When will the midlife crisis in men end. How to survive a midlife crisis in men - Psychology

Hormonal "Earthquake" of the highest score! What's happening? How to explain such behavior? This is a midlife crisis for men. It is also called "forties - fatal". Neither a beloved woman, nor children, nor work, nor even habitual hobbies saves!

middle age disaster

After 35 years, a man sums up: what he has achieved in life, what heights he has reached. He wants not only the approval of others, but a standing ovation, an award, admiration.

And who, in fact, are his viewers, his audience? Wife, children and next of kin. But relations with my wife have long moved to another level, to "Buy bread and milk."

Children are busy with their youthful or adolescent problems, they often do not care about their father. And the parents, if they are alive, then they probably don’t see their son so often. The man begins to worry and look for solutions, he can’t sit still, he longs for change.

Symptoms

And here comes the moment when the first symptoms of the crisis begin:

Psychological

Shaky emotional behavior: frequent mood swings, manifestation of aggression. Fatigue, insomnia, irritability, silence, bad mood, weakness and apathy.

The wife in these “fatal forties” becomes the main irritant, her man accuses her of everything bad, vents anger, reproaches. It is at this time that he wants to become what he has not yet been or has not happened to.

Physical

With age, a person does not get younger. The body breaks down here and there. suffer internal organs, a heart, vascular system. But it is the work of hematopoiesis that affects sexual function. There is a fear of impotence

Behavioral

Not only is a man irritated by his wife, but he also often cannot fulfill his marital duty. The missus feels cold in bed. And the man craves innovation.

And then he begins to look at young beauties, gets younger, uses unacceptable words in the lexicon, makes changes to the wardrobe for trendy clothes. His behavior is changing in general.

There is a midlife crisis around the period from 30 to 45 years (plus or minus 5-7). By 40, a man focuses on potency, tries to culminate in intimacy.

Increasingly, it seems that the relationship with his wife has become obsolete, leaving only a sense of duty. He accuses his wife of not giving him life, to feel young. In some families, it even comes to assault.

What should a man do in a midlife crisis?

For starters, calm down. It's only hormonal changes organism. Accept yourself for who you are. Stop looking to the past.

Better make your present and future so full and bright that there are no thoughts of regretting anything. Learn something new.

For example, if you don’t know how to dance, but have long wanted to learn, take dance lessons. Never ridden a motorcycle, maybe worth a try? Decide on it!

Have you heard the name Paul Chappius Bragg? This is a well-known American figure in alternative medicine. He propagated healthy lifestyle life and in his 95 years was engaged in surfing.

A person needs adrenaline, emotions. Jump with a parachute, kayak down a mountain river, take a jet ski on a sea holiday… there are so many ways.

Delayed Life Syndrome. Build a house, plant a tree and raise a son. When do you think about yourself? Fill your life with the brightest colors! Live now! Moreover, the body requires.

Does the soul call for sentiment? Make your wife romantic. Invite her for a horseback ride, go fishing together, go out to sea under sail, start traveling, finally!

shared memories and positive emotions saved many marriages! Fulfill your old dreams! Turn them into desires, and the latter into goals. Fulfilled desires soften the midlife crisis in men.

Set yourself specific real goals. Impossible often leads to frustration (vain expectation) and depression.

Make it a rule to take care of yourself and your health, because this is not a manifestation of weakness, but the prevention of ailments. Breathe more often fresh air, allocate time for walks, because they have such a positive effect on a healthy and sound sleep.

Drive away laziness, inaction and blues! They not only interfere with the achievement of goals, but also give life to the symptoms of the crisis.

If you have a favorite thing to do, do it or find a new one that will help you distract from bad thoughts or bad feelings.

Avoid overwork and heavy loads. Leisure, funny company friends, relatives will support this.

How to help a man survive a crisis?

Accept him for who he is. Do not reproach him for anything and do not blame. Do not also throw threats of divorce.

Do not run away from the existing problem and do not let everything take its course without even trying to solve it. Do not drown your dissatisfaction with alcohol, festivities, drugs, computer games and others.

