How to get rid of irrational fears. The danger of the condition and the possibilities of modern therapy

Fear is an innate reaction caused by the environment. We come into the world almost devoid of fears. The only fear that belongs to babies is the fear of falling from great heights and the fear of loud sounds. All other fears appear later as a reaction to some events. And the main focus of all of them is the conviction that we do not have the ability to cope with our lives.

Every person should be able to overcome fears, otherwise he will not be able to get in his life to any, even the smallest height, not to mention the fact that or. There are many methods,. Below I will give a description of five very powerful ways, where, by putting into practice, each person can overcome any of his fears.

How to get rid of fear?

METHOD 1: JUST DO IT (JUST DO IT)

And in conclusion, I want to give you one warning. In the article I write that you are struggling with fear, but in reality in no case and never and under no circumstances fight with it. When you fight fear, it becomes even stronger and takes over your mind even more. When it arises, acknowledge and accept it. If you tell yourself that "I'm really scared", this does not mean that you are weak. Everyone is afraid of something, and only successful people have learned to act in spite of it. Masculinity is not the absence of fear, but the ability to act in its presence without paying any attention to it. When you admit that you are scared, you can switch your thoughts to something else and take your mind off it. When you fight him, he starts to suck energy out of you, and this only makes him stronger. You destroy fear only when you completely ignore it and get distracted by something else.

How to get rid of fear

METHOD 5: COURAGE TRAINING

Our task is to learn how to get rid of any fears so that it does not interfere with us as soon as we make a decision or dare to do something. We will try to achieve the absence of intellectual fear. This will make us more likely to think clearly when it comes time to make a decision.

The first thing to realize is that the main problem is fear itself, not the object of fear. If we are afraid of rejection, then there is no benefit in fighting the fear by trying to reduce the number of rejections. People are so unable to cope with fear that they have reduced all situations below the plinth when it can appear. They don't do anything at all. And this is a direct path to misfortune.

So the first step is to identify the fear.

Imagine that courage training is the same as building muscles in the gym. First you work out with a light weight that you are able to lift. When it's easy for you to lift that weight, switch to a heavier weight and try to lift it. The situation is similar with fear. First you train with a small fear, then you switch to a stronger one. Let’s take the fear of public speaking as an example. You experience fear of speaking in front of an audience of 1200 people. First, gather your acquaintances, friends and speak to them. Speaking in front of 12 people is almost not scary. Next, gather 35 people and speak to them. If at this stage you suddenly have problems, you tremble, stutter, forget the words you should have said, get lost - practice with this audience until you get used to it, until you start to feel comfortable. And then move on to an audience of 60 people. Then 120, 250, 510 and 1100.

Let's look at other options. For example, you do not want to look stupid in front of the people around you and therefore you are afraid. To stop being afraid, you need to do this, and fear will disappear. Practice. Intentionally, in various situations, make yourself look like a real fool and laugh at yourself.

If you are a shy and reserved person, practice normal communication with people. Start by simply smiling at passers-by on the street. You will notice that people will also smile at you in return. Of course, you will also meet those who will consider that you are smiling at them, since you are smiling at them. Everything is fine. Then start greeting passers-by. Just say: "Good afternoon". Say hello to people. They will think that you are an acquaintance, but they will not remember you. Then try to make light conversation. While standing in line, strike up a conversation with someone on a neutral topic, like this: "I can't stand standing in lines" will immediately provoke a person to answer you: “Yes, I agree with you on this, but you have to stand and nothing can be done.” And the like. Start with any neutral topics of conversation, like the weather.

The point is to get used to overcoming small fears first, and then move on to big ones.

Briefly, this process can be explained as follows:

1. Figure out your biggest fear
2. Divide it into at least 7 small fears
3. Start practicing overcoming the smallest (lightest) fears.
4. If you are scared even before him, divide it into a few more small fears.
5. Overcome your fears step by step
6. Practice Constantly

In this way, you will learn to conquer any of your fears. If you do not practice for a long time, you will have to start again with slight fears in the future. Similarly, in the gym, if you haven't trained for a long time, your muscles have become unaccustomed to training with heavy weights and you need to start again with a light one. Fear will always be with you, and as soon as you stop training, it will take over you, and another time you will have to start all over again.

