Non-verbal signals: types and meaning. Non-verbal communication of a woman

Hello, friends! To tell each other everything without saying a word… Is it possible? It turns out that our views and gestures can be much more eloquent than any phrases. With their help, you can express a good attitude, demonstrate your interest, desire to be together, and even.

But what if you do not understand how to correctly interpret the signs that the interlocutor sends you? Maybe right now you are being desperately signaled about tender feelings, but you do not attach any importance to this, and continue, as if nothing had happened, to discuss the latest news. Or maybe vice versa. They swear eternal love and the most sincere and pure intentions to you, but at the same time they non-verbally broadcast that you are no more interesting than last year's snow.

In order not to miss an important message, it is worth learning more about what constitutes non-verbal communication between a man and a woman. Having mastered its basics, you will not only accurately read the message addressed to you, but you will also be able to express your feelings with the help of gestures, postures and facial expressions. And the world bestseller will help you with this " Sign language in love”, created by wonderful authors Allan and Barbara Pease.

Why do men and women not always understand each other?

Have you ever wondered why the verbal communication of men and women is so different? “She keeps chirping all the time,” the man grumbles. “He never listens to what I tell him,” the woman complains. And such a picture is not uncommon even for couples who have been together for a long time. And what can we say about those who are only looking at each other, thinking about how to take the first step correctly ...

Often, wanting the same thing, a man and a woman talk about it in such a way that they do not understand each other. Why is it so? In fact, the answer lies in the peculiarities of psychology. Representatives of different genders present information differently and interpret what they hear in the same way.

Women are much more in need of communication than the courageous part of humanity. On average, a girl talks one and a half times more, and the process itself is important for her - this is peculiar and negative. Anything can serve as a topic for conversation: today's events, a new dress, an Instagram photo posted by a friend. In addition, women often make decisions by thinking out loud and talking through various options. It is these features that have led to a persistent stereotype of female talkativeness.

But how do men behave? If a guy works in a team or, by virtue of his profession, communicates with clients, this interaction is more than enough for him to satisfy his need for communication. After a hard day, he would rather be silent and listen than actively participate in the conversation.

Unlike beautiful ladies, men almost never enter into a discussion solely for the sake of the process itself. They always have a specific goal - to get important information or to convey it to the interlocutor. Once the goal is achieved, the man no longer sees the point in further discussion of the topic. Also, a rare man will voice his thought process. He would rather think it over and weigh everything carefully, and only then announce his decision.

Agree, there are more than enough differences in the characteristics of male and female communication. Add here, sometimes inherent in representatives of both sexes, understatement or misinterpretation of the words of the interlocutor - there are more than enough reasons to be misunderstood.

Therefore, during a conversation, carefully observe the posture, gestures, intonation and facial expressions of the interlocutor. They will tell you exactly what he is trying to express now, and help you avoid awkward moments and ambiguous understanding of subtle hints.

The non-verbal cues we use the most

The range of non-verbal signals of an adult in love is quite wide. Conventionally, they can be divided into three groups:

views
postures and gestures
touch

Let's consider each group in more detail.

These eyes are opposite

Do you want to understand whether a man really liked you, or does he have an exceptionally friendly disposition towards you? To do this, just look him in the eyes.

If he is interested in you and he plans to move on to decisive action, he will look directly at you, and his gaze will slide from top to bottom. At the same time, his eyes are completely wide open, and the pupils are slightly dilated.

When a man sympathizes with you, but is not yet ready to openly show it, he will look furtively, hastily looking away if you notice his gaze.

But what if the eyes run around and the guy prefers to look anywhere, just not to meet your eyes? If, while talking with you, he constantly looks at the phone, at the clock, out the window, or studies the patterns on the wallpaper, this indicates.

A calm, slightly defocused look, as if looking through you, indicates that he is frankly bored in your company. If the interlocutor is dear to you, try to change the topic of conversation or tactics of behavior.

Women use the same signals to express hidden sympathy, but they can also play a more subtle game. So, for example, a girl who is already experienced in matters of flirting can literally bewitch a man with just one look.

To do this, it is enough to carefully and slightly languidly look directly at him, and when he notices this, instantly look away, as if embarrassed. After that, you need to make a control shot: a few short quick glances, in which a smile and slyness are clearly read - and the man will definitely come up to you to get acquainted and start a conversation.

Pick a comfortable position...

