Tough Negotiations: How to Avoid Defeat. Tough Negotiations - Keep Your Opponent on the Hook

Instruction

In business negotiations, participants can act in an equal position, and more often in a weak or strong position. It is clear that someone who communicates from a position of strength is unlikely to make concessions, he simply does not need it, he already wins. But with a weak own position or with equivalent relations, it is important to determine in advance the desired result, the outcome of the negotiations, the goal that is planned to be achieved. This preparation for negotiations allows you to touch on many aspects - from the priority tasks that need to be addressed, and the strengths and weaknesses of your position, to comfortable clothes and shoes to maintain self-confidence.

Another step in preparing for a tough confrontation in the negotiation process should be what can be sacrificed in order to achieve a result. Simply put, you need to decide what in the company's initial proposal can be changed, and what is not subject to the slightest discussion. For this tactic to be successful, you need to set yourself the most clear boundaries of what is paramount and what is not so important.

During tough negotiations, you need to choose one of the strategies: defensive or attacking. This largely depends on the strength of the position of a particular participant in the negotiations. If the position is weak, a defensive strategy is often chosen, which implies the absence of the person who makes the final decision in the negotiation process. This allows you to postpone the solution of the issue and the possible signing of documents and gain time. With an attacking strategy, on the contrary, the company should be represented by a person who makes instant and, if possible, correct decisions. In such a strategy, a conflict situation plays a huge role. If the opponent starts to lose his temper, most likely, he can make a mistake, which can then be used to your advantage.

Some negotiators are of the opinion that the first step is to try to move the talks into a peaceful direction - to make them softer. One of the surest options for this is openness to the opponent. You can talk on neutral topics, find points of intersection, ask for help in some small things, and then make your position as clear as possible. If you show flexibility on some issues, it is possible that the opponent will show flexibility on others, thanks to which it will be possible to reach a compromise solution, and the negotiations will no longer be tough. Even if the negotiation decision is negative, it is not worth affecting the personality of the opponent, it is better to refer to some abstract circumstances that do not allow reaching an agreement.

In certain situations, it may seem to one of the parties in the negotiations that they are trying to put pressure on it, manipulate it or catch it on something. Of course, the best solution in this situation would be to end the negotiations, but this is not always realistic. It is important to learn to recognize such moments and confront them. In many negotiation trainings, participants are taught both these tactics themselves and the skill.

One of the first conditions that you should not agree to is a meeting on someone else's territory. In this case, the “stranger” often feels uncomfortable, even if his position is stronger. It is believed that the one who goes to negotiate with another is more in need of a positive outcome. If negotiations cannot be held in your office, it is better to choose neutral territory.

It is important to pause in negotiations. If the interlocutor suddenly falls silent, you should not fill the silence so as not to end up in a position where all the arguments have already been given, and the opponent has not even begun to speak. In such a situation, you can ask a question, albeit a neutral one, but a provocative answer from another negotiator. But in a situation where the opponent begins to divert the conversation to the side through such an answer, it is better to firmly stop these attempts.

Also during negotiations, some managers use tricks in the form of shifting responsibility, asking leading questions and questions without choice, or referring to phrases like “everyone has been doing this for a long time”, “everyone knows”, etc. Here it is important to distinguish between positions: each of you has your own problems and the problems of the opposite side, for the most part, do not concern anyone. In general, when a participant begins to feel as if under threat, when even the body sends signals that it wants to leave the negotiating table (for example, a leg itches or twitches), it is better to say out loud that no adequate cooperation can be established by such dishonest measures.

Tough negotiations- these are negotiations that imply the achievement of a strictly fixed result, excluding any concessions, compromises, concessions, concessions. In tough negotiations, pressure prevails over dialogue, manipulation over arguments, and bluffing over facts. The arguments sound categorical, peremptory, ultimatum. Action takes place from a position of strength.

Perhaps you feel that hard negotiation is not your method, that this negotiating style is not a tool for your business. However, the need to master the technique of tough negotiations arises in a wide variety of situations.

In principle, any negotiations on a major deal can always become tough, especially if the counterparty feels a real opportunity to “move” you in price or delivery terms. There are situations when you need to collect a large debt and mastering the technique of tough negotiations will become an indispensable skill at one of the stages of working with a debtor. You are doomed to conduct tough negotiations if you have to deal with buyers of a large retail chain. In general, anyone and at any time can impose hard-style negotiations on you. Yes, you yourself will want to resort to this tactic when you see that your interests are undeservedly and severely affected.

