How to find a way out of a hopeless situation: conducting self-analysis, identifying mistakes, setting goals, drawing up a plan and advice from psychologists. How to find a way out of a difficult situation

Date: 2015-05-13

A variety of, sometimes even unimaginable, situations can happen in a person’s life. And we cannot even imagine what awaits us tomorrow. In everyday troubles and worries, we rarely think about our security. Usually we begin to “cross ourselves” and “spread straw” when thunder is already thundering over our heads and we have to retreat not to prepared positions, but into unknown darkness. More often than not, it seems like you are falling into an abyss. In the song we all know, there are these words: “...love will unexpectedly come, and every evening will immediately become surprisingly good.” And when trouble unexpectedly strikes, what then? Then the sun fades for us, the earth begins to disappear from under our feet, and it seems to us that no one and nothing can help us.

When a person is unhappy, he becomes vulnerable and troubles “stick” like a magnet. Usually in such cases we say that trouble does not come alone. A confused person begins to be tormented by two primordially Slavic questions: “What to do?” and “Who is to blame?” More precisely, on the contrary: “Who is to blame?” and only then - “What to do?” As always, most of us begin to analyze the situation by looking for someone to blame for our misfortunes, rather than by constructive thoughts and steps.

My first rule, which life taught me, is that there is no need to look for those to blame, you need to forgive everyone, you can blame anyone, but first of all you need to blame yourself. Strength will be needed to search and fight, for the necessary exit and recovery.

You can blame the whole world for your troubles, then huddle in a corner and wait for everything to resolve itself. Usually they do this, because they do not try to deal with the problems that have arisen, but only try to “forget” them, putting them on the farthest shelf in the subconscious in the hope that a wizard will fly in and a miracle will happen, and the problem will disappear on its own. But nothing good will happen in this case. Therefore, parents must create a relationship based on the child’s trust in them in order to be aware of problems and always come to the rescue in time and indicate a way out of this situation.

You must pull yourself together. Get your act together. Start analyzing the situation. Call everyone you can for help. Never think that your problems are indifferent to your loved ones. After all, they love you and will definitely help you with advice and concrete action. There must be a person nearby who will lend their shoulder to you. Alas, this does not always happen.

The Bible says: “Forgive and it will be given to you” - remember? You need to ask not only your family, friends and acquaintances. First of all, pray for help to the Lord and your highest patrons. If you don't have your own temple, try to find one. If possible, go around all the temples that are nearby and you will want to stay in some of them.

Maybe you will find your place in an icon close to your soul, in the only temple near your home. You will find this place, your soul will tell you, it will definitely respond to it. The main thing you need to do is go and ask. Sincerely ask for forgiveness, help and intercession from your patrons. It is better to read prayers (and if you are an atheist, then affirmations) than to delve into sad thoughts or become discouraged. In other words, try to control your thoughts. If you are unable to think about something productive, read prayers and your consciousness will gradually begin to clear up, and the necessary decisions, ideas, assumptions and hopes will appear in your head.

You need to learn to relax emotionally and physically. Try meditation. You can relax in your favorite ways. You can concentrate your attention

Firstly, on how you breathe;

Secondly, how your body relaxes. First, tense all your muscles, and then relax. Do this gradually, starting with the soles of your feet and ending with the neck and facial muscles;

Thirdly, on some image or sound. Perhaps it will be the image of falling snow, which decorates the earth, or the sound of the surf. Robin Sharma's book "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari" describes the "admiring the rose" technique.

If you wish and with the capabilities of the Internet, you can choose many such techniques - choose which one suits you best. Yoga can help well, no matter where you practice at home or in a specially created club. Choose the exercises you like and perform them to the accompaniment of pleasant music. For relaxation, there are also special recordings with the sounds of nature: the sound of rain, the sound of the sea surf.

Water. Yes, ordinary water, or rather water treatments. Try taking the baths you like, for example, relaxing, soothing, pine, sea salt and aromatic oils, etc. Make a holiday for your soul and body, go to the sauna or Russian bath. Swim in the pool, feel like a goldfish, and through the strain on your muscles, your nerves and thoughts will come into order. A douche and a shower will help you relax, calm and strengthen you.

Walks. If you have someone to walk and talk with, that's good. And if there is no such interlocutor, it’s okay, you can take a walk alone. But choose a medium or fast pace of movement, it should depend on how trained you are, and come back with a little muscle fatigue. Choose a route so that you can walk by the river, in the park, or walk along quiet streets.

