“What if he went crazy?” What to do if your friend began to behave inappropriately

1) unpredictable polar mood swings (from good to bad; and also, if suddenly his mood changes from bad to unjustified joyful euphoria);

2) unexpected reactions to you or other people (behaves not logically, but unexpectedly or too impulsively);

3) facial expressions and gestures do not correspond to what is happening (excessive theatricality, twitchiness, excessive gesticulation, or vice versa, a strange calmness in an inappropriate environment, a stopped unblinking look of a "boa constrictor" right in your eyes);

4) interrupts the interlocutors, does not listen to their arguments and opinions, does not listen to others at all, or voices his point of view out of topic, sometimes categorically declares a completely inappropriate opinion or transfers the topic of conversation in a completely different direction;

5) talks more about himself;

6) uses obscene language, rude slang expressions, or generally uses out of place expressions, uses defiantly abstruse phrases in ordinary everyday conversation (for example, you are discussing that who is planning to cook what for dinner today and your new acquaintance says: "I noticed that any individual in a state of mental discomfort is capable of not controlling his cognitive dissonance, therefore, sometimes he does not know what he should have done.");

7) inappropriate style of clothing for certain circumstances, frilly, overly flashy clothes;

8) defiant appearance, dyed hair in a bright color or a strange hairstyle;

9) in men - excessive piercing, earrings in the ears, rings on the fingers or a lot of tattoos all over the body, not to mention scarring (this will also be immediately visible in the camera.) Therefore, we often say - look at the man in the camera and draw conclusions!

Remember! It is impossible to designate an inadequate person by one or two signs if you are not a specialist in the field of psychology. And each of all these "red flags" can only be a feature of his personality.

Perhaps often we call people inadequate if we see only a discrepancy with our expectations. Therefore, be observant, but kind to people. Be respectful of those with whom you communicate, but do not need excessive unsolicited compassion to the detriment of yourself!

But, before you conclude that a person is inadequate, try to understand exactly YOUR attitude towards this. Not imposed by society or acquaintances. And, if you like a person, then you can try to understand the reasons for his inappropriate behavior and not rush to conclusions or a decision. There were times when all friends dissuaded a girl from a relationship with a man, but she followed the call of her heart, eventually got married, left for the USA and gave birth to a child. Although I didn’t even expect that I could ever get married at all. So, everything is individual. Be vigilant, do not succumb to virtual seducers, do not send money to anyone you know on the Internet, do not meet with those who are disgusting to you, do not pay anything for men, do not swear with anyone. And the rest - everything is fixable.

A person’s inadequacy has a lot of reasons, we do not know the details of his childhood and the methods of parenting, the individual characteristics of his personality, level of education and physiology. Unless, of course, it is not blatantly inadequate, so that it hurts your eyes, hearing, and generally causes complete disgust. There is only one conclusion - to run away from this and try not to contact under any circumstances. No patience, fall in love. This is what it means to listen to your heart.

Any inappropriate behavior of a person is an integral part of the environment in which he is. Social, political, economic, cultural and moral components, all affect the feedback of a person to external conditions. It is much easier to reduce everything to a specific person, highlighting it from the background of the rest and making it a scapegoat. But each personality is formed as a result of external influence, and therefore is a part of all other members of society. A quite reasonable question arises, such as why among all members of society with practically the same conditions of existence, there are separate individuals who behave inappropriately? My friends, in every herd there are weak ones who cannot withstand the same loads as the rest, in nature they die, and in society they are at best ridiculed and contemptible. In any society, they are always looking for strangers, always looking for those who are somehow different from the rest, inadequate human behavior is partly due to its inadequate perception by society.

There are many factors influencing the inappropriate behavior of a person, and first of all it concerns each of us, as an integral component of the society in which this happens, are we really not involved in the fact that we cause the inappropriate behavior of other people? Overestimated or underestimated self-esteem, the inability to achieve goals, dependence on other people, all this is inadequate behavior, and all this is inextricably linked with the environment. This does not mean that a person is not guilty of inappropriate behavior, it means that we are creating a society around us in which everyone can be the center of attention as a negative person. A person is mistaken about himself and this prevents him from adapting to society and taking a worthy place in it, but is this a rarity these days, inadequate behavior, can everything be reduced to just a few individuals?