And if without jokes, then the poses and gestures, which, as you think, are completely arbitrary, are actually of great importance and very eloquently indicate the attitude of the interlocutor towards your person. And you also clearly demonstrate your disposition or indifference to him, even if you yourself do not notice it.

Have you ever watched the mating games of representatives of the animal world? If so, then you probably remember how the male tries to show himself in all its glory, the female that you barely like is in sight. People behave in exactly the same way, of course, adjusted for the intellect and moral and ethical standards of society.

In the company of a girl he likes, any man involuntarily draws himself up: tightens his stomach, sticks out his chest, straightens his shoulders. In addition, the guy begins to show a sudden preoccupation with appearance: smoothing his hair, adjusting his tie knot and trouser belt, brushing invisible dust from his clothes. In a word, he tries to make the best impression.

Not sure if all these manipulations are for you? Look at his feet. It doesn't matter if a man is facing you or sideways - if he likes you, he subconsciously points his socks in your direction.

Women, among other things, try to sit in such a way that they can cross their legs and demonstrate chiseled knees and a graceful curve of the hip. But make no mistake: if at the same time the girl crosses her arms and looks not at you, but past, then this is a clear sign that she is indifferent to you and least of all she wants to communicate with you.

After the first contact is established, the second stage begins, during which potential partners demonstrate their favor to each other in every possible way. And here, not only postures and gestures are used, but also other signals aimed at winning the interlocutor.

Minimum distance. Usually we do not allow strangers into our own and stop strangers from approaching closer than half a meter. If the interlocutor tries to become or sit closer to you, this is a clear sign that you are interesting to him and he is trying in every possible way to stand out and attract attention to himself.

Voice timbre and loudness. During a conversation with a person you like, you involuntarily start talking louder than usual. At the same time, the timbre of the voice also changes - deep vibrating notes appear in it. Also, interlocutors often begin to laugh, even if the jokes are not the most sparkling.

Beautiful pose. This is one of the main signs that your interlocutor is ready to flirt. Girls try to take an elegant pose that allows them to demonstrate all the advantages of the figure from the most favorable angle. In addition, they try in every possible way to draw attention to the wrists: they stroke their hand, adjust their watch or bracelet. Men, on the other hand, take either the pose of a movie character - slightly spread their legs and place their hands in the area of \u200b\u200bthe belt, or casually lean back in their chair, demonstrating relaxation and self-confidence.

Let me touch you

At the first stages, the interlocutors only exchange glances and express their interest with the help of gestures and postures. If the casting is successful and the object of desire makes it clear that he also does not mind continuing the acquaintance, tactile contact is established. Of course, this does not mean that they will immediately rush to you to strangle you in their arms - it all starts with light, barely noticeable touches.

The first touches usually look like it happened completely unintentionally. The interlocutor, as if carried away by the conversation, casually touches you with his elbow, shoulder or knee. If this does not cause a negative reaction, the next touches will be more bold. When you allow your hand to be touched, your hair or clothes to be adjusted, you thereby make it clear to the interlocutor that you do not mind establishing closer contact with him.

Sometimes the person you like doesn't have the courage to touch you first. You will understand that he really wants to touch you when you notice that during a conversation he unconsciously strokes his hand or some object lying nearby.

If you yourself would like to take your communication to the next level, take the initiative and touch your fingertips to the interlocutor's hand. This can be done during a conversation, as if wanting to emphasize the importance of a thought, or by passing on an object to him.

Now you know how much you can say about your feelings and intentions using only body language. Of course, it will take a little practice before you can accurately read non-verbal messages. But then any interlocutor will be an open book for you. Write in the comments, have you ever had to predict someone's intentions based on non-verbal signals?

Assures that women are better than men, aware of the interpretation of non-verbal information.

Non-verbal communication is everything except written and spoken words. People are always in communication - even silence sends a certain message to others. An interesting observation was made by Mehrabyan, a professor at the University of California, Los Angeles. In his study, he found that when verbal and non-verbal information were conflicting, 55 percent of study participants perceived information from facial expressions and body movement, 38 percent from vocal cues such as pauses and tone of voice, and only 7 percent of study participants perceived information conveyed by spoken words. This finding means that over 90 percent of our information comes from people's non-verbal behavior. Non-verbal information is conveyed through speech cues, use of space and distance, touch, color, clothing, and artifacts.