This can only exacerbate the situation. Do not blame yourself for his condition, it is nature that changes his behavior, not you. Do not shed tears, especially in the presence of a spouse.

Trust a man. Do not suspect him of something bad, do not follow him, but rather take care of yourself. Believe me, it is more pleasant for a man to see a well-groomed woman nearby, beautiful woman, and not a disheveled "again-at-work-lingered" grum.

Make your loved one a holiday. Thank him for all the achievements, because he has been trying for you and your family for so many years. Raise his self-esteem.

Invite more often to romantic evenings, arrange surprises, make compliments.
Remember what is right psychological support beloved woman will greatly help to overcome all stages of the crisis.

Reading time: 7 minutes

You have been together for 10-15 years, the children have grown up, many difficulties are behind you, and you have always managed to find a way out of all life situations. In your joint asset - your own home, car, savings in a bank account. It would seem, live and rejoice. But no matter how! He seemed to be off the chain, not himself. Either he buys clothes in a teenage style, then he stares at nymphets, then he gets annoyed with and without it. If these symptoms are present, know that you are dealing with a midlife crisis.

Midlife crisis - what is it?

According to statistics, every second man aged 35-40 is subject to a midlife crisis, the manifestations of which can be very different. In particular, he may not like his own appearance, your appearance, the behavior of children, their school performance. In general, he suddenly realizes that half of his life is already behind him, and he, in fact, is no longer very young, has not known all the delights of life, and time is getting shorter every day.

And so he begins to frantically "make up for the lost". Hence the desire to radically change your life, get rid of the routine, prove to yourself and others that not everything is lost, and there is still time to change life for the better. In their desire to change their lives, men can go very far: they leave the family, find new passions for themselves, behave inappropriately.

Signs of a midlife crisis

Dissatisfaction with career and work. It manifests itself even if everything is in order with the career, the salary is high enough and paid regularly. It seems to a man that he is a loser who could not achieve much in life. It becomes especially offensive to him after comparing himself and his more successful peers. If even close people begin to reproach him for this, the situation of dissatisfaction with himself is even more aggravated.
Dissatisfaction with your personal life. First of all, this is expressed in the realization of the fact: having married, he lost his freedom, and now he is forced to sacrifice his desires, and, in fact, his life for the sake of peace and well-being of his family. A man realizes that there is still a lot around beautiful girls, so why not "pick up" them? He begins to idealize the women around him, forgetting that everyone has their flaws. It seems to him that his wife is not the best, and he made the wrong choice.
Dissatisfaction with your health. From time to time, bouts of hypochondria roll over men - it begins to seem to him that he is already seriously ill, old, infirm. The search for sores, ailments begins, his suspiciousness takes on hypertrophied forms.

Dangers and consequences of a psychological failure

Men can solve their problems different ways. Some begin to intensively correct "mistakes", others are looking for an outlet in alcohol, stimulants, others are looking for solitude. In any case, the crisis must be taken seriously, especially if there is a risk of losing a family: its consequences can be very serious.

How long can the crisis last and how it can end

There is no exact answer to this question, and, probably, there cannot be. But one thing is known for sure - sooner or later the crisis will certainly end, and what kind of consequences it can lead to depends only on the man and his partner. When stopping a midlife crisis, you can even benefit from it. The most important thing is not to be led by emotions, to cope with nerves, and to think over any actions.

As a rule, the most offensive for a wife may be the departure of her husband to a young rival forever. But this doesn't happen often. For a while, of course, he can leave, but then he usually comes back. The fact is that a man aged 40-45 is no longer at the peak of his sexual activity. After several connections with young partners, he will complete the treatment with "sex therapy", and return to the bosom of the family. Whether or not to forgive him after such “treatment sessions” is a purely individual matter. We can definitely say: if a married couple overcomes the crisis period, their relationship will only get stronger. Of course, psychological difficulties cannot be overcome in a week or even a month - this may take a year or two.

