Comic questions about. "funny quiz questions"

You just met and you don’t know how to break up a boring conversation? Every girl should have interesting and funny questions in her arsenal, to some extent with a trick, in order to test her ingenuity as best as possible, which will not let any guy get bored (maybe even vulgar ones). Introducing whole list questions for all occasions, with which you can 100% forget about uncomfortable silent pauses in communication with guys.

This block of questions will allow you not only to hook your interlocutor for further communication, but also to find out all his sides, which of course will give rise to certain conclusions. Typically these are questions general, which are very flattering to the guy, because contrary to the stereotype about all women being talkative, men simply love to talk about themselves to their loved ones. First of all, ask the guy about his hobbies and preferences. These questions will be relevant to everyone without exception, both men and women. Think about what question you would be happy to answer and ask it without any hesitation. For example:

  • What music can you not imagine your life without?
  • What's the most recent movie you watched?
  • Do you like camping?
  • What food do you hate?
  • How do you feel about religion? Do you believe in God?
  • What's your favorite dessert?
  • Are you afraid of spiders?
  • Do you like to go to discos? Have you been to costume parties?
  • Who are you according to your zodiac sign? Do you believe in the horoscope?
  • Have you had your hand read?
  • Do you have best friend? How did you meet?
  • What do you like more – accepting or giving gifts?
  • What were your fears as a child?
  • What can throw you off balance?
  • What would you not be able to forgive?
  • What not to do when first communicating?
  • What's the funniest incident in your life?
  • Do you believe in ghosts?
  • Tell me about your first crush. Do you believe in love at first sight?
  • What is the first memory in your life?
  • Imagine you win a million dollars, what will you spend it on?
  • Have you ever fought?
  • What words did you say incorrectly as a child?
  • What item do you use every day and consider irreplaceable?
  • Have you had prophetic dreams?

Looking for first date questions?

YesNo

These simple topics will not only allow you to find common interests and discuss common taste preferences, but also to discover new styles of music, film genres, etc. useful information. But under no circumstances should you criticize him. As they say, there are as many opinions as there are people. Try to initially tune in to listen, let the interlocutor open up and do not impose. At such moments, it is important to feel whether the given topic appeals to you. young man. Ask more clarifying questions to the given topics, thereby showing genuine interest in the conversation.

Cool questions

This block of questions will be useful to you if you decide to defuse the situation after some serious conversation, or if you don’t want to talk about serious topics at all. Particularly interesting and funny are the answers to questions like “what would you do if ...” or “what would you do ...”:

  • If you were sent to desert island on whole year and it would be possible to take 2 people with you, who would you invite with you?
  • If you stayed overnight in a hypermarket, what would you do?
  • Would you like to star in a porn film and what genre would this film be?
  • How would you react if suddenly everyone's clothes disappeared?
  • Would you like to become a woman for one day and what would you do first?
  • Would you like to change your appearance forever with someone and what would you never change?
  • What superpower do you want to have and why?
  • Who do you think you were in a past life?
  • Ever woke up in an unfamiliar place?
  • Imagine that you were given the opportunity to commit any crime with impunity, would you do it and what kind?
  • What's better, a fat girl, but with big breasts, or thin, but with a bad neckline?
  • When will we submit the application to the registry office?
  • Would you take the surname of your future wife?
  • Let's do this right now, ready?
  • You have the opportunity to make any wish within 30 seconds. Tell me quickly which one!
  • If you knew that the world would end tomorrow, how would you live your last day?
  • Did you go on a blind date and did you like the girl? What would you do if she wasn't your type at all?
  • Imagine that you have a time machine, what time will you go to?

It is very important not to cross the line into flirtatious humor. It is such a simple dialogue that will help him relax and open up as much as possible. Try to make jokes about off-topic topics without touching on family, friendship, religion, or his salary, so as not to make the person uncomfortable.

Trick questions

Every girl tries to find out as much as possible all the “skeletons in the closet” of the opposite sex. But how to do this without the guy even suspecting it? It's very easy! All you have to do is ask a couple of tricky questions, and he will rat himself out.

