How to be calm in any situation and not get nervous? How to stay calm in any situation - effective methods and methods.

Often you have to face a situation when you cannot restrain yourself, anger and rage come out, often developing into attacks of aggression. Such moments are mentally and physically exhausting, empty hearts, and bring discord to families. How to learn to control your emotions and always remain calm in any situation?

Elephant made of flies

First of all, you need to determine for yourself what is most often the source of irritation, at what moments nervousness occurs. Knowing the enemy by sight, it is easier to deal with him, namely, try to avoid irritants and stress.

Such situations can escalate not only because of a bad character. Oddly enough, people are affected not only by fatigue and stress at work and at home, but also by the weather, the phases of the moon, and the period before women's periods. Most often, such restless moments are caused by fatigue and lack of sleep, which causes a lack of vitamins and minerals in the body, and hormonal imbalance. Then the problem turns into a purely physiological process that is not so easy to control.

You often make mountains out of molehills, beat yourself up, mentally replay the situation and get even more angry and upset. When you notice that only negative thoughts are spinning in your head, you need to pull yourself together, repeating: “It’s okay, I can handle it.”

Try to think about something positive. At such a moment, you can remember a person who knows how to control himself and is an example or authority for you. At the moment of irritability, you need to think and imagine what this person would do in such a situation.

How to stay calm in any situation

If you cannot control the situation, you need to try to control yourself. There are several techniques that help you master yourself in difficult moments.

The most common: in a moment of rage, bite the inside of your cheek, count to ten, take a deep breath and exhale your anger along with the air.

Learn to breathe with your stomach. A couple of minutes of this breathing using the diaphragm helps relieve tension. Inhale through your nose and watch your hand rise on your stomach.

At the moment of tension, you need to tense the muscles of the whole body, and then suddenly relax, imagining that a mountain has fallen from your shoulders.

Yoga techniques, meditation and prayer help you relax and put your thoughts in order. If this is all completely foreign to you, try to relax, close your eyes and read a poem you know, even a children’s one.

Calm music helps you relax. Take off your shoes, drink a glass of water and lie down, turning on a quiet melody.

Love yourself

Sometimes a negative situation drags on for a long time for reasons beyond your control. How to become calm when everything is falling out of your hands and you cannot control either the situation or yourself?

Relaxing baths, soothing teas and simple valerian will help you get through difficult moments and wait out troubles. Physical exercise and walks in the fresh air relieve stress, make the blood move faster and deliver the necessary vitamins and minerals to your irritated body.

You definitely need to get enough sleep and eat right. The diets that some women love to go on most often lead to vitamin deficiency and dehydration, which results in attacks of anger. At the same time, there is no need to overeat, especially at night. This way you can deprive yourself of precious sleep.

In our crazy world, it is almost impossible to always remain calm and balanced. Every day we become depressed and irritated by little things. This is a normal life process, because it is impossible to always be happy with everything. Women especially suffer from irritability and attacks of anger towards the whole world. Their frequent mood swings have many sources.

  • Bad character. This is a purely genetic help for a permanent bad mood, nit-picking towards others and a sour face. It’s just genetically laid down in such a way that a person is simply not predisposed to violent manifestations of joy.
  • Menstrual and premenstrual period. On such days, women are clearly not in the mood to joke and have fun. They often show aggression towards others, they can find fault, shout, and provoke conflict situations for no reason. It's all due to the hormones that are released during menstruation. They provoke irritability and sleep disturbances. And pain during menstruation only increases dissatisfaction and the desire to tell everyone to go to hell.
  • Thyroid gland dysfunction. The thyroid gland also affects our emotional state. Due to its malfunction, the hormonal background of the whole body changes. This causes mood swings, excessive tearfulness and sentimentality. Therefore, every year it is necessary to consult an endocrinologist. He will examine the thyroid gland, direct you to undergo the necessary tests and prescribe the correct treatment if a pathology is found.
  • Constant feeling of hunger. When women go on diets, they often starve themselves. Malnutrition is becoming one of the most common causes of female anger. When a person does not receive enough food, his emotional state deteriorates sharply. The body requires the necessary nutrients. And when he doesn’t receive them, he begins to protest with hysteria, nagging, poor health, and weakness.
  • Irrational daily schedule. Daily routine also affects a woman's mood. If a woman does not know how to rationally organize her daily routine, she will always be late and will not cope with work assignments on time. Also, improper time management can lead to sleep disturbances. This all leads to constant deadlines, nervousness, panic fear of being late, not completing a task on time, or being reprimanded. Women often steal time from themselves to sleep. They sit until one in the morning, trying to finish home and work tasks. But then in the morning they are unable to get out of bed. Such a harmful rhythm of life threatens the syndrome of constant fatigue, troubles at work, decreased productivity, and nervousness. The most dire cases have to be treated at the clinical level, because a woman can easily have a nervous breakdown. Treatment is carried out both with medication and with the use of acupuncture, baths, massage, a special system of physical exercises, and hypnosis sessions.

