Self-destructive need for attention. The need for attention, recognition, self-expression are universal needs of every individual.

Current page: 9 (book has 13 pages total) [available reading passage: 9 pages]

Individual

“One is born as an individual, one becomes an individual, one defends individuality”(A. G. Asmolov)

The statement I have chosen is related to the problem of human nature, various aspects, characteristics of a human being, human nature. Since ancient times, people have wondered who we are, what we are like, how we are different and how we are similar. The search for answers to these questions comprises the human essence.

Modern Russian psychologist A.G. Asmolov states: “ One is born as an individual, one becomes an individual, one defends individuality.” In other words, his position can be formulated as follows: every person from birth is an individual, then in the process of development he becomes an individual, and he has to defend and prove such a characteristic as individuality to society. I agree with the position of A.G. Asmolov and also believe that while these characteristics are unified in each person, they develop differently and appear on different stages life have their own characteristics.

To substantiate my point of view, I propose to consider theoretical arguments. According to modern social scientists, human nature is made up of the unity of social and biological qualities, which is manifested in the unity of such characteristics as the individual, personality and individuality. Each of the characteristics reflects a certain part human essence.

Every person is an individual from birth. An individual is understood as the totality of his genetically determined, biological and innate qualities. An individual is, on the one hand, an individual, and on the other hand, a typical representative of the species Homo Sapiens.

One becomes a person in the process of socialization (the process of mastering skills, knowledge and experience in the life of society, becoming a member of it), development, entering the world of social connections and interactions. That is, one can define personality as a set of socially significant and socially conditioned qualities of a person. In other words, we can only call a socially mature person a person.

In psychology and social science, individuality is understood as the uniqueness of a person’s qualities, both biological (the color and shape of the eyes, skin color), and acquired in the process of life, social (certain skills, talents). That is, individuality is a set of unique, inimitable qualities inherent in every person. Society strives for unification, but individuality, on the contrary, demands self-expression and protests against unification. However, in its zeal and protests, any individual must take into account the rest of the world.

Besides theoretical justifications, specific actual examples can be given. For example, Erich Fromm wrote in one of his works that a member of the primitive, primitive society, who is naturally an individual and in some sense a person, has no sense of individuality. That is, for a primitive society, the predominant feeling is a sense of identity, which can be expressed by the formula “I am we.” In other words, it is the duty of everyone who considers himself developed person defend your individuality.

Let's consider the problem using the example of a historical figure. Napoleon Bonaparte, who was never distinguished by his outstanding physical qualities, who was from birth far from the most beautiful representative of the human race, became the brightest historical figure. And he considered one of the main goals to be the defense of individuality.

Another example can be considered one of the most famous composers in the world - Ludwig van Beethoven. He was born into an ordinary Austrian family and was no different from his peers. From childhood they tried to teach him music, but at first he showed no hope. But still he managed to develop his musical inclinations into real talent. At the same time, he also had his own vibrant social and political position, for example, he refused to dedicate his Third Symphony to Napoleon. And, of course, it would be simply stupid to deny that he managed to defend his individuality.

You can also give an example from personal experience. My peers are now just at the age when personality is being formed, when a person becomes a full-fledged member of society. It is at this age that a person comes to a clear understanding that he simply needs to develop. Also in this age period, there is an undoubted need to defend your individuality and show the whole world what you are worth.

Thus, having analyzed the theoretical side of the issue and given arguments from different areas life, we can come to the conclusion that, indeed, endowed from birth with only a basic set of biological qualities and inclinations of abilities, a person develops, becoming a personality. And only after this can we talk about the need to defend one’s individuality, to prove to society one’s uniqueness and irreplaceability.

“The needs for attention, recognition, self-expression are universal needs of every individual” ( B. D. Parygin)

The statement I have chosen touches on the problem of the significance of social needs associated with the life and relationships of people in society. It is also impossible not to notice that all these needs are associated with self-realization. And this is undoubtedly important, because these needs are as universal as biological ones.

Founder social psychology B. D. Parygin states: “The needs for attention, recognition, self-expression are universal needs of every individual.” In other words, the needs of a spiritual orientation, such as the need for attention, recognition, self-expression, are present in every person, are natural and inalienable. This class of needs can also be called needs associated with a person’s self-realization in society. It is difficult to disagree with this point of view, because it is this class of needs that makes a person human.