  • Can you openly tell a person about his shortcomings?
  • Have there been cases of theft on your part?
  • Should a wife report to her husband about her purchases?
  • Would you lend money to someone you barely know?
  • How do you feel about cheating? How many times did you cheat?
  • Slept with ex-girlfriends?
  • Able to trust your password from email or social networks to your girlfriend?
  • Are you a jealous person?
  • What would you answer if a girl approached you on the street and asked you to have sex?
  • What incident from your life would you like to forget?
  • Imagine the situation, you were invited to a wedding ex-girlfriend, will you take the current one with you?
  • How do you cut loved ones out of your life?
  • Have there been times when you thought you were in love with two girls at the same time? How did you do?
  • What three points can you not imagine the ideal girl without?
  • What parts of the body do men pay attention to first?
  • What was the most expensive gift you gave to your loved one?
  • What would your reaction be if your best friend admitted that he was gay?

These topics are quite sensitive, especially for men. People prefer not to discuss some moments in life; the main thing is not to make a mistake and not step on this “mine”. Be vigilant, learn to feel the subtle threads of dialogue so as not to accidentally break them. You should not insist on answers if the person is obviously not in the mood to discuss them. You also shouldn’t expect 100% truth; men’s answers to such topics very rarely coincide with reality. Avoid questions of a personal nature (related specifically to you) - they are useless. You risk hearing unpleasant things or obvious lies. Be content with the fact that he is communicating with you, and this is obviously a good sign!

Vulgar questions

What to do when you have known each other for a long time and it’s time to move on to “piquant topics”? Then these questions will definitely come in handy for you to take note of.

  • Do you like to watch 18+ films and what kind exactly?
  • What size is your penis?
  • What was your first time having sex like? Describe your first sexual partner.
  • The funniest incident during lovemaking
  • Have your parents ever caught you pleasuring yourself?
  • How often do you satisfy yourself?
  • Kissed a man?
  • Tell us about your most extreme sexual experience.
  • Have you ever had a threesome, and if not, did you want to try it?
  • Used the services of a prostitute?
  • Have you tried phone sex?
  • What is your favorite position?
  • Do you deliver to girls? oral sex in the bikini area?
  • Had sex with a complete stranger?
  • What was your longest break from sex?
  • Have you ever had nocturnal emissions?

Don’t even think about asking these questions during your first conversation! In any case, this is a sign of bad upbringing. Communicating in this spirit, you can safely forget about searching for a gentleman who will valiantly seek your hand in marriage. And remember that not all guys are equally relaxed in matters of this nature. Try to reach everyone individual approach. Good luck!

It is impossible to imagine a holiday without jokes, laughter and cheerful faces. Any event: wedding, birthday or children's party- takes place with various competitions appropriate to the situation. Quizzes are a popular form of entertainment. Participants receive questions in any form, and if they answer correctly, they are awarded incentives in the form of prizes. Special attention deserves the part where there is funny questions.

Basic rules

The procedure for conducting quizzes and competitions consists of several steps. It is important to plan questions based on what kind of contingent is present so that participants are interested. It is very important to use humorous quiz questions. Often they help guests relax, and in some cases even open up. inner world, show how developed the intellect is. For example, you could include questions like:

  1. What can't you build a house without? (No corner)
  2. What branch does not grow on a tree? (Railway)
  3. When is the forest a snack? (When it's cheese, that is raw)
  4. You can’t see the fire, but you have to put it out, what is it? (Debt, loan)

The quizzes themselves can be held either in one stage or in several rounds, stages or classes, where the questions gradually become more difficult as they move to the next level. And interesting prizes will be a great incentive for the participation of all guests of the celebration.

Humor is appropriate and inappropriate

Comic questions for a quiz are a great field for imagination. It all depends on the type of event. A joke is inevitably associated with fun and laughter, as well as positive emotions. But here it is important not to cross boundaries, because discord and any questions may unwittingly hurt someone’s dignity. Of course, know in advance, especially when large quantities people, it is impossible to know about all the preferences of the guests. But if we consider the problem in general, then jokes are not recommended:

  • on religious topics;
  • with a focus on the nationality of the participants;
  • with elements of black humor or cruelty;
  • openly vulgar, sexually themed.

In addition, questions should be selected taking into account the number of participants. For example, at weddings the topic of scandals between sons-in-law and mother-in-law, daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law is often raised. And such a question will help you laugh good-naturedly at the myth of misunderstanding between new relatives and will suggest options for solving many problems in the future.