Has a good effect on our psychological state plant care: planting trees, transplanting seedlings, weeding and other chores. If you do not have the opportunity to work in the garden beds, then look through books, magazines, catalogs on gardening and floriculture, and admire the beauty of nature.

There is another great way to distract yourself from difficult and unpleasant situations - watch your favorite movies, read books that give you pleasure.

If you have accumulated a lot of problems and your health has deteriorated, but you have no time to deal with them, start right now. You need to start with a course of preventive treatment for your illness, even if there is no exacerbation. After all, it manifests itself in a stressful situation, when the disease is chronic, and then it is not worth delaying treatment.

Shopping is a great way to overcome the stress of difficult life circumstances; it is well suited for both women and men. We advise you to go shopping, find what you dreamed of (a unique set of knitting needles or a spinning rod for fishing) or spontaneously treat yourself to some incredible gift.

When you like something, buy it right now and be happy. And it doesn’t matter whether it’s gold earrings, a diamond ring, a stylish suit, tie, car or... a toy. Please yourself, but if the desire does not arise, then please your loved one, child or anyone around you.

You need to fulfill your intangible dream. If you have long dreamed of jumping with a parachute, walking barefoot in the snow, planting a garden, riding a yacht, standing on your head, giving away boring things, learning to play the piano, getting a turtle or a puppy, going to Venice or the countryside? Take action now.

The main thing is not to focus your attention on the problem, do not give yourself entirely to it, but realize the opportunity to put your thoughts and feelings in order. Analyze everything and take a reasonable step to resolve the situation or realize the need for your existence in other circumstances.

Through prayer, nature walks, meditation, pool activities, flower gardening, and watching your favorite movies, your mind will little by little lead you on the right path. All unpleasant circumstances will turn the other way towards you and then joyful and necessary events will begin for you. Your life will begin to change for the better, a great opportunity and chance for success will appear.

Thanks to the Lord's guidance, with the help of loved ones and your calm and positive mood, a door will open to you that you had not previously suspected.

This door will help you not only get out of a difficult situation, but will also become the entrance to your new, exciting, beautiful and happy life.

An example of how to get out of a hopeless situation! A way out of a hopeless situation, where is it? Is there a way out of a hopeless situation? Many people, including you, once found themselves in what you thought was a hopeless situation, but then found a solution and everything was resolved. The most important thing is not to give in to panic, it is inside us and does not allow us to concentrate and relax in order to soberly assess the situation. The reason for writing this article was a call this morning from a woman who is a subscriber and reader of the legal blog - “RAA Law”. She told me about her difficult situation and we agreed that she would send me copies of some documents.

The reason for the call was my phrase, which I used on the page with information about the blog. This phrase shook the person into action and gave hope for a way out of her hopeless situation.

What is law?

A law is a situation described from the point of view of the law itself. If you change this situation in one direction or another, then the law will turn in one direction or another. Remember: - in a hopeless situation, there is a way out to another situation, and whether it will be favorable for you depends on how you prepare for it.

I thought for a long time about writing an article, like a cheat sheet or instructions for getting out of hopeless situations. But then I decided that I would just tell you my story (there are many stories, but I will tell only one).

Several years ago, my wife and I collected the necessary documents and submitted them to participate in the young family program. Then this program was just beginning or had already been launched a year ago, but that’s not the point. Literally a year or a year and a half later, I was passing by this office where we submitted documents. I decided to stop by and ask what my line was, because everyone was promised a certificate for a certain amount of money, depending on the number of people. In my case it was about four hundred thousand. Imagine this amount of money for free from the state. Of course, of course there is no freebie and there never has been. Every program, and especially the state program, has very harsh conditions and deadlines. In my case, everything was like that. I won’t mince words, but get to the point. I did not meet the specified deadlines and did not submit documents for the apartment that I was supposed to purchase. As a result, those who did not use the certificate for a young family within the established time frame lost it. Naturally, I’m panicking, as I think. What should I do now, but I don’t want to lose money at all.

So much for the hopeless situation I found myself in. If you want to know how I found a way out of their hopeless situation, then read on...

At first I racked my brains to solve this problem, then my head started to hurt. Since I have been involved in real estate for more than 6 years, and in this area there is one positive point: it is better to come to an agreement than to suffer. Taking advantage of this rule, so to speak, I went to this office again. I explained my situation that I simply missed the deadline and now I’m afraid of losing the certificate for a young family (and you want to know how you can cash the certificate). Together with one woman, we found a solution, or rather, she suggested it to me.

