Indecisive guy signs. What a confident man doesn't do

Chronic self-doubt can destroy a person's personality and prevent a person from feeling the joy of victories. Psychology says that an indecisive man cannot make a career, is not able to conquer woman's heart, V family life he serves as a burden to the enterprising and tenacious wife.

Where does indecision come from - a character trait that is so unusual in male psychology. How can a woman help her chosen one overcome his timidity and become a real man? Why do psychologists recommend that a woman be weak? We will talk about this in our article.

Signs of an insecure man

It is not typical for a man who is insecure to be active. He is slow and lazy. Often behaves like a child. Avoids disputes, hates competition in any form of its manifestation. The reason for this behavior is a banal fear of failure.

This prevents a man from achieving success in his career, which of course does not increase his level of self-esteem. The psychology of an insecure man is such that he tries by all means to avoid obvious conflict. Doesn't like change or meeting new people too much. He is simply afraid to disrupt the usual way of his well-established life.

Everything that requires overcoming obstacles and struggle is alien to him. He likes beautiful women, but he doesn’t know how to get to know them. He is in love, but is afraid to propose - what if he refuses?!!

An indecisive man is self-centered. Low self-esteem forces him to delve into himself and feverishly search for the reason for his failures. This vicious circle is quite difficult to break without outside help and support from loved ones.

An indecisive man in family life

Often, an insecure man has an enterprising and courageous wife (however, at least someone in the family should decide where the poor woman should go). The woman takes the reins into her own hands, and the man obediently yields. Often such a symbiosis is beneficial to both parties. A powerful woman receives unconditional submission, and an insecure man is relieved of the heavy burden of decision-making. But what to do if a woman does not want to put up with such an arrangement of figures?

Collecting anamnesis or why is it like this?

Of course, we all come from childhood. Raising in a family, the first successful or unsuccessful experience of adoption independent decision, the first blow to the nose... Receive it, sign it, now it’s all yours.

The relationship between mother and child determines the degree of self-confidence of the future man. For a child, a mother is the image of the world. If a mother accepts a child and gives him warmth and joy from the first days of life, then, as he grows up, the boy will take the feeling of security and comfort into adulthood.

An overly caring or despotic mother can cause a number of complexes and defensive behavior patterns, which the wife will have to fight.

How to raise a future man?

Mom loves the child just like that, dad loves him for something. The role of the father in shaping the character of a future man can hardly be overestimated. The image of a strong man with rights last word, must be impressed on the boy's mind. If a man does not enjoy authority in the family, it is difficult to expect that, as he grows up, the boy will adhere to a different behavior strategy.

In the absence of the father, his role can be replaced by any male authority figure. Grandfather, uncle, teacher or karate section coach... someone is needed from whom the boy can follow an example.

An insecure man is always jealous

Jealousy occurs in relation to two people who care about each other. Another thing is uncontrollable jealousy. Scandals on every occasion and hundreds of baseless accusations. A self-confident man will not “make scandals over trifles.” If something happens, he will turn around and leave. It will be necessary - forever.

Morbid jealousy is a fear of betrayal, fueled by a violent fantasy, the roots of which are hidden in an inferiority complex and guilt. Strong man is also capable of jealousy, but reacts more adequately to this feeling. No one is safe from mistakes. The psychology of a self-confident person does not perceive failures so painfully. You need to be able to trust your partner.

What to do to make a man believe in himself?

The first and perhaps most important rule – love a man for who he is. Don't try to change him, but try to help him cope with difficulties.

Believe in the man. Try to show him that he is the best. Encourage any initiative on his part. Never criticize in front of other people. Praise more, especially in front of everyone.

Don't let a man sit on your head and live at your expense. He must learn to earn money. If a man doesn’t have money, he is not confident in himself. The exception is creative people. It is important to be able to truly distinguish talented person from a deceiver and a lazy person.

Men's confidence is based on achievement. Teach a man to bet real goals and achieve them. Start small. Remember, he is your support, and not vice versa.

Even if you are by nature a strong and energetic woman, try to be a weak girl next to him who requires help and protection. Don't do for him what he can easily handle on his own. Remember, you are two parts of one whole.