Nonverbal communication includes, but is not limited to:
sensory sensations;
visual perception;
Timbre, pitch, voice volume;
Use of personal space;
Gestures;

Pauses, silence;
Intonation;
Clothing and general appearance;
Posture;
Smile.

Women and men tend to use non-verbal behavior differently. For example, women tend to be more expressive when communicating; they use facial expressions and gestures more often than men when communicating. Women smile more often than men. Women smile so often that it can be difficult to know when a smile conveys happiness, positive emotions, or means embarrassment, anger, sadness, thoughtfulness, and so on.

Men tend to smile only when they are happy or have heard something funny. Unlike women, men's smiles tend to match their feelings of happiness. Because men do not smile as often as women and are not as expressive in their gestures and facial expressions, some perceive men as insensitive, or perceive them as cold and indifferent.

Women who do not smile and look directly at the speaker may be perceived as upset, indifferent, or arrogant. Men who smile often (more than when they are just happy) and look at the speaker may be perceived as a suspicious person or a troublemaker.
Women are more skilled than men at deciphering non-verbal information. The notion that women are more intuitive than men may be due to the fact that women hear verbal information and at the same time perceive non-verbal information subtly.
Women interpret both sources of messages, verbal and non-verbal information, in determining the meaning of the message as a whole. Men tend to focus on the words and only take in content from the messages they hear.

Some of the psychologists say that people of lower status generally need to be adept at reading messages from every source (both verbal and non-verbal) in order to get a fuller message. When a person is of low status, then he wants to get as much information as possible from a person of higher status in order to respond appropriately. High-status people generally do not need to pay attention to all channels of communication from a subordinate or lower-status interlocutor; it is enough for them to hear the words as the only message. However, for those of lower status, reading non-verbal information increases their survival and ability to succeed.

Have a nice day, dear readers of my blog! Much more often it happens that we pay more attention to the gestures, facial expressions and posture of a person than to his words, because they are genuine, they are difficult to fake.

We read this information much more often unconsciously, I spoke about the main points in my blog “What is non-verbal communication and how to identify the emotional state of a person”. But now I decided to go a little deeper into the topic, and give you an article about how it happens and what it is, non-verbal communication between a woman and a man.

Relationships are a very complex thing, and sometimes it is extremely important to understand its nuances. In addition, this information will be needed on a date, since the first impression settles very deeply in perception, and it is very difficult to change it later.

Table of differences

It is well known that men and women are very different. They accept data in different ways, they have different needs, outlook on life, thinking, gestures and facial expressions. Let's take a closer look at this difference in the table:

No. Spheres. Woman. Man

1. Communication. The need is one and a half times higher. Since childhood, this feature has already manifested itself. It satisfies the need already at work, on the basis of this, when getting home, it prefers to be silent, thereby resting.

2. Purpose. The process itself is important. The desire to achieve the result

3. Topic of conversation. Failures, new clothes and stories about others. Work, your luck, sports

4. Reflections. Most often out loud, it’s easier to decide or realize something. To yourself, expressing only the end result of your thoughts

5. Ability to interrupt. Rarely, but if this happens, it returns to the starting point at which it interrupted. Twice as often

6. Listening process

7. Facial expressions. Rich and easier to recognize. During a conversation, they observe the interlocutor in the eyes. They look to the side, it is easiest to identify a feeling of grief or sadness

8. Lie. Able to easily fool, and reveal untruth due to her sensitivity and ability to subconsciously notice the discrepancy between words and non-verbal indicators. They lie unnaturally, it succeeds for the most part when the lady is ready to be fooled.

9. Criticality. More critical of themselves, their position in society and appearance. Critical of others, especially their interlocutors

Man's manifestations

If the young man wants to please, or shows interest, he straightens his shoulders, draws in his belly and raises his head. May begin to unconsciously put himself in order by fixing his hair or shirt collar. In an ergonomic case, he is looking for an opportunity to be closer, and in a huge company, the socks of his shoes will be turned towards you. Can somehow accidentally touch you, your hair or hand.
Finding love isn't hard. It is worth taking a closer look at his pupils in a room where there is natural light, if they are dilated, you were able to conquer him. Gaze periodically takes away, while you look at it. It is only fundamentally important to catch the difference between desire and boredom to hide your emotions towards you. At a meeting, he can slightly perceptibly slightly raise one or both eyebrows up.
If, when communicating with you, he spreads his legs widely, unbuttons the top button of his shirt, glides over the figure and gazes intently at the lips, then this signals an increased interest in you, only of a sexual nature.
Think about what mistake you made if the man next to you starts to yawn, invite more interlocutors to the conversation, periodically looks at his watch, phone. A defocused gaze, toes of shoes turned towards the exit, fidgeting in a chair or nervous tapping of fingers on the table are signals that he can no longer wait to leave your company.