Of particular interest is the specificity of tough negotiations for the head of the company. In the context of a tense dialogue with one's own subordinates, the ability to recognize manipulations and resist them becomes of considerable relevance.

One of the popular models of manipulative behavior is the so-called manipulative triangle (Karpman's triangle). Traditionally, in a situation of classical manipulation, there are three heroes - the Victim, the Tyrant and the Rescuer.

Scheme of Behavior Victims simple, she invariably cries, complains, talks about her troubles. This is a person who is always offended, insulted and deprived, deceived, robbed and beaten. The victim is never responsible for anything, for any of her oversights there will always be a good reason, and even better - the direct culprit in the form of a Tyrant. The Victim, by the way, is always in dire need of the Tyrant, and even if there is no despot nearby, he will very soon appear or be "appointed" by the Victim in this capacity.

Manners Tirana leave much to be desired. The tyrant is aggressive, scandalous, assertive. The tyrant is tactless, he likes to ask rhetorical questions about the mistakes of the interlocutor. In public transport, a disgruntled Tyrant is immediately well heard, in a stream of cars, a tyrant driver also dictates his terms.

Even if the story about the Tyrant does not seem to be about you, the skillful Victim will deftly draw you, as his leader, into this manipulation. Victim works slipshod, constantly late or makes unacceptable mistakes, Tyrant habitually scolds, Victim cries and gives a list of confused excuses, everyone disagrees with a sense of accomplishment, the work is worth it.

Undoubtedly, the Tyrant and the Victim complement each other perfectly, but the triangle would not become a triangle without a third participant - this Rescuer. Any decent Sacrifice will look forward to their Rescuer. The Rescuer also strives for the Victim, he needs it in order to have someone to support, someone to help. The Rescuer is warmed by a sense of self-importance and indispensability. This is also a dangerous person for the organization, at least, because during the periods of “rescuing” the Victim, he is not very busy with his work.

It must be understood that the three roles described can be both a permanent characteristic of a person and a temporary mask “put on” for a specific manipulation. However, in any case, if you become aware of the manipulation, feel that you are being drawn in or have already been drawn into it, then you should firmly resist it.

What questions will you find answered in this article?

- How to prepare for tough negotiations?
- What negotiation strategy to choose?
- What is the essence of the tactics of "talking" and "attaching"?
- How not to let yourself be manipulated?Brief summary of the article

1. How to Prepare for Tough Negotiations

• Determine your strengths and weaknesses.
• Designate the desired result.
• Determine what you are willing to sacrifice.

• Protective strategy. It should be used if you assume that the opponent is stronger than you professionally, emotionally and mentally. Ideally, the person who enters into such negotiations should not have the authority to make the final decision.
• Attack strategy. It is better to use it if you are supposed to win. It is better to send a person to such negotiations who will be able to quickly navigate and make the right decision.

1. Tough Negotiation Tactics

• Attachment technique. First, you accept the point of view of the interlocutor, and then look at the situation or question from his side. And then the arguments that you will use can push the interlocutor to change his mind.
• The technique of "chattering", when the phrases are repeatedly repeated: “I wish you well!”, “Of course, we want your company to be prosperous!”. Thus, they try to put pressure on some base human instincts - for example, greed or vanity.

• Be open to the interlocutor. Clearly indicate your position to your partner: perhaps this will make your interlocutor go the same way.
• Talk about neutral topics. At the beginning of tense negotiations, it is sometimes helpful to broach topics that are not relevant to the conversation, such as hobbies.
• Ask for help. People appreciate more those whom they helped themselves. It would be appropriate to ask for something before starting negotiations, for example, a pen and paper.
• Don't let yourself be pressured. If you are being pressured, say out loud: “You are pushing me!” From the very fact that it is spoken aloud, the possibilities of manipulation by your interlocutor will be greatly reduced.

Tough negotiations differ from ordinary ones in that they are conducted using forbidden techniques. Such methods are practiced, as a rule, when the transaction is one-time and you need to get the maximum benefit from it. Each step forward in such situations means the loss of one's own benefit.

How to Prepare for Tough Negotiations

1. Identify your strengths and weaknesses. Try to understand how you can influence the interlocutor (for example, the prospects for cooperation with your company) and how he can put pressure on you (for example, more favorable conditions offered by your competitors).