The presenter says: “The newlyweds live with their husband’s parents. The mother-in-law constantly finds fault with her son's wife, hinting at length about her inability to cook deliciously. IN Once again the young housewife prepared a dessert and decided to come up with a humorous name for it, so that the mother-in-law could not say anything bad about the dish. Assignment: help my daughter-in-law choose a funny and wise name for a sweet.”

The answers may include the following options: “Mother-in-law’s tongue,” “The sweetness of the speeches of the husband’s mother,” “For my husband’s dear mother,” and the like. Absolutely all guests can participate in the selection of the name.

Wedding quizzes

At weddings, among other jokes, humorous questions for men and women about the opposite sex and understanding of family problems will be appropriate. To organize and conduct the quiz “The Struggle and the World of Opposites,” it will be interesting to unite a group of men against a group of women. You can offer the following task: the presenter shows photographs, and the participants take turns naming the object, and each picture should be named by a man in the masculine gender, and a woman in the feminine. For example:

  • boxes - box;
  • chair - stool;
  • bill - a banknote;
  • way;
  • tail - part of the body;
  • liver is an internal organ.

Having answered once, the participant transfers the right to answer to the next member of his team. If a participant cannot answer or answers incorrectly, he is eliminated from the team.

Quizzes at children's parties

Where can children practice humor by asking humorous questions and finding answers to them, if not at birthdays, picnics, matinees or other group events? A fun quiz will help make the holiday more interesting. It is only important to choose the right questions, include cool tasks. You can even hold some comic sports competitions.

It should be remembered that the younger the contingent, the simpler and more understandable the tasks should be. For children before school age appropriate to ask simple questions, For example:

  1. What color are the sides of a magpie?

For junior schoolchildren assignments will be logical and give you the opportunity to think. Comic questions for children should be to some extent developmental, forcing them to use their intellect. Here are some examples:

Quizzes for adults

Competitions with questions and comic tasks. For adults, you can organize a kind of tournament, where participants in the game of one team ask questions to their opponents, and they, accordingly, prepare cool answers. At the same time, humorous questions for adults are free to have a variety of topics; here it is worth looking at the situation, the degree of familiarity of all participants and the general atmosphere. But neutral questions are great for any company.

1. Can a penguin call itself a bird? (No, he can't talk!)

2. How to pick a branch so as not to scare away the bird? (You have to wait until she flies away on her own)

3. What do you eat for? (At the table)

4. Why do you go to the kitchen when you are hungry? (By gender)

Quizzes at corporate events

At corporate events where the work team is gathered, jokes are the perfect way to put employees in a positive mood, allowing them to relax and feel more free. If in work time men perceive women as employees, then at a corporate event, joking questions to men about women will help reveal a lot of fun and interesting things. And ladies will be surprised that much of their behavior, it turns out, is incomprehensible to men. For example, not all representatives of the stronger sex know:

1. Why does a woman apply nail polish or glue to her tights? (So ​​that the “arrow does not run” further).

2. Is yeast used in shortbread dough? (No).

3. How many knitting needles are needed to knit socks and mittens? (Five).

4. In which month do women talk the least? (In February, there are only 28 days).

middle aged

Joking questions are asked in order to defuse the situation and create a cheerful atmosphere for those present. But no one has canceled knowledge, the presence of intelligence and quick wits. Therefore, during events organized for middle school children, cool questions of this type would be appropriate:

All participants should remember that this kind of quiz is fun leisure time and a bright holiday. There is no need to take your losses to heart; this is a friendly game to strengthen communication, and not a reason for competition.

101 trick questions.

Target: development of logical connections
Can be used on classroom hours, for fun competitions, competitions and competitions, at the Feast of Laughter.
Intended for children of primary school age and older.

