Permanent mistress - is it serious? It is better to be a permanent lover than a temporary one. A permanent lover is who she is for a man.

For a lawful wife, a constant mistress is a great danger. The appearance of a husband of another woman puts the marriage in jeopardy. The fate of the family depends on two, and you are able to push your lover to the right decision.

A constant lover is first and foremost a rival, and no matter how dangerous she is, you must fight for your happiness. If your spouse is still with you, then everything is not serious. After our advice, you will be able to sort out your feelings and return the wrong one!

No one is immune from adultery. Dry statistics says that 59% of the representatives of the stronger sex at least once cheated on their soul mate, while for the fair half this figure is lower - 41%. Cheating leads to divorce only 15% of the time.

Reasons for infidelity

• Cooled feelings between spouses.

This is due to habituation. This problem occurs frequently if people do not rest from each other.

• Desire for something new.

This reason is also associated with getting used to each other and to family life in general. Everyone needs variety both in everyday life and in bed.

• Life of friends.

There are a large number of divorced or free representatives of the stronger sex in the country who lead an active life, meet girls (sometimes several). For a married person, this can cause envy. If a man is 100% satisfied with his sex life, he can show his friends how good it is to be a family man.

• Revenge by treason for infidelity.

Cheating on the part of the weaker sex is common in order to take revenge on your soul mate. The husband is also able to take this step.

• Dissatisfaction with your sexual partner.

Often with the advent of a child, sexual life becomes more modest. Sex becomes monotonous and rarely fantasies.

• Prolonged abstinence.

If a person experiences prolonged abstinence: both psychological and physiological problems appear. The husband can go "to the left" to "let off steam". No need to punish the lack of sex.

• Alcohol.

Every body reacts to alcohol differently. Many people are out of control. This is not an excuse.

A permanent mistress is more likely to destroy a family. A man is attached to his mistress, as well as to you. A married man's mistress becomes his second wife; also waiting for him, preparing dinner, and sometimes raising a child. A mistress can take your loved one away from you by using tricks.

But, if the beloved is still with you, then all is not lost. Betrayal can come to any family, regardless of financial and social status. Our advice will help you restore your old relationship with your lover and save your family.

1. Understand yourself!

Understand whether you really want to return the person who cheated on you. Think not about public opinion or the fate of children. Rely only on your desires. If yes, then go ahead for the heart of your beloved!

2. You are not alone!

When a similar situation happens, the representative of the weaker sex often closes in her own thoughts, she is scared and it seems that the whole world is opposed to her. No need to despair! Think about the people and things that make you smile and get out of bed every morning. For their sake, you must get together and not lose heart! You don't want your kids to see you sad and depressed, do you? Of course not! A constant lover is not a reason to give up.
Don't forget about your friends! You must have someone you can rely on.
With support, you can begin the "operation to restore the family."

3. Study your opponent!

Understand what exactly the beloved found and why she is better and worse than you. Pay attention to its advantages and disadvantages. The hardest thing in this case is to cope with your emotions, but you will succeed. Start working on yourself.

No need to call her or write SMS, do not make scandals. This can only aggravate the relationship with your loved one.

4. Look at yourself in the mirror!

Mommy, on a long maternity leave, forgets to take care of herself: “Why do you put on makeup or wash your hair? No one will see this, but the husband loves it anyway! Your husband sees thousands of beautiful women passing by every day, and involuntarily compares it with what awaits him at home. A mistress is always well-groomed and beautiful.

Muslim women, looking at our women, do not understand: how can you put on makeup for other men, but walk in a greasy robe at home in front of your own? For some reason, after the wedding, women calm down and stop taking care of themselves properly. Laziness leads to dire consequences.

Take care of yourself! Change your hair, get a manicure, go on a diet or go to the gym, buy a couple of new things. Learn to like yourself. If you are not delighted with yourself, then how can your spouse want you? Think about it!
If a beautiful woman is next to a man, it makes no sense for him to look at others.

