Unfinished business. How to Get Things Done and Eliminate Chaos in Your Life - The Psychology of Effective Living - Online Magazine

Unfinished business piles up, accumulates, clutters up our house, our work, our head. They are spinning, spinning, spinning in the head, taking up space, taking it instead of something new. They gnaw at our brain and prevent us from focusing on what needs to be done now.

Time itself is working against you. Once it all started with a small pile, but over time it grew and turned into a huge mountain.

These unfinished business seem difficult, and would be much easier if you dealt with them as soon as they first appeared. And now they have become a real problem.

What to do?

What if you complete them? To finish. Make room, both literally and figuratively. Clear your desktop of junk, free your head, free your time.

If only it were that easy! It takes time and effort to finish all these unfinished business. And they are not enough for new and important ones. The question is where to get the time and energy to finish the old ones and focus on the new ones?

Finishing unfinished business takes time and effort. And where can I get them if all the strength is sucked out of you by unfinished business?

Plus, some things are simply impossible to finish - they hung in limbo, and hang. And press, press, press...

And some again and again climb into our heads. Sometimes you do something important - and you catch yourself thinking about something completely different at the same time. Not important, but offensive! Or sad. It is clear that you need to put it out of your head, but it does not work!

Here's how to deal with it?

Need a good method - how to get things done

Such that:

• did not require too much time and effort. Simple.
• I would work for cases that are now impossible to complete.
• helped to get out of my head those things that climb into my head again and again, and do not turn off.

And there is such a way!

I use it - and it does a great job with a variety of things. Helps to get rid of the accumulated cases, papers and all that.

Finishing unfinished business method

Any unfinished business can be completed. Mentally put a tick -!

3 steps to complete the case:

1. The main thing is the result in one sentence.
2. Assess the pros and cons.
3. What's next - 3 options:

1) The case is over;
2) This stage is over, but the work itself needs to be continued;
3) This option does not work. We exchange for another or refuse altogether.

Now let's look at each point in more detail.

1. The main thing is the result in one sentence. Examples:

• It is done. It worked out great.
• thank god it's over. Fine! Throw away and forget like a bad dream.
• well advanced. We continue.
• I'm behind. We must add.
• no stone flower comes out! We need to change something.

2. Results - pros and cons.

• I usually write down 3 pros and cons. Sometimes it turns out more.
• Even if the case ended unsuccessfully, there are always things that you did well, or at least not badly. They should be written down so that they can be repeated in the future.
• And even if the case ended perfectly, there is always something that went wrong, or should have been done differently. Write them down so you don't repeat them in the future.

• All done, case closed. Let's go note.
• That's it, this stage is over. The next step is to get back to business in a week (or in a month, or in six months, etc.). Add to the calendar, and put a tick "done".
• This option doesn't work as expected. We change to another. We took into account the pros and cons, now we are turning around and moving in a new direction.

If it's done, then it's easy. But what if there is no end in sight and things are going wrong? Again, there may be several options.

• We just give up.
  - For example, postpone for a while. Return again - in three months (write in the calendar).
  - in three months it may turn out that the matter was resolved by itself. Or that everything is easier for you now. Or that you need to change course of action.
  - for now - it's over. You can get it out of your head. When the time comes, come back.
• Another option is that it doesn't work. But we must continue.
  You can change course. For example, start exercising every day for 2-3 hours. Change teacher. Or brainstorm and find the right solution.

In fact, there are a lot of options. What's important?

With the Completion of Unfinished Business method, you tell yourself and your brain that this is now finished. If necessary, I will return to him (in 12 days. Or in 4 hours). But now - this place is free.

So you free up space, time and energy for new things. And you can do them calmly and with concentration, without being distracted. Without thinking, “Oh, that’s not how I answered him! I should have said it like this!"

Here, for example, is my recording of the "End" of an unpleasant conversation

1) The main thing- you made it!

2) Outcome evaluation:
Pros:
- Done - calmly and without fuss.
- Instead of long disputes - everything was done in 1 day.
- Most of all, a clear wording helped - what exactly do you want, and what kind of compromise is possible.