We all become inadequate, society itself is greatly mistaken, both in relation to itself and in relation to each individual. And if we do not help a person to adapt among us, if we simply turn away from him, will we be adequate to ourselves? What is considered adequate behavior, belittling the weak, indulging in violence, setting yourself apart from the rest, and negatively evaluating individual members of our society? There is, of course, a criterion for evaluating any activity - this is the result to which it has led, and which we, you, need. If it is, then everything is correct, you did everything right, and if not, then a mistake has been made somewhere, either in relation to yourself or in relation to others. But do we want a society where there will always be inadequate individuals, do we want this result? And if the inadequate behavior of a person is only such, because it does not fit into social norms of behavior, and at the same time a person gets what he wants, how should we treat him?

So at the heart of a person’s inadequate behavior, there may be a banal rejection of him by society because of his beliefs. If you call black black when everyone sees it as white, then who do you think will be inadequate? Without external stimuli, a person is just a person who acts according to his instincts and desires. If a person has a need for food, then the desire to get it in any way will become his most adequate behavior. If you delve deeper into the nature of natural desires, you can see all the natural manifestations of a person on the way to achieving their goals. And the only thing that can confuse him is external factors, which, of course, should not be relied upon, but they certainly cannot be ruled out either.

In my opinion, at the heart of a person's inadequate behavior, first of all, one should consider his delusion regarding the ways to achieve his natural desires, based on natural needs. At the same time, external influence plays a colossal role, a person will have to fight against this influence, and for this, he will change himself, adapting to external conditions. Each component particle of the external world affects the behavior of a person, considering it and analyzing its impact on oneself, one can control one's behavior in accordance with one's interests. If you pay attention to your reaction in a given situation, then by rational selection, you can highlight both positive and negative moments for yourself. And this can give a significant advantage in adapting and in accordance with the public interest and their own.

In life, people often face stressful situations that have a bad effect on their behavior. Some of these situations are temporary, while others can last for a long time, causing negative consequences.

Stressful situations can leave an imprint on a person's behavior for life, for example, an unhappy childhood. The loss of a loved one, divorce can seriously change behavior for a while, but after that most people come to their senses. The main sources of inappropriate behavior:

external circumstances.

Inner or emotional state.

Most people succeed when they feel that the situation is under control, and sometimes they can even foresee this or that development of events. In this case, events are perceived as a challenge requiring action. But behavior can change drastically if a person does not get everything the way he wanted. The main reasons for this:

Stress is a state where everything is out of control and seems unpredictable. Usually stress is caused by:

Difficulties at work. The discrepancy between individual skills and requirements causes a feeling of inferiority that depresses a person.

Family and personal problems. Health problems, a stormy romance or a family tragedy completely take over a person. He cannot think of anything else, concentrating his attention only on these problems.

Too many responsibilities. The need to meet standards, the tight deadlines for completing the task make people take on too many responsibilities. Fear that it is impossible to achieve what you want is bad for behavior.

We all react differently to the same stressful situations, but stressful situations affect all people in the same way.

Involvement in an incident, guilt or a threat to life can cause one type of stress - psychological trauma. The reaction to this situation is different, but basically people behave the same way. There can be three phases of behavior:

1. At first, the person gets upset and feels bad.

2. Then he becomes passive, does not want to do anything, but follows orders.

3. Then he becomes irritable, preoccupied and cannot concentrate, as a result of which he has a strong emotional reaction.

People differ from each other in that they come to their senses after an injury in different ways. Some recover quickly, while others do not; some recover completely, while others have a psychological trauma that leaves an imprint for the rest of their lives. You will be able to understand the behavior of another person and begin to treat him more condescendingly if you know about the psychological trauma he has suffered in the past.

Alcohol and drugs can seriously affect a person's behavior. Usually they are resorted to in order to cope with adverse circumstances. Under the influence of alcohol and drugs, it seems to a person that he experiences problems more easily. In some cases, they suppress the negative reaction and temporarily relieve the worries due to problems, and in some cases they stimulate vitality and add confidence.

Solving problems with the help of alcohol or drugs is associated with a Russian nesting doll: you open one doll - you see the next one, and so on. Each previous problem is directly related to the next one, but does not explain it. It is necessary to open the second, sixth, tenth to find out the reason.

The psychological state of people largely depends on their internal mood, due to physical and chemical changes in the body. Often stress causes anxiety and depression.

Anxiety. Most people in threatening or stressful situations feel anxious and tense. This is a normal reaction. But if someone feels anxiety in situations that others can easily cope with, then it is necessary to pay attention to this, because this is already a real problem.