Manifestations in a lady

The indicators of sympathy are more pronounced - in addition to dilated pupils, girls often have reddened cheeks, they hold their eyes on the interlocutor they like for a longer time, they will be able to lick their lips, preen, make reservations in a conversation. The mood rises, sometimes they also laugh at bad jokes, can copy the pose, fully unconsciously, although being “on the same wavelength”. She crosses her legs so that you can evaluate her thigh, if you are sitting next to her - she can touch her shoulder, as if by chance. If the socks are turned towards you, but now he is flirting with another young man - it is fully possible that he wants to make you jealous, or check the reaction, how you liked it.
At a time when there is sexual interest, a woman casually, at the slightest opportunity, examines the figure of a young man. It can do it defiantly, but for some reason, quite often this look remains unrecognized.
The indicator that your communication is not at all exciting for her or is already rather tired is the same as that of the guys. A woman will show interest in everything, but not in you, she can yawn, cover her mouth with her palm, as if propping up her chin and cheek. If, in aggregate, to all indicators, her posture is completely closed, with crossed arms or legs, then now nothing good will come of it.

The crucial moment is that most of the indicators must be located at one moment, otherwise, it is entirely possible that the interest will turn out to be false, or not directed at you. There are times when a girl's eyes are burning, there is a joyful smile and pupils are dilated only due to the fact that almost relatively recently she had a meeting with another person.

In a conversation, try to start from the main point, and later move on to the details, due to the fact that you have the full ability to lead to irritation with a long story. The guy’s type of thinking is such that when he hears about a problem, he immediately needs to look for a solution to it, while sometimes it’s enough for a girl.
Walk towards or go side by side with a straight back and a slightly raised head, just do not overdo it so that he does not consider you arrogant and proud. Movements should be free, uninhibited, under such conditions you will give the impression of a self-confident lady.
Demonstrate that you have developed sympathy, probably through a non-verbal invitation to your personal space - move closer to him, reducing the distance between you, lightly touch in conversation with your shoulder or fingertips, and tilt your body closer to him, this will create a feeling of closeness.
Repeat his posture, only not quite often, not defiantly, but by chance, thereby creating an environment for trust. Sometimes fix your hair, and smile honestly. How to do this, you have the opportunity to read in the article "The most entertaining features of non-verbal communication between people."
Try to be natural, you should not apply all the methods of seduction at once, otherwise it can cause completely opposite emotions in the interlocutor.
At the time when you want to express your point of view, then start with the phrase "I think", instead of using "I feel", this will give more weight to the words, then you will be listened to. Since, as we know, the not strong good half of humanity is distinguished by its emotionality, the tendency to make decisions under the influence of emotions, relying on intuition, while the strong good half is guided by logic.

If you start to smile often - you have the opportunity to be perceived suspiciously, on the basis of this, as for the opposite sex - it is fundamentally important to be able to laugh honestly. If you don’t forget, the psychology of the non-stronger sex is such that they easily read non-verbal data, this skill is laid down by nature, so that the mother has the opportunity to recognize the needs of her baby. Based on this, the most basic advice is to be sincere.
When communicating, show as many open gestures as possible, which indicate a willingness to be honest and open. For example, do not hide your palms, do not cross your legs ...
You should not focus on other girls, otherwise the interlocutor will catch your eye, which will not at all affect the relationship favorably.
There is such a gesture that shows your self-confidence and inner strength, it is called the "pyramid", this is at the time when the tips of the fingers and palms are connected together. So, if you want to conquer the interlocutor and not betray your excitement, use it throughout the meetings.
In order to arrange more for intimate relationships, you have the opportunity to use this technique: put your index finger on your lower lip, hold it for a few seconds, then tap your lip lightly several times and remove it. This will fix the message and desire to move to a new level in the girl's subconscious.
Listen intently, try not to interrupt, easily leaning forward with your body, demonstrating your interest.
You have the opportunity to put huge fingers behind the belt, and suddenly you are sitting - keep your hands on your hips, or stretch your legs forward, this will create a feeling of your location in relation to the girl, and a manifestation of love and a demonstration of masculinity.