To confirm the chosen point of view, the following theoretical arguments can be given. Need can be defined as a state of dissatisfaction, need, which each of us strives to overcome. Needs are what drive human behavior and give him motivation for activity. There are many ways to classify human needs, but, by and large, they all agree on one thing: the division of all human needs into primary and secondary, or lower and higher. The lower, or primary, include biological, physiological needs, common to humans and animals. These are needs such as the need for food, water, and safety. Higher or secondary needs, in turn, are divided into subclasses (for example, in A. Maslow’s classification system of human needs). The main of these subclasses are existential (they determine a person’s life in social sphere), prestigious (associated with achieving status, social recognition) and ideal, or spiritual (associated with finding the meaning of life, the desire for beauty, etc.). Thus, the need for attention and recognition can be classified as a person's prestigious needs, while the need for self-expression represents an ideal or spiritual need.

In addition to theoretical justifications, specific factual arguments can also be given. An example would be bright historical figure- Adolf Gitler. Many psychologists subsequently argued that this man was a bundle of complex mental disorders. In particular, Erich Fromm explained Hitler's absurd desire for such a strange satisfaction of the needs for attention, recognition and self-expression as an extreme manifestation of narcissism. Thus, this person can serve as an exaggerated example of the desire to satisfy this layer of problems.

But people did not always understand the universality of these needs. IN ancient world there was a class of people who simply had neither the opportunity nor the right to satisfy these needs. We are talking about slaves. Undoubtedly, like all people, they sought to satisfy these needs, for which they received only beatings and ridicule of their overseers.

And finally, an example from literature can be the hero of A.P. Chekhov’s play “The Cherry Orchard,” Petya Trofimov, an eternal student. His whole story was an attempt to express himself through his knowledge and theories. However, in most cases, attempts to satisfy the need for attention and recognition from other people remain unsuccessful.

You can also give an example from personal experience. Even based on my poor life experience, I can say that these needs are extremely important for every person. After all, it is not enough to simply achieve success; it is important that it be appreciated and recognized by society. Even Small child runs to his mother to show her the Easter cake he made with the sole purpose of receiving well-deserved praise - recognition.

Thus, after analyzing theoretical aspect problems and citing factual reinforcements, we can conclude that indeed, such prestigious and spiritual needs as the need for attention, recognition and self-expression are an integral part of the human being.

The statement I have chosen concerns the formation of a family structure, the importance of family for a person. This issue is extremely important in the modern world, since society is now rapidly changing, while traditional ties are losing their importance. The family was, is and will be one of the most important social institutions. The behavior of people in a family in relation to each other is one of the factors in the formation of personality; the harmony and inner peace of a person depend on it. It is very important that it remains a fundamental value.

V. A. Sukhomlinsky, teacher and writer, believed that in family life it is necessary to take into account the thoughts, beliefs, feelings and aspirations of its members. Thus, Sukhomlinsky considers it necessary to have mutual understanding, mutual acceptance, and support for each other by people connected by blood ties. Indeed, it is impossible to disagree with his opinion. I also believe that it is very important that family members understand each other and take into account the thoughts and beliefs of their relatives.

The institution of the family can be considered as a small group, connected primarily by everyday relations, households, marriage or kinship. The main tasks of the family in society are the regulation of gender relations, the birth of physically healthy children, the formation and education of the younger generation, emotional release, physical, economic and psychological protection of family members, the establishment of close economic relations - living together, maintaining household. The emotional and psychological function emphasized by Sukhomlinsky is especially important. Family is a refuge from problems and everyday troubles. A person should associate home and receiving help with it. Sukhomlinsky draws our attention to the fact that in order for a family to function normally, we must try to understand loved ones, be able to limit our own interests and restrain our emotions for the sake of others. Many children grow up to be selfish people who believe that everyone owes them everything. Such a person will not be able to feel comfortable in society, at school, or at work. The family is a unit of society projected onto it.

