A wise man's technique or how to find a way out of a hopeless situation. How to find a way out of a hopeless situation

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We give out advice left and right that there is a way out of any unpleasant situation, and even more than one. We tune in to the positive and try to console others that not everything is as bad as it seems at first glance. But when we ourselves are overwhelmed by troubles that are approaching from all sides, the advice that we ourselves offered looks simply ridiculous and helpless.

What to do in a difficult life situation where you see only one dead end? There are effective tips on what to do in this case.

1. First of all, try to calm down and stop. There is no need to quickly rush headlong into the pool and take incomprehensible actions that can lead to even bigger problems. You need to pause and decide where you are and how you ended up in this position. Take time to reflect on why it turned out the way it did and not something completely different. When you can find the entrance, then you will find the exit in one moment.

2. Effective advice on how to get out of a dead end is to get rid of the emotions overwhelming you at that moment. Fear, anger, and disappointment prevent you from concentrating normally in the face of a problem. Often our negative emotions, which acquire enormous proportions, we make mountains out of molehills and see absolutely no way out, just a dead end. If you want to smash something to smithereens - do it, you want to scream and swear - go ahead, give vent to your anger, do not hold destructive energy within yourself.

3. When you are overcome by complete devastation, only then bright thoughts will begin to come into your head and everything will become clearer from a different angle. Make yourself a tea with lemon and ginger, or brew some hot coffee; energy drinks will help your brain work faster. Take a piece of paper and start writing down absolutely all ideas for getting out of a deadlock situation, even the most absurd ones; in such cases, all means are good.

4. Do not think alone, seek help from your comrades and loved ones who have not turned away in difficult times. There is a proverb: “One head is good, but two are better.” Perhaps they will offer their own options that will be useful to you, because sometimes you know better from the outside.

5. The next step will be a full analysis of the proposed ideas. Weigh up all the pros and cons. Make three thorough plans to get out of a crisis situation. Plan A and B are the most effective, and plan C is a backup. Clearly thought-out scenarios with several options give a much higher percentage of success than just one.

6. In a difficult life situation, gather your strength and spirit and begin to put your anti-crisis plan into action. By going step by step, without stepping back, you will achieve what you want and get out of the troubles surrounding your life, and the understanding of what to do will come by itself.

7. In difficult times, people who care about you and to whom you are very dear will help you survive misfortunes. Don't push them away or isolate them from your society, let them help you. You can even ask them for help yourself, in such situations you understand who the most devoted and faithful people are.

8. In our lives, we rely a lot on circumstances, while understanding that they do not promise anything good. You can't do that. We create our own destiny, so pull yourself together and don’t let circumstances get the better of you.

9. Another effective way to get out of a deadlock situation is to exclude people with. In every person’s environment, there will definitely be a person who will exaggerate and lower your faith in yourself. Such people do not see happiness and positive aspects; they have only negativity around them. If possible, avoid them, do not let them lower your self-esteem, otherwise you will panic and give up.

10. When you're in trouble, look for something that will motivate you while you get out of the situation. Strive to communicate with those who believe in you and know that you can withstand any blow.

11. In difficult moments, you should not be afraid to take risks and think about mistakes, every person has them. It would be stupid to sit idly by. Every mistake you make will be a lesson from which you will gain useful and necessary information.

12. Don't listen to those who say they know how best to live and be. They will constantly remind you and poke you about your past mistakes. Send them away from you, let them hang noodles on the ears of others, losers just like them. This is your life and only you can decide whether you can get out of trouble or not. Believe in yourself and you will succeed. You are not a loser, but a winner!

No matter how hard we try to achieve success, no matter what we strive for, what we dream about, and no matter what we do, life is unpredictable and sometimes presents unpleasant surprises. Fatigue suddenly sets in, even familiar and simple tasks seem impossible, and irritation becomes the most important feeling. But no matter how great the difficulties, when a person is mentally prepared to solve the most difficult problems, he is able to find a way out of any difficult situation.