How to Cope with a Midlife Crisis (Tips for Men)

The first step is to dramatically change the environment, occupation and habits. If you are not satisfied with the work, you understand its futility, do not be afraid to leave such a job: you just need to decide. If you feel a deterioration in your health, stop smoking. If the cause of stress is your poor form, go to the gym or the stadium, this is fixable. If everything is in order with work, but she is rather tired of it, change the situation, take a vacation for at least a month and go on a long journey.
It also happens that a man worries about the fact that he did not have time for something in his life, and now he regrets it. You need to make time for your hobbies and hobbies.
In moments of mental weakness, remember that you are a man, the head of the family. Your loved ones need you, you are responsible for their fate.
Remember that you have already achieved a lot, do not equal only the most successful peers. Surely there are those who will never reach your level.
Learn to live for today and enjoy every day. Enjoy the sunny day, the leaves on the trees, the smile of a child, and then life will become easier.

We must be prepared for the fact that the crisis will last quite a long time. Remember: a man can and must cope with his problems himself, because he is a man.
Be patient. No need to climb with advice, as well as suggestions to go to the doctor.
Remember - you are not to blame for what happened. No need to reproach yourself, even if he blames you for everything.
Do not arrange scenes of jealousy, do not reproach him. Let him be alone for a while.
Be prepared for the fact that for some time he will be callous towards you. He is now unable to show positive feelings.
Even if he does not behave very nicely, try to act towards him with all the warmth and love. Feel free to tell him that you still love him, let him feel that you really need him.
You do not need to show him what you are going through - let him think that everything is in order with you. Moreover, you can’t cry in front of him and pray for him to return.
Don't try to find solace in alcohol, smoking or more strong means This will only make your condition worse.
Do not threaten him, do not force him to become the same before the time, do not kick him out of the house if you do not want him to leave.

The best way to avoid problems is to prevent them.

In rare cases, changes in the behavior of a man pass abruptly and imperceptibly. In all other cases, family discord must have preceded something. Therefore, it is necessary to pay attention to the slightest disagreements, and to extinguish possible conflicts in advance.
You should not expect that the feelings and mutual relations of the spouses will remain the same as during the honeymoon. After 10 or more years of marriage, feelings become dull, and there is no getting away from it. If you turn a blind eye to this fact, and continue to live without noticing it, everything can end sadly for your marriage.
To prevent possible psychological stagnation, we recommend that you regularly think about changes in family life Nothing contributes to the collapse of a marriage like monotony and stagnation. On the contrary, novelty and change contribute to the development of relationships. Make a list of ideas and suggestions with your husband on how to make life more varied. Be sure to travel at least once a year, but not to the same place.
Do not forget to equip your apartment - make repairs, improve it. A great option to make life brighter is to buy a car. Pass on the rights, and go on an exciting journey!

How many crises can a man have

The very first crisis occurs in a man at the age of 21-22 years. At this time, the young man begins to turn into a man, and he no longer idealizes his wife and marriage. He begins to understand that life is not eternal Honeymoon and harsh everyday life.
The next crisis occurs after 5-7 years of marriage, when feelings are just beginning to dull. According to statistics, most of marriages break up precisely at 5-7 years of marriage.
The midlife crisis is manifested in a man aged 35-37 years. At this time, there is a reassessment of one's own achievements, and the understanding comes that half of life has already been lived, and its better half.

The crisis of the "empty nest" - occurs at the age of 45-50 years, when grown-up children begin an independent life. At this time, the man, as they say, is released from his duties of maintaining and raising children.
At the age of 60-65, some men are subject to fear of approaching old age. They are afraid of the onset of old age, and begin to intensively prepare for death.

As you can see, various crises often occur in family life. Therefore, one must always be ready to resist various negative psychological situations in relationships with her husband - this is the only way to save the family and marriage.

The midlife crisis in men is a huge problem that affects not only him alone, but the whole family. It occurs in every second man who has reached the age of thirty, and it will not work to avoid or ignore this phenomenon. So modern woman should take care of how to help overcome this problem, and survive all the misfortunes with her husband.