Family relationships in people's understanding have always been very complex and responsible. Since ancient times, in proverbs, sayings, and poems, much attention has been paid to the relationship between spouses, raising children, and organizing home life. Psychologists see the causes of family troubles in a group of factors: 1) extremely harsh paternal discipline, 2) insufficient maternal supervision (indifference, carelessness), 3) insufficient paternal affection, 4) insufficient maternal affection, 5) lack of cohesion in the family. So what is needed to avoid problems in family life, so that children grow up happy and parents lead a calm life? It is necessary that each family member can listen to the other, so that no one seeks to establish his own dictatorship, and that the goals and desires of each person are perceived with understanding.

In literature we can see a lot of examples of how tyranny or misunderstanding lead to the collapse of families, to the misfortune of their members. In the story “The Thunderstorm” by A. N. Ostrovsky, Kabanikha forced everyone to obey herself, decided everything for others, forced them to live by their own rules, without taking into account the wishes of their loved ones. Thanks to this, no one loved her, she drove her own son’s wife to suicide.

In the modern world, we are also faced with how important it is to always listen and hear loved ones, to always help them, to take into account thoughts and aspirations. An atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding reigns in my family, I know that my parents will always support me in new endeavors, give useful tips. I behave in exactly the same way towards them.

Thus, we understand that Sukhomlinsky, with his statement, confirmed the truism about how important it is to take into account your family, their beliefs, and dreams. Without it family life will lose all joy, and the person will live in constant stress.

“Family will always be the basis of society” (O. de Balzac)

The statement I have chosen examines the role of the family in society throughout human history. Perhaps it was thanks to her that the state and law were formed and function successfully. The problem of family well-being and security is very important, since the family is the basis of society, its social structure. Pope Pius IX said that “the family is more sacred than the state.”

French writer Honore de Balzac believed that “the family will always be the basis of society.” With this statement, the author identifies the family with the skeleton, with the foundation of the entire society, moreover, Balzac does not set any time limits, but convinces us that generations will pass, and society will still be based on the family.

I cannot but agree with the author’s opinion and also think that society originates in the family. What kind of individuals the family raises as the original unit of society, such will be the society. For the family gives birth not only to a person, but also to a citizen.

First, let's explore the very concept of family. Family is small group, based on marriage or consanguinity, the members of which are connected by a common life, interests, mutual assistance and responsibility. The family is a micromodel of a large society; it concentrates the totality of social relations. Moreover, the family is like the most ancient social institution It is the most effective means preserving the culture of the people and transmitting heredity. The position of the family serves as an indicator of the state of society.

One of the most important functions of the family is reproductive, that is, reproduction in the number of children of the number of parents, and educational: influence on the formation of the personality of the child, as well as adult family members. Another one important function families - economic and economic. It involves housekeeping, family budget, distribution of labor, guardianship of minors and the elderly. And finally, the family performs a recreational function. That is, it creates a sense of security and psychological comfort among family members, organizes family leisure and recreation.

The specifics of the modern family in Russia are determined by four main features. Firstly, a modern family is a union based on love, emotional acceptance and support. Secondly, there was a transition from the extended family to the nuclear family (parents and children). This situation is the result of the realization of the needs for freedom and independence of young people. Next feature is that the modern family system is quite open - today it is easy to get married and just as easy to get divorced. Legal, ethical, religious and socio-psychological barriers to both the creation and dissolution of marriage are reduced to a minimum. And finally, parenthood plays a special role in the modern family. A fundamentally new, humanistic position is treating the child as an individual deserving respect and the right to free choice. Today, emotional and spiritual closeness is of particular importance in parent-child relationships.

Let us give some examples that prove the role of the family in the formation of personality, and therefore society. In L. N. Tolstoy’s novel “War and Peace” in the Rostov family, everything was built on sincerity and kindness, so the children - Natasha, Nikolai, Petya, Sonya - became highly moral and cultured people, with a broad soul and a kind heart. In the Kuragin family, where career and money decided everything, both Helen and Anatole grew up to be immoral egoists.

The influence of family on the formation of personality can be examined using the example of American President F. D. Roosevelt. He was born into a rich and respectable family. Roosevelt traveled with his parents in Europe, so he had a good command of foreign languages. He also received a good education at home. Roosevelt's wife, Eleanor, always supported her husband in everything and played significant role in his political career, especially after 1921, when he fell ill with polio and was no longer parted from a wheelchair. The family of aristocrats raised a well-mannered, educated and ambitious person. His wife and children created a warm atmosphere of love and mutual assistance, which helped him achieve success in the political arena and even help the country overcome the economic crisis.