We figure out how to find a way out of a difficult situation

Before you begin to solve the difficulties that have arisen, you need to clearly define several points for yourself: the cause of their occurrence, those responsible, the influence and consequences. The right way out is easiest to find only when you know exactly what you are dealing with. Just take your time to understand how you found yourself in such a situation, otherwise you may come to the wrong conclusions and instead of solving them, you will only worsen your situation.

First, stop being nervous, blaming everyone around you, imagining terrible pictures, feeling sorry for yourself and suffering. Now more than ever you need a cool head and a calm mind.

First, describe everything that happened. Remember what actions led to this. Consider whether there is an opportunity to change or correct them. Sometimes it is enough to admit your mistakes to improve the situation and avoid even greater troubles.

Determine whether there are those who are guilty of them. But don’t rush to blame everyone around you for your troubles. Don't try on the role of a victim, it won't help anything. Dispassionately analyze who influenced you, your decision, or shared the idea that caused the difficulty. If there is such a person, limit your communication with him by refusing to discuss the tasks facing you in the future. This will prevent this from happening again in the future.

Just don’t “burn your bridges” trying to prove to others how wrong the offender is. Your task is to improve your own life, and not to force the culprit to answer for his actions. Never waste time correcting others, there is not much of it. After all, he may not have had malicious intent, but simply did not have the necessary information and overestimated his strength when making an intelligent decision.

Assess the impact of this problem on your life, how negative and dangerous it is. The amount of time you have to resolve complex issues with the least loss for yourself and your loved ones depends on this.

Most difficulties arise through the fault of the person himself, namely from his attitude to what happened. Only people are capable of losing their temper over a trifle or not paying attention in time to what was important. Therefore, sooner or later we have to deal with solving problems that require both effort and resources, although this could have been avoided.

After all, one of the most important qualities should, of course, be the ability to foresee and prevent the occurrence of the slightest troubles in life, for which you need to learn to assess in advance the possible consequences of decisions made. But don’t be upset, even if nothing can be fixed, there are still many decisions ahead that will require a serious approach when making them if you don’t want to constantly look for a way out of difficult situations.

To find the best solution in the circumstances, it is very important to understand whether the situation is really hopeless, or whether you are exaggerating. Imagine the worst-case scenario if you do nothing. Is it really that scary or is there a chance to reduce its negative impact?

Now think about what is better to do: leave everything as it is or you need to show all your willpower and ingenuity to change the state of affairs. Try to look at what is happening from the outside, to see if everything is as bad for you as it seems at first glance.

For example, you have problems at work that could lead to dismissal. Only you are to blame for what happened, and you need to put in too much effort to find a way out. Think about why you made a mistake: you are tired or subconsciously you no longer like your position or work and want to do something new.

Photo: how to find a way out of a difficult situation

Depending on the answer, all you have to do is focus all your efforts on coping with the difficulties that have arisen, or don’t waste time and start looking for a job that will allow you to be fulfilled and bring you joy. When a person enjoys what he does, he takes his responsibilities much more seriously and attentively, avoiding mistakes.

Finding a way out of a difficult situation is not difficult if you understand what result you want to get in the end. Therefore, try to always focus on what you want, and not those around you, loved ones, friends or colleagues. Otherwise, hidden discontent will still cause serious problems that cannot be avoided.

Top 7 ways to find a way out of a difficult situation

As soon as you feel that a crisis has come and you need to do something, take a day off and devote it to your favorite activities. Take a walk, play sports, listen to good music, read a book, watch your favorite movie with a happy ending, spend time with your favorite pet, animals help you calm down and look at the world differently. Free your mind from all worries. This is not at all easy to do, but the main first step is here. And they may well be the words of the famous heroine Scarlett O’Hara, which you should say to yourself: “I’ll think about this tomorrow!” Allow yourself to rest so that you can begin to find the best way out of a difficult situation the next day with fresh strength, and not exhausted by numerous doubts and worries.
For a more complete picture, write down on paper everything that is happening. How it all started, what stage it is in now, what the threat is in the future. Write down all possible solutions and capabilities that you have. Analyze them in detail and select the most optimal fight option. Set the finished recipe aside and read it again the next day. As time passes, it is much easier to identify the strengths and weaknesses of what you have written. As soon as you feel that this is the most correct way out, start implementing it.