OTHER METHODS FOR OVERCOMING FEAR

There is one pattern - the better your opinion of yourself, the less fear you have. Your self-esteem protects you from fear. And it doesn't matter if it's objective self-assessment or not. Therefore, people with high self-esteem are able to do more than people with objective self-esteem.

2. Faith in God (Universe, angel, overmind..)
When you sincerely believe in something higher, you sincerely believe that this higher takes care of you, then it becomes not so scary. The darkness of fear seems to be evaporated by the light of this higher power.

3. Love
A man tends to overcome a very strong fear for the sake of his beloved woman. This also applies to mothers who, for the sake of their children, do everything they can and cannot.

I dare to point out that any positive emotion helps you overcome fear, and any negative emotion hinders you.

fear, how to get rid of fear, how to overcome fear

7 effective tips on how to get rid of a phobia. It is not worth living with a sense of fear, you need to try to overcome it with all your might.

Have you met absolutely fearless people?

Those who are not afraid of anyone and nothing?

For those who have no idea what a phobia is?

Personally, I don't.

It seems to me that people devoid of fears live exclusively in myths, art, literature, but not in real life.

And if somewhere there is a person who does not need to think, how to get rid of a phobia, then he, being an exception, only emphasizes the rule: we are all afraid of something.

And yet, no matter how natural the feeling of fear, it is not worth living with it.

You have to try your best to get rid of it.

What is a phobia and what exactly do you need to get rid of?

From the Greek language, the word "phobia" is translated as fear and means uncontrollable irrational horror in some situations, next to a certain object, a living creature, or even in anticipation of the appearance of the object of one's fear.

Phobia in psychiatry is considered a nervous disorder.

It has already been well studied, described and classified.

To date, science has proven the existence of so many phobias that only their enumeration and brief interpretation will not fit within one article.

What are people afraid of!

Next to such common phobias as fear of heights, confined spaces, and various living creatures, very original horrors peacefully coexist, for example:

• panophobia - fear for no reason;
• neophobia - fear of any change;
• megalophobia - fear of big things;
• laterophobia - people suffering from it are afraid to lie down on their side;
• eichophobia - fear of hearing and / or speaking pleasant words, etc.

The term "phobia" itself has gradually evolved and today, merging with other words, it means a negative attitude (or non-acceptance) of something.

For example, “homophobia” is hatred towards people of non-traditional sexual orientation, “xenophobia” is a hostile attitude towards everything that seems alien, foreign, and therefore dangerous, etc.

But let’s be honest: any phobia arises as a result of fear (it’s not a new idea that homophobes are latent gays who are afraid to join the ranks of the LGBT community), so further we will talk about how to get rid of a phobia in the sense of “uncontrollable horror” , "irrational fear".

Why get rid of a phobia if it doesn't bother me too much?

The concepts of "fear" and "phobia" are not identical, as you already understood.

A phobia is more of a kind of fear, it is a panicky horror that seizes us when we find ourselves face to face with what we fear most.

This nasty feeling makes us absolutely helpless, deprives us of the ability to think clearly.

If you do not get rid of your phobia in time, then it will not only poison your life all the time, but, quite likely, can lead to much more sad consequences.

For example, you are fleeing from some kind of mortal danger, and then a suspension bridge comes across on your way, which rises above the abyss.

And you have a fear of heights.

What to do: stay on the shore and perish, or overpower yourself and be saved?

But if you had tried to get rid of your phobia in advance, you would not have faced such a difficult choice, but crossed the bridge without having time to blink an eye.

Or here is another example: you are participating in some kind of show, you are already close to winning, but between you and the win there is a room with large cockroaches.

So what: give up your dream because you are afraid of these bugs?

Of course, these examples may seem ridiculous to you and will surely cause many to think: “Oh, I will never find myself in such a situation.”

Yes, even if you do not find yourself, then do you, a reasonable person, allow some stupid fear to guide you?

Here I have a friend who is so afraid of snakes that she never goes to the forest and does not even visit parks.

To deprive yourself of such joy instead of getting rid of a phobia - I don’t understand this.

How to get rid of a phobia? Face your fears!

Many people do not even suspect what accomplishments they are capable of.

For some reason, it is easier for them to whine, be afraid and complain than to do something.

You can get rid of a phobia if you face your fears with your own eyes.