2. Designate the desired result. Set for yourself "pessimistic" and "optimistic" boundaries, beyond which it makes no sense to negotiate. Then you will be able to defend your interests and not go beyond the established limits. It is also important to know what your partner wants from these negotiations, and develop a strategy depending on this.

3. Determine what you are willing to sacrifice. It is better to immediately indicate how much you are ready to “pay” for the result of negotiations to move from the “pessimistic” value of some parameter to the “optimistic” one.

Tough Negotiation Strategies

There are two strategies for conducting tough negotiations - defensive (defensive) and attacking.

Protective strategy. It should be used if you assume that the opponent is stronger than you professionally, emotionally and mentally. In this case, it is necessary to strictly fix those parameters below which it is impossible to fall. Ideally, the person who enters into such negotiations should not have the authority to make the final decision. For example, you are negotiating, and the contract itself is signed and endorsed by people who were not present at the negotiations, for example, members of the board of directors.

Usually, negotiations with the authorities follow this scheme. A businessman who decides mainly commercial rather than political issues is a weaker negotiator compared to a politician. Attack strategy. It is better to use it if you are counting on winning. It is better to send a person to such negotiations who will be able to quickly navigate and make the right decision. For an attacking strategy, conflict is often beneficial: during a conflict, a person loses control over himself and becomes easily controlled. In a state of passion, the negotiator is able to make mistakes, which you can then use to your advantage.

An example of such tough negotiations is public debate, when it is extremely beneficial for the opposing side to lose control of itself. Literally a couple of phrases - and your opponent starts screaming, spitting, slurring his own thoughts, saying too much, and this makes a negative impression on the public. As a result, you, calm and reasonable, find yourself in a more advantageous position.

Negotiation Tactics

The simplest are “mirroring” and “pushing through”1. However, today they no longer give the desired effect, as they are too well known. I do not recommend using them as the main ones. If you need to convince a person, you can use the standard "attachment" technique. First, you accept the point of view of the interlocutor, and then look at the situation or question from his side. And then those arguments that you will use will be able to make the interlocutor change his mind. Another standard procedure is the “talking” technique, when the words are repeatedly repeated: “I wish you well; we, of course, want your company to be prosperous!”. Thus, you can put pressure on some base human instincts - for example, greed or vanity. If he is greedy, he is promised big profits, and unfounded, since a greedy person cannot critically evaluate such information. A person who is poorly educated, but who respects science, is “loaded” with graphs, diagrams, and the scientific nature of the text. Special terms are also used. A person will most likely be embarrassed to clarify their meaning, therefore, he will not understand everything that is said and will be forced to rely on the opinion of the interlocutor (see also: Types of psychological traps).

How not to be manipulated

The simplest way to avoid defeat is not to enter into such negotiations. If you feel uncomfortable and feel that you can not cope, it is best to break off the negotiations and leave.

If the situation is heating up, then any abrupt action will help, a blow to the table, loudly said “Enough!”, An unexpected comparison. Incorrect questions should be answered openly and symmetrical questions should be asked as soon as possible. For example, in the framework of cooperation negotiations, you are asked: “Do you want to cash in on us?”. The answer should be: “Yes, we want to make money. You are not?". If you are forced to do something, say loudly: “You are putting pressure on me!”. Once this is said, the possibilities of manipulation by your interlocutor are greatly reduced. Then you can turn the conversation into a peaceful direction (if you are planning a long-term cooperation) or even launch an offensive.

During tough negotiations, it is important to learn how to control your condition. Try to look at yourself from the outside, evaluate your actions. This approach will help to timely determine the line beyond which you can become a puppet in someone's hands. You should be concerned if your gestures have changed, you have begun to perform strange actions: tapping on the table, unreasonably rubbing your hands or feet. So, stroking your thighs with both hands is a subconscious gesture that you want to leave the place of negotiations. If you notice this, it means that the subconscious mind is signaling you about the danger. In this case, it is best to go out for a while, calm down and decide whether you want to continue negotiations or not. It is very useful to wash your face: the impact of water on the forehead triggers reflex mechanisms that calm the heartbeat and regulate metabolism. In three to five minutes, you can regain your balance and decide whether you need to continue the conversation. If not, say that, unfortunately, an urgent call has come in and you are forced to leave the negotiations. If you think that it is necessary to bring the matter to the end, calm down, gather your strength and go for the next "portion".