People who are constantly feeling anxious are always in a tense state. Most of the time they feel bad, they are afraid of stressful situations. Concern about all sorts of problems does not allow you to concentrate and make some kind of decision. Such people often ask themselves questions: “Could I have foreseen the consequences?”, “Did I turn off the light in the bathroom?”

Despite the presence of a reason for such behavior (negative experience in the past, mental discomfort that prevents blocking feelings of concern in case of inadequate reaction to what is happening), it is necessary to understand that, although a person tries to control him, he does not succeed.

Depression. Few of us can live our whole life in peace, without thinking about anything. There is nothing surprising in the fact that we feel despair or become depressed, sad because of events that upset or disturb us. But sometimes depression becomes chronic due to the fact that a person has been in a tense environment for a long time and cannot do anything or simply cannot control his emotions. It turns out a vicious circle: a person cannot get out of depression and from this becomes even more depressed. In this state it is impossible to concentrate, it seems that you are not able to change anything, that there is no future. All persuasions and requests to “stop thinking like that, discard bad thoughts and start acting” remain ineffective. All that can be done for such people is to treat them with understanding and compassion.

First you need to find out the causes of an inadequate state, to recognize the signs that signal that a person has a problem.

In order to understand that a person is behaving unusually, it is necessary to know what his behavior is normally. If a person does not look like himself for a long time, then this is a sign that he is not all right. Such warning signals can be, for example:

Being late for work before a completely punctual person;

Indifference to everything usually cheerful and energetic person;

Manifestations of irritability for any reason before a completely balanced personality;

Untidy appearance usually an immaculate-looking person;

Unusual forgetfulness and neglect of details in a person who is scrupulous to the smallest detail;

Absent-mindedness and confusion in a well-organized personality;

Anxiety and sadness in a carefree and cheerful person.

All of these signs signal personal problems, which are usually temporary, but in some cases can develop into permanent ones. Such changes are more often interpreted as a loss of interest in work or laziness. But such an interpretation of the signs that signal stress does not allow us to understand the true causes of behavior change.

Signs of addiction to alcohol are not so easy to notice, because the behavior of a person under the influence of alcohol is not always different from the usual. But there are some signs you need to pay attention to, namely:

Unpredictable and inconsistent activity: one day a person works actively and efficiently, the next - just wasting time.

He often has unexplained "accidents";

He often has incomprehensible mood changes: today he is in good mood, sociable, joking, and tomorrow - gloomy and depressed (the mood can change several times a day);

The person is often sick (colds, abdominal pain) or often takes days off;

Invites others to drink during lunch break or after the end of the work day.

It is very difficult to determine whether a person is abusing alcohol or not, because some people are good at hiding it. Therefore, it is advisable to analyze all the results of observation of behavior and take into account the comments of other people. One identified case may not be enough to suspect someone of alcohol abuse. But, if there are many such cases, it is necessary to pay attention and think about it. Conclusions should be drawn very carefully, because similar symptoms can signal other problems (constant irritability at work may indicate a tendency to gamble or use drugs).

Therefore, before drawing any conclusion, you need to weigh all the evidence. If necessary, seek expert advice.

Inappropriate behavior can be caused by various reasons. People react differently to circumstances, so it is not easy to determine the cause of their discomfort. Knowing some of the causes of inappropriate behavior helps to better understand the other person.

Analyze how stress can affect people's behavior and answer the following questions:

^ Do you think that people can become depressed if things get out of their control?

^ Do you understand that psychological trauma can affect a person's behavior?

^ Do you acknowledge that some people abuse alcohol because they think it's easier to deal with problems?

^ Do you agree that anxiety and stress can influence behavior?

^ Do you think behavior change is a sign of stress?

^ Do you always notice that someone behaves in a way that is not typical for him?

Recognize that everyday stress can affect people's behavior;

Be aware of the destructive effect of psychological trauma;

Understand that anxiety can change behavior for the worse;

Accept that depression does not allow people to control what is happening;

Understand that very often the presence of problems causes people to abuse alcohol;

Notice that someone's behavior is significantly different from the usual;

Understand that changes in behavior can signal that a person is under stress.

The Lantern editorial office received a letter from Vladimir Rykov with a request to "spread information about the possible danger lurking on the streets of our city." The young man shared his fears: he and his wife with a child periodically walk in Victory Park and meet one person there who “moves around the entire territory of the park, carries all kinds of garbage with him and, the strangest thing, sticks to passers-by asking him to photograph and send photo on his page in "VKontakte".