The family plays a huge role in the life of society. During the period of creation of the foundations of the Russian federal state, designed to guarantee a decent life and free development of people, legal basis state family policy. This is also evidenced by the state's social programs aimed at preserving the family, increasing childbearing, stimulating large families, and 2008 in Russia was declared the year of the family. Full healthy family must be of fundamental national interest.

My family always supports me in everything. We spend our leisure time together, my parents help me solve problems and get out of difficult situations. Family brings fullness of life and happiness.

So, the family is an integral unit of society. Not a single nation, not a single somewhat civilized society could do without a family. The foreseeable future of society is also unimaginable without family. The family produces the most important thing for the existence of civilization - man.

“Ability cannot arise outside of the corresponding specific activity” (B. M. Teplov)

The statement I have chosen is related to the role of activity in the development of human abilities, in the formation of personality. This topic is extremely relevant in the modern world and is one of the traditional ones, since the development of an individual is influenced by many factors. When considering human nature and talking about innate and acquired qualities, we must necessarily touch on those internal and external forces that help people express and realize themselves, and find their place in the world. We must be sensitive to the issue of human development.

The Soviet psychologist, Boris Mikhailovich Teplov, believed that no ability could arise outside of the corresponding specific activity. Thus, Teplov believes that inclinations can only be developed in the process of socialization, accompanied by human activity. I completely and completely agree with the author of the statement and also believe that no inclinations can develop on their own, that they need to be cultivated in oneself, and this is possible only in the process of activity and interaction with society.

By activity we mean special shape activity that is unique to humans. The activity is purposeful. The goal of almost any activity is the design, the creation of man himself. Activities can be educational, work and play. Educational activities gives a person new knowledge about the world, allows him to join the experience of past generations. Labor (and initial stage life - a game) develops socially significant qualities of a person, influences the socialization of the individual.

By abilities, scientists understand the innate characteristics of a person that allow him to successfully engage in any activity. Abilities have an innate foundation - inclinations. But it is far from a fact that, having these inclinations, a person will not destroy them and will develop them. Laziness, unwillingness to work on oneself, to listen to oneself and the advice of loved ones and teachers can destroy all the makings in the bud. Great responsibility for turning inclinations into abilities lies with adults. The most important abilities of people are mental. Their combination and skillful application in different situations is called intelligence. There are also musical, pedagogical, organizational, literary, choreographic, and artistic abilities. In addition to abilities, people also have talents. Talent is a very high level of development of a person’s abilities, manifested in the results of his activities. Each person is responsible for his own abilities and talents. Genius is highest form development of any talent. Geniuses bring something new into people's lives. Thus, we understand that any inclination is transformed into ability in the course of any work.

In external environment a person is very important positive factor influencing the development of abilities. Sergei Petrovich Kapitsa was the son of the laureate Nobel Prize, he grew up in a family of scientists, which allowed him to eventually engage in research himself and make many discoveries in the field of physics. We see how much the family influences the socialization of the individual and its development.

In the modern world we can also encounter similar examples. My grandfather cousin was a composer who taught his son the art of playing the piano. Living in an intelligent family, a person simply could not grow up to be anyone else. School also plays very well important role. If teachers pay a lot of attention to a person’s individual characteristics and encourage him to do what he does best, then his inclinations will develop positively.

Thus, we understand that B.M. Teplov was absolutely right in his statement. After analyzing the theoretical material and examples, we can conclude that the ability really cannot manifest itself just like that, on its own; in order for it to develop, it must be applied in the appropriate activity.

Attention! This is an introductory fragment of the book.

If you liked the beginning of the book, then the full version can be purchased from our partner - the distributor of legal content, LitRes LLC.

• How attentive
• Glory to me!
• Attention instead of love
• At any cost
• Not just attention
• Psychotype craving attention

“Attention-grabbing!” - we are talking about a child who tugs on his mother’s sleeve, and about a sharply dressed woman. However, the list of those hungry for attention can be continued - a scandalous politician, a talented speaker, a shocking pop artist. What makes us look at them, and them do what is guaranteed to arouse our interest?