1. What does Boris have in front, and what does Gleb have behind? (letter "b")
2. The grandmother was carrying a hundred eggs to the market, one (and the bottom) fell. How many eggs are left in the basket? (none because the bottom fell out)
3. When is a person in a room without a head? (when he sticks it out the window)
4. How do day and night end? (soft sign)
5. What clock does it show? exact time only twice a day? (who stopped)
6. Which is lighter: a kilogram of cotton wool or a kilogram of iron? (same)
7. Why do you go to bed when you want to sleep? (by gender)
8. What needs to be done so that four guys remain in one boot? (take off a boot from each person)
8. The crow is sitting, and the dog is sitting on its tail. Could it be? (the dog sits on its own tail)
9. When is the easiest time for a black cat to get into the house? (when the door is open)
10. In which month does chatty Mashenka speak the least? (in February, it is the shortest)
11. Two birch trees are growing. Each birch tree has four cones. How many cones are there in total? (cones don’t grow on birch trees)
12. What will happen to the blue scarf if you put it in water for five minutes? (gets wet)
13. How to write the word "mousetrap" in five letters? (cat)
14. When a horse is bought, what type is it? (wet)
15. A person has one, a crow has two, a bear has none. What is this? (letter "o")
16. A flock of birds flew into the grove. They sat down two at a time on a tree - one remained; They sat down one at a time - they didn’t get one. How many trees are there in the grove, and how many birds are there in the flock? (three trees, four birds)
17. A woman was walking to Moscow, three old men met her, each old man had a bag, and in each bag there was a cat. How much did it go to Moscow? (one woman)
18. Four birch trees have four hollows, each hollow has four branches, each branch has four apples. How many apples are there in total? (apples don’t grow on birch trees)
19. Forty wolves ran, how many necks and tails did they have? (Tails do not grow near the neck)
20. What fabric cannot be used to make shirts? (From the railway station)
21. What three numbers, if added or multiplied, give the same result? (1, 2 and 3)
22. When are hands pronouns? (You-we-you)
23. What female name consists of two letters that are repeated twice? (Anna, Alla)
24. Which forests have no game? (In construction)
25. Which car wheel does not rotate while driving? (Spare)
26. What can’t mathematicians, drummers, and even hunters do without? (No fraction)
27. What belongs to you, but others use it more often than you? (Name)
28. When does a car move at the same speed as a train all the time? (When he is on the platform of a moving train)
29. One egg takes 4 minutes to cook, how many minutes should 6 eggs be cooked? (4 minutes)
30: Which flower has a male and feminine? (Ivan da Marya)
31. Name five days without giving numbers or names of days. (The day before yesterday, yesterday, today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow)
32. Which bird, having lost one letter, becomes the most big river in Europe? (Oriole)
33. Which city is named after a big bird? (Eagle)
34. What is the name of the first woman in the world to master an aircraft? (Baba Yaga)
35. From the name of which city can you make a filling for sweet pies? (Raisin)
36. In what year do people eat more than usual? (In leap year)
37. In what geometric body Can the water boil? (Cubed).
38. Which river is the scariest? (Tigris River).
39. Which month is the shortest? (May - three letters).
40. Where is the end of the world? (Where the shadow begins).
41. Can an ostrich call itself a bird? (No, because he can't speak).
42. What is under a person’s feet when he walks across a bridge? (Shoe sole).
43. What can you easily pick up from the ground, but cannot throw far? (Pooh)
44. How many peas can fit into one glass? (Not a single one - everything must be put down).
45. What comb can’t comb your head? (Petushin).
46. ​​How can you carry water in a sieve? (Frozen)
47. When is the forest a snack? (When he's cheese)
48. How to pick a branch without scaring a bird? (Wait for the bird to fly away)
49. What stones are not in the sea? (Dry)
50. What is it that freezes in the room in winter, but not outside? (Window glass)
51. Which opera consists of three conjunctions? (Ah, and, yes - Aida)
52. Whoever does not have it does not want to have it, and whoever has it cannot give it away. (bald)
53. What disease on earth has no one ever had? (Nautical)
54. My father's son, but not my brother. Who is this? (Myself)
55. Which question cannot be answered positively? (Are you sleeping?)
56. What is between the window and the door? (Letter "i").
57. What can you cook, but cannot eat? (Lessons).
58. How can you put two liters of milk in a liter jar? (You need to make condensed milk from milk).
59. If five cats catch five mice in five minutes, how long does it take one cat to catch one mouse? (Five minutes).
60. How many months in a year have 28 days? (All months).
61. What is dropped when needed and picked up when not needed? (Anchor).
62. The dog was tied to a ten-meter rope and walked three hundred meters. How did she do it? (The rope was not tied to anything.)
63. What can travel around the world while remaining in the same corner? (Postage Stamp).
64. Is it possible to light a match underwater? (You can if you pour water into a glass and hold the match below the glass).
65. How can a thrown egg fly three meters without breaking? (You need to throw the egg four meters, then it will fly the first three meters intact).
66. What will happen to the green cliff if it falls into the Red Sea? (It will become wet).
67. Two people were playing checkers. Each played five games and won five times. Is this possible? (Both people were playing with other people).
68. What could be bigger than an elephant and at the same time weightless? (Shadow of an elephant).
69. Which hand is better to stir tea? (It is better to stir the tea with a spoon).
70. What question cannot be answered “no”? (You are alive?).
71. What has two arms, two wings, two tails, three heads, three torsos and eight legs? (Rider holding a chicken in his hands).
72. What do all people on earth do at the same time? (Getting older).
73. What gets bigger when you put it upside down. (Number 6).
74. How to jump from a ten-meter ladder without hurting yourself? (Jump from the bottom step).
75. What has no length, depth, width, height, but can be measured? (Time, temperature).
76. Why does a duck swim? (From the shore)
77. What can you cook, but cannot eat? (Lessons)
78. When a car is moving, which wheel does not spin? (Spare)
79. What does the dog run on? (On the ground)
80. Why is there a tongue in the mouth? (Behind the teeth)
81. When a horse is bought, what kind of horse is it? (Wet)
82. Why does a cow lie down? (Because he doesn't know how to sit down)
83. When is the easiest time for a black cat to get into the house? (When the door is open)
84. Which month is the shortest? (May - it only has three letters)
85. Which river is the scariest? (Tigris River)
86. Can an ostrich call itself a bird? (No, because he can't speak)
87. What is between the window and the door? (Letter "i")
88. What will happen to the green ball if it falls into the Yellow Sea? (He'll get wet)
89. How many peas can fit into one glass? (Not at all. They don't know how to walk!)
90. What happens if you put a black handkerchief into the red sea? (gets wet)
91. Which hand is better to stir tea? (It is better to stir the tea with a spoon)
92. What tree does a crow sit on when it rains? (On wet)
93. What kind of dishes can you not eat anything from? (Out of empty)
94. What can you see from eyes closed? (Dream)
95. What do we eat for? (At the table)
96. Why do you go to bed when you want to sleep? (By gender)
97. When are hands pronouns? (When they are you-we-you)
98. How to write “dry grass” in four letters? (hay)
99. There were 90 apples growing on the birch tree. A strong wind blew and 10 apples fell. (Apples do not grow on birch trees).
100. Under which tree does the hare sit when it rains? (Under the wet).
101. Name five days without giving numbers (e.g. 1, 2, 3,..) and names of days (e.g. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday...). (The day before yesterday, yesterday, today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow) .

