sex. The fear of communicating with men is very often also laid down in childhood, if the girl had an imperious and despotic father. A stern mother can significantly complicate the future personal life of her son, showing a bad example to the child with her behavior model.
• Failed performance in front of an audience. Many people are terrified of communicating with other subjects after such a fiasco. They begin to scroll in advance in their heads the negative consequences of the voiced process, which they themselves came up with.
• Excessive shyness. People cannot be the same in character even if twins appear in the family. All kinds of complexes and embarrassment on every occasion become a serious prerequisite for the development of social phobia in a person.
• Inability to articulate thoughts. Some victims of circumstance are simply unable to say everything they think. Such a lack is fertile ground for the emergence of fear of communication with others.

Note! The listed reasons are very often rooted in childhood, when it is still possible to get rid of the fear of communication. If the problem has become an already formed fact, then it will be much more problematic to solve it.

Varieties of fear of communication

1. Fear of talking to strangers. Some self-contained subjects are afraid to communicate with those people whom they see for the first time in their lives. Horror fetters such unfortunates when they have a dialogue with an unfamiliar person. They are not able to connect even two words, because they fall into a real stupor.
2. Fear of communicating with peers. A similar phobia affects shy children who are unable to stand up for themselves. They usually do not have their own opinion, or they are afraid to express it. Trying to always stay in the shadows, they often become outcasts in the team.
3. Fear of contact with the opposite sex. As already mentioned, very often the problem must be sought in childhood. The fear of communicating with girls or guys triggers the mechanism of an unhappy personal life. Few people will be interested in communication with a self-contained personality with a lot of complexes.
4. Fear of speaking in front of an audience. You can often meet such individuals who communicate calmly with everyone, but suffer from this phobia. You can’t drag them on the lasso onto the stage or behind the podium for oratory. Hundreds of excuses will be invented, because public speaking for such individuals is worse than death.
5. . Such a problem is not so rare. Many people believe that literally all women like to chat for hours in voiced mode with their friends. Of course, there are enough talkers among the fair sex, but in some cases people are not able to conduct telephone conversations without seeing their interlocutor.
6. Fear of communicating with superiors. Loyal leadership is a gift of fate, which is not given to every person. If the poor fellow has to constantly contact the tyrant boss, then a voiced kind of social phobia begins to form. Finding a good job is extremely difficult, so sometimes you have to adapt to this problem.

Signs of a fear of communication in a person

• Increased heart rate during conversation. Social phobes, even in the complete absence of health problems, begin to experience significant discomfort of the sounded plan. Their heart is ready to jump out of their chest if they understand that they cannot turn away from communication with other people or an audience.
• Tense muscles and nervous trembling when talking. Such obvious signs of anxiety with the head betray a person who is afraid to communicate with anyone. All his speech is feverish and testifies only to a great desire to end the dialogue.
• Redness of the face during communication. Embarrassment sometimes only paints a person, but everything is good in moderation. If, during communication, the subject becomes burgundy to the color of beets, then this is not a good indicator of his physical and moral condition. Perhaps he suffers from high blood pressure, but in most cases this is typical for social phobes.
• Sweating during dialogue. If it's hot outside, then wet armpits are not at all a reason to think that you have a person who is afraid of communication. However, under favorable weather conditions, a sweating interlocutor may simply be afraid of contact with someone.
• Stuttering during a conversation. If a person does not have problems with diction, then periodically confused speech can signal panic during an ongoing dialogue. At the same time, people with phobias have a shifty look or unwillingness to meet the eyes of other people at all.
• Pain in the abdomen with fear of communication. If the fear of contact develops into real horror, then similar physiological problems often begin. The interlocutor can literally twist in half from stress if dialogue is necessary.
• Dry mouth when interacting with people. In the throat it becomes, as if in a desert, when a person is worried during communication. So many people in public speaking ask permission to take a sip of water to relax and catch their breath.