Rykov wrote that the man they encountered repeatedly "has a shabby appearance and strange things in his hands." The author of the letter also studied the page of this unusual passer-by in VKontakte. According to him, “the page is just full of very strange and sometimes frightening information. There are even videos with his participation, where he does not hesitate to use expressions against various people, including those containing a threat.” The author of the letter says that about 10 thousand people have subscribed to the VKontakte page of a person walking in the park. The applicant believes that the Belgorod citizen referred to in the letter can pose a danger to himself and others, so he asked the editors for advice on how to proceed in this situation.

Shortly after Vladimir Rykov's letter, the editorial office received several more requests with a request to pay attention to the entry in the Black List. Belgorod" with a request to parents to talk with their children and recommend them not to approach a person who walks around the city center.

- I don't know what's going on in his head. He begs, asks for money (including from children), eats from garbage cans, collects garbage bags, he smells bad, has problems with the law. He posted a photo of his apartment on the page (and one of the children came to him and took these photos). He speaks menacingly about all the inhabitants of Belgorod, calls for reprisals, hates everyone, demands someone's corpses on Belgorod Square, and yet he has more than 9 thousand subscribers, children read him. Unfortunately, the police will not respond until he has done something, writes one of the Belgorod residents.

The author of the entry asks: “Is there any service that takes care of such people? He needs medical help, and he needs to be protected from society, especially since his page is full of negativity, obscenities and calls to “punish everyone.”

This entry has received over 500 comments. Opinions can be conditionally divided into “protecting”, the authors of which talk about the need to help such people, and “condemning” - their authors point to the danger emanating from the hero of the recording.

After these appeals, we turned to the experts and learned from them what to do and who to contact if it seems that someone around is behaving inappropriately and is a danger to other people.

“It is safer for doctors not to put the patient in the hospital”

Psychiatrist Karolina Manachinskaya, referring to the federal law "On psychiatric care and guarantees of the rights of citizens in its provision", explained that psychiatric care is provided upon voluntary treatment of a person or with his consent.

- An exception is those cases when his examination and treatment are possible only in stationary conditions, and the mental disorder is severe and can carry an immediate danger to a person or others. Also, the basis for forced placement in a hospital may be the inability of a person to satisfy basic life needs on his own, or the likelihood that, if assistance is not provided, a person’s health will be significantly harmed due to a deterioration in mental state without psychiatric help, the specialist said.

Karolina Manachinskaya explained that the decision on the validity of hospitalization is made by a commission of psychiatrists of a psychiatric institution. It must be convened within 48 hours of the person's involuntary hospitalization.

If hospitalization is recognized as justified, then the conclusion of the commission of psychiatrists is sent to the court within 24 hours. It is usually considered within five days of hospitalization, and then the judge issues an order that involuntary hospitalization is necessary.

When a person's behavior can pose a danger to others, an ambulance is usually called. He is taken to a hospital, but without his consent, treatment is not started, and he is simply under observation. A lawyer arrives a few days later, checks whether human rights are being violated, and then you have to wait for a court decision. Now the laws have become stricter, and psychiatrists are criminally responsible for the fact that a person may be hospitalized not according to indications. In a way, this can tie doctors' hands. It is easier and safer not to put the patient in a hospital than to treat "by force". If a person is not registered, there is no reason to put him in a hospital, even if his condition worsens.

The psychiatrist says that under the current legislation, no preventive measures are currently provided for in relation to the mentally ill.

If the patient behaves calmly in the presence of a psychiatrist, then involuntary hospitalization does not threaten him. In fact, it is possible only if the person is under dispensary observation, and his behavior is clearly destructive.

Karolina said that if it seems to a person that a passerby on the street is behaving inappropriately, it can be dangerous for him, you should try to exclude contact with him and not draw attention to yourself.

If it so happened that you have to communicate with this person, you need to behave calmly, speak in an even voice, do not ask questions. On the network, the security rules are the same: it’s better not to start a correspondence, not to comment on his entries, not to give out your personal data, because this can lead to the fact that you will be calculated and persecuted, Karolina Manachinskaya advises.