How to overcome anger and irritability

The rhythm of life of a modern woman practically does not allow her to take serious care of her health and put her frayed nerves in order. The weaker sex diligently builds a career, raises children, takes care of the house and does more. Naturally, it is impossible to walk around cheerful and smiling all day. There are times when anger and irritation overflow, and it’s just a stone’s throw away.

At this critical moment, it is important to understand the cause of irritation and urgently take emergency measures to restore mental balance and calm frayed nerves. Here are some tips to help you come to your senses and calm down.

  1. If the cause of anger lies in the menstrual period, it is important to create the most comfortable conditions for yourself. Firstly, it is better to redo all the difficult work in advance, so as not to push yourself into a deadline during your period. There should always be valerian in your purse. It is especially useful during menstruation, because it perfectly relieves nervous tension and pacifies pain in the abdominal area. Drinking frequently during menstruation is the key to good health. During this special period, clean water is especially important. If there is not enough fluid in the body, then headaches and cramps often occur, which cause irritability.
  2. Chamomile tea is a real salvation for frayed nerves. Take 2-3 teaspoons of chamomile flowers per liter of boiling water and leave for 20 minutes. You can drink this tea throughout the day. Chamomile perfectly calms the nerves, gives peace of mind and ensures sound sleep.
  3. A well-rested woman is a happy person. It is impossible to be joyful and healthy if you have 4-5 hours of sleep. On average, we need to sleep 7-8 hours. This time is enough for the nervous system to fully recover, and energy and tone to increase. It is advisable not to sleep on your stomach - this position is very harmful to your posture and worsens the functioning of the gastrointestinal tract. But it is precisely because of the discomfort in the stomach that we often cannot sleep, we toss and turn, and in the morning we wake up angry and offended by the whole world.
  4. Clear planning of the day will protect you from... It is useful to plan your day hourly, allocating a certain amount of time to each task. For this purpose, it is useful to keep a diary, in which it is very convenient to record priority and secondary tasks. Then the woman’s risk of nervousness and hysteria over a task not completed on time is reduced.
  5. Breathing practices will restore your emotional state and relieve obsessive thoughts and worries. Often we breathe incorrectly, in gusts, gulping air greedily. Learn to breathe correctly, and then there will be much less stress and irritation in your life. Spend 10-20 minutes on this activity in the evening before bed. Try to breathe deeply, do not rush to push the air out of your lungs, hold your breath for a couple of seconds. Only then exhale slowly and measuredly. Such breathing exercises are akin to yoga. They enrich the blood with oxygen, calm the flow of thoughts, and balance.

We are all worried about something. Someone is worried about a session, passing exams, or an upcoming promotion up the career ladder. Someone is concerned about their personal life or the political situation in the country, or the health of their children. We cannot be indifferent to everything. It’s just important not to go too far and not take out your anger and dissatisfaction on others. Women often fail to cope with this difficult task. It's all because of their excessiveness and vulnerability. But it is possible and necessary to fight attacks of anger and irritability. If you approach solving this problem comprehensively, you can very soon become calm and restrained and forget about anger and nervousness.

Emotional intelligence is “the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions and the emotions of others.” Low emotional intelligence, as a rule, leads to an inability to remain calm and provokes conflicts, and high emotional intelligence extinguishes these conflicts and gives a person the ability to remain calm under pressure and in the most unfavorable circumstances.

Conflict situations are an integral part of life. Even the calmest and most collected person goes through them at some point in their life. In most cases, people have no control over them, and the only aspect of conflict we can control is how we respond. We can learn to recognize, acknowledge and manage our negative emotions. What should I do for this?

1. Take deep breaths

Why: Staying calm and focused during conflict depends on your ability to relax your body. Shallow and shallow breathing is the body’s natural response to stress, so to get rid of this, practice deep breathing, which immediately involves common sense.

How to: Inhale deeply through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth. This type of breathing will stop the production of two stress hormones - adrenaline and cortisol.

2. Focus on your body

Why: Focusing on any physical sensations that arise during a conflict will allow you to consciously change them. When your attention turns to your body, you may notice tension, shallow breathing, and other signs that accompany stress.

How: When you notice your body starting to tense up, try returning to a neutral state by relaxing your shoulders and arms. This open attitude demonstrates positivity—and often defuses conflict.

3. Listen carefully

Why: a person will initiate an argument or some other conflict if he believes that he is not being heard. In addition, it is impossible to resolve a conflict without careful and active listening.