How attentive

The word "attention" has several meanings - this and concentration on something, And observation, and care (participation). IN last value- This is one of the natural psychological needs characteristic of both children and adults. Our attention involuntarily focuses on what is important and significant: interesting, talented and beloved people or bright, emotionally captivating events. The opposite is also true: what attention is drawn to, as if by magic, becomes important and meaningful. In fact, an attempt to attract attention is an attempt to become worthwhile in general (on the scale of world culture or at least a separate subculture) or in the eyes of a specific person.

Glory to me!

We all need the attention of the main people in our lives like air: as a rule, family and friends. It is important that the feelings, experiences and events of our lives are important to loved ones and evoke a sincere response in them. But the amount and form of attention necessary for happiness varies greatly. One needs to be listened to carefully and understood true friend, others feel fulfilled only by speaking in front of an audience. An unambiguous answer to the question “Why is it that Sergei needs the attention of his loved ones, but Sasha craves the attention of the crowd, and even better, the world community?” does not exist. There can be a variety of explanations for this. And here we are free to interpret the motives and fantasize as much as we like. Maybe Sasha, who dreams of becoming famous, has had enough self confidence, and the modest Sergei is simply afraid of success. Or Alexander realizes his real desires, and Sergei makes do with surrogates. With the same success we can assume that Sergei enjoys the activity, and Sasha, because of some psychological problems needs constant raising self-esteem and receives it at the expense of public attention. Looking at similar examples, we can also talk about focusing on one's tasks, accepting one's own life, high and low standards, finding your place in life.

Alas, if we don't know specific people, their living conditions, their inner world, make a “diagnosis” regarding the reasons for the need for increased attention- a useless exercise.

Attention instead of love

Although it should be noted that the history of attention seeking hides a lack or absence parental love. Physical care is necessary for the survival of the body. Love and loving attention are for the survival of a healthy psyche.

If a child feels that he is not loved with unconditional love, just as he is, then he unconsciously “decides” to replace love with parental encouragement, pride, attention, if not to himself, then at least to his actions and achievements. When people love you (or at least notice you) for something, it’s better than when you don’t like them at all. Such children turn out to be “mother’s little helpers,” “ good boys", "our pride". Both in childhood and growing up, they try to be either infinitely comfortable in everyday life, or to amaze others with their talents. What's the result? The famous composer, conductor and musician Igor Stravinsky wrote: “My misfortune, I am firmly convinced, was that my father was completely alien to me internally, and my mother treated me without any love. When my older brother died unexpectedly, my mother did not transfer her attitude towards him to me, and my father continued to treat me rather reservedly. And then I decided that one day I will show them what I am worth. And well, that day has passed, and to this day no one except me remembers it.”

Unconditional love cannot be won or earned through achievements - otherwise it is no longer unconditional. If parents, for some reason, were unable to fully love their child, then they will not love him for some reason. Perhaps they will appreciate it, be proud of it, or consider it convenient. But this is not love at all! Growing up, a person with experience in “earning” parental love often becomes an excellent conversationalist and a popular person. This is a fairly common scenario in the lives of celebrities.

Unfortunately, by attracting attention not with your personality, but with your activities, you can win admiration, interest, a desire to be close, but all this again does not replace love. Therefore, even when such a person achieves success and basks in attention, he feels unhappy and empty. After all, what he really wanted was unconditional love, independent of his achievements, he did not receive.

But in vain do parents who dream of a daughter or son-genius rub their hands: “It turns out that it’s enough not to love a child to force him to develop his talents!” If a child, for some reason, does not have the strength to “win” the praise of his parents (for example, he is depressed, neurotic, or the parents’ demands are exorbitant or simply do not correspond to his inclinations at all) little man: they want to see him as a violinist, and he is a talented athlete), the baby unconsciously attracts negative attention. Such children “choose” permanent physical illness, they misbehave, they get into trouble. One of the reasons for this behavior is that parental anger is not as terrible for a child as indifference. Getting angry is better than being unnoticed.

“You can’t become famous for good deeds...”

...sang the old woman Shapoklyak. The popular (!) cartoon heroine has many like-minded people.