Contact the police - employees must respond

The head of the information and public relations department of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia for the Belgorod Region, Colonel of the Internal Service Aleksey Goncharuk said that in such situations, police officers are also guided by the law “On psychiatric care and guarantees of the rights of citizens in its provision.” Based on this document, they determine the indications for the need for medical intervention.

- In cases where a police officer suspects that a person is mentally ill, he can call an ambulance at the place of residence of this person or at the police station, if he is there. In the behavior of a person in such a situation, actions that threaten him or others should be traced.

In other cases, information about such citizens is sent by law enforcement agencies to the name of the chief physician of the regional clinical neuropsychiatric hospital.

Also, the police are obliged to help health workers to deliver to specialized medical institutions those people who are called there by a court order, but they do not comply with this decision. With involuntary hospitalization, the degree of aggressiveness of the patient is taken into account. If he has with him objects with which he can injure, they are confiscated.

The head of the information and public relations department of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia for the Belgorod Region recalled that the police, together with medical workers, should monitor people who suffer from mental disorders, are ill with alcoholism or drug addiction and pose a danger to others. This is done in order to prevent possible crimes and administrative offenses. If information about a person was provided by health workers, and he is on a preventive list in one of the territorial police departments, preventive work is carried out with him: the police systematically come to his house at least once a quarter to assess his condition.

Alexey Goncharuk explained that when one of the tenants in an apartment building litters his apartment, the landing with garbage, starts a lot of animals, does not comply with sanitary and hygienic standards, his own legislative norm also applies to him.

- The owner of a dwelling is obliged to maintain it in proper condition, preventing mismanagement of it, to observe the rights and legitimate interests of neighbors, the rules for using residential premises, as well as the rules for maintaining the common property of owners of premises in an apartment building. Residents have the right to apply to the police on such facts to record them and take action in accordance with applicable law.

The police must accept and register a statement or report of an offense, if necessary, conduct an audit, take measures provided for by the legislation of the Russian Federation. Also, the police must inform the applicants about the progress of the consideration of such applications and transfer them to other organizations if the solution of the problem is within their competence. So, for example, in case of non-compliance with sanitary and hygienic standards based on the results of an inspection, the police send information to the Sanitary and Epidemiological Supervision authorities and the Department of Municipal Economy to consider the issue of bringing the perpetrators to administrative responsibility.

Learn to respect the freedom of others

Priest, psychologist Mikhail Artemenko said that if someone began to notice the unusual behavior of a loved one, he can contact the Family Support Center at the Church of Peter and Fevronia.

- If people believe that their loved one is unwell, his behavior has changed, you need to find out what exactly they do not like, what they are afraid of. Be sure to find an opportunity to talk with the person himself, about whom loved ones are worried. This conversation should be voluntary, it is necessary that the person himself wants to come to talk and tell about what is happening with him. “A slave is not a pilgrim” - there is such a phrase. Involuntarily, you can’t do anything with a person, you can only call him, - the psychologist explained.

Mikhail Artyomenko says that the priest must understand why a person's habitual way of life can change.

When changing behavior, it happens that we assume the influence of religious organizations of a totalitarian nature on a person. We need to exclude or confirm this. If it is confirmed, then there will be two scenarios: if the activities of the organization are prohibited in our country, we must contact law enforcement agencies. If not, again, we can only talk. When a possible mental illness is suspected, we may recommend that relatives talk to the person about seeing a neurologist or psychiatrist. Next is the matter of relatives, how they can persuade them to correctly bring their loved one to this. In general, it is quite difficult to convince someone to go to a psychiatrist, here pride turns on: “How am I sick?”.

If a person has violent behavior, other leverage may be involved, such as going to an ambulance. I also want to add that the behavior of another, which we may not like, is a sensitive issue. It's just that often we want the thoughts and feelings of another to match our ideas about them. And it is important to learn to respect the freedom of another. Maybe someone likes to go out at night and look at the stars for hours, but we do not understand this. The same holy fools always had incomprehensible, inexplicable behavior for the majority. Well, here is another good phrase: "Do not judge, but you will not be judged."

Any “other citizen” can apply

Director of the legal company "Charter" Alexandra Bereslavtseva believes that caution must be exercised in such situations.

- Before talking about hospitalization, it is necessary to establish whether there are grounds for resorting to such extreme measures of influence as the forced restriction of a person's freedom. If you don't like that your neighbor or acquaintance is behaving "weirdly", this does not mean that he has mental problems. And even if there is, this does not mean that he can be forcibly hospitalized, otherwise such measures can be used for non-medical purposes, harm the health, dignity and rights of citizens.