If the situation is so complicated and you have no way to correct it, then wait for the right moment, allowing events to develop without your participation. Sometimes this is the best option. Often everything resolves itself as if by itself. The main thing is to retreat in time and not do even more stupid things.
You have offended a loved one, and your relationship is on the brink, find the strength to ask for forgiveness if you do not want to lose him. In the same case, when you are deeply convinced that your partner is to blame for everything that happened, and are not ready to forgive him, then prepare for several scenarios: either a breakup, or reconciliation when he realizes his guilt. There is no such thing as a bad choice, there is only one that is right for you and for which you are willing to take responsibility.

Photo: how to find a way out of a difficult situation

Look at the problem as if several years have passed, is it as complex as it is now? Maybe a look from the future will allow you to see a solution to it that you haven’t thought about.
To find a way out of any situation, you need to have a certain amount of information and the more it is, the easier it is to resolve the issue. Today it is not difficult to search for the necessary data and options for the development of events on the Internet. Here you can also use ready-made solutions that are shared with each other by people who have encountered the same or similar troubles. It is always worth using the experience of others, it is much better than reinventing the wheel.
Don't refuse help from your loved ones. It is worthy of respect when a person tries to cope with difficulties on his own, but often their help can become a real lifeline. Sometimes it is enough to talk about a problem to immediately understand how it needs to be solved, and advice heard in time will allow you to win with the least losses.

Photo: how to find a way out of a difficult situation

Life is never an easy walk for anyone; it is filled with both happy and tragic events, regardless of education, place of work and financial status. From time to time, in a series of ordinary affairs, problems arise that require close attention. No matter how they frighten or disrupt the usual course of things, you need to learn to look for a way out of any difficult situation. When a person believes in himself and does not want to give up, he is capable of much.

From time to time we are faced with situations and circumstances that seem either difficult to resolve or completely unsolvable.

In such cases, despairing of finding a way out of the current situation, we especially urgently need an objective and sober look from the outside. But where to find it, this interested and thoughtful opinion? Where can we find a truly wise person who, in difficult times, will help us along this only path, Ariadne’s thread, and tell us how to break out of the vicious circle?

We very often entrust this important decision to our loved ones or friends. This has its advantages. First of all, we certainly trust them. Secondly, one can hope that their “outside view” will be more accurate in assessing the situation. And thirdly, we simply don’t know who else we can turn to for help. The disadvantages of such a solution are also obvious: it is unlikely that the decision of your loved ones will be the best - if only because they do not know the full depth of the problem, all its shades and nuances. Only you know this. But then what to do in such cases?!

There is an exit. And the most amazing thing is that you know him. You know how to solve the most difficult problem, how to find a way out of the most difficult and confusing situation. There is a solution. And if it’s not easy for you to believe this, then think about how you are looking for keys that are not in their usual place. You know they are at home. You know for sure that they are somewhere. It is also obvious to you that sooner or later you will find them. But where are they?

In order to find a solution to a problem that defies the most desperate logic, we it is necessary to take a paradoxical path: make it seem as if the problem has a solution, as in school textbooks on physics and algebra all the answers to the problems are given. All you have to do is find the corresponding pages where all these solutions are contained and select the current answer. And in order to find these pages with answers to all our questions, we will need the so-called wise man technique: a psychological exercise that will allow us to reduce the search for solutions to the most complex everyday problems to a minimum.

The wise man technique is performed just once, and after that you will receive answers to any, even the most complex questions about your life. However, for this to really happen, the technique must be performed very carefully and seriously. It consists in the fact that you create in your imagination the image of a wise person who helps you solve all your problems. This image accompanies you in the future, like a talisman. He will be like a genie that you can summon from the bottle in difficult times. And he will always come to your aid as soon as you ask him for it.