Addition:
How many eggs can you eat on an empty stomach? (One, the rest are not on an empty stomach.)
What tree does a crow sit on during heavy rain? (On wet.)
How many minutes should you boil a hard-boiled egg - two, three, five? (Not at all, it’s already cooked. It’s hard-boiled.)
Which clock shows the correct time only twice a day? (Which are standing.)
Where does the water stand? (In glass.)
What happens to a red silk scarf if it is lowered to the bottom of the sea for 5 minutes? (It will be wet.)
What disease does no one get on land? (Nautical.)
When are hands pronouns? (When they are you-we-you.)
What is under a person's feet when he walks across a bridge? (Boot soles.)
What do people often walk on and never drive on? (On the stairs.)
How far into the forest can a hare run? (To the middle of the forest, then he already runs out of the forest.)
What happens to the crow after three years? (She is in her 4th year.)
What tree does a hare hide under when it rains? (Under the wet.)
What needs to be done to cut off the branch on which the crow is sitting without disturbing it? (Wait until she flies away.)
Seven brothers have one sister. How many sisters are there in total? (One.)
The crow is flying, and the dog is sitting on its tail. Could it be? (Maybe, since the dog sits on the ground on its tail.)
If a cat climbed a tree and wants to get down along the smooth trunk, how will it go down: head down or tail first? (Tail first, otherwise she won’t hold on.)
Who's upside down above us? (Fly.)
What does half an apple look like? (For the second half.)
Is it possible to bring hearths in a sieve? (You can when it freezes.)
Three ostriches were flying. The hunter killed one. How many ostriches are left? (Ostriches don't fly.)
Which bird is made up of a letter and a river? ("Oriole.)
What is between the city and the village? (Conjunction "and".)
What can you see with your eyes closed? (Dream.)
When is the easiest time for a black cat to get into the house? (When the door is open.)
My father's son, not my brother. Who is this? (Myself.)
There were seven candles burning in the room. A man passed by and put out two candles. How much is left? (Two, the rest burned down.)