In accordance with Article 4 of the Law “On Psychiatric Care and Guarantees of the Rights of Citizens in its Provision,” psychiatric care is provided upon voluntary treatment and with consent to medical intervention, except as expressly provided by law.

Moreover, involuntary hospitalization or other restriction of the rights of persons suffering from mental disorders, only on the basis of a psychiatric diagnosis in accordance with the law, is unacceptable.

Alexandra Bereslavtseva explained in what situations compulsory psychiatric care can be provided.

If a person poses an immediate danger to himself or others, cannot independently satisfy the basic needs of life, his health deteriorates without the provision of psychiatric assistance, then on the basis of Article 23 of the aforementioned law, a psychiatric examination of this person can be carried out without his consent or without the consent of his legal representative.

A difficult character is, in essence, an inadequacy of response and, accordingly, unpredictability.

They don’t joke with fire, not because he doesn’t understand jokes, but because fire has an inadequate reaction to jokes

Sometimes pointless fear develops into pointless panic;

panic is accompanied by inadequate forms.

It is not enough to find a non-standard solution,

We still need to find an inadequate performer.

The world is not to blame that EVERYONE perceives it in their own way, that is, inadequately.

If a person inadequately treats different personalities, if he is unfriendly to them

perceives, this is a sign that his understanding of friendship is very narrow.

And the narrower the understanding of friendship in a person, the easier it is to become his enemy.

Inadequacy as a quality of a person is the inability to correspond to something with words, actions, deeds.

Telephone conversation: Hello! Is this a repair shop? - Good afternoon! Yes. - My fridge is broken. Are you far away from him? — No, nearby. - Open the door and stick the tube inside so I can listen and see ... - Well, what do you say now? - What a moron you are!

In psychiatry, inadequacy is understood as the inconsistency of individual mental acts or their combination with external circumstances. For example, in schizophrenia, paranoia is characterized by emotional inadequacy, i.e. strange and incomprehensible emotional reactions to external events, or lack of reactions to events that should have caused them. In ordinary life, inadequacy of behavior is observed in people suffering from psycho-neurological pathology, alcohol and drug addiction, also in adolescence in the form of behavior that deviates from social norms of behavior.

Clinical manifestations of inadequacy are diagnosed by a specialist - a psychiatrist, and in everyday life - by anyone who is not satisfied with the behavior of another person. The pride of an egoist requires that everything must be controlled, people must live up to his expectations, must live according to his ideas about life, must be the same as him. They have no right to be different. If close people deviate from his model of the world, he is offended, condemns and tries to turn the tide. If others “sin” with freethinking, then they are inadequate.

The label "Inadequacy" can be attached to almost any person if his words and deeds do not fit into the picture of the world of others. A bunch of conformists, seeing dissent, will say that their actions are illogical, potentially dangerous and poorly predictable, and Voltaires, Copernicuses and Einsteins will instantly be enrolled in the “detachment of inadequate” human beings. Given our past with the "treatment" of dissent in an extensive system of psychiatric hospitals, people experience fear at the word "inadequacy". Serious mental illnesses are one thing, but they are well aware of the grave fateful consequences that an unfounded, undeserved or thoughtless accusation of a person of inappropriate behavior can lead to. An individual, according to conformists, is inadequate if she crossed the line, stood up for the flags. The party apparatus considered Vladimir Vysotsky inadequate, always kept a free bed for him in a psychiatric hospital, but was afraid of the dangerous “wolf”: “The wolf must not, cannot otherwise! Here my time ends. The one I'm destined for Smiled and raised his gun. I got out of control. For the flags - the thirst for life is stronger! Only from behind I joyfully heard the surprised cries of people.
Recently, an inconspicuous, humble person appeared in a Russian church who wished to serve at the altar completely disinterestedly - to serve a censer, to light candles. It was a St. Petersburg criminal authority, a thief in law and a successful businessman rolled into one. One glance of his led many in awe and horror. The priest says: “The Lord is merciful to everyone and wants to save everyone. He also knocked on the heart of a lost person, baptized in childhood, and awakened his conscience. This Authority frequented one of the cloisters, where he repeatedly confessed his gloomy deeds with tears, and grace touched him and began to visibly change: his face brightened, his behavior changed, in dealing with others and subordinates he became completely different. The abbot of the monastery blessed him to serve at the altar during the service. He began to give the priest a censer, clean the altar, and emphasized his reverence for the holy place by taking off his shoes from his feet when he entered the altar. Rumors spread around the city in certain circles: “Is it true,” the gangsters asked each other, “that our Authority serves in the temple?” “Yes,” answered the priests who knew this, “and we are very pleased with him.” The lads shook their heads meaningfully and wondered. But some time passed, and the Authority was shot from machine guns in his car in Moscow. There were reports in the newspapers that, they say, in the redistribution of the sphere of influence, such and such was killed, but it seems to me that this is not so. The thieves in the law of the spiritual growth of their comrade and boss could not forgive. It can be seen that it is one thing to shower the temple with money, to donate for the construction of chapels and temples, but to part with sins and change your life is quite another. Giving money is one thing, but serving and cleaning the altar is another. They couldn't forgive him for that."