Women's self-confidence directly depends on harmony family relations. Learn to take care and respect those around you. To help loved ones, you must first help yourself become a harmonious person and a strong person.

A simple way to increase male self-esteem is to play sports. Visiting a section or gym will help a man get rid of the fear of competition and struggle. Good charge testosterone will help any wimp feel like a man.

Physical exercise will not only make a man's body stronger and more attractive, but will also give its owner self-confidence.

If you're serious about helping your man gain self-confidence, be willing to change yourself. A person can truly be changed only by a sincere and selfless feeling, whose name is...

Uncertainty interferes with life. This is a serious complex that needs to be fought. The article provides effective method, which has a positive effect on self-esteem and a sense of confidence.

One of the most unpleasant and even harmful properties psyche is a feeling of uncertainty. It negatively affects the behavior of both men and women. But beautiful creatures can be forgiven for this shortcoming, because they are predetermined by nature to be weak and defenseless. As for the stronger half of humanity, here uncertainty can be considered as a serious complex that needs to be fought.

Therefore, let’s try to figure out the problem using the example of men’s lack of confidence in themselves and their strengths.

Intelligence, beauty, strength will have no practical value if a man is deprived of a sense of inner confidence. Shyness and indecision will reduce all advantages to zero. They will block the path to success and personal life, and in work activity.

But do not confuse confidence with arrogance and rudeness. The latter is precisely generated by complexes. It is through cheeky behavior and outright rudeness that a person tries to disguise his inner weakness, fear and timidity.

How does a nasty and vile virus arise in the depths of consciousness that prevents many men from living? Naturally, it is not airborne. The complex originates in early childhood, When human psyche absorbs everything negative like a sponge. Children are very trusting. Any statement or remark of adults is perceived by them as an infallible truth.

But imagine that an adult is the carrier of a whole bunch of complexes. All of them will safely pass into the child’s psyche and settle down there. the best way. So-called “anchors” will appear, which will begin to negatively affect the baby’s behavior. He will become timid, shy, self-conscious. This pattern of behavior should cause a feeling of anxiety in parents and educators.

However, adults, burdened with their own worries, rarely pay attention to such trifles. Sometimes they are irritated by the child’s excessive indecisiveness and tightness. They do not want to understand that they themselves are the culprits of this. But instead of critically assessing the methods of their upbringing and the phrases that are constantly uttered, they begin to scold the baby, and sometimes even mock him.

First of all, you should come to terms with the situation and stop scolding yourself for being insecure and timid. You should not prohibit, but allow yourself to be shy and indecisive. In this case, it will be released very a large number of energy, which precisely fuels the complex. Having deprived it of a power source, you can proceed to the next step.

It is necessary to gradually instill in oneself the idea that the complex is not an internal essence, but only a role. Well I like it this way life stage play an insecure person. I am a free person and can create any image for myself. In this case, the negative dependence on indecisive actions will disappear and a state of inner freedom will begin.

When communicating with people, you will no longer be visited by a feeling of annoyance at yourself for some flaws in your behavior. After all, they are performed only in accordance with the chosen role. And you need to play it well, since any task should be done conscientiously.

Never, under any circumstances, scold yourself. Treat the world around you with a sense of humor. Come before strangers in the form of a confident and categorical person, and then return to your usual image. Experience the feeling of pleasure from the bewilderment of others. Be sincerely pleased with your acting talents.

Gradually you will begin to perceive yourself a full-fledged person who is not afraid to appear insecure and uptight to others. Then comes a feeling of indifference to the opinion of the crowd. A deep conviction will arise in your soul that you can look the way you like. Love this image and perceive it as authentic, corresponding to your inner essence.

Never forget that you are surrounded by real people. And they are more concerned about their appearance and personal behavior than anyone else. Therefore, you should not think that your personality is of such great importance in the eyes of others. Draw appropriate conclusions and proceed to the third stage of the fight against the uncertainty complex.

At some point, feel that you are tired of the role of a timid and indecisive person. It's time to try on a different image. This is a confident demeanor, courage and determination. But there may be a paradox here. When it finally appears desire completely get rid of the complex, and suddenly it turns out that it no longer exists.