You probably know what relationships should be in a family, but with the onset of a crisis, a man’s relationship is kept in the balance. Often a husband can not only scream in vain, but also go “to the left”, so it is extremely important to help him survive this difficult moment - the onset of a crisis.

signs

Of course, a lot of factors should be taken into account, perhaps this is far from a critical situation, but simply trouble at work, or increased fatigue. So let's look at the signs that a man has a midlife crisis:

He is dissatisfied with himself and his work. As a rule, a midlife crisis is a ball of problems that not only exist, they also accumulate. Therefore, a man becomes dissatisfied with his work, his position, salary. Why is the performance indicator one of the first to appear? Imagine for a second that your husband lost his job. For him, this is almost everything, he existed at the expense of work, and even endured all family difficulties at work. And now he falls into the risk zone, or in general, he can lose it. During a crisis, any man rethinks his life, and it all starts with the fact that, they say, if he did something differently, then life could be different. I would have graduated from another university, gone to another job, or even changed my specialty. He can begin to compare himself with his peers, and if they turn out to be richer and more successful, depression is guaranteed to him.
The man is dissatisfied with his personal life. This is also not uncommon. In a crisis, it seems to him that his wife does not love him enough, that his children have been brought up incorrectly, they treat him badly, that no one appreciates him. And in general, other wives are much better. This is typical behavior, because of which more than one family is destroyed.
The husband is overly concerned about his health. He becomes too suspicious in this matter, constantly looking for diseases that were even more so, he believes that he is being poorly looked after, and so on.

If you find your husband has these symptoms, then be prepared - he is having a midlife crisis. But thanks to what we will tell further, you will be able to experience it with him, and help him believe in himself, respectively, he will come out of such a depressed state.

How to get rid of the problem

First of all, only a woman can help bring her husband out of this state. The midlife crisis in men is dangerous, how to get rid of the problem - now we will analyze.

So, first of all, you should know the secrets of how to improve relations with your husband. You need to understand that a woman in a family is an important link, but she should stand next to her husband, and not above or below him. Try to behave with restraint, do not react to the mood swings of your husband. In no case do not enter into disputes and polemics with him, you still won’t prove anything, only make him more angry.
Praise the man more often. Every man loves praise, especially he will be pleased to hear it from his wife. cook for him pleasant surprises, prepare a new dish, for example, homemade, which will instantly cheer you up. Inspire him that he is an excellent worker, that he is irreplaceable, peers and no match for him.
Instill faith in the future. During a midlife crisis, men experience mental weakness. You must logically explain to him that he is still young, handsome, easily overcomes difficulties, and great achievements and successes lie ahead of him. Direct his energy in the right direction.
Improve the intimate atmosphere. Oddly enough, but this factor is the most useful and has a strong influence. Many men seek solace in other women because their wives won't give it. Therefore, you should improve the intimate atmosphere, perhaps try something new. If the husband has changed, it is only because he is afraid that he can do nothing. Try to prevent this, go to study at the "School of Elite Wives" - Lisa Pieterkina. It's still that option! Having passed such a school, a woman will never allow any crises in the family, neither middle nor junior, not a single senior!
Prepare delicious mulled wine, arrange a romantic candlelight dinner…

What time does it start, when does it end and how long does a midlife crisis last for men? We will try to answer these pretty FAQ, exciting the majority of the strong part of humanity.

In the vast majority of cases, changes begin after 40 years. Happens to some men given state appears earlier or does not occur at all. It depends on many factors of a person's life: status, social position, education, health and so on. Any individual sets himself goals and meanings of existence. When these goals are not achieved, difficulties, depression, anger at oneself or others appear.

Sometimes it turns out the opposite, a person achieves a goal, but is not happy, and depression, anger and others also come. negative emotions. In this case, there are two reasons:

1. Was not delivered right aim imposed by society or some of its members. She did not fit the man at all, but he blindly followed her.

2. It seems that the person is happy, he has achieved what he wanted, but something is missing. Fear comes, but what to do next, why do I exist? This arises because the previously set tasks have been completed, and new ones have not yet been set. At this moment, a person is disoriented, the meaning to achieve something is lost. We all live for something or someone, for example, for the sake of children, ourselves, work, parents, money or other people.