Risk group of people with fear of communication

Most often, such a contingent of people faces a similar problem:

1. . They can talk in most cases with the same young mothers, which makes their interests narrower. If they happen to cross paths with people leading an active lifestyle, then this often puts the maternity clerk into a stupor.
2. Housewives. Such women sometimes limit their life to four walls. If their friends, after going to work and enrolling a child in kindergarten, can quickly adapt to society, then in this case everything is much more deplorable. Housewives simply lose their ability to communicate with strangers, which becomes a serious problem for them.
3. People with increased self-esteem of the created image. Idealization of oneself can lead to elementary isolation of a person. He is afraid of criticism from people and debunking the myth about himself. It is easier for him to be in constant solitude than to try to establish communication with the environment.
4. People who are insecure. This may be a consequence of both the acquired complexes and the warehouse of character. With such a problem, there is a possibility of the appearance of another recluse who is afraid of communication.
5. Intimidated personality. The victim of the circumstances is afraid of everything and everyone, therefore, she is not ready to meet with society. She sees a catch and a threat in any word of the interlocutor, which is noticeable even to the naked eye.

Methods of dealing with the fear of communication

Any problem needs to be dealt with when there is still an opportunity to fix it. Age tactics in this case is extremely important, because it provides a different approach to eliminating the phobia.

Ways to eliminate the fear of communication in children

• fairy tale therapy. With frightening and disturbing situations, you can deal with the voiced method. It is necessary to build a narrative with a mandatory happy ending in such a way that the child has lost all fears regarding communication with other people. However, one should be very careful in compiling the story, because the excessive gullibility of children towards strangers can turn into a real tragedy.
• Fixation on the positive. In a friendly family with a calm domestic environment, the younger generation rarely develops sociopathy. Adults, by personal example, should show the correct model of behavior so that in the future they do not suffer from the question of how to overcome the fear of communication in a child.
• Visiting sections or a circle of acting skills. Children who actively participate in extracurricular activities are much more sociable than their peers. They overcome stage fright, train their character and, as a result, fight their phobias on their own. Acting classes are especially useful. They develop communication skills, help learn to control their emotions, express them correctly. And such children are rarely bored, so phobias very quickly fade into the background.
• Help from a psychologist. The specialist knows better the child's psyche, which has not yet been fully formed. In a particularly difficult situation, he may even recommend taking certain medications. It is strictly forbidden to prescribe medicines to your child on your own or on the advice of overly wise acquaintances.

Ways to eliminate the fear of communication in adults

1. Standing up for your own opinion. It is easier for yourself to decide this than to translate the idea into reality. However, we have one life, so we need to be able to stand up for ourselves. At first, it will be very frightening, but then those around them will see the changes that have taken place with the person and stop putting pressure on him with their authority.
2. Ability to refuse a manipulator. Some people try to avoid socializing because they are afraid of being used. Knowing their gentle nature and pliability on all issues, they withdraw into themselves. You should develop a clear system of refusal for yourself, and over time it will become a habit.
3. Making eye contact. This will not work right away, but there is nowhere to rush when solving the voiced problem. To begin with, you can choose for yourself the forum you like, where questions of interest to the victim of the phobia are discussed. Then you should try to communicate with as many people as possible in real life.
4. Job search in a large team. This is a great way to train yourself to be around people. It is worth forbidding yourself to think that the world is full of insidious and bloodthirsty personalities. There are many more good people, so you need to set yourself up for the positive.
5. Hypnosis. In especially neglected cases, experts recommend resorting to this method. Having immersed the patient in such a state, the psychotherapist finds the true causes of the phobia. Often the victim himself cannot determine the root of the problem, but under hypnosis reveals it.

Are you bad at communicating with others? What is the reason for your behavior? Are you aware that you have trouble making contacts? Fear of communication with people is It is impossible to call it a disease in full. It is easy to get rid of a phobia with a little effort and a lot of desire to become better.

Causes

Every effect has its cause, and this must be understood. If you are faced with a psychological problem, then you need to think about what the true problem of your condition is. The fear of communicating with people in the soul of a person can arise for various reasons. Here are the most common ones:

• Dislike of criticism. A person does not want to communicate with others, because he believes that they criticize his activities too much. And it doesn't matter if people's opinions are objective or not. The person cannot admit that he is wrong, and it is much easier for him to hide in solitude than to flaunt the result of his activity.
• Embarrassment. Modesty is another reason for the fear of communication. A person cannot talk to strangers, because inside he is fettered by fear. An explosive mixture of feelings out of fear, fear of doing something wrong, fear of saying something wrong and fear of being ridiculed does not give the person the opportunity to open his mouth.
• Mental stress. A person in whose life there is no certainty will be in an excited state. It is quite natural that such a person will not want to communicate with anyone.
• Fear of being ridiculed. A person with low self-esteem is afraid to talk to others for the reason that he does not want to be laughed at. Such a person with low self-esteem is more comfortable living in his cocoon and not talking to anyone.