It is better to do this not abruptly (although this method of dipping into ice water will do), but gradually, so that there is not such a big load on your nervous system.

For example, you are afraid of snakes.

Start your acquaintance with these cute creatures by looking at the pictures (you just don’t need to read horror stories, how many people die from their bites and they are so dangerous creatures), just look at the pictures.

Gradually move on to the video (again, do not open the video called "boa constrictor eating a rabbit" or "anaconda killing a man").

The next stage in the fight against ophiophobia (fear of snakes) is a visit to visit them, in a terrarium.

Constantly reassure yourself by looking at them: "There is glass between us, they will not do anything bad to me."

When you stop trembling, looking at these reptiles, go on to face-to-face acquaintance with them.

You can even take a souvenir photo with a snake in the circus as proof that you managed to get rid of the phobia.

Here are some more ways to help you get rid of a phobia:

Change of reaction.

For example, you are afraid of drowning.

With the help of visualization, self-hypnosis and other methods, accustom your mind so that when you look at the river, you have a reaction not of fear, but of relaxation.

Vision of prospects.

Think for yourself: you, being afraid of heights, deprive yourself of many pleasant entertainments: a balloon, an airplane, parachutes, a "ferris" wheel, roller coasters, rock climbing, etc.

If you get rid of your phobia, you can enjoy it all.

Gaining confidence.

Admit to yourself honestly that you are just comfortable living with your phobia.

And all these “I can’t”, “it doesn’t work”, “it’s difficult” are the usual excuses for a weakling.

Become strong, believe that you can handle any accomplishments and there will be no trace of your fears.

Looking for a companion.

There is such a proverb in Ukraine “a herd and a father is easier to beat”.

Do not try to get rid of a phobia on your own, take a friend who suffers from the same ailment to help.

Firstly, you will have more fun with him, and secondly, you may become ashamed that someone is more afraid of something than you, and you will stop being a coward.

Love for your phobia.

For example, you love cats but are afraid of dogs.

You need to feel sincere sympathy for these friends of man.

Every time you look at a dog, remember what feelings you have for your cat and gradually transfer some of the love from one living being to another.

Some more useful tips to get rid of phobias,

voiced in the video:

Can't get rid of a phobia on your own? Go to a specialist!

Let's say you have a phobia that you want to get rid of.

You have tried many different methods, including those recommended by me, studied this topic up and down, but fear is not going to let you go from its tenacious paws.

It’s not possible to solve the problem on your own - it’s not scary, because there are specialists who will definitely help.

A psychologist and a psychotherapist are not terrible cannibals, they are the most useful people for modern society who know exactly how to get rid of a phobia.

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The feeling of fear is a skill acquired in the process of evolution, a “brake” that keeps people from dangerous actions, in some cases saving lives. However, situations are not uncommon when stiffness, anxiety, excessive unreasonable fears interfere with socialization and adaptation in new conditions. How to get rid of fear and make life rich, interesting?

What is fear?

Psychologists consider fear to be a negatively colored emotion and mean by this concept an internal state of mind that precedes a real or imaginary (supposed) unpleasant, dangerous event.

Fear is a natural companion of the instinct of self-preservation, thanks to it, cautious individuals who knew how to calculate the situation in advance, were able to survive during hunting, war, and dangerous experiments.

How is fear formed?

A modern person is equipped with many gadgets and devices that protect him from dangers, the experience accumulated over the centuries indicates that it can threaten health and life, but the number of fears has not only not decreased, but, on the contrary, has increased significantly.

Fear is inherent in a person at the genetic level, it is manifested by similar emotional expressions, facial expressions, gestures, and behavior.

Fears that are formed on the basis of situations that objectively cannot be considered dangerous are called "phobias", they are considered a type of mental disorder. The phobia is subject to psychological and medical adjustment.

Some phobias are so comical from the outside that they cannot be taken seriously. For their "owner" they become a problem that interferes with leading a normal full life.