3. Experiencing adolescence, everyone wants freedom, earn money themselves, live for their own pleasure, not depend on anyone, be like adults, set themselves many goals for great life. But closer to the age of 30-40, already having their own families, jobs or businesses, people ask themselves: “Am I living the right way?” and begin to wonder how good it was when they were teenagers. This period was characterized by complete freedom, where you lived for your own pleasure, without encumbrances in the form of bills and thoughts about how to feed your family, raise children or not let your boss down. Two opposite images appear in the head, which conflict with each other and cause a complex range of emotions leading to a turning point.

How does a midlife crisis manifest itself in men? They can quit their jobs, change or file for divorce, especially if there are problems in the relationship of the spouses, they can destroy everything and live for themselves, as before. Some become happier, but often, then comes the understanding that they did wrong, did not appreciate their happiness, which became even worse. After all, it was possible to live for yourself without destroying anything, since the children have matured, you can change jobs or grow further, develop.

After 40 years, life is just beginning! This just happens after a tipping point, when people discover themselves in a new way, rethink their views and values, set new realistic goals based on an already large store of knowledge.

4. There is another reason. When a young man makes plans in his youth, he imagines his future and sees a certain picture. He goes to this dream, wearing "pink" glasses. But in the end it doesn't turn out as great as planned. It seems to have achieved the task, but something is not right. Many examples can be given:

I have a wife, but it turned out that the relationship is not going as smoothly as we would like
have a job you love but no career advancement, or wage not satisfied, or problems with superiors or employees, or, conversely, in financial sector made great progress, but the work does not bring pleasure.
have hobbies but no health
I want kids, but I can't

Then it is very easy to enter a midlife crisis. The main thing is not to panic, not to make hasty decisions, to have common sense. You can find a way out of most situations. It is also worth learning to appreciate what you have, to see the good in small things, to rejoice as children rejoice. Perhaps everything is not as bad as it seems at first glance.

To be ready for possible consequences, you need to know at what age a difficult time can come. Basically, the strong sex faces such a problem in the range from 30 to 50 years. Up to this point, there are certain stages in the growth of the individual. If he passes these them perfectly, then the problem may go unnoticed, painlessly or not at all. It depends on a number of factors.

What should be done?

The first point affecting further development events, occurs at about 27 years. During this period, bells appear for young men that he did not do something, did not realize it. In psychology, certain stages are distinguished, at which there are tasks, in the solution of which, as a result, the question of how to survive the midlife crisis does not arise.

27-30 years old

What should be done so that in men of 30 years old it goes unnoticed? Until the age of 27, a young man must be born mentally, that is, become a psychologically mature person. To do this, a number of questions need to be addressed:

1. Detach from parents and be independent.

2. Earn money and provide for yourself.

3. To teach to understand what a girl is, why she is needed, that is, her deep essence and relationship with her.

4. Become a family relationship professional, be the "family ship captain." If the "captain" is illiterate, where can he lead the ship? Women, in such cases, seeing such a "captain", move him away from the helm and begin to lead themselves. This point is now the least resolved among the representatives of the stronger sex.

Here are the main stages of the psychological maturity of a guy. It is desirable to do this before the age of 27, up to a maximum of 30. First of all, parents should push this idea. But, unfortunately, they often do not have certain knowledge, so the young man himself is forced to come to this by trial and error.

If a person by the age of 27 is not endowed with certain qualities described above, there are bells that manifest themselves in the form of any difficulties: problems appear in health, in business or in relationships, etc. The older a person becomes, the more such calls begin to influence, become focused, more rigid. It's easy to get depressed at this point.

33 years

The next important stage begins at the age of 33. It is no coincidence that this period is called the age of Jesus Christ. At this time, you need to be born spiritually, to open yourself more voluminously. This kind of birth mostly happens spontaneously, people do not consciously do it. But in vain! They often let this process take its course, and spiritual birth is not done. Or, for example, a person who is not mentally born, skipping this stage, is born immediately spiritually. It is these people who are at risk in more late periods, they can blow the "roof".