The game of indecision will do its job and completely transform you into a different person. Everything will happen by itself and absolutely unnoticed. Even close people, friends, acquaintances will not pay attention to this, since the process of changing the psyche will take a certain period of time and will occur gradually.

In this case, all that remains is to wash your hands and move on through life with your head held high. But you must always remember simple truths, which will never allow the complex to come back. This is, first of all, an absolute right to any failure. It is impossible to always win. But retreat is not defeat. It only makes it possible to realize other ways to achieve a goal.

You shouldn’t be afraid, lower your self-esteem, or get hung up on negative emotions. In any business, a certain amount of humor is necessary, since laughter has enormous power. Great importance have ease and relaxedness. Thanks to them, psychological control over one’s behavior disappears. A person becomes himself, that is, unlike others. And this always elevates him in the eyes of other people.

Overcoming uncertainty is not as difficult as it may seem at first.

The main thing is to become the master of the situation.

And always remember that it is hard only at the beginning, then it becomes much easier, and the process of transforming into a different person begins to go like clockwork.

Such a man is ready to solve any girl’s problem. He will come running at the first call for help.

Henpecked men are beneficial companions for any lady.

But, alas, the girls treat them with disdain, calling them “Yes, this Kolya is a rag, not a man!” Unfortunately, men who don’t know this will spend years repairing her computer, always helping out in unforeseen situations, but they will never be able to become her lovers. A gentleman and a henpecked man are two different categories.

• henpecked- this is the kind of man who always fulfills any woman’s request, even at the expense of his time, his business, and even his dates with another woman.
• Gentleman- he is happy to help the lady, but not always, but when he can. At the same time, he clearly understands that his woman likes him and they, of course, will continue their whirlwind romance, because the sweet lady looks at him with tenderness and lust.

2. Interrogation at the meeting

Frankly, on dates you are always wary when a stranger starts asking you: “Where is the company where you work?” The only thing worse than this is the question: “How much money do you have in the bank?” Any meeting should not be an interrogation, which takes place in the form of a question and answer, but in the form of a conversation when one person enthusiastically tells something about himself and the lady echoes him, because they are both interested in the topic being discussed.

3. An insecure man

The man’s insecurity simply shines through - this is manifested in his dull, wandering gaze, and in his untidiness, and in the fact that he slouches. By agreeing to a date, a lady assumes that she will have an interesting time with a nice interlocutor who will behave in such a way that she does not get bored.

An insecure man is unattractive, it’s as if he’s trying to psychologically hide from everyone in the world, he’s afraid to say an extra word, he’s withdrawn, he performs unnecessary manipulations with his arms and legs, he has shifty eyes, sweaty hands, his whole appearance says: “I’m not confident in myself, and, most likely, nothing will work out with you, because I’m a loser and the fact that you agreed to go on a date with me is an accident. The date will end and we will never see each other again.”

The disadvantages of this behavior Men are also the fact that they can be very critical of women, completely indelicate, jealous, suspicious, fearful, and generally uninteresting. Women like confident men who are fun to spend time with and just relax.

4. Shower with gifts

Alas, you either like a man or don’t like him. If you don’t like him, he is used to obtain material benefits. Try to do this: give flowers, but you shouldn’t present expensive gifts to a woman you don’t know well, otherwise she’ll get used to it and take it for granted. It’s interesting that the gifts received doesn't make her feel that she owes this man something sexually. Not at all - she gives him her time, her attention.

5. Premature declaration of love

If a woman is not in love with you, then she can take advantage of your feelings, mock a man’s love, and use you in every possible way. It is better to confess your love after a certain period, for example, six months - this way it will be clear that your feelings are true, and the woman will most likely also become attached to you during this period. Sometimes women are in no hurry to confess their love, but simply wait for men to confess first, but this should not be done too quickly, because this can only indicate falling in love, which passes quickly enough, and is not always mutual. Let time pass- this way there is a greater chance that your feelings will be mutual and the woman will not refuse you, because you have been together for so long and have been a real gentleman with her.

6. Excessive differences in material terms, appearance,interests

Needless to say, if you are from different social classes, it will not be easy for you to introduce your lady to rich relatives or for her to introduce you to her rich dad and mom. The difference will always be visible, and you can also get reproaches from any side for obtaining material benefits.