1. Which knot cannot be untied? (Railway).
2. In what geometric body can water boil? (Cubed).
3. Which river is the scariest? (Tigris River).
4. Which month is the shortest? (May - three letters).
5. Where is the end of the world? (Where the shadow begins).
6. Can an ostrich call itself a bird? (No, because he can't speak).
7. When they build new house What do you drive the first nail into? (In a hat).
8. What is under a person’s feet when he walks across a bridge? (Shoe sole).
9. What can you easily pick up from the ground, but cannot throw far? (Pooh).
10. How many peas can fit into one glass? (Not a single one - everything must be put down).
11. What comb can you use to comb your head? (Petushin).
12. What is between the window and the door? (Letter "i").
13. What can you cook, but cannot eat? (Lessons).
14. How can you put two liters of milk in a liter jar? (You need to make condensed milk from milk).
15. If five cats catch five mice in five minutes, then how long does it take one cat to catch one mouse? (Five minutes).
16. How many months of the year have 28 days? (All months).
17. What do you drop when you need it and pick it up when you don’t? (Anchor).
18. The dog was tied to a ten-meter rope and walked three hundred meters. How did she do it? (The rope was not tied to anything.)
19. What can travel around the world while remaining in the same corner? (Postage Stamp).
20. Is it possible to light a match underwater? It is possible if you pour water into a glass and hold the match below the glass).
21. How can a thrown egg fly three meters without breaking? (You need to throw the egg four meters, then it will fly the first three meters intact).
22. What will happen to the green cliff if it falls into the Red Sea? (It will become wet).
23. The man was driving a large truck. The lights on the car were not turned on. There was no moon either. The woman began to cross the road in front of the car. How did the driver manage to see her? (It was a bright sunny day).
24. Two people were playing checkers. Each played five games and won five times. Is this possible? (Both people were playing with other people).
25. What could be larger than an elephant and at the same time weightless? (Shadow of an elephant).
26. What do all people on earth do at the same time? (Getting older).
27. What becomes bigger when placed upside down (Number 6).
28. How to jump from a ten-meter ladder without hurting yourself? (You have to jump from the bottom step).
29. What has no length, depth, width, height, but can be measured? (Time, temperature).
30. Which hand is better to stir tea? (It is better to stir the tea with a spoon).
31. When can a net pull out water? (When the water freezes).
32. What question cannot be answered “yes”? (Are you sleeping now?).
33. What question cannot be answered “no”? (You are alive?).
34. What has two arms, two wings, two tails, three heads, three torsos and eight legs? (Rider holding a chicken in his hands).

All around is water, and in the middle is law. What it is?

The prosecutor is bathing.

What is the difference between a worker and an engineer?

A worker washes his hands before going to the toilet, and an engineer washes his hands after.

Who is a bachelor?

This is a man who comes to work a different way every morning.

What is the menu?

Menu - a list of dishes that have just run out

Grain that has passed through fire, water and copper pipes.

Moonshine

Baba is almost forty years old, - But she jumps like a fool. - Give the correct answer. - Who is she?

Snow Maiden

Under which tree does the hare sit when it rains?

Under the wet.

Which wheel does not spin when making a right turn?

Spare.

When is a person in a room without a head?

When he puts it out of the window onto the street.

Crawling downhill, running uphill.

Snot.

What can fly underwater at great depths?

Fly in a submarine

Not a horseradish, not a carrot - a red head.

Pioneer in cap

The hunter walked past the clock tower. He took out a gun and fired. Where did he end up?

To the police.

What is business in Russian?

This is to steal a box of vodka, sell it, and drink the money

A hundred clothes and all without fasteners.

Bum.