Minuses:
1) You are overreacting.
2) At first I almost fell into hysterics. Only then did I begin to think and formulate.
3) The main disadvantage is that it was difficult for you to remain calm. What can you say? Train.

Similarly, the Completion method can be applied to any task that you need to complete. Decide on; to redesign the site, which was postponed for several months; resolve the issue with the insurance company; start or finish repairs; sort out the deposits of papers and finally put all the important documents in one place, etc.

As you begin to complete those things that hang over your soul, you will notice something important:

• When you complete a few somewhat unfinished business, you will feel a huge relief. As if a place in life was freed up. For something new.
• It turns out that many things that have bothered you for a long time can be completed easier and easier than you thought. We were just afraid to start, and when we started, we just had to finish it.

The “Finishing Things” method does not require you to do too much. You can use it the way it is described. You can change it the way you like. Small matter:

Choose one unfinished business. Something simple and uncomplicated is best. Complete it. Then select the next one, and so on.

Try it and make room in your life for something new and interesting.

Many things - important and not very important, voluminous and small - we put off on the back burner, until better times, in short - for later. These things do not go “into oblivion”, they accumulate somewhere and imperceptibly spoil our lives.

If you do not have the habit of not procrastinating, but doing it right away (Rule 72), then sooner or later there will come a moment when the reservoir of unfinished business overflows. And then…

First of all, unfinished business and unfulfilled plans undermine self-confidence. Under the influence of an ineffective past, we form a corresponding self-esteem. And self-confidence is a very important quality on which the future literally depends.

Secondly, a wide variety of unfinished (and not even started) cases on a subconscious level undermine inner harmony, create emotional stress that leads to stress or depression.

Personally, I get a spasm in my throat if I do not cope with what I have in mind. This is how my body reacts to internal stress.

And thirdly, a critical mass of unfinished business does not allow us to move on, does not allow us to see the opportunities around us and use them. In our subconscious, the idea is firmly fixed that we already have a lot to do, there is no need to agree to some new proposals or look for something new.

Bottom line: get rid of unfinished business.

This can be done according to the following scheme (this method was advised by psychologists):

1. Write a list of your unfinished business. Devote enough time to this activity to realize and remember them all. For example, hour.

Write down everything you do, big and small. Some of them would take as little as 5 minutes, but we procrastinate even such things because of the habit of postponing everything that is not urgent.

2. Some of the unfinished cases have already lost their relevance. You need to say goodbye to them, free your mind from them. You can make a small rite of farewell to your failed plan. For example, write it on a piece of paper, make a paper airplane out of it and release it out the window.

3. Things that have not lost their relevance need to be done as quickly as possible. Plan it. Devote one day to activities that take less than 15 minutes. For example, nail a baseboard or hanger, make an unpleasant call, report something, and others.

You will see how much easier it will be for you after this!

Bigger cases will take more time, but you will need to deal with them. In order not to let it all go by itself, ask for help from a loved one - let him help you control the phased implementation of these cases.

And there is no need to store unfinished business in the future.

It will be great if you get into the habit of giving everything at once, “on the spot” 🙂

And let your life be dynamic, interesting and effective!

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Many of us have experienced a feeling of a kind of “inertia” that comes at the most inopportune moment.

It seems to be the perfect moment to join a new promising project. Or suddenly there is an opportunity to do an interesting and profitable business, but, unfortunately, the forces go somewhere, and you don’t want to do anything.

Psychologists are sure that in a similar negative way a person is influencedunfinished business.

How can you get rid of this heavy burden? Gestalt therapy answers this question well.