What way out of a hopeless situation did they tell me?

Arriving home, I took the certificate for a young family and put it under running water, wetting it a little, but the paper is thick and does not immediately get wet. Then I rubbed this place with my finger so that the text and quality disappeared in one place (the place can be any).

Then he wrote a statement that when he came home he discovered a leak from the ceiling. As a result, water fell on the table where the certificate for the young family was lying. Then I took the written application and certificate to the office. There they accepted everything from me and after some time they issued a new certificate with an extended period for another period. It’s like I just received a certificate for a young family.

After that, I used the certificate for the young family program.

So ladies and gentlemen, it seemed like a hopeless situation, but it turns out there is a way out and I got it where the entrance is approximately located.

What hopeless situations did you find yourself in, and how did you find a way out of the hopeless situation? I, like many others who come to this page, where there is a way out of a hopeless situation, will be very interested in reading.

Positive psychology 08.10.2016

Dear readers, each of us, at least once in our lives, has found ourselves in crisis situations, and everyone knows that “saving drowning people is the work of the drowning people themselves,” and that, even if everything is very bad, there is still a way out!

And today on the blog I want to present to you a kind of continuation of the topic raised in the article from Marina Tamilova, a teacher, psychologist and person of diverse hobbies. I give the floor to Marina, who this time will share with you her own recipe for getting out of difficult life situations that often abound in our lives.

Dear readers, in today’s article I want to offer you my personal, working, method of pulling yourself out of a dead end in life. No matter how bad you feel, sooner or later you will have to pull yourself together and move forward. I hope I can help you with this...

What's the worst thing in life?

Life often presents a person with surprises: both pleasant and unpleasant. Some have more pleasant things, while others have the opposite. Sometimes people live for years in misfortunes and stress, not just imagined, but very real: an endless series of illnesses, deaths of relatives, impoverishment, family breakdown and even homelessness. Such troubles simply kill a person from the inside, destroying his soul and leading him further and further from unity with the Absolute.

The worst thing in this situation is that many cannot stand it (and they can be understood), they are offended by the whole world and turn away from the Source from which we all came. It is very difficult not to be offended when the most difficult trials befall you. While other people live and enjoy life to the fullest. How to explain to a normal person who is trying to live according to his conscience that all problems come from himself, and people and God have absolutely nothing to do with it.

You should always understand that the life situation you have in the present is the result of your actions or, conversely, inaction in the past. There is no point in being offended by this. A person always has a choice: to be offended or not, to help someone, to return evil for evil or not, to choose this particular person or another as a spouse, to accept a low-paid job and complain about poverty, or to take responsibility for your life and create yourself anew in accordance with your ideas about your own life.

Most often, a person chooses to do nothing because he is scared and does not know what awaits ahead. We are not used to freedom. Especially the older generation, who grew up in the Soviet Union and are accustomed to the fact that everything in life is written down and understandable. At that time, a good education guaranteed employment and good earnings, but now it does not. Many forty-year-old, well-educated people became confused and could not find their place in life, which led to a series of suicides and mental disorders in the 90s.

“Thanks to” perestroika, we lost several generations of “psychological children, teenagers and young men” who simply could not adapt. The more resilient survived and rose up, able to fight for their “place in the sun” both physically and mentally. But only 10% of the population is like that. They are the ones who occupy places on the Forbes lists.

The most difficult thing in our time is for “psychological young people” - these are people, often with several higher educations, very smart and comprehensively educated. Unfortunately, they are used to thinking a lot, but not doing. That is why they are at very low levels of society, and sometimes below the poverty line, if they were unable to adequately “sell” their intellect. In general, most people behave as if they have 500 years left to live, as Bill Gates once put it.

Life's dead end. What to do? How to find a way out of a difficult situation

There are several options:

• go to people for help;
• help someone who is worse off;
• carry out general cleaning of the house;
• get rid of negative thoughts and beliefs;
• forgive everyone;
• stop being offended altogether;
• get out of your comfort zone;
• take responsibility for your life.

The last item on this list is the most important. You need to understand that no one, instead of you, will create you anew or make you a completely different person.

They can help you financially, if you’re lucky, they can help you with work, but no one, instead of you, will mold you into a new strong personality who will be able to live by your own rules and at the same time succeed. Nobody argues that it is difficult. Especially when there is emotional instability. Periods of inspiration and activity are replaced by times of complete despair and the feeling that nothing will ever work out, and it is better to “go with the flow”, leaving everything as it is. And now specifically what you personally need to do to change your life.