How: Focus all your attention on what the person is saying. Ignore any thoughts of interrupting him with your remarks. Once the person has finished speaking, you will already have the information you need to respond intelligently.

4. Ask open-ended questions

Why: Open questions are essential when resolving conflicts. First, they show that you are paying attention. Second, these types of questions show respect to the person by allowing them to articulate their thoughts.

How to: Learning to ask open-ended questions can be a little challenging. The main thing is not to ask simple questions that require short “yes” or “no” answers. Instead, use constructions that begin with the question words “what,” “why,” “why,” “when,” “where,” and “how.”

5. Keep your voice down

Why: the easiest way to escalate a conflict is to raise your voice, and on the contrary, speaking more quietly and softly, you extinguish the conflict. Volume and tone of voice are also linked to blood pressure. When the pressure reaches a certain point, it becomes more difficult to understand the meaning of what is being said.

6. We agree to disagree

Why: Not every conflict ends in mutually acceptable results. However, you can avoid making the situation worse by politely removing yourself from the conversation.

How: The law of interpersonal conflict is that there are two participants. It is necessary to remove yourself from the conflict under one of two circumstances: (1) the person becomes increasingly hostile or (2) the conversation, despite all your efforts, has reached a dead end.

Unless you're a self-awareness guru, at some point during a conflict you might get really angry. Humans are emotional creatures, and this ability to feel can be used both to our benefit and to our detriment. By following at least one or two tips from the six above, you will undoubtedly feel more confident in any conflict situation. By doing this, you will gain people's trust and respect for your calm and balanced nature.

When I was a little younger, I had big goals and aspirations and a strong desire to achieve them every day of my life. In those days, my greatest desire was to live each day with dignity and peace of mind - to be equanimous and move peacefully from one task to another with concentration and calm, controlled energy.

Does everything seem simple? Probably no. But there are steps we can take to at least stay calm more often. Why be calm? Damn it because it feels fantastic! Anger and impatience wear on our hearts, our souls, and our families. When we control our emotions, we get more done, communicate better, and live more productive and purposeful lives.

1. Try not to be dramatic

It is very easy to dramatize and make mountains out of molehills. In any stressful situations, when the problem concerns you, do not give in to the impulse to exaggerate the negative. Avoid the words “always” and “when”. You may feel like Stuart Smalley, but telling yourself “I can handle this,” “It’s okay,” and “I’m stronger than this” can really help you look at the problem differently.

2. Think before sharing a problem.

Don't talk about, blog, or tweet about your problem. Don't discuss it with your friends right away; digest it yourself first, this will give you time to calm down a little. Sometimes, well-meaning friends are too sympathetic to you. This only adds fuel to the fire and makes you even more upset.

3. Discover metaphors and visualization as a way to stay calm.

Here's what helps me: I try to think of the problem as a node. The more I panic and pull at the ends, the tighter the knot gets. But when I focus completely, I calm down and can loosen one thread at a time.

It also helps if you imagine yourself acting calm and focused. Stop shouting and move as slowly as possible. Speak slowly and quietly. Become the calm and calm person you see in your imagination.

Here's another trick: Do you know anyone who can be called unflappable? Think about what this person would do in your place.

4. Identify the factors that drive you crazy

Are there certain situations that make you feel out of control? Identify specific factors - from the time of day to how busy (or bored) you are, to your blood sugar levels. Do you lose your temper when it's too loud - or too quiet? Knowing your personal triggers will help you stay calm throughout the day.

5. Realize that you can control your emotions.

Think back to times when you were able to successfully remain calm in a difficult situation. Perhaps it was when you wanted to yell at your spouse or children, but then the doorbell rang, and you were able to instantly change your mind. Remember that you can repeat this by knowing what irritates you and what can help you maintain peace of mind.

6. Create a calm environment with relaxing rituals

If calm music comforts you, take advantage of it. If silence calms you, take advantage of it. Maybe you'll play soothing instrumental music, dim the lights, and light some scented candles.

When you come home from work, take a few minutes to allow your mind to calm down before diving into family matters. Sit in your car for a couple of minutes and take a few deep breaths. Take off your shoes and drink a few sips of water. Such rituals are extremely calming during the transition from one activity to another.

7. Take care of your immediate needs

Make sure that you get enough sleep and get enough protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals. Most often, I become irritable when my blood sugar is low. However, all I have to do is eat something nutritious and I feel (relatively) better.

Also try do physical education. Daily workouts help relieve physical stress, which in turn helps you control your feelings. If I feel the need, then instead of jogging for half an hour, I do kickboxing. It helps.

Avoid excessive sugar consumption And caffeine, And don't dehydrate your body. Drink a big glass of water and see if you feel better, calmer and more alert.