5. Don't whine or criticize!

Your loved one earns money all day at an unloved job, constantly on the nerves (again compiling reports, the boss yelled for being late). In the evening he comes home, and there, instead of a loving wife, a “circular saw” is waiting for him. Count how many times a day you criticize your missus with or without reason. I can bet that the number will come up is not small. Would you like to live like this? He is looking for warmth and understanding on the side.
Try not to criticize, but find a reason to praise your spouse. Try to be gentle with your opinion. Gently help your loved one solve any problem.

Guide, don't force! The desire to praise the husband should be sincere and related to his work or hobby. Every man wants his wife to share his hobbies.

6. Smile more often!

Give a smile to your family and the whole world. Learn to enjoy the simple things! It is much more pleasant to look at a smiling woman than at an eternally dissatisfied one. A smile is the key to every person's heart. Your loved one is no exception!

7. Cleanliness is not the main thing!

Sometimes when raising children or in pursuit of perfect cleanliness, you forget about your lover and do not pay attention to him at all. But a man also wants warmth and affection! Try to hug and kiss your loved one more often, say nice words. You should not follow him around, blowing off dust particles, but you can do little things like get up to make coffee in the morning or buy him something for no reason (not necessarily something expensive, but from the heart). Don't spend all your time cleaning and cooking. Spend it on taking care of your family.

8. Don't take it all on yourself!

There is only one man in the house and it is not you. In any matter, the man should have the last word, only then he will feel significant. This does not mean at all that you should relieve yourself of all responsibility, but it is still worth giving it more to your soulmate. Allow yourself to be a little girl next to your man. Husband will appreciate it.

9. Find yourself a hobby!

Try to find common interests with your life partner (if they have not accumulated over the years of living together). You should not forget about yourself either, find a hobby, show your soul mate that you are also an interesting person. Interest your husband in yourself, then he will not even think about having a mistress. Fulfill your childhood dream: take up dancing, go to vocal lessons, embroider a picture. Stop postponing everything.

10. Diversify your sex life!

Often it is because of dissatisfaction in bed that a man decides to cheat. He lacks the passion or activity of a partner. Try some kind of role-playing game or do it in an unfamiliar place. Think not only about yourself, but also about what your loved one would like. Pamper him without denying the most frank fantasies. If everything goes well in the sexual life, the family life will also improve.

11. Make him jealous!

Let your spouse know that you are not an attachment to him. He needs to see that you are interesting to someone else. Men are owners and protect "their territory". So you can remind your husband of the time when he wooed you. This will improve your relationship. The main thing is not to cross the line, do not confuse light flirting with another man and betrayal on your part. This can lead to irreparable consequences.

The most important

A permanent lover cannot destroy a truly strong and loving family. You must learn to hear and listen to each other, but for this you need to work. None of us is immune from adultery.

Replenishment of basic needs explains why men need lovers. This applies not only to the sphere of intimate relationships. A stamp in a passport does not make a person happy by default. This requires the work of both partners, their interaction and the desire to become closer to each other. If this is not in the family, a man begins to look for the one who can make him happy.

Scientists have found that a person belongs to the group of polygamous mammals, although his ability to build other forms of social ties is preserved. This is one of the main reasons for male infidelity. A sociological survey conducted with the participation of 1000 people showed that 41% of men have mistresses. Another 10% admitted that they decided to have a relationship with other women, but did not consider them as permanent partners. Psychologists decided to find out why a man needs a mistress. Here are the responses we received:

1. A third of the representatives of the stronger sex had a mistress as a result of a feeling of falling in love.
2. Half of the men surveyed need a mistress for enchanting sex, as they are not satisfied with their wives in the intimate life.
3. A small percentage of the men surveyed justified their relationship on the side of the desire to dispel boredom.

Women are indignant: why do men need lovers if there is an affectionate and caring wife? Many men get a woman on the side, even if everything is fine at home. How can one explain male inconstancy and why do husbands need relationships on the side?

