What to order for 9 days for the deceased. Memorial Day Traditions

Every person who has experienced loss close relative or a friend, tries to arrange a funeral according to all the rules and canons of the Orthodox Church.

It is generally accepted that for up to a year the soul of the deceased explores heaven and hell, and during this time a place is selected for it according to the life lived and according to how the living mourn and remember it. Therefore, the 9-day commemoration, the rules of which every Orthodox Christian should know, has special significance.

The meaning of the date in Orthodoxy

In Orthodoxy, it is customary to celebrate the third, ninth, fortieth days and anniversary after the death of a person. But some peoples hold funeral dinners for six months. Each of these days has its own special, sacred meaning, which every Orthodox person should know.

On the ninth day after death, the soul just ends its earthly journey. She's looking for a way in new life. And if the third day is considered to be the beginning of the afterlife, and the fortieth day its end, then the ninth is the most important time in the posthumous journey of the soul.

The number 9 is considered sacred in Orthodoxy. This is exactly the number of angelic ranks that exist in the hierarchy. Therefore, memorial prayers on this day are read not only for the soul of the deceased, but also so that these angels protect it at God's judgment.

Until the third day after death, the soul of the deceased is accompanied by his guardian angel b. After this, he goes to explore the heavens. Even without knowing where it will go, a person’s soul can explore Heaven and Hell and find out what awaits him next.

On the 9th day after death, the Lord orders the angels to bring the soul of the deceased to themselves. It is on this day that she will appear before the face of the Lord and learn that she will have to go to explore Hell. And by the fortieth day the Heavenly Court will await her.

It is on this day that the soul of the deceased must undergo tests together with a guardian angel. If she manages to emerge from them clean and blameless, then the scales of justice will tip towards good.

Importance to the deceased

For the soul of the deceased, the ninth day after death is extremely important. After all, at this time he is preparing to find his permanent refuge. Therefore, it is extremely important for relatives to try to let go of the soul of the deceased and remember him with prayers, and not with tears and lamentations. Of course, it is impossible to completely forget the deceased and the pain that followed his passing. But you should try to calm your soul and let go of your loved one.

Prayers for the repose of the soul are also read because on this day it appears before the Lord for the first time. And the commemoration helps the soul cope with the fear of the Almighty and move on without regret or fear.

On this day, it is customary to pray that the soul of the deceased be numbered among the angels. So, a deceased relative can become the guardian angel of a person who prays for him. It was not for nothing that the pagans also believed that the spirits of the departed are always nearby and help the living.

Memorial Day Traditions

According to the traditions of Orthodoxy, it is necessary to prepare a funeral dinner, which is taken to the cemetery. Also, close relatives go to church and light candles for the repose of the soul of the deceased and order a memorial and prayer reading. Traditional dishes are:

• Kutya;
• jelly;
• pancakes and pies.

Kutya is prepared from wheat with sugar or honey. But modern people More often it is made from rice. Each grain represents the birth of new life. It represents a renaissance human soul in the afterlife or after incarnation. Sugar, honey or jam, which are added to kutya, are a symbol of the sweetness of the afterlife. The prepared dish must be sprinkled with holy water or consecrated in church.

Compote and jelly should also be on the funeral table. Pancakes are often brought to the cemetery to commemorate the deceased. It is also recommended to place fish dishes on the table at which the relatives and friends of the deceased will sit.

Knowing how the deceased is remembered for 9 days, setting the table will not be difficult. Very often, ordinary borscht is served as the first course. It is the most popular dish.

A church minister can tell you how they are commemorated on the 9th day after death. But we should remember that this day is uninvited. That is, guests are not invited to the wake of the soul. Anyone who knew the deceased or attended the funeral is welcome to come.

The main prayer for 9 days after death, which is read first at the table, is “Our Father.” You can read it out loud or silently, thinking about the deceased person. Only after this is it allowed to serve the first funeral dish - kutya. It is strictly prohibited to place alcohol on the table. Drinking alcohol is a sin that will not bring peace to the deceased. Therefore, it is prohibited to take them to the cemetery or drink them at the table during the funeral service.