Too strong a difference in external attractiveness will also be a reason for unreasonable or justified jealousy, from which sometimes a person goes crazy and decides to commit illegal actions and persecution. It is advisable that at least one hobby you had was the same, or so that a woman at least somehow supports your activities in football, sailing, skydiving. Since you will spend a lot of time on your hobby, if she is not interested in it, she will remain on the sidelines and will be deaf to your statements about how interesting it was to go kayaking or jumping from a parachute.

A common cause brings people together - this should be taken into account when interests coincide.

Most often, they are together for quite a long time, practically identical people- they have the same position in life, the same goals, similar character qualities - such people long years together. Too much different people can get together for a while, but only for a while, because then one will be annoyed by her slowness, and she will be unbearable by his temper. Choose a person who is similar to you - then everything will be much easier.

7. Fake behavior

When meeting a lady you don’t know well, you can try to pretend to be a hot macho man, a sociable person, whatever. But if she falls in love with this image, then you will have to be like this for the rest of your days, and it’s quite difficult to play a tedious role all your life. At the meeting you need to be as natural as possible and be interested in your lady.

When a man behaves constrained, compressed, looks around, is silent in response, asks strange questions or reacts strangely, then the impression is created of either his inadequacy or the presence of serious mental illness, or that he is married. If you invite a woman on a date, be sociable, listen, and not just talk, give her compliments - it’s so nice for any woman to hear that she is so charming in this dress, and what soft hair she has, and what beautiful eyes!

8. Believing that she is perfect

Nobody is perfect. If you proceed from the conclusion that this particular woman will be ideal, then you can quickly be disappointed. Every woman has a number of shortcomings. It’s just that the whole difference is whether you can put up with these shortcomings. Will you be satisfied with her capriciousness or silence? Can you accept the fact that she will spend hours talking on the phone with her friend? If not, then there is no need to waste your time, you will not have a long-term relationship anyway.

Take a closer look at the person– she must definitely be liked in appearance, in addition, she must have an interesting inner world, after all, appearance fades over the years, but what remains inside, intellectual fullness or an excellent sense of humor, and perhaps self-irony - believe me, will always attract. Make good jokes yourself. And just decide for yourself right away: what you are ready to put up with in a woman’s behavior, and what, well, you’re not ready to accept.

9. Think that girls like money and handsome males

There are definitely ladies who are attracted to money and a man’s appearance is not particularly important to them. This is understandable - they want to get settled in life at the expense of a man. If you dig deeper into the psychology of such a woman, you may notice a certain infantilism in life, when she clearly decided for herself that everything in life can be achieved at the expense of money, and not her own earned money, but received from a man.

But the truth is that rich men often exchange such ladies for young, beautiful ones, and the old wife is left to live the way she can live with the remaining amount. Handsome men are more interesting for very young girls, since they don’t have any experience yet, so they rush to the cover. If you dig deeper, then handsome man fed up with female attention, a true “narcissist” adores only himself. Such men are of little interest to an intelligent woman, except for procreation.

Women like smart, cheerful men, who will be interesting and not boring to be around, and they are also looking for responsible men with whom they can start a family.

10. Stop surprising if the girl is not indifferent to you

If a girl becomes bored with her beloved man, she can find another, next to whom she will not feel sad. A woman should be interested and have fun with a man.

At first it seems like luck. He gives flowers, arranges romantic dates, cannot take his eyes off you and repeats that he does not deserve such a beautiful woman. Or that he doesn’t understand what he did to deserve you. But quite quickly this charm is replaced by other feelings. Caring and love turns into obsession, relationships begin to tire, and sometimes it can be scary. Self-doubt can manifest itself in different ways. 15 most common signs:

1. He has no other life. All his interests, activities and hobbies are built around you and relationships. He is not friends with his colleagues, but wants to spend every evening with you. Even if you yourself were going to see your friends that evening. He perceives his work as a duty and does not do anything else. He has no hobbies or aspirations for anything - except to spend all his free time next to you, preferably together, so that you are not distracted by anyone else.