Problems from childhood

Almost all psychological problems of a person are laid in him at a young age. A person may not even realize that her parents cripple her soul. Often this happens unintentionally. Adults act the way they think is right. They may not think that with their actions and words they are laying a program with which the person will have to exist all his life. For example, the harmless phrase "don't talk to strangers", which is said 10 times a day, is deposited in the mind of a child. It is not surprising that, growing up, it is difficult for a person to get to know people. After all, every time a person has to overcome parental prohibitions. How else do adults cripple the lives of children? They scold the kids for being too open, naive and friendly. Children begin to withdraw into themselves, and parents are quite happy with this. The child does not dangle under his feet, he can find something to do and enjoy spending time alone. This alignment of things begins to frighten adults only when the child becomes a teenager. But at this age, the situation is already difficult to correct.

Manifestation

How does a person suffering from a phobia of fear of communicating with people look and behave? The manifestations of this mental illness are:

• Silence. A person who is afraid of others will remain silent. It will be difficult to talk to him. If he agrees to answer questions, the answers will be monosyllabic. The person will not strive to build trusting relationships and silence will not embarrass the person in the slightest.
• Passivity. In the company of cheerful and active people, a person who suffers from social phobia will be visible. Such a person will not show any activity. He will try to hide behind the backs of bright and open people.
• Speech defects. A person who is afraid to talk to others may stutter, stutter, swallow endings, or skip letters in words during a conversation. Such speech defects will greatly cut the hearing.
• Fussiness. An insecure person who feels out of place will constantly twist something in his hands, look around, fidget in place, or shift his foot from foot to foot. All signs of excitement will be perfectly expressed in his gestures.

Types of fear

The fear of communicating with strangers cannot be called normal. If a person does not feel self-confidence, then he may suffer from various types of fear. What are they like?

• Anxiety. This is a mild form of fear that is felt subconsciously rather than consciously. The person understands that she is in an unpleasant situation for herself, but so far no danger has arisen and there is time to figure out how to get out of the circumstances.
• Fright. The persona realized that she got into an unpleasant story, and now all her efforts are aimed at somehow getting out of the situation.
• Panic. A person loses his mind and commits rash acts. Such a reaction can be a response to someone's action or to someone's words.
• Phobia. The stage of fear that lives on the subconscious. Phobias can haunt a person all his life if he does not take care to solve his psychological problems.

Can fear be overcome?

What is the fear of talking to people called? The phobia is called social phobia. Is it possible to fight it? Like any acquired mental disorder, it can be cured if the problem is detected early. A person who has realized that he is afraid to communicate with people should go to a psychotherapist. The specialist will help to identify the cause of fear and eliminate unpleasant consequences. If there is no time or desire to communicate with a specialist, you can help yourself on your own. But in this case, you need to understand that a person will have to make more efforts to achieve a satisfactory result. And the older the person, the more effort he will have to make. It is not easy to change yourself, because breaking and reshaping your consciousness is hellish work.

Boost your self-esteem

Do not know how to get rid of the fear of communicating with people? Who is afraid to communicate with others? People who are insecure. Are you one of them? Then it's time to work on yourself. Think about what your problem is and why you lack self-confidence. Does someone around you belittle your dignity? Then it's time to say goodbye to this ill-wisher. Did your parents tell you as a child that you can't achieve anything in life? Write down all your successes in a notebook and think: if you were able to achieve everything that you wrote about, why can't you fulfill the rest of your desires? There is nothing difficult or impossible in life. You just need to choose the right vector of development. Raise your self-esteem. It will help you to understand that you are an interesting, intelligent and positive person. When you can realize these truths, you will be able to understand that the people around you will be happy if you become their friend or acquaintance. People with high self-esteem have nothing to fear from someone else's opinion, so they easily make new acquaintances.