The most amazing phobias

• Fear of long words. Winnie the Pooh suffered from this phobia, stating that "long words only upset him";
• Fear of furry animals: cats, dogs, hamsters and other animals cause sharply negative emotions in the owners of a strange phobia, although most people consider these representatives of the fauna to be cute;
• Fear of cooking: This is not about laziness or the fear of a person that the dish he prepared will not be called a culinary masterpiece. People suffering from mageirokophobia are shy in front of the products from which they need to cook, and in front of those who cook something from these products, even if we are talking about a banal fried egg. Such a phobia can destroy a person's life;
• Deipnophobes are terribly afraid of table conversations, therefore they rarely visit and do not invite friends to their place, except perhaps people suffering from the same fear - those with whom they do not have to talk over a glass of wine;
• Fear of mirrors is a fairly common phobia. Mirrors have been haunting people for a long time, magical rituals and everyday superstitions are associated with them, in fairy tales and fantasy books, it is through mirrors that heroes enter the otherworldly mysterious world (take Alice, or Olya and Yalo, for example). People who suffer from eisoptrophobia avoid mirrors, do not sleep in rooms with mirrors, and have no idea how they control their appearance. It is characteristic that this phobia is common among attractive women, but often it is based on an underlying fear of seeing in the mirror signs of aging, the withering of one's own beauty.

And then there is the fear of dragons, the number of the devil, vegetables, good wishes, purple, close relatives and many, many more unusual fears.

A phobia is a manifestation of an inexplicable, irrational fear that a person is most often not able to overcome on his own.

What are the fears

In psychology, you can find various classifications of fears grouped according to a similar attribute.

Fears by age

Childhood fears

A characteristic feature of childhood fears is an object of fear that does not frighten a teenager or an adult - the heroes of scary films, fairy tales, darkness, thunderstorms, unfamiliar sounds.

It is no secret that some people live with childhood fears all their lives, carefully hiding them from others. Adults surrounding the child, society are involved in the formation of children's fears.

Many adults are afraid of clowns only because in childhood they were made happy by some "professional" in a wild wig and with a crooked scarlet lipstick smile that looks more like a predatory grin.

Teenage fears

These include fear of communication, fear of death, fear of girls (or men), embarrassment before sex; modern teenagers are very afraid of being left without their favorite gadgets (phone, tablet, computer), without mobile communications, social networks.

Parents' fears

The birth of a child is often associated with various anxieties: a woman worries about pregnancy, childbirth (domestic medicine implicitly warms up these fears, and antenatal clinics and maternity hospitals are sheer stress for a woman expecting a baby).

With the birth in the soul of most mothers, fear for the child, for his life and health, firmly settles. Sometimes it takes on monstrously hypertrophied dimensions, not allowing the mother to let go of her child a single step.

Suppressing his personality, they impede socialization and adaptation, and this becomes the cause of complexes in the future.

Phobias depending on the dominant fear

• Associated, one way or another, with space - a closed or open space, unfamiliar premises;
• Social phobias - fear of speaking, fear of communicating with people, fear of attracting attention, sneezing, blushing, saying something inappropriately;
• Fear of disease, acquiring a critical form during epidemics;
• Fear of life and its opposite, fear of death;
• Fears associated with relationships with the opposite sex - fear of intimate relationships;
• Fear of harming yourself or loved ones in some way;
• Fear of fear

How to help your child get rid of fears

It is very important to help the child deal with their fears, overcome them in childhood. In adolescence, children's fears are manifested by aggressive behavior, rudeness, asocialization, and difficulties in communication.

1. Stage one: to find . In a confidential conversation with the child, you need to find the fears that disturb the baby, find out what they are based on, what specifically scares and why;
2. Stage two: defuse . In the book Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, young wizards are offered to overcome their greatest fear by making it funny: the paws of a huge spider move in different directions on roller skates, and the most formidable teacher turns out to be dressed up in a grandmother's hat and holds her purse under her arm. It is worth trying this method with a child, along the way not only pronouncing, but also visualizing actions (draw, cut, sculpt from plasticine). You can “send” fear into space, lock it up in a distant castle, throw it into a deep sea cave, compose a fairy tale in which the hero, very similar to a little coward, conquers fear forever.

Ways to get rid of fear

Psychologist's advice on how to overcome fear at home:

The principle of working with obsessive fear is fundamentally different from the treatment of children's fears.

The technique recommends allocating 20 minutes a day, two intervals of 10 minutes, during which the brain should be occupied only with oppressive fear. But not by calming down and looking for ways to solve the upcoming problem, but, on the contrary, by continuous negative.