After the passage of this time, the following qualities should be present:

must be financially secure
be able to provide not only for themselves, but also for their families,
clearly build a deep relationship with his wife, in general, with a woman,
to understand the whole depth of the world, etc.

As a result, a young person must gradually form in himself knowledge that goes beyond the limits of ordinary consciousness. This is the indicator of a well-running process. At the moment when a difficult male psychological period comes, he will pass it unnoticed or with the least losses, since before that he went through all the stages sequentially.

But if this does not happen, and there are problems with health, with girls, work or something else, then a turning point begins. You need to listen to the prompts and to your feelings.

How to overcome the midlife crisis in men? Psychology answers this question very easily.

It is necessary to finish those tasks that were not completed in the early periods.

Main symptoms

Midlife crisis in men symptoms are very easy to track - no growth in family relationships, in health, in business, etc. He begins to die morally, can go into drunkenness or acquire other bad habits, begins to break down, as something may collapse or does not go according to his plan, feels emptiness, pity, irritation, anxiety, emptiness, longing.

The biggest problem is blatant illiteracy in matters of life, family and own state. For this reason, problems arise. A person feels that he is capable of great things, he wants to change something, but he himself does not understand what exactly. At this moment, he can radically change his life, mostly not in better side while destroying everything. Each situation can be solved by building a chain of events. For this, only elementary knowledge of psychology is needed, and then any representative of the stronger sex becomes the master of the situation.

How can you help?

How to help a man survive a midlife crisis and what to do in such a situation? A beloved woman, a spouse can help overcome the crisis. How to help? No matter how trite it sounds, love, building close partnerships. A woman must develop an understanding that she needs to focus as much as possible on her companion, take care of him, but most importantly, remain feminine and attractive. They should be a couple, in no case should they put someone above themselves, someone below, but just be a couple. In no case do not blame yourself or your soul mate. We must try to understand each other and support. This is the main value in life for both partners.

When husbands have a midlife crisis, it is very important to try to help them in a timely manner, because marriage often breaks down during this period. There are situations that are very difficult to cope with, and a woman becomes a hostage to this process.

Representatives of the stronger sex sometimes do not realize what is happening to them, they begin to suffer, try to compensate different ways, may blame someone, looking for different explanations. Can be used defense mechanisms, rationalization, intellectualization, repression, so as not to encounter a situation where it is really clear that something is happening to oneself.

How can I help my husband get through his midlife crisis?

The fair sex must arrange a number of things in a certain order:

1. The second half in the first place. At the age of 40, most men have this difficulty, and the woman herself should want to help her companion, because if he feels good, then the woman will have a loved one who can be relied upon, build life together, plans. It is not always easy to do this, but when you yourself feel comfortable, then those who are close to him are filled with this feeling.

2. The space of life, that is, you need to equip right conditions for family life.

The wisdom of a woman is to be constantly interesting. The stronger sex without female love is an aggressor that breaks itself and the world around. After 40 years, a woman needs to slow down in her activities and pay maximum attention to herself, her development, femininity, health, and the second childbearing period begins for her. It is by this time that male representatives just truly become fathers.

Psychological struggle is always difficulties, difficulties, pain. It so happens that at this moment the personality, thinking, behavior, emotional sphere face certain obstacles, conflicts that literally tear apart from the inside. If a person copes with this state, then he is reborn in a new quality, acquiring certain new meanings and possibilities. It is worth remembering the words of the great thinker Friedrich Nietzsche:

"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."

Many books have been written on the subject, but we can recommend Jim Convey's Men's Midlife Crisis. In it, the author popularly talks not only about the causes of occurrence, but also gives specific advice on how best to cope with a life problem.

When does a midlife crisis occur in men?

Statistics indicate that 50% of the entire male, adult population of our planet are subject to a midlife crisis. The manifestations of this period are varied. For some, they appear brightly, and for some, they do not experience much discomfort. Often, men are dissatisfied with their appearance, aging, deterioration physical form. There are problems in bed.