Permanent lover - who is she

It is difficult to say unequivocally why a married man needs a mistress - after all, each of them has his own reasons for treason. A lover is not just a sexual partner, it is certain feelings, status and lifestyle.

There are mistresses who do not stay long in a man's life, but there are also those who go hand in hand with him for many years, almost like a legal wife.

The constant mistress of a married man is convenient because you can come to her in moments of despair, when the wife does not understand, the boss presses and the children study poorly. She will understand and warm on her chest, that is why she is valued. It is not profitable for a family man to have several mistresses either financially or morally.

But still, why do you need a mistress? What do husbands lack with their wives?

What is missing in a man

As practice shows, the representatives of the stronger sex, for the most part, run to their mistress, trying to hide from family problems. Even ideal wives who love and support their spouse, they manage to cheat, which causes complete misunderstanding on the part of the ladies. After all, it would seem, why do men need a mistress when they are completely satisfied at home? But it's all about the difference between wives and mistresses.

It is difficult for him to choose between his wife and his mistress.

A woman is the keeper of the hearth, she makes sure that the fire in this hearth does not go out. The man is selfish and selfish. If something did not suit him with one woman, he will go looking for another, in which he will warm and calm. After all, why should a man worry and strain because of these earthly problems that he is loaded with at home?

But why can't you solve the problems that have arisen with your wife instead of running away from them under the wing of a strange woman? The fact is that in the head of men, a family and a pleasant pastime with a beautiful sexy woman are clearly distinguished. Simply put, for him "love" is not the same as "sex", these concepts are on opposite sides of the barricades.

How men imagine the ideal wife:

• she is an excellent cook;
• maintains order in the house;
• deftly managed with children and educates them;
• she deifies her husband and never "nags" him how much in vain.

And here is what an ideal lover looks like in the eyes of a man:

• she always looks gorgeous;
• ready for any experiments in bed;
• always dresses "from the needle";
• does not clog a man's head with domestic and family problems.

It is possible to combine a wife and a mistress, but in real life this is hardly possible. After all, household chores and children take a lot of time and effort, so often there is simply no way to be a sexy beauty and make miracles in bed.

Why Husbands Have Mistresses

Let's study in detail the question of why men have mistresses: the psychology of a married man is different from the psychology of a bachelor who does not think about risk. He does not need to report to anyone and nothing keeps him near one woman.

With the "married" it's different. Having entered into marriage, a person assumes certain obligations, the violation of which is fraught with condemnation and loss of the reputation of an exemplary family man. Therefore, such men make lovers meaningfully and carefully hide their extramarital affairs.

Sexual dissatisfaction

The main motive for men's adventures "to the left", if there is a wife, is dissatisfaction in sexual life. Most often, it is difficult for a husband to understand that his wife may not be far from having sex, because:

• she works just like him;
• the whole day puts the house in order;
• prepares meals for the whole family;
• looks after the children.

By evening, fatigue accumulates and the only thing a woman wants is to have a good rest, and not to please her husband.

The vast majority of men, especially those under 30, want intimacy, if not daily, then at least 2-3 times a week. If the wife does not satisfy his needs, then the husband will hasten to find an outlet on the side.

The main mistake of wives is that they completely unload their husbands from housekeeping and family life. Having shouldered everything on her fragile shoulders, the woman herself does not understand that she is giving her husband an indulgence, and he will spend excess energy with his mistresses.

Shift any household responsibilities to your husband, let him also participate in family life. Then you will be less tired of everyday life, there will be time for self-care and small joys. With a new lifestyle, your desire for love pleasures will return again, which will certainly please your husband. After all, sex is important for both men and women.

Sexual experiments

Also, men tend to look at other women if they are not satisfied with sex with their spouse. Something may not suit both, but people are afraid to open up to each other, believing that this is either not important or may offend a partner.

But sex is one of the foundations of the relationship between husband and wife. Therefore, it is so important to solve certain problems that have arisen in sexual life in time.