Conclusion

That's all, dear readers, be more attentive to your interlocutors, apply the above tips. Then you can easily determine whether your chosen one, or the chosen one, or interest adores you. For a more detailed study of the nuances of non-verbal communication, I advise you to read my article, in which I outlined a list of literature, thanks to which you can find answers to your questions: "TOP 10 best books on non-verbal communication worth reading."

Sometimes the words of people do not correspond to their true beliefs and intentions. To figure out what your interlocutor is really thinking about, non-verbal gestures will help. Be a little more careful while communicating. This will allow you to get much more information than your opponent would like to convey.

Is it true?

Many people are skeptical about such an issue as Gestures, facial expressions are perceived as something natural and mechanical. But precisely given this fact, we can talk about the objectivity of the non-verbal mechanism. Psychologists have devoted many scientific works to this issue. But if for skeptics this is not an argument, it is enough to conduct an independent observation. So, for example, having learned to decipher the thoughts and feelings of your relatives and friends, later you will be able to see through outsiders.

Of course, do not forget that there are exceptions to the rules. So, a person can take this or that position simply by force of habit. In addition, it cannot be ruled out that he does not feel well or that he is wearing uncomfortable clothes. Temperature can have a significant effect on human behavior. Thus, the role of non-verbal communication should not be underestimated. Nevertheless, before drawing final conclusions, it is worth carefully analyzing the conditions in which the conversation takes place.

What do the hands in the pockets say

It is not uncommon to notice how a person keeps his hands in his pockets during a conversation. Someone considers this a manifestation of bad manners. Also, do not reject the likelihood that a person simply froze, being in uncomfortable temperature conditions. However, if we consider non-verbal, we can come to the following conclusions:

Hands hidden in pockets may be evidence of intense concentration. A person in a similar position can think about something or build a plan of action. At the same time, it can sway slightly or roll from heel to toe.
Another interpretation of this gesture - So, for example, at long meetings or social events, people often walk with their hands in their pockets, because you can’t leave the event, but nothing interesting happens on it. Thus, if your interlocutor has adopted a similar pose, it may be worth ending the conversation or moving it to a more exciting channel.
If not the listener, but the speaker hid his hands in his pockets, this may indicate his insincerity. Usually, it is the hands that give out lies, and therefore the person instinctively hides them so that you do not guess his intentions.
Alternatively, hands in pockets may indicate a passive position of your interlocutor. He is most likely not interested or unwilling to do what you tell him to do. But the result, of course, will depend only on the level of your authority.
If we consider the non-verbal gestures of men, then in communication with the ladies, hands hidden in the pocket of trousers (namely trousers!) Talk about sympathy and sexual desire. But communicating with representatives of the same sex, they thus demonstrate power and independence.

Demonstration of superiority

Knowing non-verbal gestures, you can make your life much easier, because they can be used to understand the true intentions and attitude of the interlocutor towards you. So, for example, if someone is trying to demonstrate self-confidence, as well as superiority and power over you, this can be understood by the following signs:

The person puts his hands behind his back, sticking his chest forward. Thus, he tries to show his fearlessness.
Hands casually lowered into pockets, and the body is imposingly relaxed. Thus, a person is trying to show that you are indifferent to him and uninteresting.
Sometimes a bossy person can take a defensive stance with their arms crossed over their chest and thumbs outstretched. The latter means that although he is trying to defend himself, he feels superior to you.

Haptic interaction

Considering non-verbal gestures, it is worth paying special attention to tactile interaction with the interlocutor. So, we can talk about the following:

If you hug when meeting a friend or relative, a short contact should be taken as nothing more than a tribute to decency.
A strong hug means that the person is bored and is sincerely glad to see you. However, if the impact is too strong and you are literally suffocated by it, it is possible that the person is just trying to play the joy of meeting you.
If during a hug a person treats you in awe, and you feel comfortable, this indicates a respectful attitude towards you.
If at a meeting a person is the first to open his hand for a handshake, this indicates his boundless trust in you.
If during a handshake a person does not take the palm, but closer to the wrist, this indicates his suspicious mood. This is how in the days of the Roman Empire they checked if the interlocutor had a dagger in the sleeve.
If a person gives you a firm handshake or grabs your hand with both hands, shaking vigorously (perhaps even causing you discomfort), this only indicates his sincere joy at meeting you.
If during the handshake you feel that the hand of your interlocutor is sluggish, then productive communication will not work, because he is not set up to contact you.
If a person is palm down, he subconsciously seeks to dominate you.
A pat on the shoulder means a friendly attitude. In addition, this gesture demonstrates the strength of the interlocutor and his willingness to help.
Be attentive to people who grab your elbow during a conversation. Feeling your distrust, they similarly try to win you over and even suggest that he can become a reliable friend for you. But this gesture is not always sincere, because such a psychological technique is often used by people with selfish intentions.

How to recognize affection

One of the main problems in relationships between opposite sexes is distrust. Sometimes non-verbal communication can tell more than words. Gestures that indicate sympathy are as follows:

- it's not a myth. A person experiencing sympathy really looks a little differently, and the cornea becomes more hydrated. In addition, the pupils will be somewhat dilated.
A man in love on a subconscious level tries to please. Thus, when meeting, he performs various manipulations with his appearance: straightens his back, draws in his stomach, straightens his hair.
Both men and women are trying to draw attention to external sexual characteristics. This may be laying fingers behind the belt of trousers, legs wide apart, the top button of a shirt unbuttoned.
Active gestures (sometimes inappropriate) can also serve as a sign of sympathy. The fact is that a man in love often loses control over his actions.
You can judge the intentions of the interlocutor by the direction of his gaze. If he keeps eye contact, there is reason to believe that he is interested in you as a person. And the look running over the body speaks nothing more than sexual desire.
If an interlocutor of the opposite sex is constantly trying to get closer or, under any pretext, to touch you, there is no doubt in his sympathy.

Lack of interest

Sometimes a person continues the story, not suspecting that the interlocutor is absolutely uninteresting. Non-verbal communication will come to the rescue. Gestures indicating indifference are as follows:

If your interlocutor is on his chest, he instinctively closes himself from you. You are either indifferent to him or unpleasant.
Pay attention to where the gaze of the interlocutor is directed. If he looks anywhere but in your direction, then you should end the conversation.
If a person wants to end the conversation and leave, his constant glance at his watch will give him away. Also, the toes of his shoes may point towards the door.

Features of facial expressions

Much can be said about a person and his mood, his facial expressions. Non-verbal gestures reflected on the face may indicate the following:

narrowed eyes and pursed lips indicate an angry mood;
raised eyebrows and wide-open eyes mean surprise;
in a state of fear, the lips are widely stretched, and their corners are lowered down;
happiness is characterized by a calm look and slightly raised corners of the mouth;
a sad person draws his eyebrows together and lowers the corners of his lips.

Voice intonation

The main ways of transmitting information are verbal. Non-verbal gestures can demonstrate what the interlocutor is trying to hide. No less informative may be intonation, which can tell about the following:

fast and confused speech in low tones indicates strong excitement;
confident and loud conversation indicates active enthusiasm;
if a person speaks sluggishly, lowering his tone towards the end of the phrase, we are talking about fatigue;
measured and slow speech, which is characterized by a constant tone, testifies to the arrogance of the interlocutor;
constant pauses in speech, unintentional mistakes indicate nervousness and self-doubt.

Signs of a lie

Knowing the meaning of non-verbal gestures, you can recognize the lies of the interlocutors. So, you should pay attention to the following points:

a long pause before the beginning of a phrase or frequent pauses;
asymmetry in the work of facial muscles;
facial expression does not change for more than 10 seconds;
emotions arise late and do not correspond to the content of speech;
a forced smile that creates not a curved, but a narrow lip line;
lack of visual contact;
manipulation of hands and feet (tapping, twitching), as well as biting the lips;
attempts to keep gestures under control;
heavy breathing and a constant increase in the tone of the voice;
a closed posture with crossed arms and legs, as well as a hunched back;
rubbing of the nose or eyelid (it can be automatic and barely noticeable);
(in terms of gestures and facial expressions) more active than the left;
exaggerated emotions and gestures;
frequent blinking.