When does a midlife crisis begin in men? Basically, this period occurs after 40 years in an average man. But, this condition can manifest itself both at 35 and at 45. Every man can fall into this “trap”, regardless of his position in society. Today it has been established that the crisis period has rejuvenated, and already at the age of 35 obsessive philosophical thoughts begin, a reassessment of all life.

How long does a midlife crisis last for a man? There are no exact time limits. Someone is experiencing this period of only 1 year. And for someone, a depressive state drags on for decades. In the latter case, men often try to drown their "woe" in alcohol. It is important that the representative of the stronger sex has support, otherwise alcoholism is inevitable.

What causes a midlife crisis in men?

As a rule, the reasons for the appearance of such a state have their roots in adolescence guy. After all, it is not for nothing that they say that all problems come from childhood. The degree of manifestation of the midlife crisis depends on the status of the young man in the team, school, independence, attachment to parental shelter. If a guy is individual in his decisions, independent, in the future he will go through a crisis period without vivid symptoms.

Role in society

Already by the age of 12, boys begin to think, evaluate their role, importance in the yard party, class, school as a whole. He is concerned with the following questions:

The value of his personality;
The value of his opinion;
sociability;
The value of his sense of humor.

It is the outside opinion that matters the most. Only by this criterion can a guy evaluate himself. If something is wrong, the young man begins to look for his own, comfortable social role. Such a search does not go smoothly, and is the basis for the formation of complexes. If the boy's real social role does not coincide with the desired one, all the complexes will pass with him into the adult period. He is not as socially significant as he would like.

In the future, it is difficult for a man to find himself in professional activity, romantic relationship. For example, in adolescence, a young man had a great interest in sex, but his indecision, shyness did not allow him to have sexual relations. In adulthood this will manifest itself in the fact that a man will not be able to build a full-fledged relationship, he will always look for new passions for sex. During a midlife crisis, only sex becomes his salvation. He is trying to make up for the lack of experience that he allowed in his youth because of his timidity.

Parental control

In the same teenage period, the young man tries to move away from his parents as quickly as possible, to become independent, independent. The child should have the right to make mistakes, he should fill his "bumps". But, often, especially mothers, do not give them the desired freedom. They take care of their child in every possible way, which is regarded as distrust. This kills the significance of the child, his self-esteem.

If the guy does not manage to get out from under the parental wing in time, at the age of 40 he realizes that his whole life did not go according to his scenario. At the time of the crisis, they leave a stable, well-paid job, stop communicating with their father or mother, do rash acts (sell an apartment, buy a car). This is a kind of teenage protest, a boycott, but only in adulthood. “I want” begins to prevail over “necessary”. A man begins to overestimate his existence in terms of lost years due to parental fault.

Physiological features

Apart from psychological problems, changes at the level of physiology also lead to the emergence of a midlife crisis. It is by the age of 40 that the first signs of old age will begin:

Fatigue;
wrinkles;
chronic diseases;
Decreased sexual activity.

There is regret for oneself, for one's image. And all the conversations among friends of the same age are reduced to the topics of prolonging youth, ways to satisfy his wife. Do not forget that by the age of 40 it changes hormonal background male body. Observed a sharp decline production of the sex hormone testosterone. Against this background, libido and physical endurance are noticeably reduced, and body weight is increased.

Other causes of the crisis period

Nature has laid down that main goal each representative of the stronger sex is an achievement, forward movement, conquest. As a rule, at the age of 40-45, all the main goals are achieved - career, work, social status, family, children. A man does not have a sense of expectation, anticipation of victory. One could enjoy what has been achieved, rejoice at the victories that have been won.

But, a man needs to be regularly admired and praised. The wife who is already there long years, cannot appreciate his achievements, from the outside, with a new look. In this regard, they are often admired by other ladies, they have mistresses. Not because they no longer love their soul mate, but for the sake of self-affirmation that he is still capable of something.