You shouldn't cook too many dishes. After all, gluttony is also a great sin. What is important here is not the eating of food, but the fact that close people have gathered at one table to commemorate the soul of the deceased. And if there are food or dishes left after the feast, you should not throw them away. We need to distribute food to the poor or simply needy people.

It is strictly forbidden to have fun, laugh or sing songs at the table. Also, one should not remember the deceased with bad words and remember all his misdeeds in life. You need to do the following:

• remember all the best about him;
• say only nice things about the deceased.

After all, until the fortieth day, a decision will be made about where the soul of the deceased will go, and what the living remember about him will be taken into account.

At the funeral table, women are supposed to have their heads covered and their hair tied up. Today, only close relatives wear headscarves. And men need to take off their hats when entering the house.

Rules for relatives

Knowing what the relatives of the deceased do for 9 days after death, you can avoid many mistakes. So, it is imperative that relatives go to church and not only light candles for the repose, but also order a prayer service. You should also pray in front of the icon for the mercy of God and the help of Heavenly Protectors. You are also allowed to pray near home icons, but a prayer service must be ordered.

At lunchtime you should visit the grave of the deceased. You need to clean it up, remove the trash and bring flowers and wreaths. You must light a candle in a lamp near a cross or monument. You should not talk about extraneous topics near the grave; it is better to talk about the deceased or read a prayer.

Funerals should not be held in a cemetery.. Under no circumstances should you drink alcoholic beverages, much less place vodka in a glass near the grave. This will not bring anything good to the soul of the deceased. It is allowed to leave a lunch of sweets, pancakes and kutya. In most cases, those foods and dishes that are placed on the table during the funeral are brought to the grave.

It is imperative to give alms to the poor and needy so that they can remember the deceased. For this, either food left over from the funeral or money is used..

In the house where the funeral is being held, you should light a lamp or candle near the photograph of the deceased. Mirror curtains may be removed immediately after the funeral. They remain only in the room of the deceased.

According to the traditions of Christianity, the main wake for the deceased is held on the day of the funeral, on 9 days and on 40 days. Most often, commemorations come down to a memorial meal, but one should not think that people gather simply to eat; this event aims to pay tribute to the memory of the deceased and pray for the repose of his soul.

1
Christian customs mean that during the funeral meal, those gathered pray for the repose of the soul of the deceased. Absolutely everything matters during a wake, including the menu. The approximate plan for the funeral is as follows.

Before sitting down at the table, read the Lord's Prayer. Throughout the wake, remember the deceased, but memories of some bad deeds of the deceased are not acceptable. Laughter, funny songs or foul language are not allowed at the table.
2
Serve kutia (rice or wheat porridge with honey and raisins) as the first dish. It is best to illuminate it during a funeral service or at least sprinkle it with holy water. This dish is a symbol of eternal life, since a person, like a grain, will sprout (reborn) in Christ.
There is no need to rely on the rule: what more food on the table - so much the better, this is not true. Quite the contrary, food should be simple and modest. The important thing is that people gather together to remember the deceased; food is just a symbol.
3
Please note that if the day of the funeral falls on a weekday during Lent, reschedule the event for the weekend. Also remember that men at the wake should have their heads uncovered, while women, on the contrary, should have their hair tied up and wearing scarves.
4
If on the day of the funeral everyone who was at the cemetery is invited to the funeral, then for 9 days only relatives and closest friends of the deceased are invited to the funeral.
Remember that you cannot drink alcohol during meals; it is not recommended to even put wine on the table. Also, do not put on the table a photograph of the deceased with a glass of vodka covered with black bread, all these customs are simply relics of the past and Orthodox faith are not supported.
5
Do not limit yourself to the phrase: “The kingdom of heaven to the departed.” Pray for the deceased, begin each dish with a short prayer.
6
Also, on memorial days, it is very good to give to the poor, so that people who need food and are closer to God pray for the repose of the soul of the deceased.
7
In addition to the meal, they order a prayer service for the repose of the deceased; to do this, simply submit a note with the name of the deceased (in genitive case) to the church kiosk.

You can remember not only on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day, there is a custom to remember the deceased on the anniversary of death, on his birthday and on Angel's Day; on these days people also go to the cemetery and go to church.