Try to find a compromise in experiments. Go to a meeting.

The quality of sex can also be affected by the unwillingness of the wife to diversify her intimate life:

• oral caresses;
• anal sex;
• role-playing games;
• various poses, etc.

Stiffness and restraint in this matter can destroy relations with her husband and push him to look for a more accommodating and ardent person. If over and over again a man receives a categorical answer to his proposal, this can be the reason why a man takes a mistress. Why don't you try to make concessions, try something that is not out of the box, or offer your ideas and fantasies. It brings spouses closer.

No love for wife

Another common reason why a man takes a mistress if he is married is the lack of love. It is possible that once the passion was seething over the edge, but over the years, some couples cool down to each other. Then it is not so much about love, but about the habit and unwillingness to get divorced due to some reasons:

• common children;
• credit, mortgage;
• household convenience;
• fear of divorce, etc.

In this situation, a man seeks to find at least something that will please him and bring pleasure, and often another woman becomes such a “light in the window”.

The constant lover of a married man, in most cases, seeks to take her boyfriend out of the family, because his status as a “leaving-coming” man does not quite suit her. But the traitor himself is in no hurry to leave his family and his hard-earned property.

Only 3% of men are ready to leave their wife and children for their mistress, the remaining 97% will never divorce, even if they promise their lovers to do so.

Attracts forbidden fruit

The desire to taste the "forbidden fruit" is another popular reason why married men have mistresses. With legal wives, husbands do not experience that buzz and extreme, because they do not need to be afraid of exposure.

The possibility of being caught excites a man, makes his every meeting with another woman piquant and dangerous. Many husbands who have tied the knot really lack these feelings, a man is looking for passion and inspiration, which is why he decides to cheat.

wife is not attractive

Sometimes the presence of a mistress can be explained by the unwillingness of the wife to maintain her beauty and sexuality. A man, as you know, loves with his eyes, and it is much more pleasant for him to see an attractive and well-groomed woman next to him than one who does not care about her appearance at all.

Only my husband is at home, you can relax.

To boost confidence

With a mistress, a mature man feels younger. It is very important for him to keep his ego at an adequate level, and with a young girl this figure skyrockets. The company of a charming lady makes a man be in good shape, he must not relax, as he needs to correspond to the energetic "youth".

For older men, it is extremely important to stay sexually “afloat” as long as possible - this is what a mistress means to him.

Why does he love his wife and cheat

A fairly common situation is when a husband takes a constant mistress, but at the same time continues to love his wife. Someone will doubt: it is impossible to love and change, but male psychology is arranged differently than female psychology. We do not understand why men need mistresses when they have everything for happiness: a cozy home, an agreeable wife, beloved children. But this is not enough for her husband to be completely satisfied.

Because of what, after all, a man walks “to the left” if he loves his wife:

1. Due to the lack of attention from the spouse, men take drastic measures in order to make up for the missing affection and tenderness. This usually affects women in high positions, or celebrities who spend little time at home due to constant business trips, tours or busy schedules.
2. He found out about the betrayal of his wife and wants the same coin. Wounded pride does not allow a man to sleep peacefully, so he cheats on his beloved for the triumph of justice.
3. It happens that feelings for his wife are deep, but sexually everything is rotten. Even despite the kinship of souls and strong affection, a married man cannot do anything with his instincts, so he gets himself a mistress solely for the sake of satisfying his sexual needs.

A man is looking for a mistress in the event that he does not receive something in a relationship. And what exactly depends on the man himself.

How to make sure your husband has a mistress

If you already have some suspicions about the hubby, do not rush to panic and despair. To be sure of your husband's infidelity, read the following facts and, if most of them apply to you, then, unfortunately, the likelihood of infidelity is high:

Why a man gets himself a mistress is something that almost all women who are faced with the betrayal of a loved one seriously think about. Each woman decides for herself whether to forgive the traitor or break off relations with him. But one thing is worth remembering: the former trust is unlikely to ever be returned and, perhaps, life with a traitor will turn into real torture for both you and him, because he will feel guilty before you.