How harmful is it to "pull the cat by the tail"

In order for a modern person to understand what is happening in his head, we can draw an analogy with our everyday assistants - computers. Let's imagine that our nerve centers are an operating system. A computer can have as many built-in storage media as you want, on which it is possible to store a huge amount of data. But at the same time, the computer's RAM is always limited. You have probably noticed that several applications running at the same time cause the computer to slow down. If you load your "assistant" to the maximum, then it will completely freeze. Now let's look at the human brain, in which the same processes take place. The more “programs” you load yourself with, the less resources you have left to implement something new. At the same time, it is worth considering not only the energy that is spent on the work of the brain. Any business you start can be compared to a household appliance that you might have forgotten about, but which still consumes some of the energy. At the same time, a person is only a battery that has a limited amount of energy. And the role of recharging can only be played by a successfully completed task and a sense of satisfaction from the fact that you have completed something.

revision

You can not put off the work you have begun and forget about them! First of all, this applies to choleric and sanguine people. It is the people of this psychotype who enthusiastically take on any business, forgetting about the started and unresolved cases. However, absolutely everyone has problems with finishing what has been started.It should be borne in mind that it is quite possible for a person to perform several tasks at the same time. In this case, it is best to switch to something contrasting. This mode of work is especially useful for those who are not diligent and cannot concentrate on one thing for a long period of time.

Rest assured, absolutely every person has a lot of unfinished business. This may be a task that you have been transferring from one page of the diary to another for a month. Or maybe a goal that you set yourself a few years ago, but never achieved it. Based on the nature of unfinished business, there are many ways to deal with these so-called "energy vampires". But before that, you should make a list of all missed cases and place it in front of you. It is enough to set aside a couple of days (weeks or months, depending on the complexity of these cases) to deal with the past in order to noticeably raise your self-esteem and experience the incomparable pleasure of realizing your dexterity. Crossing off every unfinished business from the list will make you feel like a winner. After you start practicing this method of getting rid of the past, you will gain the strength to move towards new goals. In addition, you will develop a great habit of finishing what you start right away. After drinking tea, wash the mug and throw away the paper from the candy, and you will instantly become a little freer. If you haven't finished watching the movie or finished reading the book - try to do it soon or accept the fact that you will never return to them. Such a practice may seem like complete nonsense to our brain, but the subconscious mind takes each case much more seriously. That is why it is very important to lay out the planned cases on the shelves. You can safely get rid of something, but it is better to do something right away.

head in the clouds

Unresolved cases can be compared to open applications in an operating system. In turn, emotional wounds are much more harmful, since they act as viruses that infect files. Many people carry many "soul scars" within themselves. These can be understatements, unfulfilled dreams, old grievances, missed promises, repressed feelings, etc. A person cannot enjoy life as if he did not have mental trauma. Constant internal tension torments him and from time to time makes itself felt, splashing out in the form of negative emotions. Almost all people, to one degree or another, tend to mentally return to a conflict situation. Therefore, a person often remains in the zone of personal discomfort, which does not allow him to develop normally and very often leads to neurosis.

Unresolved internal conflicts, like ordinary affairs, are very important to resolve as early as possible. According to Master Osho, any unfinished business does not disappear, but only hangs over the mind like a cloud. Dispelling them is a top priority, as they affect everything that happens to us and everything we do.Unfortunately, it is far from always possible to correct something in relations with people. In order to come to peace of mind, you need to reproduce in your head the situation that led to the emergence of internal conflicts. At the same time, you need to mentally change the scenario of that event in your head. You can make things right by sharing your feelings or even getting revenge on your abuser. In this way, you will pour out all the anger that you have stored in yourself.

Personal time machine

Unfinished business is one of the main terms in Gestalt therapy. To correct the situation, the so-called “empty chair” technique is often used. Its essence lies in the fact that an empty chair is placed near a person who seeks to solve some problem. Mentally, the one to whom you want to express something is placed in this chair. Despite the fact that this technique visually resembles a performance, it is distinguished by excellent efficiency.In order for a happy future to come as soon as possible, it makes sense to leave the past behind.In the process of conducting such a "cleaning" you will be able to clarify for yourself many difficulties that previously seemed insoluble. After you give up the clutter, the abundance that you have been waiting for will come into your life.

First, write down on a piece of paper everything that annoys and angers you. You can work through these minor problems both on your own and with outside help. At the same time, it must be remembered that absolutely everything must be eliminated. Even a button that you were going to sew on and didn't sew on can be a significant thorn in your brain. It must be removed even if it does not take much effort and attention.