What can you see with your eyes closed?

Dream

When is the best time for a black cat to get into the house?

When the door to the house is ajar

What is it: green, bald and jumping?

Soldier at a disco.

The more there are, the less weight. What is this?

Holes.

Is it possible to jump higher than a nine-story building?

It's possible, because nine-story buildings can't jump

What won't fit in the biggest pot?

Its cover.


With claws, not a bird, it flies and swears.
Electrician.


Who critical days twice a year?
For students


What can't you bake bread without?
Without crust


How many eggs can you eat on an empty stomach?
One thing is that the rest will no longer be on an empty stomach.


Who doesn't get their hair wet in the pouring rain?
Bald.


What is the most valuable thing in human milk?
Tara


Is it possible to get married in your fifties?
It’s possible, but it’s better at twenty or more


What is the cow in front and the bull behind?
Letter "K"


How many months in a year have 28 days?
All months


Which knot cannot be untied?
Railway


Why does the rooster sing so much?
Because he has ten wives and not a single mother-in-law


There's a board in your teeth, there's melancholy in your eyes.
The man fell into the village aftershock.


When can the word “hands” be several pronouns at once?
When the hands are “You” - “We” - “You”


You are sitting on an airplane, a horse is in front of you, a car is behind you. Where are you at?
On the carousel


What word starts with three letters "G" and ends with three letters "I"?
Trigonometry


Who is a diplomat?
A man who can convince his wife that the expensive fur coat she has chosen makes her look fat


What will the bay horse be like if you give it a bath?
Wet


In which fields does grass not grow?
On the brim of the hat


What kind of ribbon cannot be woven into a braid?
Machine gun

What are the similarities between a travel agent and a gynecologist?
Where others rest, they work hard!


What disease does no one get sick on land?
Nautical


What kind of woman first rubs shoulders with you and then starts demanding money from you?
Conductor in public transport.


What should you do when you see a green man?
Cross the street.


What is it: there is a head, there is no head, there is a head, but there is no head?
The lame man walks behind the fence


How to write correctly: “buttocks” or “buttocks”?
Look up the letter "w" in the dictionary.


Why is the floor in the men's restroom often covered with sawdust?
To avoid breaking eggs if you fall


Why does the gorilla big nostrils?
Because she has thick fingers


What is the difference between a woman’s breast and a toy breast? railway?
Nothing: both are created for children, and dads play with them


Which clock shows the correct time only twice a day?
Which are worth it.


What can't be done in space?
Hang myself.


Doesn't bark, doesn't bite, and has exactly the same name.
"@"


Who will never answer “Yes” to a question posed to him?
Sleeping man to the question: “Are you sleeping?”


What comb can you use to comb your hair?
Petushin


How do day and night end?
With a soft sign


The pear is hanging - you can’t eat it. Why?
Boxers can punch you in the face.


What can't you eat for breakfast?
Dinner and supper


What is it that is easy to pick up the earth, but difficult to throw it far?
Pooh


How is a horse different from a needle?
First you sit on a needle, then you jump, and first you jump on a horse, then you sit


What is between the mountain and the valley?
Letter "I"


What can stand and walk, hang and stand, walk and lie at the same time?
Watch


What was “tomorrow”, and what will we be “yesterday”?
Present day


There were four birch trees, on each birch there were four large branches, on each
a large branch has four small branches, on each small branch


four apples each. How many apples are there in total?
No one. Apples don't grow on birch trees!


Six legs, two heads, and one tail. What it is?
Rider


Hangs on the wall and falls at the same time. What is this?
Barometer


The most reliable part in a domestic car?
Imported radio


One corner of the square table was sawed off. How many angles does he have now?
Five


What is it: blue, big, with antlers and completely stuffed with hares?
Trolleybus


What should a woman be like?
Like a clinic: clean, public and free


What rocks are not in the sea?
Sukhikh


What question can never be answered in the affirmative?
To the question: “Are you sleeping?”


It's hanging between your legs, it's called "X"?
Tail


Is it possible to predict the score of a football match before it starts?
The score of any match before it starts will be 0:0


What can you cook but cannot eat?
Homework


The train travels at a speed of 70 km/h. Which direction will the smoke fly?
The train has no smoke


Who speaks all languages?
Echo