When asked why a married man needs a mistress, it is impossible to answer unequivocally and bring absolutely all traitors to this conclusion. But one thing can be said with certainty - even a beautiful, smart, wise and clean wife can be deceived, and her husband will never cheat on a grouchy, unkempt and eternally dissatisfied lady and will not even think about it. So no one can know what we will have to face in life.

Many women are interested in the question of why men have mistresses. Especially when initially nothing overshadowed the marriage union, there was sincere, true love. But somewhere she gave a crack and everything went awry.

In general, if we consider the psychology of a married man, then if he has real and sincere feelings for a woman, he naturally will not even think about his mistress. The beloved woman for him will always be in the first place, from the fact that she is called beloved, that there are no others.

The only problem is that not everyone understands what true love is. If we consider the meaning of this word, then it means a disinterested, selfless interest in another person. The desire to be his support, support, to share with him all the sorrows, troubles, and not just happy moments. The ability to brighten up gray everyday life and develop together.

And when there was no love at all, then over time a new hobby may appear. More vivid, interesting, fascinating, in the form of a relationship with a mistress.

This is especially true when the initial relationship prior to marriage was based solely on sexual interest, attraction, and falling in love.

Such relationships begin passionately, but the passion fades over time, the emotions fade, weaken, and eventually become blunted. Nothing causes emotional excitement, awe, and in order to feel it all again, married men find relationships on the side. but that's not the only reason.

There is another no less significant - disappointment and a desire to get away from problems. This is especially the case when a man idealizes a woman, endows her with the desired qualities, or does not notice shortcomings. But they still show up over time. And then there is a natural desire to find an outlet.

A relationship with a mistress for a married man is a kind of escape from problems. The desire to resurrect dead emotions, to get new impressions. Especially if nothing in family life pleases.

But the relationship with a mistress is inherently easy, not colored by family problems, there is no need to bear responsibility. In addition to the fact that he sees his mistress most often in a good mood, she is always well-groomed, beautiful. Here the very image of a woman is pleasant, light, carefree, then there is already a desire to have a good time with her and often continue the relationship in the same easy and format.

As a result, we can conclude that in a relationship on the side, a married man is looking for something that he does not find in the family and finds in the character of his mistress. She can tie him to exactly what he lacks.

How to become the best mistress of a married man psychology

1. In principle, women who want to become the mistress of a married man should be prepared for the fact that the role of a mistress is not enviable and not permanent. Especially if a married man has something to lose, and he has a lot to do with his wife - money, property, children.
2. But on the other hand, if a woman can give more or become more significant for him, then there is a possibility of continuing the relationship.
3. What does it take to become the best mistress of a married man psychology
4. Find out all his strengths and weaknesses. But this is not necessary for manipulation, if a man notices that he is being manipulated, then it is more likely that he will end the relationship. Knowing his strengths and weaknesses, it is easier to become more significant in his life. And accordingly, show that he means a lot in your life.
5. Next comes the ability to give, just do not confuse it with the ability to please. It just doesn't fit here. The ability to give here means psychologically. After all, every man wants to see that he is needed, appreciated, understood. And the extent to which you give him understanding, attention, spiritual strength, to the extent that it will return to you in the form of affection.
6. It is equally important to always be in good shape. This applies to good health, well-groomed appearance and slim figure and beauty of clothing. It is necessary to make sure that after meeting with you, the man has only the best memories, and the more there are, the stronger he will again be drawn to you.
7. Create an atmosphere of celebration and relaxation for him. After all, if he is drawn to such a relationship, then he is tired of gray everyday life and routine, and he wants new experiences, which he does not receive in the family.
8. Find out more about his life, interests, dreams, and what he lacks. If possible, become a like-minded person for him, a true friend with whom he can share what worries him. One of the rules of psychology says that we like those who understand us, support us, share our thoughts. We usually become attached to such people very quickly.