Most people tend to actively start something new, but not to finish it. Whether this quality is inherent in you is easy to check by looking at your nightstands, bookshelves, organizers and notebooks. Surely there will be unread books, records of unfulfilled plans, delayed e-mails that we did not take the time to read, etc.

If you are familiar with this, you may find some of the tips below helpful.

1. You spend more energy thinking about unfinished business than doing it.

Reflections may require no less psychic energy than actions. The energy spent for many days thinking about unfinished business may be quite enough to, if not completely finish the job, but at least make noticeable progress in it. Therefore, the next time before you drop something halfway, think about the fact that it will be even more energetically costly than doing it.

2. Starting is harder than finishing

Starting something is already a significant achievement in itself. A lot of people get stuck in the thinking phase and never move on to trying to act on their ideas. Even if you take one small step towards your goals, this is already progress. You are on the right track. All you have to do is take the next step... and the next... and little by little you will reach your goal.

3. Perfectionism is the enemy of perfection

You can adjust and improve something throughout your life. It's an endless process. No matter how good you are at something, there will always be opportunities to tweak your work. So if you feel perfectionistic in yourself, complete any task as quickly as possible in its first approximation, and adjustments can be made later if necessary.

How to finish what you started?

Don't lose focus. Most goals remain unfinished because other tasks have gotten in their way and turned our attention to themselves. But juggling large quantity different projects at the same time is a proven way to leave most of them unfinished. Be sure that you focus your efforts on one or a small number of tasks. Don't let yourself be swayed by seemingly urgent tasks and unnecessary distractions.

Eliminate interference. Do a little experiment - observe yourself for a while, and identify the three biggest obstacles in your life. It can be anything from watching TV to chatting with friends on Skype. How can you deal with these time thieves? What can you do to improve your concentration and productivity?

Do, complete or delegate. Take 5-10 minutes to make a list of all the things you left unfinished. After you've done this, review each one carefully and either declare it complete (by crossing it out), or set a goal to complete it as quickly as possible (by putting an exclamation mark next to it), or delegate it to someone else (write the person's name next to the task). ). Sort out all the important tasks that need completion and combine them into a new list so that by the end of the month (quarter or year) you can start a new, more unfinished life.

Postpone things consciously. Anyone who puts things off knows that this most often results in things that have been put off becoming harder to finish. It is desirable that the postponement of some business is a conscious act, and not just its loss in a pile of other cases. Then you are more likely to return to it and complete it, or erase it from memory as unnecessary.

Think in terms of "all or nothing". You may have heard that thinking “all or nothing” is limiting yourself. However, when it comes to completing your endeavors, it can be helpful. If you think about it, you will see that there can be only two results of your actions: they are either completed or they are not. And if not, then it really doesn't matter if the job is half done, almost done, or very close to done - IT'S NOT DONE. Thus, make it your duty: every work begun must be completed. No apologies. No exceptions.

Make yourself accountable. We are usually more motivated to complete the work we have begun if others expect us to do so. Find someone to whom you will be accountable for your professional or personal goals. Set deadlines for each task and communicate them to your partners or family members.

Suppose you are expecting guests in the evening. You've tidied up the house, cleaned up scattered items, figured out how you'll entertain everyone, cooked food and bought drinks. Everything is ready, although there is an hour left before the arrival of the guests. It would seem that this is a great time to do something else, but, paradoxically, this time does not feel like free time for most people. We are already busy: we are having a party, even if there is an hour before it starts. This hour is already reserved by our consciousness, so we cannot use it for another task. Instead, we are busy waiting for guests to arrive. Some people in this situation cannot even read a book and constantly look at their watches, wishing that the event would finally happen. This is the simplest demonstration of fixation from the book "Mental Traps" by Andre Kukla, published by Alpina.