Mapping out our life

Sit in silence and write down in detail what you want in life. Do not be shy. For example, if you want a yacht and a villa in Italy, then write, no matter how stupid and unrealistic it all may seem to you.

Visualization

Find bright pictures of your future life, stick them on a large sheet of whatman paper along with your photographs in luxurious interiors next to a handsome prince or princess. Whatman paper needs to be hung in the most visible place in your apartment. This is very inspiring.

Looking for inspiration

Find music and meditation that inspires you personally on the Internet and listen to it every day.

What about grievances?

Get rid of all grievances honestly and be sure that if you don’t do this, it’s the same as “to spite the conductor” - buy a ticket and walk. It is the accumulated grievances and the old rubbish of unfinished affairs and desires that does not allow you to move forward. If you are a Christian, go to church often and pray. For some, this helps a lot in difficult situations. Confess, take communion, light candles and pray for everyone who has offended you. This will bring invaluable benefits to your soul.

Moments of kickbacks

In moments of “kickbacks”, when you want to roar and do nothing, sit and roar, break dishes, throw things around, dance until you drop to let off steam. And when the hysteria ends, put things in order and start all over again. Over time, such disruptions will become less and less common. Everyone has them. It is your EGO that resists releasing you into a new bright life. Not only the EGO resists, but also the egregor of the negativity that you have been accumulating for years. Egregors are unique energy fields to which each of us is connected. Egregors feed on your emotions. If you live mostly in negativity, then you attract negative egregors to yourself, who do not benefit from you changing.

Little steps and baby steps

Do a little something every day to move towards your goal. Don't be upset because you can't do it. Sooner or later it will work out if you are persistent enough and don’t stop halfway. If you don’t regularly create yourself and your life, then life, the environment and other people will create you, and they will do it in such a way that you will not like it at all.

Our action plan

Make a plan for your actions in the real world and a list of psychological practices that you need to perform every day to get out of a crisis situation. Exercise helps you move forward and neutralize fears, anxiety and pessimism. Also include regular physical activity in your daily schedule, since your body is the “temple of the soul.” The better your body is, the more energy, will and strength you have to create your new life.

Just start doing

It must be said that many people do everything I wrote about above, but never move on to real action, unable to move themselves at all. This happens because your thoughts are still negative. Subconsciously, you do not yet believe in yourself and feel that you are unworthy of change.

What to do about it? It will take time for you to develop the habit of replacing each of your negative thoughts with 2-3 positive ones. For example: “I won’t succeed” you can replace with “I am God’s beloved child, and all his blessings are created for me”, “if God is for me, then who is against me?”, “I always succeed because that God directs all my actions.”

For atheists and representatives of other religions, I note that the word God here means the Creator of all things, the Universe, which exists independently of any beliefs and religions created by man. This is the Absolute, which is above everything and which is the most powerful energy of unconditional love from which we all came.

In addition to cleansing your thoughts, you will also need to cleanse your body, which is also accustomed to experiencing suffering. Slags and toxins accumulate in the body not only from alcohol, nicotine and junk food, which we all consume, especially in moments of psychological stress and melancholy. Negativity from corresponding mental thought forms also gets stuck in the body. We feel it in tense muscles, a distorted and gloomy face, and chronic diseases. That is why massage, releasing body blocks and physical exercises must be made your constant companions on the path to a brighter future.

Effective practices for getting out of life's impasse

In conclusion, I will give several effective first aid methods when the thought that “everything is bad and will always be like this” has once again struck:

• smile - to let the body know that everything is fine;
• jump - to shake and invigorate the body;
• walking, sitting and living only with a straight back - this is fundamentally important, because... energy flows through the spine;
• pinch yourself by the little finger - to pull you out of bad thoughts;
• to the question “how are you?” ALWAYS answer “the best!”;
• take different routes home and to work, preferably on foot, to create a feeling of change and vigor.

When you learn to pull yourself out of a state of melancholy using such methods, you can more closely focus on tuning into the positive wave of your inner world using the techniques indicated in this article.

I thank Marina for her thoughts. On my own behalf, I want to say that you should never give up, no matter what happens in your life. If something happens, these are all just our lessons. This means that for some reason we need to go through everything. I've been through so much myself. And every time I looked for a way out of their crisis.