Gain experience

Looking for an answer to the question of what is the name of the fear of communicating with people? Psychotherapists called it social phobia. People who cannot and do not want to make new acquaintances suffer through life because they cannot communicate with others. How can such a problem be solved? The experience of communication will help such individuals get rid of the problem and phobia. The first thing to do is to communicate more with your acquaintances and friends. As you develop your communication skills, it will become easier for you to communicate with strangers. When you can maintain a dialogue with your loved ones for a long time, start reaching a new level. Have short conversations on public transport or in the store.

How to overcome the fear of communicating with people? The more you communicate, the better. Remember that the experience of passive communication is just as beneficial as the experience of active conversation. If you are still shy or afraid to talk, then listen to those who are good at it. Learn from these people, and then soon you will be able to get rid of the phobia.

Take the training

Do you not understand how the masters of the word communicate well and fluently with others? To overcome a phobia (fear) of communicating with people, it is not necessary to go to a psychotherapist. You can attend specialized courses that will help you become more liberated. Experts will tell you how to behave, how to present yourself and what and with whom you should talk. In practical classes, you will be given the opportunity to master theoretical knowledge. Don't be afraid to change yourself. The worst thing is to come to the first lesson. Already after the first visit, you will notice the result, and therefore continue your training with pleasure.

Improve Yourself

Fear of communicating with people occurs in those people who have nothing to talk about. If you consider yourself a boring person, then why should others think differently about you? You need to practice your self-improvement. Smart people are drawn to, they are respected and supported. It is pleasant to talk with an interesting person, he can tell something unusual or non-trivial. You need to become that person. It is clear that it is impossible to know everything about everything. Nevertheless, try to constantly expand your horizons. Don't neglect the latest news. You can recognize them both from TV and from social networks. Do not limit yourself, be a versatile person,

Get out of your comfort zone

How to get rid of the fear of communicating with people? To get a result, you need to start doing something that you have not done before. Are you sitting at home and want to magically change your life? You have to put in the effort to get better. Go where you don't go more often. For example, if you are interested in art, then visit exhibitions and meet new people there. Do you love construction? Sign up for a club of interest and go there. Make it a rule to do something every week that will help you get out of your comfort zone and get closer to your dreams.

Don't wind yourself up

Fear of communication with people occurs in those who think too much about upcoming events. Sometimes people wind themselves up so much that they are pierced by fear, and at the right moment they cannot open their mouths. There is no need to worry in anticipation of a crowded event. Just trust that everything will be fine. There is no need to wind yourself up and imagine the most tragic consequences of the event. It is better not to allow negative thoughts, then you will go to a meeting with a positive attitude. And in a good mood, you can overcome shyness. It's great if you can still find the motivation to cheer yourself up even more.

Today, a psychological problem, namely, the fear of communicating with people and self-doubt is quite common among people of different ages and genders. Many of them are wondering how you can increase your self-esteem, become bolder, start believing in yourself and your abilities? Psychologists note that the fear of society for many arises due to congestion and high demands on oneself due to competition.

In addition, many of these problems arise even during childhood, when the child's psyche is so shaky and unstable that, due to the slightest setbacks, one can withdraw into oneself. Therefore, experts note that every child needs to be taught to overcome their complexes. And in adulthood, such a problem as the fear of communicating with people is completely solvable if you choose the right methods.

Psychologists, first of all, note that the fear of communication can be quite normal in different circumstances and areas of life. But if it is a phobia, it is an obsession, and such a problem already needs treatment by a certain specialist. Before trying to overcome fear, you need to understand the essence of the problem, its causes and characteristic manifestations, as well as sources and concomitant factors.

Fear of communicating with people from a scientific point of view is called homolophobia, when a person is afraid not only of communicating with an enemy or an unpleasant opponent, but also of all people in general. Often, fear absorbs a person so much that the mere thought of approaching another person leads him into panic fear.

Often, such people spend most of their time alone in their apartment or house, rarely going outside. Women or men with a similar phobia are not able to join the team, it is even a burden for them to go out into society to buy food and the necessary things. Many of them still go to work or somewhere else, but at such a distance from other people as not to allow anyone to encroach on their personal space.

Expert opinion

Viktor Brenz

Psychologist and self-development expert

Homilophobia is a phobia of communication with people, which in most cases is formed from childhood on the background of psychological trauma, fear, severe resentment or even violence. Do not confuse this term with anthropophobia, that is, the fear of people in general.