The stakes increase when it comes to studying or working, because when preparing for exams or planning work tasks, an hour is a huge amount of time. As Maxim Dorofeev wrote in Jedi Techniques by the MIF publishing house, one small meeting scheduled for the middle of the day can easily ruin the whole day for some people, because neither before nor after it they are unable to do anything seriously. Before the meeting, the time needs to be filled with something, because the fact of the approaching event gets on your nerves (fixation effect), and after that it seems that it’s too late to do something useful, because it takes more time (uneconomical thinking, saying that serious things can only be done in a few hours and nothing else). As a result, the day is lost, although there is no logical explanation for this.

Some people, who rarely go on vacation or business trips, start preparing a few days in advance and postpone everything for the return period, because they are already “busy”, almost left. Others make long lists of tasks, hoping that it disciplines them, but in fact the excitement of not completing each of them accumulates until the anxiety and pressure it causes turns a person into a neurotic. All of these startling reactions arise from the way people perceive unfinished business.

Background

Man is not the only being who behaves so illogically when confronted with unfinished business. Animals have a so-called biased activity. Researchers have found that if an animal cannot start or complete an action, or if it has a conflict of motivations (for example, two hyena-like dogs collide at the border of their territories and do not know what to do - attack or run), the animals begin to engage in meaningless activities. substitution actions that are completely inappropriate for the situation, for example, they circle, wash themselves, dig holes, and so on. Hyena-like dogs in the described case begin to run and dig in the ground. Quite wittily and simply about displaced activity is described in the video blog “Everything is like animals”:

Procrastination: Hello from your inner hamster

In humans, the conflict between several important tasks or the fear of making a decision causes procrastination, which is familiar to everyone, that is, putting off things for later and / or replacing them with hard work on something else, like writing texts, reading social networks, cooking cupcakes, or training with heavy weights.

But inadequate behavior when it is impossible to complete the work begun is the effect of fixation. When you make an appointment, you mark it in your head as a task to be completed, sort of “starting” it, but you are not able to immediately complete it or even begin to complete it, which causes anxiety. You don't actually do anything, but the wait is seriously exhausting. The tension is especially strong if the task is very long in time - for example, you are treating your teeth, having scheduled a series of visits to the dentist, or working on tasks where their completion depends not only on you, but also on others (many can wait half a day for an answer, not able to do other things at this time).

The behavior of a person faced with unfinished tasks was studied by Kurt Lewin together with his team of researchers - Maria Ovsyankina, Bluma Zeigarnik, Vera Mahler and others. In the course of experiments, they found that a person has big problems with unfinished business, and even with absolutely meaningless ones. That is why, by the way, many project managers tend to complete the most hopeless and even unprofitable project instead of quitting it, because unfinished business creates internal dissatisfaction.

Levin's assistant and our compatriot Maria Ovsyankina conducted a simple experiment: she gave adults a boring and useless task - to put together a figure from cut parts. When the subject completed about half of the task, she interrupted him and asked him to do the second, unrelated to the previous one. At the same time, she covered the incompletely assembled figure with a newspaper. It turned out that after completing the second task, 86% of the subjects wanted to return to the first interrupted task and complete it, and the inability to do this increased the heart rate and had other psychophysiological effects. The researcher changed tasks, but the result remained the same. Kurt Lewin was extremely surprised by the data. “Why do adults, having started such a stupid job as folding figures, want to return to it? After all, there is no interest or encouragement!” he wondered. As a result, Levin concluded that people have a need to complete any, even meaningless, task. So numerous proverbs and folk wisdom that what has been started is worth finishing is not just a call to the virtue of labor, but also a consequence of our painful relationship with unfinished business.

In addition, Bluma Zeigarnik discovered what is now called the Zeigarnik effect. Her experiments showed that a person remembers unfinished business much better than completed ones. When we finish a task, we lose interest in it very quickly, while unfinished tasks remain in memory much longer. We not only suffer from unfinished business, but also are not able to get it out of our heads. This also explains, for example, why people finish reading bad books, although this does not give them any pleasure. You can break the system if you stop doing it. In his book Intention, Will, and Need, Levin gives this example: “Someone immersed themselves in a stupid newspaper novel, but did not finish it. This romance can haunt him for years."

A typical example of fixation on an unfinished business from Maxim Dorofeev's book