Distance

Considering the non-verbal means of gestures, one cannot fail to say about the distance that is maintained between people in certain conditions. Thus, the following indicators are generally accepted:

up to half a meter - this is an intimate distance between close people who are in a trusting relationship;
from 0.5 to 1.5 m - this is the interpersonal distance for friendly communication;
1.5-3.5 m - social distance, which is comfortable for interaction between unfamiliar people, as well as on business issues;
3.7 m is the public distance from which a performance is performed in front of a large audience.

Good to know for everyone

Max Egger has an invaluable merit in the study of such an issue as non-verbal means of gestures. He developed a system of 75 signals, the main of which can be considered the following:

the movement of the Adam's apple indicates the excitement of the interlocutor or that he is telling a lie;
if the hands are in contact with any object, this indicates uncertainty;
if a person strokes his chin, he is considering the proposal;
biting a finger, pencil or glasses means that a person is evaluating you;
stroking the back of the neck means anger or a sense of threat from you;
if a person rubs his palms, he expects to receive benefits;
if the toes of the feet are spread apart, the person feels superior to you.

Conclusion

If you want to know more than you're told, it's worth learning sign language. Non-verbal communication is difficult to control, and therefore it can be considered the most objective. Nevertheless, you should never forget that certain gestures can be associated with well-being or external influences.

When I first started dating girls, every time I heard the answer: "I'm busy today" or "I have another boyfriend", I could not understand what was going on. Do not repeat my mistakes - take them into account and achieve the woman you want! I attributed my failures to my shortcomings as a student.

But damn it, how wrong I was! Over and over again, I approached women in the subway, on the street, in the train and at the institute, received refusals and made many women fall in love with me, but most importantly, I drew conclusions. Do not miss the opportunity at the first meeting to make not just a good impression, but to make a woman think about you in her free time. After all, you will no longer have a second acquaintance, and it depends on the first impression whether a woman will accept an invitation to a first date and with what mood she will come to him.

When you first talk to a woman, the biggest role is played not by your appearance, not even words, but by how you say them, what emotions are on your face, what kind of gait, posture, intonation you have. This adds up to male confidence and strength, which is estimated by a woman by your non-verbal communication with her. And if dry information is transmitted with the help of words, then the non-verbal channel is completely devoted to personal relationships.

Remember: you are born a man, and she is a woman. It is inherent in nature that you enjoy what you take, set your own rules, and nature because it obeys and enters the world you have built. If you want to enjoy life: the smiles of pretty strangers, the sympathy, affection and care of the women around you - behave confidently with them. A woman has an inner ability to feel a man's self-doubt after the first look at him, after his first words. This feeling is called the mysterious female intuition, but it is simply a highly developed ability to compare the meaning of spoken words with the nonverbals produced.

Soberly assess the woman who attracted your attention and draw simple conclusions: what can she do, what is her mood, tired or full of energy, good or bad taste, etc. Try to find as much information as possible, and draw conclusions, but do not think for a long time. Otherwise, you will constantly miss one opportunity after another, and after that endlessly exhaust yourself with meaningless excuses: “She doesn’t suit me,” “Today is not my day, I’ll meet you tomorrow,” “It’s a pity to waste energy, because I’m very tired at work,” etc. .d. Look at what position she is in, what movements she has (smooth, sharp), facial expression.

These are not complicated things at all, everyone knows and sees them. She looks at one point, does not react to the people around her - she is tired. Runs his eyes around - misses. Concentrated stands - immersed in herself, walks quickly - in a hurry, it will be difficult to attract her attention. If a girl is waiting for someone, then the main conclusion for you will be the answer to the question: a man or a friend-girlfriend. If she is tense and focused, combed, made up and light, then feel free to conclude that she came on a date, and her boyfriend is about to come up. And vice versa, if she is disheveled, with a large package, and there is lack of assembly in her movements, then feel free to go get acquainted - she just came to meet her friend.

A man chooses a woman from the crowd only according to external data and hopes that she will be just as beautiful in communication. And I myself was pierced on this: the woman turned out to be completely different from what I imagined. To avoid this, choose a woman not only for beauty, but also for her behavior, mannerisms, gait, gaze, so that her non-verbalism reflects yours as much as possible. Then it is highly likely that your goals and interests will coincide, which means that there will already be a platform for communication.

She walks energetically with her head held high in the crowd, and you love to walk like that - it's yours. She carefully studies the surrounding space and people, smiles at interesting things, just like you - this is yours. She reads a book and you like to read - it's yours. She smiles at you, and you smile at her - why aren't you together yet?