Married mistress of a married man psychology

More complex and confusing option. Usually this happens when a man and a woman have children, a family, a job, but something is missing in their family life. Everything is perceived as familiar, uninteresting and boring. And then you want new impressions and emotions.

Such relationships can develop in unpredictable ways. They can either break at any moment or continue indefinitely. Since this form of relationship is convenient in that you do not have to bear responsibility, delve into and solve problems on the side.

Meetings take place at a convenient time, there are no obligations. There is more freedom, however, illusory freedom. Since they will not be able to fully reveal their relationship to others and have to hide them.

The younger the man and woman, the easier it is for them to have such relationships and the easier it is to hide. But the older they get, constant secrets, fear that they don’t find out about the relationship, can turn into a neurosis, and a headache.

Psychology of married men in a relationship with a mistress

But if we talk about the psychology of married men in relation to their mistresses, then often the attitude towards them is not serious. After all, the relationship was built on easy communication without obligations, where the main goal was to have a good time, to have fun. But sooner or later they will end, which will immediately affect the relationship.

It doesn’t cost him anything to end a relationship with a woman with whom he has nothing to do. Passion ends, emotions become dull, and if there is no attachment, then it’s not easy for a man to leave a woman. Many men break up with women easily.

True, there is such a type of men who are easily and permanently attached. But these are usually soft men, with a vivid imagination and a fine mental organization, who perceive the world emotionally. But most women call such men weak.

And reach out to the strong, sometimes perceiving the rudeness and rigidity of character as masculinity and strength. Naively believing that with her he would not be the same as with others. With her, he will be a gentle kitten. Only now such men are more guided by the instinct of the male, and his task is, no matter how trite it sounds, in fertilization.

They are alien to the emotional perception of love, this perception is reduced solely to instincts and entertainment. But on the other hand, women are still drawn to brutal men.

As a result, we can conclude that a man who is not endowed with subtle perception, emotionality, gentleness, sincerity, will easily find lovers, leave and find new ones again.

Why does a married man need a mistress psychology

As mentioned above, married men find mistresses in order to:

• Take a break from family problems, everyday life and gray everyday life
• Resurrect lost emotions
• Get new experiences
• Feel the novelty of sexual relations
• Find understanding, an outlet
• Have a relationship without obligations that can be ended at any moment
• It is not excluded the desire to flirt, love adventures

The psychology of the relationship between an unmarried man and his mistress

In general, they are no different from the options described above. Except, if a man is lonely, not spoiled by female attention, and has a soft, sentimental character, then he will quickly and permanently become attached.

And vice versa, if a man is not characterized by emotions and affection, he is spoiled by female attention, then it is unlikely that he will appreciate this relationship. Moreover, some men are characterized by a desire to get new sexual experiences with a new woman. Only relationships built on sexual impressions, passion, are not durable. But here everyone chooses what he likes.

How to stop being the mistress of a married man psychology

If you want to stop being the mistress of a married man, then you will have to put him before a choice. Or he officially recognizes a relationship with you. Or the relationship will have to end.

In the latter case, you will have to delete everything related to a married man. And switch your attention to more interesting events. In principle, many psychologists give such advice. And of course it is very difficult at first. But this happens only at the beginning, especially if you yourself are very accustomed to a man.

But the less contacts, meetings, communication with him, the faster this attachment will leave and die. For the best effect, it is advisable to find yourself a new acquaintance. As the saying goes, a wedge is knocked out with a wedge. That's it a new acquaintance with another man can quickly heal from affection and memories.

What is it like to be the mistress of a married man psychology

In general, the fate of lovers is not enviable. You have to hide a lot, be on the sidelines in the life of a married man and invest a lot in relationships in order to save them.