How a wise person is created? A person’s imagination is so strong that he can come up with almost anything he can imagine. If you want to take a moment to imagine what a pink Christmas tree would look like, you can do it. You can easily create the desired pictures and images. You can also remember and reproduce the sounds of your favorite melodies, humming their tune to yourself. You can hear a voice: male or female, loud or quiet, high or low. If you wish, you can see a picture and hear how it might sound: for example, a ball that bounces on the floor not only has a certain color and shape, but also makes a certain sound when it bounces off the floor. We do all this thousands of times every day: we imagine pictures, hear voices, and we can even see a full-color movie with our own participation.

In order to create a wise person, you will need exactly the ability to see with your inner eye and hear with your inner ear that you have. You don't need anything supernatural or mind-blowing. Wisdom, as a rule, is measuredness, smoothness and calmness in everything. However, if your wise man is dressed in orange jeans and his hair is dyed a viscous blue, then I would not be at all surprised. Because your wise person can be anything you want. He may have a beard or no beard, he may be a woman or a man. This person may be aged or, on the contrary, very young. As long as he satisfies one important rule: the appearance of this person fully corresponds to your idea of wisdom and enlightenment.

It may take you some time to create a wise person. Do not regret it, it will bring you great benefits, which can then be calculated in months and years, if we are talking about the time we spend searching for this or that solution. It is best if no one disturbs you at this time, and you can be alone with yourself, alone with your wise person. If you have found such an opportunity, you can begin to perform the technique.

Step number one. You will need a pen and a piece of paper. Prepare all this and then try to relax. You don’t need to do anything, you can sit quietly in a chair or even lie down. You will need to remember something from your past experiences, and this will be easy, since you will have to remember pleasant things. Please remember several cases in your life when you found a way out of a difficult situation. They can be anything, take the most obvious ones that come to your mind. How did you feel in those moments when you broke the vicious circle, when the situation was successfully resolved? Also tell yourself your role and merit: what exactly did you come up with so that everything fell into place? As soon as you remember it and say it, mentally put a tick or cross, as people do when winding a thread around their hand or drawing signs on the palm of their hand to remember it - and follow on to another case with a similar result. Your task is to remember five (or more) such cases and mentally put crosses: they say, we remembered, we remember. Once everything is ready, write it all down on a piece of paper. Formulate something like this: “I did this and that, and my problem was successfully resolved.” Or: “I came up with such and such, and after that everything fell into place.”

Step two. There are different types of wise people, and for each person they can be very different. Some people are convinced by a beard, others by horn-rimmed glasses. The mind can be emphasized by certain clothes, age, or the presence of some details. Knowing this, fantasize about what he is like - your wise man? What would he look like if you met him? How would he be dressed? Perhaps he even reminds you of someone? What would his voice sound like? Fantasize boldly, freely, listen to your feelings. You can make notes on a piece of paper, recording its most important features or qualities. You can draw it if you know how to draw at least a little. You should also determine a meeting place with your wise man. Perhaps it will be a quiet darkened office, or a hot desert, or an autumn forest. If you can't imagine something, just think about what it would look like if you could do it. Thank God it's easy to think about what people or things might look like. It's easy to think about what your wise man would look like.

At the end of the second step, you will have a complete picture of your wise man. You will also know the place of your meeting with him: a place that you can always either imagine or think about him so that it fills your attention. You can also describe a wise person on paper. Do not mince words, describe it in as much detail as possible.

Step three. Once you can imagine your wise man whenever you need it (just close your eyes and go to him, or let him come to you, or he will just appear in front of you as soon as you think about it), come back to your list of those things and situations in which you found a good solution and got out safely, and add another such situation to this list. This will be easy, since we find a lot of similar solutions in our lives. Repeat everything in exactly the same way: remember what a good solution you came up with, how you felt immediately after the situation was resolved, put a mental cross, as in previous cases, and then add this case to the list.

Step four. After completing step number three, try to relax again: lean back in your chair or lie down. Close your eyes and think about the difficult situation that exists in the present time. Focus on it for a moment, that will be enough. After this, meet with your wise man, and as soon as he appears in front of you, ask him one question: what should you do in this situation?