8. Pay attention to the soul and spirit

Depending on your religious preferences, do meditation or pray. Practice yoga - or just sit quietly for a while. The ability to find peace of mind will serve you well more than once. Take a meditation class and learn techniques to help you control your busy mind.

9. Take a break

Instead of thinking about the same thing, do something interesting, exciting or creative. Try to laugh(or laugh at yourself). Watch a comedy or read a blog that always makes you laugh. When you are animated, it is much easier to remain calm.

10. Take a day off

If I fight like crazy not to take a day off, I know for sure that I need it. If I can overcome myself and spend a whole day away from work, I always come back calmer, more confident and filled with fresh ideas.

11. Don't forget to breathe

When my children were very young, we helped them calm down by teaching them to breathe from their belly. It still works - for them and for me. Breathing from your diaphragm helps relieve tension immediately and gives you a couple of minutes to calm down. Often this time is enough to assess the situation and regain a sense of control.

During proper belly breathing, your belly will literally rise and fall. To practice, place your hand on your stomach. Inhale through your nose and see if your hand rises as you inhale. Hold your breath for a few counts and exhale slowly.

12. Reflect on quotes that can help calm your mind.

“You are heaven. Everything else is just weather." Pema Chodron


“A calm, focused mind, not aimed at harming others, is more powerful than any physical force in the universe.” Wayne Dyer.


“It’s no use rushing life. If I live on the run, then I live wrong. My habit of rushing will not lead to anything good. The art of living is to learn to give time to everything. If I sacrifice my life for the sake of haste, it will become impossible. Ultimately, procrastination means taking the time to think. This means taking time to think. Without haste, you can get everywhere.” Carlos Petrini is the founder of the “slow food” movement.


“The single most important reason to remain calm is that calm parents hear more. Restrained, receptive parents are the ones whose children keep talking." Mary Pipher.


“Keep calm, serenity, always control yourself. Then you will understand how easy it is to be at peace with yourself.” Paramahansa Yogananda.

In stressful situations, a person may not control himself and do a bunch of unnecessary things. You need to learn to control your emotions, always understand what you are doing and whether it is right.

Many psychologists recommend work on your self-esteem and not dramatize what is happening. You need to convince yourself that you are a very strong and strong person who cannot be broken. Also, don’t stress yourself out in stressful situations—this will only complicate everything.

How to maintain calm and composure?

1. Something positive. In any situation that is unpleasant for you, look for something positive. This will help you get distracted and realize that you have not made any serious mistakes.

2 . Don't let doubts into your life. Instead of constantly scolding yourself and escalating the situation, say a few kind words to yourself. Search various sources for iconic phrases that have helped many great people cope with crisis situations. In fact, there are a great many such expressions and aphorisms; everyone can find the most suitable one for themselves. Remember, you have probably already been in difficult situations when you looked just as desperately into the future. You managed it then, so today, now you can do everything. Remember exactly what especially helped you survive, overcome past adversity, learn from your past experience.

3. Breathing. When you feel intense fear, you will need to take a few deep breaths. This will help relieve anxiety, tension and tune into a normal rhythm.

4. Do yoga, meditation and exercise. These are the best ways to relieve stress and be calm all day. It will be enough to devote 20-30 minutes a day to maintain composure in any situation.

5. Favorite hero. Surely you have a favorite hero who brilliantly coped with his difficulties, and you always turn to him for help. If there is no hero, then find him. Let him become your advisor. See how he copes with difficulties, what helps him, what guides him. Remember what phrases he says that make your body crawl (this, by the way, is a sure sign that these are the words that will help you the most right now). It will be even better if this advisor is from your close circle. Then the real person will give even more strength, since he is not from the movies, but sits here and shares his experience.

6. The right words. In nervous situations, it is recommended to use the following words: “I am strong”, “I can handle it”, “Nothing bad happened”, “I am much stronger than this”, etc. Such verbal formulations can help you overcome fear and also give you strong confidence.

7. Aspiration. Your desire to solve difficult situations will help you. Treat anything difficult like just another math problem to be solved. You have a piece of paper and a pen in your hands, and what you write or which path you choose depends only on you. The most interesting thing is that you can always try several ways until you find exactly what you need.

Panic attacks

In many cases, there is a feeling of intense fear caused by some specific places or situation. This could very well be an elevator, an airport, a school. Anything. Mostly among the fairer sex, the peak of panic attacks lasts 10-20 minutes. But there are times when they last up to an hour or more.

You may feel like you are going to die. But try to remember how many times this has happened before. It may seem to you that you are about to stop breathing, but of course this will not happen, although shortness of breath may be observed. All these alarming symptoms are false. Feelings of loss of control are also a false alarm. In short, when you know your symptoms well, the easier you will overcome these attacks.

How to stay calm - video