After all, you will have to create a good atmosphere for meetings, constantly make sure that the man is comfortable and good with you. To make him happy with everything, listen to him, pay attention, and nothing in return. His lion's share of attention will still go to children and family, wife and all relatives. And only then, what remains, then the mistress will receive.

And the mistress will have to constantly invest a lot in relationships in order to maintain the attention of a man. On the one hand, there seems to be nothing wrong. But from the point of view of psychology, when a woman invests a lot of effort for a man. The man begins to take it for granted. It is easy to get and he has nothing to lose.

And another catch is that when a woman invests a lot of effort for a man, the significance of a man for him increases. After all, she did so much for him and she no longer wants to lose him. But for him, the importance of women is reduced. Especially when he did nothing for a woman, what did he have to lose.

This often happens when there is no equality, sincerity, or naturalness in a relationship. And when they are built on the personal, selfish desires of a man to satisfy his passion or other desires, without paying attention to what the mistress wants. Therefore, she will not be in his first place.

Why does a married man need a constant lover psychology articles

Most often, such men get used to, become attached to another woman, but there is not enough strength and confidence to choose who he needs more, a lover or a wife. It is not easy for all men to break off relations with their wife, especially if there are a lot of things that connect them.

The absence of what he lacks in the family, he finds in his mistress. When it is constant, then there are many fewer problems. She can be trusted more, there is no need to look for another mistress again.

Treat permanent mistresses like a second wife. There may already be more responsibility, seriousness, and a desire to help in a difficult situation. But only here the concept of a constant lover is relative. Because nothing in life lasts forever.