If you are forced to make a decision based on some facts, you need to write everything down and take a timeout to make a decision. Remember that any facts should be given with reference to the original source. If the opposing party is unable to identify the original sources, as is usually the case, state that a decision will only be made when you receive them. Ideally, all information received should be checked by your security department (see an example from my experience: How it works in practice).

Types of psychological traps

There is a pretty powerful psychological trap associated with the hypnosis technique. For example, you can switch the lighting in the room. In negotiations, of course, this technique is of little use. Although with the help of a sparkling pen with a gold cap, if it is rotated correctly in the hands, it is possible to put a person into a state close to a trance, thereby turning off the logical component of his brain.

You can also change the volume of the voice, play with the timbre and pitch. Professional negotiators are able to easily switch from high to low tone and vice versa. And they do it randomly, thereby driving the interlocutor into a trance, chatting him up. It may seem that the partner is talking about the case, and consciousness is losing the ability to analyze. Then the person himself does not understand how he agreed with all the arguments and signed the agreement.

How to Smooth Out Tough Negotiations

Tough negotiations can and even need to be translated into soft ones, especially in cases where you are aimed at long-term cooperation. Use the following methods:

Be open to the interlocutor. To translate tough negotiations into soft ones, you must first of all be flexible and open yourself. Clearly indicate your position: perhaps this will make your interlocutor go the same way (see Seller and buyer). Talk about neutral topics. At the beginning of tense negotiations, it is sometimes useful to touch on topics that are not relevant to the conversation, but are interesting for the interlocutors, for example, hobbies (see "Become Your Own Tactic"). If you are meeting for the first time, you can tell a little about yourself and your company. Naturally, you will achieve a greater effect if you do not turn the conversation into an official presentation. Ask for help. It is very useful to ask a partner for some kind of service. People appreciate more those they helped. It is quite appropriate to ask for something (for example, a pen and paper) before starting negotiations.

How to say no. If, as a result of negotiations, you still have to say “no”, do not get personal. Having informed the interlocutor: “We don’t sign agreements with such slow-witted people,” you will most likely find an enemy for life. You should not call the partner's position the reason for the failed transaction, it is better to state that it is your conditions and opportunities that do not allow an agreement at the moment.

Seller and Buyer

A fairly standard case of hard negotiation is the negotiation between a seller and a buyer. The position of both parties is clear: the buyer wants to buy the goods at a low price and pay for it later, the seller wants to sell at a higher price and receive money in advance. If you prepare in advance for such negotiations and deploy them correctly, you can easily turn them into soft ones, while defending your interests. Two factors must be taken into account: the price of the goods and the deferred payment. You designate in advance the minimum price to which you are ready to drop with a minimum delay, and openly inform your partner about this. Thus, you give the second party the opportunity to choose - to take the goods at the lowest price, but pay immediately, or later, but at a higher price. As a result, the partner finds himself in a situation where tough negotiations are meaningless. There is a minimum price, below which you still will not fall, therefore, there is only bargaining for a delay.

Tactics "become your own"

Show your interlocutor that you are similar in many ways: you have children, a dog, both of you are men (or women). It is quite possible that you will find common acquaintances, it turns out that you graduated from the same educational institution, etc. For example, I use such a technique as talking about children. If you are late even for a minute, you can apologize and say that you were talking on the phone with a child, and at the same time ask if your interlocutor has children.

Dialogue book of quick recipes Kotkin Dmitry

Chapter 1 "Tin" or what are tough negotiations

"Tin" or what are tough negotiations

One Friday evening I was waiting for a friend for a long time in a small cozy coffee shop on Nevsky Prospekt. He stumbled in out of breath, red as a cancer, drank water for a long time, then exhaled and nervously lit a cigarette, stared somewhere through me, finally calming down, he said: “Sorry, I was in negotiations with a large company, it was TIN!” So the idea was born, to find out what “Tin” is in negotiations.

If we examine which request on the topic “Negotiations” breaks all records in Yandex, then this will be the phrase “tough negotiations”. We live in an age of speed, where we want to achieve our goals as quickly as possible, and for some reason the world around us actively resists this, or rather, it is indifferent to our desires, it lives in its own rhythm. Try to give birth to a child quickly, grow a tree quickly, build a house quickly. Well, the house is probably still possible to build quickly, but will it be of high quality? And you want quality. In any case, as soon as the desire “quickly” appears, “tin” immediately begins, including at the negotiating table. All sorts of consultants, business coaches, smart books immediately come to the aid of the layman, who tell how to speed up and optimize the negotiation process with the help of tactics, strategies, and techniques. "Tin" for some time disappears and abruptly "jumps" as soon as we encounter in "hand-to-hand" with the same "pumped" fighter.