Reasons for development

To decide how to overcome the fear of communicating with people, you first need to understand the reasons for the development of such a phobia. Homilophobia is accompanied by a person's reluctance to communicate with strangers of different sex and age, even with children. The main reason is the fear of incorrect formulation of thoughts, and against this background, the fear of being ridiculed by an opponent.

Psychologists name some of the most common causes of homolophobia:

• unreasonable criticism of a still child from friends, parents, other relatives or classmates;
• a tendency to start off badly and make fun of such embarrassing situations;
• unsuccessful public performance;
• excessive sensitivity to public opinion;
• speech disorders, such as stuttering or burr;
• receiving impartial responses and opinions from the surrounding people;
• childhood psychological trauma;
• child abuse.

All the negative emotions experienced can hurt the child's psyche so much that the child simply closes in on himself, deciding for himself not to trust anyone else. If you do not notice such changes in the behavior of the child immediately, in adulthood he will distance himself from all people, which will lead to constant worries and stress.

Signs of a phobia

In order for the specialist to determine what to do in a particular case, it is important to ask for help in a timely manner. And for this, a phobia should be identified in a timely manner by its characteristic signs and symptoms.

Can you deal with fear of people?

YesNot

Symptoms of homolophobia can be as follows:

• acceleration of the heartbeat;
• sudden dryness in the mouth;
• muttering during communication and incoherent speech;
• violation of facial expressions;
• severe redness of the skin;
• an atypical response to the provision of moral support.

These symptoms are superficial and generally accepted, since each person is individual and can react in his own way. Someone has such a strong insecurity before communication that all the signs appear immediately, someone has only some of the items on the list.

Important! The longer a person remains inactive, and not trying to get rid of the phobia, the more strongly he will react to the stimulus in the future.

How to overcome the fear of communicating with people?

A qualified psychologist can tell you how to overcome the fear of communication. A big step towards solving the problem is to determine its cause and eradicate it. Experts note that techniques for getting rid of the fear of communication will be effective at any age of the patient. For this, several methods are practiced:

1. Gradual planning. How to overcome the fear of communication? In fact, you can reduce the degree of fear and tension if you plan communication in advance. If you play it in your head many times or visualize the scenario of the conversation, in the end you can understand that everything is not as scary and complicated as it seems at first glance.
2. Disregard. Fear and excitement before communicating with any person or in general is usually due to the fact that the person himself attaches too much importance to him. You just have to let the problem go by itself, relax, try to take things easier, as stiffness and stiffness will immediately go away.
3. Learn to relax. Fear and stress are the result of an overstrain of the nervous system, as a result of which it becomes difficult to do something. Therefore, relaxation and proper rest are important.
4. Awareness in the matter. If you prepare for the upcoming conversation by collecting the right information, this will significantly increase your self-confidence.
5. Autotraining. If you learn this technique, that is, focusing on certain desires, pronouncing your goals and desires, pronouncing them in an affirmative form, after some time a person will become more self-confident.
6. Repetition. A person just needs to do those things and actions that are best for him. It can be handmade gifts for loved ones, creativity and much more.
7. positive attitude. In any situation, you need to look for your pluses and concentrate purely on them.

Psychologists also note that you should never rely on the opinions of other people, your own should always be a priority. You need to respect yourself, your life, develop and learn new things all the time in order to discover new abilities and talents.

How to get rid of androphobia?

Psychologists also separately consider such types of fears as the fear of communicating with girls or men. Androphobia is a female phobia accompanied by a fear of men. The main guarantee of a successful fight against the problem is its recognition and full awareness, since many women tend to mistake androphobia for feminism. Interestingly, fear of men can be observed not only in women, but also in men themselves.

To cure a phobia, two aspects of successful treatment are important - identifying the object of the phobia, acknowledging the patient's fear, and talking frankly about it. The course of treatment will consist of two stages - taking drugs, whether it be antipsychotics, antidepressants or beta-blockers, as well as a course of therapy with a psychotherapist. Most often, the patient is confronted "face to face" with fear until the degree of anxiety subsides. Further, a habit is developed, and adequate behavior patterns are formed.

Speech fear in stutterers: how to overcome?