Each new woman, when I got to know her better, only confirmed the truth to me: body language never deceives, unlike appearance and words.

Look a little over her and let her notice your gaze. The fact that she looks away, immediately after your eyes touch, says: she saw a man in you and acted like a woman. And then look carefully. If she steals a glance at you again, then outwardly she likes you. It's just the way a woman is. By the way, this is why it is difficult to catch a woman's smile on the subway escalator - after all, even if a woman likes you, she will look up at you later, when you can no longer see him! I trust my instincts and if I notice that a woman likes me, I approach without hesitation.

You can trace it with your eyes: from head to toe. By doing this, you will make it clear in body language that you are interested in her as a woman. Women are generally very interested in relationships and recognize such views the first time. After that, without delay, go to meet her. Because experience confirms the undeniable truth: if you wait a long time for the right moment, then inevitably a woman will stand up in front of him and leave or those whom she was waiting for will come - acquaintance with her will become physically impossible. And you will be left alone with regrets about failed relationships and shame for your indecision.

Approach with a smile - the most effective way to get sympathy in return. Look at the woman, not away when you speak. Otherwise, it will give away your insecurity. I tried to evoke positive emotions in myself, they help fight anxiety. The smile can be different, so at home, smile in advance in the mirror and see yourself with female eyes. If you don't like your smile, change it. For example, stop opening your mouth too much and showing your teeth.

Choose your cutest smile and remember how it turns out. It is good to get acquainted with any women in any place with humor, a smile disposes a person to himself and gives the maximum guarantee that even in case of failure he will be polite with you. Train yourself to treat meeting a woman like a game in which you are a pro. After all, when we play, we ourselves do not notice our naturalness. And naturalness inspires confidence. I had the feeling that I was playing a game with a woman in which I myself set the rules, not soon. It grew along with the number of women in my life. And even if a woman did not like me at first, then I made her enjoy flirting with me, and this greatly disposed her to me. Flirt to the fullest, even where there is no game. This will give a chance to draw a woman into flirting. They are very fond of flirting, they are professionals in this thing and get a lot of positive emotions from it.

Pay close attention to her reaction. Learn to recognize hidden interest, embarrassment, self-absorption and other states of women. Of course, each person has their own and was formed under the pressure of external circumstances, but still there are common features.

Here are the main signs of reciprocal interest:

Your glances often meet;
- quick glances in your direction furtively;
- when you do not see, an attentive evaluating look;
- correction of hairstyles, clothes or handbags;
- tries to stand with his face and whole body towards you;
- smiles at you, laughs at your jokes;
- listens carefully to you;
- slightly tense posture;
- if you walk nearby, it adjusts to your pace.

The girl is not disposed to acquaintance:

Turns the body away from you;
- constantly looks away from you (can openly turn away) with an indifferent expression on his face.

I'm not talking about such frank gestures as deliberately not answering, getting up and leaving.

Your voice should be legible and natural, but most importantly - self-confident. Record the first phrase for dating on a voice recorder and listen to what the woman hears. Then you will understand: the voice is your strong or weak side.

When you approach a woman, try to assume the same posture as her. Pick up the distance at which you stand, so as not to scare her. We let people who are nice to us close enough to us, and the more intimate the relationship between a man and a woman, the less distance there will be between them when communicating. But you can also go from the opposite: if a woman lets you into her personal zone, then her subconscious will perceive you as a close person. According to science, this distance does not exceed an outstretched arm, but you can get closer, because for each person it is different.

But once again I repeat: carefully monitor the reaction to your actions, do not overdo it. Because protecting your personal areas is one of the main principles of wordless communication. And women are very sensitive to the fact that an unfamiliar man approaches her too close when talking. From experience, the personal zone is an oval, so you can approach a woman closer to the side than from the back or front without the risk of violating the personal zone.

If you feel that the ice between you is melting, then feel free to start invading the woman’s personal zone. In order for a personal relationship to start between you, so that she perceives you as a man, this must be done first of all: move closer to her, give her a hand, brush off the mote from your shoulder, try to touch her once again, hug, etc.

Watch the response to your every word or action and immediately make adjustments to your behavior.

If I have little time, then at the peak of her interest in me, I said: “Unfortunately, it’s time for me to go, because I have to finish the things I was doing. But I really want to see you again in order to continue our communication. Leave me your phone..." Say all this with a sweet smile and playful mood.