From the positions of the lads, the behavior of the thief in law was inadequate, and if so, there is nothing to disgrace the “glorious” name of the criminal Authority. As you know, people adhere to different concepts of happiness - for an alcoholic it is in a bottle, for a drug addict - in a dose, for a benevolent person - in selfless service to other people. Being on different life platforms, they classify each other's behavior in different ways. Inadequacy in everyday communication without taking into account the life concept of a person, the environment of which he is a representative, turns into the imposition of stereotypes, prejudices and dogmas. Put an American at the table, he and his feet on the table. If you don’t know that he is an American, why are you not a candidate for being inadequate? In other words, inadequacy, excluding clinical cases and the state of affect, is extremely subjective, tendentious and dependent on the life platform on which the “appraiser” stands.

In the series "Lone Wolf" there is such an episode. The good hero is kidnapped by representatives of the world of ignorance and forced to play Russian roulette under a gun in front of spectators who have made bets on life or death. Before the "performance" a prostitute is brought to his room. According to their expectations, the guy should immediately jump out of his shorts, and suddenly they see a refusal. This is shocking, and they conclude that it is inadequate. In this circle, his behavior did not fit into the framework of established and familiar concepts.

Almost everyone behaves inappropriately when frightened, strong fear, excitement. A person sometimes needs time to overcome sticky fear, to cope with strong excitement. The interval between the action of the stimulus and the reaction to it is the most favorable time for the manifestation of inadequacy. Most people overcome fear and excitement, returning to their usual adequate state.

Inadequacy manifests itself especially clearly when a person cannot adapt to the environment, adapt to various life situations. Parable in the context of this thesis. A crow sits on a tree. A hare runs past. He saw that the crow was sitting, shouting to her: - Crow, what are you doing there? - I'm not doing anything. “Oh, can I also sit here and do nothing?” - Go ahead, oblique! Well, the hare sat under a tree, also does nothing, it catches the buzz. But then suddenly a fox runs past, like a hare grabs by the side. The hare shouts to the crow: - Well, you promised that you could sit and do nothing! Crow: - Yes, but I forgot to add: in order to do nothing, you have to sit high!

Inadequacy is a deeply internal quality of a person, manifested in a persistent inability to correspond to something that worries and worries a person. Therefore, it is correct and correct to speak of internal inadequacy, when, for example, a person's actions do not agree with conscience. Inadequacy attributed from the outside, like a label, is just someone's subjective assessment, someone's preconceived opinion.

Internal inadequacy causes pangs of conscience, disagreements between the soul and the mind, constant skirmishes between the coveted mind and the impartial mind. For example, a person does not know how to control the “talk” of the mind. Thoughts hover in his head like a free bird and, without the participation of the mind, end up on the tongue. Having spoken nonsense, he then reproaches himself for incontinence, experiencing a state of internal inadequacy.

Inadequacy is defectiveness, ugliness of character or lack of "brakes" of conscience and reason. Adequacy is always the correspondence of something to something. If a person is at odds with his conscience and reason, then his actions do not meet their requirements, therefore, he is internally inadequate. What prevents him from being adequate to the voice of the heart and the requirements of the mind? First of all, selfishness. Ego strikes the mind and its tentacles - the feelings of a person, permeates all of his consciousness. Having committed some bad deed under the influence of selfish feelings and emotions, for example, deceit or treason, a person after a while hears the voice of conscience, experiences psychological discomfort. The content of his act does not meet the requirements of the internal controller - conscience, which is evidence of internal inadequacy.

Petr Kovalev