From ancient times to today destructive and self-destructive behavior is widely used as a means to be noticed or gain fame. Let us at least remember Herostratus. In 356, this young resident of Ephesus burned to the ground one of the seven wonders of the world - the Temple of Artemis. According to him in my own words, he did this for the sole purpose of ensuring that he is remembered for centuries. And I achieved it...

People wishing attract attention at any cost, they agree to do without applause and praise, content with curses. Many of them first tried to gain good fame and, only having suffered defeat, looked for other opportunities to remain in the centuries.

How can one not recall Adolf Hitler, who began his career as a politician only after becoming convinced that he would never become a great artist? Some vandals follow this path, as well as people who dream of “making a career” as “the most famous maniac,” “the killer with the most victims,” or “becoming the one who killed in the most brutal ways.” True, for most people who feel the need for attention and prefer “bad” attention, the scale is more modest: quarrels, illnesses, destructive behavior, attempts at demonstrative suicide. There are many reasons for this, and they are very different: depending on specific case, we can talk about psychological trauma (that is, about a healthy person who has problems), neurotic accentuation, borderline personality disorder or psychopathology.

At any cost

Shocking behavior - scandalous, shocking behavior - is perhaps the easiest way to attract attention. Publishing nude photos of yourself on a blog that is not oriented towards erotica or pornography, having piercings all over your face and a T-shirt with the words “I have sex in a hammock on skis with teddy bears” are typical examples of shocking behavior.

There are also more creative ones. For example, for the 200th anniversary of A. S. Pushkin, the magazine “Dantes” was published in St. Petersburg, the creators of which wanted to “challenge society - to debunk the idol and dispel the myth” using profanity and the assumption of the poet’s homosexuality. The artist Salvador Dali gave shocking titles to both his books (see the “modest” title “The Diary of a Genius”) and his paintings. On one canvas he wrote “Sometimes I spit with pleasure on the portrait of my mother.” The inscription was made not from the heart, but for the sake of a catchphrase, but it was costly: Dali’s father cursed his son and kicked him out of the house. Another outrageous artist, Phil Hansen, will either paint the Mona Lisa with hamburger fat, or a portrait of George Bush made up of the names of soldiers who died in Iraq.

Not just attention

Creative, public performance, beautiful and (or) original way of dressing, records - all these are ways to stand out. The cosmetics industry was created to attract attention, fashionable clothes, accessories. On the one hand, the presence of a mainstream in fashion averages out, on the other hand, it gives clear guidelines: dressed in the latest fashion means you are already interesting.

There is room for a number of misconceptions here. For example, many people believe that “artists are those who love popularity.” In fact, for many representatives of this profession who do not experience need for attention, popularity is a by-product and sometimes very unpleasant effect. Many actors simply love the process of getting used to the role. So, famous actress Keira Knightley would really like to work and act, avoiding the press attention that is painful for her. The rule here is simple: if a person does something that gives him pleasure, it makes him happy, even if he does not achieve great popularity. Statistics show that success is often achieved by those who do what they do for love, and not for fame. Of course, there are exceptions - masterpieces PR and self-promotion, but that's another story. Quite often a person, thinking that he is looking for attention, tries to satisfy his other needs. For example, some women hope that if they look so that everyone will pay attention to them, this will ensure their sexual success and happiness. personal life. But no. If a woman takes care of herself, loves herself and her appearance, she enjoys greater success than a woman who lacks self-confidence, even if she has transformed herself with the help of plastic surgery into the standard of beauty.

Psychotype craving attention

Be the center of attention People of a certain psychotype also strive - hysterics. Home them distinguishing feature- demonstrativeness. Hysteria is not a disease, rather an accentuation, so to speak, a distortion of personality, which, however, can lead to pathology - hysteria. Imaginative, illogical, prone to manipulative behavior, hysterics are artistic and easily get used not only to any role, but also to any story they themselves have invented. These are precisely the people who, when they lie, sincerely believe their lies. With a certain level of talent, they make wonderful artists and speakers, sometimes they become the adornment of fashion salons and bohemians. A hysteroid can show great courage if it is in the spotlight. It was about the hysterical Trotsky that one of his comrades said, “Lev Davidovich Trotsky is ready to die for the revolution, but only if no less than fifty thousand people see it.”