2. He's convinced you're still thinking about your ex. without a reason. And it doesn’t matter how long ago you broke up with your previous partner. He will look for or even invent evidence that you still have feelings for your ex. He cannot believe that you are interested in your current relationship, because, of course, he is not worthy of you.

3. Starts talking about love too quickly. Literally after a couple of dates, he begins to talk about how you turned your head and what an avalanche of feelings hit your heart. At first this may be flattering, but you will soon realize that this is strange, because you don’t know each other very well.

4. The intensity of feelings is off the charts. He is convinced that you are the main thing in his life, the very thing for which he is ready to live. This feeling can be very pleasant, but sooner or later you will get tired. This is too much responsibility to take on.

5. He constantly checks to see if you love him. Being insecure, he needs constant confirmation of your feelings. He grabs any crumbs of attention with unhealthy enthusiasm and falls into depression if it seems to him that you are not as inclined towards him as before. The need for confirmation can arise at any time, whether you are at work, at important meeting or in space. If you are with spaceship send a message saying “I love you”, he will not believe you 100%. After all, he doesn't deserve your love.

6. He is terribly jealous of everyone he knows. This is not about jealousy towards other men, although this cannot be avoided either. An insecure man will be jealous of your relatives, girlfriends and colleagues. If you go on vacation in company without him, he will begin to harass you with messages and calls, with all his behavior demanding that you pay attention to him, and not to those with whom you are currently spending time. You may even like this at the beginning of the relationship, but then you will realize that it deprives you of the ability to communicate normally with those who are dear to you.

7. He threatens to break up. No, not directly. He will plaintively say that it seems to him that you have lost interest in him. It seems to him that you are no longer so tenderly and joyfully greeting him from work. That you don't want him that much anymore. And if this is so, it’s probably better for you to break up. This is a manipulation designed to make you feel guilty. And the feeling of guilt will force you to show your love with all your might, to prove your feelings. And sooner or later it will get to you so much that you will simply throw his things out the door. And himself at the same time.

8. He constantly complains about his ex-girlfriends. None of them really loved him. Nobody cared about him. Everyone betrayed him. And they used it. And they abandoned it as soon as a better option came along. Divide all these stories by ten, or better yet, by fifty. Otherwise, pity will keep you close to him for too long.

9. He follows your updates on social networks. As soon as you post something, he’s already aware. And he will be the first to like and write a comment. Did you comment on someone? He will like your comment. Or will answer it. Like all previous points, this manner will begin to irritate very quickly. And, most likely, you will be embarrassed in front of everyone who sees it.

10. He wants to know who you are talking to and what you are talking about. If you are texting with someone, they will try to stand next to you and look at the screen. He may unobtrusively ask who called you and what the conversation was about, or ask for your phone password under a fictitious pretext. And even if you just watch funny videos about talking cats, this will not lull his vigilance - what if this video was sent to you by a secret admirer?

11. Gives gifts and compliments too often. This may also be too much. At first, this attitude is pleasantly surprising, but then it begins to look like an attempt to “bribe” you so that you stay with him and not leave for someone else. After all, someone else won’t spoil you like that.

12. Suspects you of cheating. He makes wild assumptions about your non-existent love affairs. Both a colleague and a random salesperson in a store may come under suspicion. He sees competitors everywhere and has no doubt that you will succumb to temptation - any other man will be better than him.

13. He wants you to be with him always. Of course, everyone likes to feel needed, but there is a reasonable limit to this. He wants you to be near him, not at work, even if you love her. Meetings with relatives and friends will also irritate him. Every time he will tell you how bad he feels without you, asking: “Or maybe you won’t go? Come back soon, I feel bad without you.”

14. He cannot stand criticism. If you were trying to give a constructive comment to help with something, it will be perceived as a stab in the back. He is already unsure of himself, and here you confirm his worst fears with your criticism. Your good intentions will turn out to be your fault for everything.

15. His happiness depends entirely on you. In a relationship, it is important to consider your partner's needs. But his needs will be too great: you will have to radiate happiness and joy around the clock. Because if you are happy and satisfied, he is also happy and satisfied. But if you are busy at work, sick or sad, he will feel very bad. And you will feel like you have to be happy every minute of every day. Not because you actually feel good, but for his sake. Are you sure you need this?