Find out everything about 9 days after death - what this period means, what the customs are regarding it and what the relatives of the deceased need to do. Based on beliefs and religious scriptures, failure to adhere to traditions may deprive the deceased heavenly life after death, and to inflict a grave sin on his relatives.

In the article:

9 days after death - what does this date mean in Orthodoxy

It is known that in Orthodoxy it is customary to celebrate the third, ninth and fortieth day after the death of a person. The anniversary is also celebrated, and in some regions even six months after death. This special days afterlife of a person, and each of them has its own sacred meaning. Relatives should know and observe the traditions and customs that are associated with them.

The ordeal of the soul of Blessed Fedora, a fragment of a painting in the Kiev Pechersk Lavra

In these nine days, the soul still completes its journey begun during life. She is looking for a way to new world. If the third day is considered the beginning of the afterlife, and the fortieth is its end, then the ninth is one of the most important stages of the posthumous journey.

Number 9 is one of sacred numbers. It is known that there are nine ranks of angels in the angelic hierarchy. The ninth day after death is celebrated not only in honor of the deceased, but also in their honor - after all, it is the angels who will be the defenders at the Heavenly Court. They act as lawyers, asking God for mercy for each person.

After death and until the third day, the soul of the deceased is not far from the living. She is accompanied by a guardian angel. On the fourth, he escorts the deceased through the gates of heaven. Until the ninth day he is busy exploring Paradise. Without yet knowing its verdict, which God will pronounce on the fortieth day, the soul can find out what awaits it in Heaven or Hell. In Paradise, a person will find rest from the pain that he tasted for earthly life, as well as pangs of conscience for the sins committed.

On the ninth day, the Lord commands the angels to bring the deceased to his throne. This is the day on which a person first appears before the Almighty with fear and trembling. After talking with God, he will go to Hell - until the fortieth day. Only after this journey through the afterlife does the Heavenly Judgment await the soul.

In addition, from the ninth to the fortieth day, the so-called ordeals of the soul occur. Together with her guardian angel, she must go through trials that may represent sinful temptations. If the soul will be tested, the good half of his soul will overcome the evil one, and all lifetime sins will be forgiven to her at the Heavenly Court.

Nine days after death - meaning for the deceased

Souls contain everything that is in heaven, and much more (Balmont K.D.)

The meaning of 9 days after death is very important for the soul of the deceased. At this time, he is busy searching for the path he has to follow. It's hard to say what it will be like. Some believe in the rebirth of the soul after death. Judging by the literature on reincarnation, from the third day to the fortieth day, she is busy reviewing and analyzing her life mistakes. In addition, there is a theory that the soul itself makes a decision about what its next incarnation will be.

If you follow Christian sources, the righteous are destined for Paradise, and sinners are destined for torment in Hell. But, one way or another, the soul of the deceased on the ninth day is still busy searching for the continuation of its path. At this time, the relatives of the deceased should try to release him. Of course, it is impossible to completely forget about pain and suffering - any loss is saturated with these feelings. But calming the souls of the living will benefit the deceased; try to benefit him with prayers, not tears. He will be able to find peace, stop worrying about the living and go to where he now belongs.

IN Orthodox tradition It is generally accepted that from the fourth to the ninth days the soul is shown Heaven, and then, from the ninth to the fortieth days - Hell. On the ninth day, the deceased completely forgets about all the sorrow that he felt during earthly life. He also forgets about bodily pain. Sinful souls at this time begin to experience true repentance. That is why the prayers of family and friends are important on this day - the deceased will need the support of relatives.

In addition, they will also come in handy because at this time he appears before God for the first time. That is why it is customary to order prayer services, arrange funeral services, read prayers, and also help the deceased pass afterlife tests in other ways. During church services, it is also customary to pray for the soul to join the number of angels. This way your relative can become your guardian angel. Pagans believe that deceased ancestors are always nearby and ready to help.

Tradition of commemoration on the 9th day after death

An obligatory component of any wake is kutia, a traditional ritual dish, which even some holidays cannot do without. For a funeral meal, it is supposed to be prepared from wheat and sugar or honey. Sometimes kutya is cooked from rice. This is not just a sweet dish for a feast. It has a sacred meaning.