It is necessary to mentally scroll or speak aloud the upcoming frightening situation, presenting it in all the most terrible details. For example, being afraid to fly on an airplane, one should imagine the most terrible catastrophes.

Bad thoughts are exaggerated, concentrated, forced to the point of absurdity. Ten minutes you can not think about anything else.

After a predetermined time, the problem on exhalation is released, you need to return to it in the next ten minutes allotted for this.

By repeating the exercise day after day, forcing himself to be frightened and frightened, a person gradually accustoms the body to fear and gets rid of it.

With a conscientious attitude to the matter, after a certain number of days, it is surprisingly found that being afraid of the past fear and thinking about it is boring. The problem ceases to be terrifying with catastrophic consequences and is entered in the “resolved” column.

• Feeling anxiety, the first symptoms of growing fear, you need to take a notebook and pencil, write down all obsessive and random thoughts. Try to put the images into words, without analyzing, without filtering, just shorthand your inner state. Do this every time you feel familiar symptoms. Gradually, what is written will cease to carry meaning. Words will seem naive and primitive, “not scary”, and a phrase written down in a notebook a couple of dozen times will no longer be fraught with a threat.
• Inexperienced drivers often experience fear of driving. By writing down on paper what exactly inspires fear, it will be possible to identify the main difficulties and work on them. As experience grows, yesterday's "notes of a young motorist" will cause a smile. Well, if after a few months thoughts about the steering wheel will only provoke panic attacks, then perhaps you should use public transport - this will be the best cure for fear.

In addition to psychological techniques, will help:

• Aromatherapy. The nervous system, heartbeat, breathing will help to normalize the oils of lavender, orange, ylang-ylang, geranium, frankincense, bergamot, tangerine, mint, rose, marjoram;
• Yoga, meditation, autogenic training;
• Physical exercise;
• Mental focus on something very important but unrelated to fear

Alexander Sviyash, the author of almost two dozen books on the topic of a successful and happy life without fears and phobias, offers his own methods. On his website there is a blog in which the author answers questions and gives recommendations.

Fears, phobias, obsessive thoughts poison life, prevent you from enjoying the good that can be found in every day. If you can’t cope with negative thoughts on your own, you should contact a professional.

The biggest obstacle to achieving a goal in life is fear. Learn how to get rid of fear and start living life to the fullest!

What danger is fraught with fear?

We experience fear in different situations, when a husband is away from work for a long time, when the children go on vacation, when there is an important meeting, etc.

However, fear not only causes unpleasant sensations and negative emotions, but also helps to ensure that our experiences are embodied in reality¹.

Fears and worries break through the protective shell - the aura², and we become subject to negative influences from others.

Below you will find an exercise shared by our reader Anna. It allows you to cope with any fears and ensure your own safety.

Before moving on to practice, a person needs to imagine some place where he will be comfortable and calm.

How to get rid of fear? From personal experience...

“I made a turret with an open door for myself. 10 steps down - this is in order to have time to relax. When I go down, I count the steps, starting from the 1st and up to the 10th. There is a closed door in front of me. I open it and immediately see a huge mirror.

Quickly, for a moment, I reproduce the negative in the mirror, immediately the mirror explodes into small pieces, and I draw in my imagination a positive picture - what I need. I look at her for a while, leave, close the door and go up the stairs, counting the steps. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".

Fear Release Technique

So, to get rid of fear, a person needs:

1. Sit down, close your eyes, relax.

2. Then you need to mentally go down the stairs and see the mirror.

3. A negative should be quickly projected in the mirror, and then this mirror should be broken.

4. After that, one should imagine a favorable situation, and mentally observe it for a while.

5. Then you need to climb the steps, counting them in the opposite direction.

This technique can be performed anywhere. After training, it takes only a few minutes. With a certain skill, if it is urgently necessary to get rid of fear, the technique can be carried out in the presence of other people and performed with open eyes.

This powerful method quickly allows you to calm down and tune in to positive events.

Anna Khakimova

Notes and feature articles for a deeper understanding of the material

¹ Read more about how our fears materialize in this article.

Earlier I wrote about fear and phobias in the article "". She wrote that they can be overcome more effectively by contacting a psychologist for help. If you decide to seek the help of a specialist, you can do it right now using.

In this article, I will try to show you the most understandable method that, after a few trainings, will help you overcome your fears and phobias yourself.