Once you ask your wise man a question, you will receive an answer instantly. It can be of any property: memory, image, picture, voice, phrase, and any other. Think about what you have received. You can write it down, draw it, or say it out loud. You have received some important information that answers your question. All you have to do is understand what the wise man wanted to say by giving you this information.

In the future, when you meet again with a wise person, you can agree with him on ways to exchange information. You can find out what his name is, and for this you just need to ask him about it. You can also hear his voice, and then when you ask your questions, you will just have to listen to what he has to say. It may be that when you meet, you don’t hear a voice, but you have thoughts that answer your questions. These are the answers of your wise man. Don't forget to thank him for meeting with you and trying to help you.

There are no restrictions for meeting a wise person. You can contact him for help at any time you see fit. After each meeting with him, also pay attention to the dream you had. In a dream, you can receive very important information that will help you make the right decision. Good luck to you! And thanks to your wise man, whom you will meet in the very near future. Thanks to him for listening to all this carefully.

Vit Tsenev

< Техника «Разговор с ребенком»
Four techniques - How to get rid of negative thoughts >

No matter who you are and no matter what you achieve, trouble can always happen, and you will feel like life will never get better. However, remember that it's your attitude that matters, and here's how you can change it.

Zen Buddhist adept and Harvard professor Robert Waldinger, who leads a study on adult development, followed 724 men for 75 years to understand what makes our lives happy.

It turns out that the basis of happiness is inclusion in a community and healthy relationships. To feel happy, you need to live surrounded by people who are ready to help.

Here are six ways to cope with the strong emotions that often accompany life's challenges. Sometimes they don't help directly solve the problem, but they provide clarity of vision, and that's a lot. Regardless of the outcome, your decisions will not be out of fear - they will be informed.

1. Stop Negative Self-Talk

The first step is to let go of limiting delusions, but it is equally important to stop negative self-talk by asking yourself:

What facts for and against are available to me?
Am I relying on facts or my own interpretations?
Perhaps I'm jumping to negative conclusions?
How do I know if my thoughts are true?
Is it possible to look at this situation differently?
Is the situation really as dire as I think it is?
Does this mindset help me achieve my goals?

Sometimes it is enough to admit that you are indulging in self-deprecation to look at the problem from a different perspective.

2. Don't lose perspective

Your current problem in the context of your entire life is a mere trifle, it does not define you as a person, it is not a reflection of your entire history, your strengths and achievements.

We often see only what is right in front of us, forgetting about all the past positive experiences. Keep a holistic view of your life in mind and ask yourself:

What's the worst that could happen? Is this likely?
What about the best?
What is most likely to happen?
What will this mean in five years?
Perhaps I am making too much of this issue?

3. Learn from your reactions

“Between stimulus and response there is a gap, in this gap we have the freedom to choose our reaction. Our development and happiness depend on this choice,” Viktor Frankl.

How do you respond to a problem? What advice would you give to your best friend in this situation? At every moment we can completely control our reaction to any stimulus, and today psychology knows five ways to improve control over the reaction in a difficult situation:

Think about what kind of person you would like to become
Think about the meaning and origin of your reactions
See the results of your actions
Imagine the best answer
Learn to treat yourself with compassion

4. Learn from the other party's reactions.

Harvard researchers have shown that using empathy in disagreements is essential for conflict resolution and is a critical prerequisite for successful negotiation outcomes.

5. Assess the situation from the perspective of an outside observer

If you are an observer, then you can step outside the situation, put aside your emotions and observe your reaction.

With this level of self-awareness, even when you are in the middle of a conflict, you are aware of yourself and can separate your personality from the situation.

6. Look outside for help.

In any situation where your own experience is lacking, seek wise advice. Put your ego aside and ask for critical perspectives and constructive feedback, and once you've accomplished the task, help others learn from your experience.

Remember that you and your problem are not a single whole. The problem is just one aspect of your journey, and it is also a source of growth. Don't run away from challenges, because they make us better. And when it seems that everything is lost, remember: this too shall pass.

Prepared by Taya Aryanova