For some women, a married man is a diagnosis, and they prudently avoid him. But there are ladies who voluntarily or involuntarily find themselves involved in the "threesome tango". The colors of life have faded. And love is to blame for everything - a feeling from which wings grow behind your back, and words themselves add up to poetry. But everything is wrong with you: you fell in love with a married man. Hands reach for a bottle of sleeping pills, the pillow is wet with tears, delusional thoughts climb into my head. Common sense tells you that if you want to feel good, outsmart the obstinate heart. No love - no suffering. Everything could be so simple, if not for a nasty little "but". Three centuries ago, the French physicist Pascal wrote: "The mind of the heart cannot be understood by the mind." You were invited to be the third So you want to be loved and love the most reliable, the most beautiful, the smartest, the most gentle ... And now you have already met exactly the one from your dreams. But this same man is not free. He is already married, married for a long time and, what a misfortune, not to you. Before you is a typical story of those that happen to thousands of women. Nina met Victor just three weeks ago and she really likes him. She believes that he has a pleasant, open personality and a sensitive nature. Victor is not like Nina's former men - he is much older than her, attentive, affectionate and generous. He invites her to go with him to France. It will be a business trip for him, but they could spend a whole week there and live as "one family." There is only one "but" - Victor is married. He says that this marriage is no longer valid, that he does not sleep with his wife. Victor broadcasts that his wife "has her own life", and that if she found out about Nina, she would not care. Perhaps she would even be glad that Victor is not up to her. So why are they still together? Victor says that they have common property, children, and he would not like to feel guilty for a too hasty divorce. Nina is torn apart. On the one hand, Victor and Paris, and on the other, Victor's wife and his children. Nina doesn't know what to do. Ladies, burned by an affair with a married man, know ... The best memories of a few days in Paris will not outweigh the anguish of one Saturday evening when you sit at home alone waiting for a call and imagine your beloved with his wife and children feasting on fried chicken in their cozy nest. Married men who have mistresses are like shells. One in a million has something valuable inside, the rest are just slugs. All "married men" are prone to petty romances, but at the slightest danger of exposure, they flee. Married men who are having marital problems sometimes use the first single woman they meet as a distraction from their troubles. If his marriage breaks up, then, as a rule, the connection with another woman also stops. There is one old truth: if a man deceives his wife, he can deceive his mistress. When things go too far, a man usually hides behind his wife's back to get rid of the "other woman". A wise woman knows what is stupid: - to think that a bad romance with a married man is better than loneliness; - to consider that a woman certainly needs a man for self-affirmation, even if he is married; - not to live, but to exist in the limbo of a mistress, waiting for the day when a promising groom appears on the horizon. break the triangle If married women had the opportunity to listen to the complaints of their mistresses, even young and "sexy" ones, about how difficult it is to get a married man to divorce, they would be much more calm about the stability of their marriage. Only a very good mistress can steal a husband from the worst wife. It is almost unrealistic that, with a relatively normal relationship with his wife, a man leaves his family, no matter how much he likes his mistress. Attachment to the wife, if they have lived a quiet harmonious life, have children, usually outweighs the passion. Men are less than women guided in their lives by emotions, their mind dominates their feelings. Therefore, married men strive to preserve the former, unchanged, stable state. Maybe you should not have any illusions that you can force a man to divorce against his will? He can decide to take this step only if he himself is internally ready for this, if he believes (it is he who believes, and does not convince you of this) that the previous marriage has exhausted itself, and hopes that with the one who is currently his mistress, will be better than a wife. I don't play these games For ten years now, my friend has been the permanent mistress of a family man. She still does not lose hope of becoming his legal wife. First, he "prepared" his wife for a divorce: you can't just take it and leave home forever. Then he took a time out to let the child calmly go to first grade, with mom and dad. Then his mother's health problems began: her heart could not stand the news of her son's divorce. Then the time came to move into a new apartment ... My unfortunate friend often asks what I would do in her place. I'm tired of telling her that there are no married men for me. I do not rule out the possibility that a young woman and a married man may fall in love. But in a month or two, the "triangle" should fall apart: either he goes to his beloved, or remains in the family. If a man plays two roles for years, he is an egoist, "hanging noodles on the ears" of unfortunate women. What the deceived wife will do is her business. The business of a mistress is to survive disappointment and look for her own, and not someone else's husband. The lover does not seem to want to know that if she is young now, then she will grow old someday, if she is not married, then after some time she will become a wife. If she had seriously thought about it, then something like the following line of reasoning would have turned out. I will "take" him away from the family, but where is the guarantee that in five years the same beauty will not "take" him away from me? A vicious circle constantly arises: a young beauty - a happy wife - a deceived woman. Almost every one of us walks along this path, defined in its sad sequence. And if this circle is broken, then, perhaps, it will be possible to avoid the "last" role. I am proud that I voluntarily and meaningfully withdrew from such a "game". Advice to a young seductress from a married lady If you started an affair with a "married man", then you can only be sorry: you have chosen hard happiness. Who said you can't love someone else's husband? But it would be nice to understand all the tricks and tricks of your chosen one, somehow: - complaints about unbearable suffering with an unloved wife - invite him to stop them at once, leaving the house that is not dear to your heart; - stories about an ugly, angry, stupid wife - try to see her; - recognition that for five years he and his wife have not slept together - ask about the number of bedrooms in the house; - indignation that the "bitch" does not agree to a divorce - offer to talk to her yourself; - fears that she will not let you see the children, - reassure your beloved with a cheerful joke that you are expecting a baby from him; - doubts about where to live, - tell him that the aunt, leaving for America, left you her apartment; - confessions "Lord, how I do not want to leave you today!" - tell me that now you don’t have to do this, since you just talked on the phone with his “chumichka” ... Have you removed the reaction? Now think about yourself, and not about the worries of someone else's cunning uncle. A married man is an expense item. Spending your years... Ask yourself, for what or for whom will you waste your best years? After all, he decided everything about you and his wife back then - during the first month of our acquaintance. And if he had the intention to part with her for the sake of you, he would have done it long ago. Don't forget the most important thing - there are hundreds of men you can conquer. If your feeling hurts you, hurts you, then this is not for you. Because love can and should bring joy to a person, and not give him mental pain. There are beautiful, kind and free men in the world, among them there is one who will make you happy. You will definitely meet him.