Perhaps many will say, after reading the steps, all this is trivial, I did it, it didn’t help me, nothing can be changed, and some of these thoughts will continue. I would like to emphasize this point: when a person is stressed, it is very rare that he himself will be able to get out of the crisis. Emotions just run wild and prevent us from thinking. The exception is people who already have a lot of wisdom, a lot of knowledge about our work on ourselves.

Do not isolate yourself under any circumstances! Look for a person, perhaps a professional, who will be close to you, whom you can hear. This could be a psychologist, a wise friend, or useful useful books. And ask the Universe for help. I remember how, in the most difficult times, I would go to the window in the evening, look at the starry sky, ask questions and ask for strength to cope.

There is no one recipe for everyone. We are all different. But you definitely need to look for something that will help you get out of a crisis situation. This is our path.

And the most important thing for all of us, as Marina correctly wrote, is to make our CHOICE. This applies to everything. And health, and wonderful work worthy of you, and a loved one nearby, and simple joys. I wish everyone a worthy choice, wisdom and steps, work in this direction.

Dear readers, it is difficult to capture the immensity in one article. If you're having a hard time, check out our section. I am sure that you will find a lot of useful things for yourself. Perhaps this is where your work on yourself will begin, including getting out of the crisis.

And more news from me from our creative team. Our autumn issue of the magazine “Scents of Happiness” - Wings of Autumn - has been released. You can find out everything here.

Autumn issue of Scents of Happiness

And for the soul we will listen to Richard Clayderman Mariage d'amour. Relax with pleasant music.

see also

19 comments

Answer

Elina
09 Feb 2017 at 17:33

Answer

No matter who you are and no matter what you achieve, trouble can always happen, and you will feel like life will never get better. However, remember that it's your attitude that matters, and here's how you can change it.

Zen Buddhist adept and Harvard professor Robert Waldinger, who leads a study on adult development, followed 724 men for 75 years to understand what makes our lives happy.

It turns out that the basis of happiness is inclusion in a community and healthy relationships. To feel happy, you need to live surrounded by people who are ready to help.

Here are six ways to cope with the strong emotions that often accompany life's challenges. Sometimes they don't help directly solve the problem, but they provide clarity of vision, and that's a lot. Regardless of the outcome, your decisions will not be out of fear - they will be informed.

1. Stop Negative Self-Talk

The first step is to let go of limiting delusions, but it is equally important to stop negative self-talk by asking yourself:

• What facts for and against are available to me?
• Am I relying on facts or my own interpretations?
• Perhaps I'm jumping to negative conclusions?
• How do I know if my thoughts are true?
• Is it possible to look at this situation differently?
• Is the situation really as dire as I think it is?
• Does this mindset help me achieve my goals?

Sometimes it is enough to admit that you are indulging in self-deprecation to look at the problem from a different perspective.

2. Don't lose perspective

Your current problem in the context of your entire life is a mere trifle, it does not define you as a person, it is not a reflection of your entire history, your strengths and achievements.

We often see only what is right in front of us, forgetting about all the past positive experiences. Keep a holistic view of your life in mind and ask yourself:

• What's the worst that could happen? Is this likely?
• What about the best?
• What is most likely to happen?
• What will this mean in five years?
• Perhaps I am making too much of this issue?

3. Learn from your reactions

“Between stimulus and response there is a gap, in this gap we have the freedom to choose our reaction. Our development and happiness depend on this choice,” Viktor Frankl.

How do you respond to a problem? What advice would you give to your best friend in this situation? At every moment we can completely control our reaction to any stimulus, and today psychology knows five ways to improve control over the reaction in a difficult situation:

• Think about what kind of person you would like to become
• Think about the meaning and origin of your reactions
• See the results of your actions
• Imagine the best answer
• Learn to treat yourself with compassion

4. Learn from the other party's reactions.

Harvard researchers have shown that using empathy in disagreements is essential for conflict resolution and is a critical prerequisite for successful negotiation outcomes.

5. Assess the situation from the perspective of an outside observer

If you are an observer, then you can step outside the situation, put aside your emotions and observe your reaction.

With this level of self-awareness, even when you are in the middle of a conflict, you are aware of yourself and can separate your personality from the situation.

6. Look outside for help.

In any situation where your own experience is lacking, seek wise advice. Put your ego aside and ask for critical perspectives and constructive feedback, and once you've accomplished the task, help others learn from your experience.

Remember that you and your problem are not a single whole. The problem is just one aspect of your journey, and it is also a source of growth. Don't run away from challenges, because they make us better. And when it seems that everything is lost, remember: this too shall pass.

Prepared by Taya Aryanova