Often there is such a problem as a persistent fear of verbal communication in stuttering people, which in medical practice is called logophobia. Due to such a lack of speech as stuttering, over time, a person develops a rhinestone of an unsuccessful conversation, as a result of which a decision is made to be completely silent. You can overcome the problem yourself with the help of several ways:

• during a conversation, it is important to look the opponent directly in the eyes and not look away;
• during the conversation, it is important to take a deep breath and exhale, and you need to start talking right on the exhale, with the emphasis on the first syllable;
• if you can’t speak at the exit, you don’t need to force yourself, it’s not necessary to rush into a conversation;
• if you managed to express the main speech without hesitation, you can calmly talk further.

You can also visit a psychotherapist to determine the causes of such a phobia. If these are psychological traumas from childhood, isolation, low self-esteem and other disorders, he will help get rid of them with his own methods.

Conclusion

Phobias often go unnoticed until the moment when a person starts them to a deplorable state. In fact, it is important to recognize problems by their characteristic symptoms, to visit a psychologist or psychotherapist in order to receive qualified help. Fear of people, communication with them and close contacts today is quite common, and they can be eliminated both in children and in adult patients.

Shyness in front of people and fear of communication is a common problem. Most often, introverted people and teenagers face it. It is for them that it is extremely important what impression they make on others and whether others like them.

What is shyness? In psychology, this is the state of a person and the behavior caused by it, the main features of which are uncertainty, indecision, awkwardness, stiffness in movements and manifestations of one's own personality.

Different psychological schools explain the root causes of shyness in their own way and, accordingly, offer different solutions to the problem. Each person decides for himself which of them is closer to his personality, character and life experience.

1. Differential psychology. According to this theory, shyness is innate and inherited. Confidence cannot be learned. A rather pessimistic view of the problem, because an innate property of a person cannot be changed.
2. Behaviorism. According to the theory of behaviorism, any human behavior is a reaction to incoming stimuli, which under certain circumstances and the strength of emotional involvement becomes part of the personality. So it is with shyness - people could not master the feeling of fear on the stimuli of the social environment, which ultimately led to pathological insecurity in communicating with people.
3. Psychoanalysis. Psychoanalysts explain shyness by the presence of an unconscious conflict in the personality structure. In their opinion, this is the reaction of the unconscious to unsatisfied instinctive needs and the conflict between moral norms, reality and instincts.
4. Individual psychology. The followers of this trend actively explored shyness and the “inferiority complex” closely related to it, which appears in childhood, when the child begins to compare himself with his peers, often encounters his own imperfections and begins to be embarrassed by his appearance, his abilities, family, etc. If a child does not have enough self-confidence, he becomes fearful, withdrawn, passive. However, it is in this direction of psychology that special attention is paid to the possibilities of self-development of the individual, i.e. shyness is not a predetermined problem, which means that it is possible to get rid of it through work on oneself.
5. The theory of "high reactivity". According to her, the tendency to be shy is the body's reaction to overload. In this case, the consequences of this reaction can be two options:

• the child seeks to “avoid”, does not like to communicate and get acquainted, becomes insecure and fearful in public;
• the child enters the struggle, is overly self-confident.

Shyness can be based on two causes: natural and social. Natural means character, temperament, type of nervous system. Under the social - the influence of education, the environment, communication within the family.

Why is shyness dangerous?

Shyness and fear of people have common roots.

• the second is more related to personality pathologies and manifests itself in experiencing a feeling of fear in the presence of strangers and in the process of communication;
• the first - it is considered a common occurrence and does not cause anxiety among parents if their child is inclined to be shy in the company and avoid strangers, is afraid to get acquainted. An adult considers this quality a trait of character and the specifics of temperament, with which nothing needs to be done, but one has only to come to terms with.

Pathological fear of people is managed with medication or through sessions with a psychologist, and shyness is most often ignored. However, this is not entirely true.

In the context of life, shyness and inability to communicate can sometimes bring a person a lot of problems and missed opportunities, if you do not start working with it.