There are times in each of our lives when we need to attract attention.

Anyone and anywhere - at a meeting, seminar or at a party - is not important. Of course, it is necessary to take into account the circumstances of the place. But if we put all this aside, here is what is guaranteed to attract people's involuntary attention:

• unexpected or strong sound stimuli, for example, a loud remark in silence (wonderful if it is a joke or a classic quote - focus on the audience);
• something new: for this reason, a change in image often creates a sensation (remember the film “The Most Charming and Attractive”);
• contrast of colors: it is much easier to be noticeable by combining, for example, red with green or black with white.

If you find an error, please highlight a piece of text and click Ctrl+Enter.

In this statement, Parygin raises the problem of needs that are universal for every person, namely the need for attention, recognition and self-expression. This problem is especially relevant in modern society. The meaning of this statement is that every person, regardless of gender, nation and appearance needs attention, recognition and self-expression. I completely agree with the author of this statement. Indeed, in our time, every person simply needs to express his talent, abilities, everyone wants to be noticed, wants to stand out from the gray mass of people.

So, let's look at the problem from a theoretical point of view. First, let's figure out what a need is? A need is a person’s need, the desire to satisfy his whims and desires. There are biological needs (for food, water, air and rest), as well as social ones, which are mentioned in Parygin’s statement (for attention, recognition and self-expression, etc.). An individual is a single, specific representative of the human race. So why does he need attention and self-expression? The fact is that in modern democratic societies a lot of attention is paid to a person’s personal qualities, abilities and skills. Each individual has the opportunity to make his way in life with his talents and abilities. Therefore, it is so important that they pay attention to you, recognize you, and you, in turn, are able to express yourself. In addition to theoretical arguments, a number of specific, factual examples can be given. In history class we studied such an outstanding personality as M.V. Lomonosov. As we know, Lomonosov showed himself in several spheres of the cultural life of mankind. Mikhail Vasilyevich studied the history of the ancient Slavs, put forward the anti-Norman theory of state formation, improved the telescope, established that Venus has an atmosphere, revealed the mystery of thunderstorms and the northern lights, and wrote a number of beautiful poems. Since childhood, the boy had a thirst for knowledge. He wanted people to pay attention to his work and also recognize it. It is these needs that Parygin speaks about, arguing that they are characteristic of every individual. Addressing personal experience, I want to give the following example. Since childhood, my grandmother loved to compose poems and also write short humorous stories. All her life she dreamed that her literary works found recognition among people. She wanted society to pay attention to her work and her work not to be in vain. Quite recently, grandmother's stories were published in the newspaper. It seems to me that she was able to satisfy her need for self-expression. Thus, I can conclude that Parygin was right in asserting that the need for attention, recognition and self-expression is a universal need of every individual. These needs are common to everyone, so we need to strive to fulfill and realize them.

Effective preparation for the Unified State Exam (all subjects) -

Cynthia was 30 years old. This woman was referred to me by a friend of mine, a psychiatrist. Her need for attention was obvious even before she entered my office. I heard her talking and laughing in the waiting room, and her voice sounded about twice as loud as any acceptable level. Because of her habit of gesticulating wildly, she managed to knock over a lamp and spill her coffee in the short time it took her to introduce herself to my staff. When I went out to invite her into the office, I saw that her clothes were too tight, too Short dress with a deep neckline, tousled hair and bright makeup - everything was aimed at broadcasting the world the same message conveyed by a deafening voice and violent gestures: “Look at me!”

At first, the woman, apparently, was going to convince me that she was one of the happiest clients I had ever received in my office, and she did not come to me at all to get rid of some problems. She said she saw me on TV and wanted to meet me in person. As for this “need for attention” of hers, which the psychiatrist complains about, this is simply an absurd exaggeration on his part. After all, who doesn't like attention? And what’s wrong with it if the attention of others gives her pleasure? It is clear that many people do not like this, but it is clear to everyone: they are simply jealous of her.