The material would be taken from the book by Arnold Lazarus "In the Mind's Eye: Images as a Tool for Psychotherapy".

I really liked how Arnold Lazarus writes about phobias in his book Images as a Means of Psychotherapy. And in his opinion, a phobia is an irrational fear of a non-dangerous object or situation. The word "phobia" comes from the Greek phobos, meaning horror, fear or panic. Phobos- A god from Greek mythology who had the ability to intimidate his enemies. He also writes that if you suffer from a phobia, you usually realize that your fear is ridiculous and unfounded, but unreasonable fear does not go away from this. You understand that your phobia is disproportionately large compared to the real event, but the arguments of the mind do not help, and you almost always try to avoid the object of fear or resort to.

Lazarus also gives an incomplete classification of phobias and claims that many Greek and Latin roots are attached to the word phobia in order to give names to specific fears.

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Here is what he says specifically:

Fear of animals, they say he has zoophobia.

The morbid fear of spiders is called arachnophobia (from the Greek arakhne- "spider"). Fear of heights is an acrophobia.

Aquaphobia is the fear of water.

The fear of lightning is called astraphobia.

The fear of closed spaces is called claustrophobia (from the Latin claustrum, which means "to imprison" or "to imprison").

Many people suffer from agoraphobia (which literally means fear of the marketplace). They are afraid of open spaces, afraid to be alone anywhere or travel without a companion.

Phobias can be generated by so many stimuli (animals, phenomena, things, etc.) The only thing that is discouraging is that there is no consensus on how people acquire fears and phobias. Lazarus writes that some psychologists consider them to be symbolic representations of our internal conflicts. For example, a fear of sharp objects may mask covert aggression. Other psychologists say that phobias are the result of negative associations or conditioning. In other words, Lazarus writes in his book that psychologists believe that certain frightening events can sharpen our sensitivity for a long time. Lazarus gives this example: a person who has sat for several hours in a stuck elevator may develop claustrophobia, and he will avoid not only elevators, but all enclosed spaces. If he is stuck in the elevator of a large department store, he may start avoiding all the big stores. Fear can spread to a wider range of objects, and the person will avoid elevators, department stores, vehicles, crowds, and more. ". It is extremely difficult for a person to find a way out of such situations for himself, because drug therapy is not so effective, because you just drink pills - YOU DO NOTHING WITH YOUR PROBLEM! All you have to do is either live with your phobias or seek psychological help.

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There is an opinion that in order to overcome a phobia, it is necessary to understand its basic mechanisms and understand its dynamics. Maybe so, but this is confusing: many people with a phobia use their phobias in order to get something useful from others - for example, increased attention to themselves.

As Lazarus writes, if you suffer from a phobia and really want to overcome it, the first thing you should do is to carefully and honestly examine the situation and understand what secondary benefits you (or those around you) can derive from your fear. I agree with Lazarus because only when we admit that something is wrong with us and refuse to live the way we used to, can we see new “roads”, “outputs” from our problem. It is very difficult to give up what you live with every day. And it may seem to yourself that it is difficult to do this, in which case you can. Well, in any case, if we want to leave everything as it is, then to cope with it, that is, with a phobia (or with another problem), is extremely (I'm not afraid of this word again) difficult.

What does Lazarus offer to get rid of phobias and fears?

Systematic desensitization

Actually, this method was taught to Lazarus by Dr. Joseph Wolpe, professor of psychiatry, when Arnold Lazarus was in graduate school.
This method of overcoming phobias consists of three distinct stages.

1. You need to relax so that you feel with your whole body that you are at peace. It should be noted that deep muscle relaxation can have a huge effect if practiced regularly and systematically. Unlike hypnosis, this relaxation does not make you dependent, therefore it is more effective. In addition, a person can use the relaxation skill in other difficult situations.
2. You need to understand that the phobia is broken down into its component parts. For example, if you are afraid of a place, the first item on the list of scary situations will most likely be a sign that says "Metro". Then you must imagine that you are very close to this plate. Next, imagine that you are going down directly to the subway, buying a ticket to some station, and going through the turnstile. Finally, you get to the worst - when you need to get into a cramped train car and get to your station.
3. When you learn how to relax properly (and for most people it takes several weeks of daily training), imagine this situation systematically.