Also, the midlife crisis is characterized by a certain uncertainty. What's next, when the tree is planted, the house is built, and the son has long grown up? And then illness, impotence, pension. He begins to fear himself, not age. The reflection that appears in the mirror at 45 is fundamentally different from the twenty-five-year-old. And it's scary.

How does a midlife crisis manifest itself in men?

Signs of a midlife crisis in men are not difficult to recognize. His behavior changes dramatically. Often in their direction they hear "Already out of my mind." As a rule, the symptoms of the crisis in all men are the same, only manifested with different intensity. So, the main features are:

Depression. The man is constantly in a bad, depressed mood. This state leaves its mark on daily activities. depressive state can manifest itself in the form of loss of appetite, indifference to family, work, insomnia, apathy.
Feeling of pity. Self-pity is especially pronounced. No longer a young man can complain about any little things, be offended by some phrases in his direction.
The pursuit of adventure. He needs a new dose of adrenaline. Therefore, he can commit a rash act in the form of buying a new car. There are also constant gatherings with friends or alone in pubs. The same men who devoted all their time to the family are moving away from her. They find themselves in a new extreme hobby.
Reassessment of life. They are trying to change something in their lives. It could be a job change. Wives often notice cardinal changes in judgments and life priorities.
Irritability. During a midlife crisis young man difficult to analyze life situation. All this may look like increased aggressiveness, anger. He begins to blame everyone: his wife, children, bosses, colleagues. But not just yourself.
Doubts about the correct choice of a life partner. There are situations when a happy married couple, having lived together for decades, breaks up. The husband expresses his opinion that then in his youth he made the main mistake - he married his current wife. It is important to remember here that such statements are not conscious, they are just a manifestation of the age of crisis.

Very often forty-year-old men come up with imaginary diseases, pathologies. If a husband regularly talks about his health, his deterioration is the first bell. The wife needs to know that this is one of the signs of a crisis. He can start going to hospitals, taking some vitamins, dietary supplements, pills. The man most often complains of shortness of breath, poor eyesight, decreased potency, weak erection, high pressure.

Some men begin to pay too close attention to their body, face. What is unusual for mature representatives of the stronger sex. They may start walking gym and disappear there for hours every day. Some even decide to help cosmetologists, surgeons, just to restore youth.

How to overcome a midlife crisis in a man?

To make it easier for a man to survive this period, it is better for him to change his environment. It can be trains out of town, to the sea, rest in a house in the village. If he is not satisfied with the profession, it needs to be changed, the type of activity must be changed. Any innovation will help to cope with depressive manifestations. If the “guy” is just tired, but in general everything suits him, you need to take a vacation and just relax.

It is better to find a hobby, an occupation for the soul. This will kill the feeling of self-pity, dissatisfaction from the spent years. In the most difficult moments, a man, nevertheless, needs to remember that he is the head of the family. He has no right to lose heart, let his wife and children down. Such a degree of responsibility will not allow the husband to enter the stage of apathy.

The past years, past achievements should be looked at with pride, those happy moments should be remembered. They were, and they were unique. Many of my colleagues and friends have not achieved even half of these victories. Psychologists advise to live in the moment, today. No need to constantly return to the past, and regularly think about the future. Especially about an unhappy, sad future.

There are a number of tips for wives whose husbands are going through a crisis moment in their lives:

Show patience, understanding. Do not go to your spouse with advice, he will figure it out himself.
Get ready for long run crisis.
It is not your fault in this situation. This is a natural process that needs to be experienced.
Don't demand heightened attention to yourself. Let the husband be alone with himself.
Be prepared for your husband to be aggressive, callous, rude, and even indifferent. He may be unflattering about you.
Despite his indifference, treat your spouse with love and warmth. He must know that you will hold him at any moment, situation.
Don't show weakness. The spouse must see that in your personal life everything is normal, his behavior does not affect her in any way.

Spouses must overcome this period together, but with varying degrees. The duration of the crisis depends on this. It is equally important to create the right atmosphere in intimate life. Let the decline of his sexual abilities not affect the quality sexual life. A woman should make it clear that in this phase of life, the amount of sex is no longer important. She experiences real pleasure from the time spent with her husband.