The essence of the interaction of hard negotiations, which almost everyone is afraid of, can be formulated in one phrase - "Agree or go to hell."

In the negotiations themselves, this manifests itself in different ways.

1. In the tactics of behavior. The main task of a tough negotiator is to exert hidden pressure on the interlocutor, a quiet voice, a gloomy look, lack of eye contact, defiantly ignoring your phrases and questions. Or vice versa - a scream, a sharp tone, a ferocious rolling of the eyes, sharp chopped phrases, waving of the arms.

2. In words. Devaluation of the opponent's opinion in the range from playful irony, sarcasm, ridicule to obscenity.

3. In questions - sharp, categorical, tough, requiring an unambiguous decision here and now, not allowing you to think, concentrate.

4. In context. When words with a powerful negative connotation, emotional overtones are used, repeated out of place and out of place: “nonsense”, “nonsense”, “primitive”, “God, where did you get all this ?!”.

5. In the dynamics of a conversation, when quick questions are replaced by long, painful pauses for the other side. What is a painful pause? And this is when you asked a seemingly simple question, and the interlocutor is silent in response for 5 seconds, 10, 20.

"Tin" can manifest itself at the level of the negotiation strategy, by increasing the needs of the interlocutor.

One of the parties is constantly delaying the adoption of intermediate decisions, constantly taking pauses to agree on even minor issues.

Involvement in bidding followed by "disappearance", when the discussion ends abruptly without indicating the date and time of the next round of negotiations.

Demonstration of strength through: showing one's status ("random" conversation with Vladimir Vladimirovich in the middle of the meeting); a hint at the presence of secret knowledge about the market, the opponent (“I heard about your problems last year”), the situation (“we know that the situation on the market will soon change dramatically”), aggression against “ours” (tough defiantly “ rape" of subordinates in front of the opponent).

Creating pressure due to physical discomfort - holding a meeting in a stuffy room, noisy, dirty, etc. An unexpected increase in the number of negotiators, the introduction of a third party into negotiations without warning.

? "A blow to the wallet", drawing into the financial costs of negotiations - expensive restaurants, flights, business trips, gifts, etc.

All this introduces an unprepared negotiator into a state of panic, since it is not clear what is happening and how to react to it. Panic turns off consciousness and forces either to run away from the negotiating table, or to agree to the demands of the other side, which, by the way, is also an “escape” option.

There are a lot of tricks and we will definitely analyze them all. Moreover, the aerobatics of pressure in negotiations is when there are no visible manifestations of aggression, when everyone smiles and speaks in a low voice, and goosebumps run down the back.

The main task of "Tin" is to unbalance, make you nervous, make mistakes, lower expectations from the meeting, make you make concessions.

After such a "tin" people feel overwhelmed, tired, devastated. They drink valerian, smoke a lot and cannot fall asleep for a long time at night. Familiar? Then you have come to the right place. We know how to deal with all this.

So, if during the meeting you encountered any of these phenomena, then you are already in a situation of tough negotiations. It is clear that the feeling of “tin” is different for each person, someone will faint from a “heavy” look, and someone will feel discomfort only when they start torturing him with a soldering iron. Everyone has their own level of stress resistance.

But a legitimate question arises, where does all this come from, why are we being “pressed”? There are many reasons, perhaps it's just a habit, a demeanor and your interlocutor does not know how to do it differently, he is a former military man and was shell-shocked in a hot spot, after which he can only yell. Perhaps this is a well-established communication scheme, a tool that allows you to quickly push through your decision. Perhaps a more experienced enemy simply didn’t like you, and he decided to “merge” his family troubles onto you, relieve stress. When they humiliated you, and you cannot answer, in order to restore your self-esteem, you need to humiliate someone who is weaker than you. But this is only possible if the enemy assessed you as weaker - in terms of the manner of speaking, behavior, appearance, etc. And one of the main tasks when improving your negotiation skills is the ability not to show your weakness, the ability to allow yourself to be strong. Self-control, calmness - this is the can opener that will cope with any "tin". And this can be learned!