Shyness in most cases leads to:

• narrowing the circle of contacts. It is difficult for a shy person to get acquainted independently, to communicate freely. Usually, such people are limited to interaction in the family circle. At the same time, most often they suffer because of this - because they really need diverse communication;
• shyness affects the objectivity of the perception of the situation. When a problem or a stressful situation arises - a shy person often becomes illogical, forgetful;
• a shy person can rarely speak openly and defend his opinion;
• shyness is the cause of depression and reduced emotional background, shy people tend to feel dissatisfied;
• the poor emotional and social life of a person who tends to be shy leads to physical weakness and fatigue, muscle cramps, and stoop.

Based on the consequences of shyness listed above, it becomes obvious that it must be combated.

Shyness leads not only to negative feelings of fear and insecurity, but also reduces social adaptation, significantly affects the mental and physical level of personality development.

What to do?

Psychologists have developed exercises, performing which a person will understand how to stop being afraid of people, reduce the overall level of anxiety and the tendency to be shy in relationships with people and overcome their shyness.

1. In any communication situation, when you start to be afraid of others, remember that shyness is an ordinary feeling that has no objective reasons. It arises on the basis of a chain of thoughts that follows the feeling - I will be funny, I look ugly, I will not be able to talk decently, I am afraid to answer, etc. And all this is happening in your mind, although in reality everything may look exactly the opposite. Always keep this in mind when you start to feel shy or afraid of people.
2. Act in spite of the emerging feeling of shyness. Try to meet new people more and talk openly about your feelings.

Each time, acting overcoming your fears, you put a new positive experience into the “piggy bank” of your consciousness, on which your courage and confidence in relationships with people will subsequently be built.

1. Learn to speak and respond thinking only about your goal of communication, discarding all other thoughts. Forget all "what if". Keep in mind only your goal and the options for achieving it.
2. When communicating with people, avoid excessive politeness and a large number of introductory phrases. Build a conversation clearly and do not "mumble". Learn to speak a little, but to the point.
3. In moments of particular anxiety and fear, use breathing techniques. In yoga, they are actively used and help to manage their condition and minimize embarrassment.

How to remove shyness from your life

In addition to certain exercises that reduce situational shyness, allow you to manage your condition and not be shy in communication, psychologists have identified rules for attitudes towards life, oneself and other people. Building your lifestyle according to them, the question of how to stop being afraid of people will be closed:

1. Understand (by yourself or with the help of a psychologist) the reasons for your shyness. Where did it come from? Why should you be shy and afraid, and what benefits do you have from this? Record your insights and refer back to them periodically.
2. Live with the understanding that people are primarily concerned with themselves, and there are no spotlights on you.
3. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Do not forget that there are no ideal people, they are not divided into “good” and “bad” and you are not alone with your problem.
4. Always find reasons to praise and thank yourself. You need to do this regularly.
5. Strive to communicate more, get acquainted with new opinions, be interested in and study others, less “digging” into your own experiences. The tendency to reflection is an important quality, but in moderation. Excessive introspection drives you in circles, moving you away from reality and interaction with others. Strive to do, not dream.
6. Exercise regularly. Movement is the basis of life. Sport allows you to release the accumulated negative energy of fear and anxiety.
7. Always be prepared to be rejected or not appreciated. Understand why this scares you and what is the worst thing that can happen? You should learn to accept the word "no", do not strive to please everyone.
8. Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Perfectionism will be a bad helper for you. Remember, learning something without mistakes is impossible.

Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.

1. Don't waste the opportunity to practice your social skills and communicate more. Learn from the experience of those who, in your opinion, have overcome their shyness. Go periodically to trainings in communication skills or public speaking, where you can learn not to be shy and openly talk about your feelings and desires.
2. Find comfortable societies for yourself. Don't do it like everyone else - just because most people in your circle like to have fun in clubs and chat at parties - this does not mean that you should do it too.
3. Always watch what you say and how. Notice people's reactions. Forget and get distracted from your fear. In moments of anxiety - repeat: "I am not afraid of people, they will not do anything bad to me, I should not please everyone."

Final comments

Shyness reduces our life potential and deprives us of many opportunities. This quality of personality has long been recognized as a problem in psychology and is being actively investigated. The ability to communicate is the key to success in social life.

Based on most psychological theories, shyness is not a congenital defect and not a disease.

You can deal with it on your own if you work on yourself regularly. By doing certain exercises when you need to communicate with other people, it is possible to cope with shyness here and now, and by making the above rules the basis of life, you can enjoy communication and forget about the problem of shyness.