Didn't have to have psychic abilities, only to realize after a few minutes of this rapid-fire monologue that she was protesting too persistently. Apparently, Cynthia was trying to convince not so much me as herself that she was a happy, carefree woman who liked her own way of life. Half an hour later, Cynthia was already bursting into tears and her voice sounded quiet, calm, almost timid. Finally, she let me in behind her decorated façade and showed me how much loneliness, sadness and helplessness was hidden in the recesses of her soul. Because of this need for attention—a quality she supposedly enjoyed—she was fired from her job more than once, accused of disruptive or “inappropriate” behavior. In addition, she was impulsively promiscuous in personal relationships and often seduced the young men of her friends - as a result, both her new lover and her old friend stopped communicating with her. As for her suitors, after using her body and money a little, they went to women who demanded respect for themselves, which Cynthia did not demand or could not demand, since she did not respect herself. She spent too much time in bars, which led to the risk of alcoholism - it was this problem that led her to a psychiatrist, since the woman believed that everything else in her life was completely normal. But after eight months of work, neither she nor her psychiatrist had achieved any significant success. Cynthia was born into a middle-class family, her parents surrounded her daughter with love and care from infancy, and no circumstances of her childhood gave the key to this uncontrollable, inexorably growing fear that she would not be noticed.

It was a pleasure to hypnotize Cynthia: she was open, responsive, and clearly articulated her thoughts. Because her problem was so specific and complex, I told her to go straight to the entry point. Cynthia was immediately brought to the point of her violent death during the French and Indian War. She was then a seventeen-year-old teenager. The next thing the woman saw was that she was alone among the rolling green hills stretching to the horizon, in front of a large stone house with a thatched roof. As with Alan above, I initially thought Cynthia was talking about the Other Side. But the further she spoke, the more convinced I became that after that particular death she did not end up Home.

Children played in the house and in the yard, looked after by women in long black robes. Cynthia looked at them through the window, and to do this she had to hover at some height above the floor. She desperately wanted to join the children and play with them, but knew that this was impossible. And Cynthia also understood that, although she saw and heard these people perfectly, they did not notice her, as if she did not exist. The saddest thing is that she has been there for a very long time; Obviously, the woman fell into some kind of trap. More than anything, she wanted to get out of there and put an end to this painful isolation at the window where she was, lost, alone, doomed to this silent, invisible existence. But no one noticed her, and no one cared about her.

As it turned out, she ended up near a Catholic orphanage in Ireland and was a ghost who was trapped between Earth and the Other Side, not belonging to either. It was this terrible hopeless existence between lives that caused the cellular memories that gave Cynthia a frantic need for attention. I have had thousands of clients, but the ones who have regressed into a nightmarish existence as ghosts can be counted on one hand. In this state, they can only wait helplessly for some savior (earthly or from the Other Side) to come and free them. And in today’s life, such clients, each in their own way, suffer from a feeling of restlessness and try with all their might to be noticed, accepted and embraced - after all, this is exactly what Cynthia ultimately wanted.

As I have noted in this book, our conscious mind is easy to deceive, but the superconscious mind and cellular memory resonate and respond only to truth. Cynthia did not doubt for a second that the pseudo-life in earthly captivity to which she returned during the regression was not just a play of the imagination. She remembered something as real as the fact that she got dressed and drove to my office that morning. And the woman felt a weakening of the pain that these cellular memories caused her as clearly as if the pain that was tormenting her had finally stopped. for a long time fever.

Eight months later, I received a wonderful eight-page letter from her. Thanks to the twelve-step program and a sincere desire to do something worthwhile in life, she stopped drinking. In addition, she no longer has time to go to bars in the evenings: she decided to become a teacher and went to college. “Obviously, I still need children's attention,” she wrote, “but now I prefer to get it by helping children gain knowledge. And I also want to serve them as a clear example of a person who has made all imaginable and unimaginable mistakes in life and still managed to get on the right path.” Cynthia stopped having intimate relationships with men for a while until she was sure that she was “healthy enough to build healthy relationships.” She wrote that she was trying to restore friendship with those she had once betrayed.

And in the envelope there was a photograph of a pretty young woman with blooming face, whose natural, non-flashy beauty undoubtedly attracted enough attention from others, thanks to the mental balance and calm self-confidence that she radiated. I would have thought that I was seeing the younger sister of that unbridled woman who was in my office, but under the photograph there was a caption: “With love and gratitude, Cynthia freed from earthly captivity.”