Seeds mean the birth of new life. They symbolize the resurrection of a person in the afterlife, and possibly in the next incarnation. Sugar, honey or jam symbolize the sweetness of life after death. It is advisable to consecrate the finished dish in the church, but this is not always possible. Therefore, it is considered sufficient to sprinkle it with holy water.

Compote or jelly must be on the funeral table; sometimes kvass is served. They also serve any porridge except kutya. Sometimes pancakes are prepared for funerals; more often you can see pies with sweet filling. Fish dishes are not prohibited - sandwiches with sprats, fish pies, herring and other cold snacks. Roast and noodles with poultry, cutlets are also often found on funeral tables. Borscht is usually served as a first course.

The wake on the 9th day after death is uninvited. It is not customary to invite guests to them; they come on their own, uninvited. Any person who wishes to remember the deceased can appear. According to tradition, the closest relatives must be present, as well as the people who washed the deceased, made the coffin and dug the grave. In the old days, this was done by neighbors, family friends and co-workers. Now people from funeral bureaus are doing this, so the tradition has lost its meaning. It is much better to entrust this matter to specialists than to make a mistake at a funeral. If you believe the signs, some of them can cost your life.

The feast on a sad occasion begins with the reading of the “Our Father” prayer. You can read aloud, repeating after the closest relatives of the deceased, or you can pray in a whisper or to yourself. Only after prayer can the first course be served. It should be kutya.

There are few rules regarding the dishes and drinks that should be served on the table, and they are very easy to remember. Alcohol is prohibited. Vodka is served at most wakes, but this is not allowed. Drunkenness is a sin. At a wake, indulging in this sin can seriously harm the soul of the deceased. That is why signs about cemeteries do not advise bringing alcohol to graves.

You should not overdo it with dishes. Among the things that 9 days after the death of a person mean is preparation for the Heavenly Court and, accordingly, the consideration of all his sins. Gluttony is one of the sins. Therefore, you should not sin in honor of the deceased, this will negatively affect his posthumous existence. The table should be modest, without frills. The fact of eating does not matter. The only important thing is that people gathered to remember the deceased and support his relatives.

Despite the desire to rid the funeral table of luxury, it is extremely difficult to calculate the amount of food so that nothing is left. In addition, for 9 days the number of guests cannot be predicted - they come uninvited, at will. If there is food or groceries left after the funeral feast, they should be distributed to the poor. In any case, you cannot throw them away.

As at the very first wake, it is forbidden to laugh or have fun at the table, much less organize choral singing. You cannot remember bad deeds, negative addictions and habits, as well as character traits of the deceased. Until the fortieth day, a decision will be made about where his soul will be - in Heaven or Hell. Negative memories expressed out loud will tip the scales towards a terrible verdict.

It has great importance the appearance of people who are going to honor the memory of the deceased. Women are supposed to cover their heads with scarves, collecting their hair underneath. Men are not allowed to wear hats in the memorial room; they must be removed upon entry. Nowadays, only close relatives cover their heads during funerals; as a rule, these are black mourning scarves.

What do the relatives of the deceased do for 9 days after death?

What they do for 9 days after death is the work of relatives, which will benefit the deceased in the afterlife. Whether he ends up in Heaven or Hell depends not only on his actions. Relatives and close friends also play a role. What does the ninth day after death mean? In fact, on this day people and angels unite in order to help the deceased get to Heaven. Therefore, you cannot treat memorial days as a formality. This is the time when the living are able to help the soul that is in the afterlife.

For a believer, going to church on the 9th day after death loved one required. There you need not only to order a prayer service and light a candle for the repose. You should pray near the icons for the mercy of God and the help of angels at the Heavenly Court. You can pray at home, but in most cases a service for the repose is ordered - which in any case is associated with going to church.

Prayers for the repose of the soul and for God to be merciful to it and allow it to be in Paradise can be read not only by relatives. How more people prays for the soul of the deceased, thereby more likely positive verdict at the Heavenly Court. You can turn to God, and to angels, and to Saints.

In addition, closer to noon you should visit the grave of the deceased. Put things in order, remove the trash, bring flowers and wreaths. Light a candle in the lamp. You can invite a priest to perform a litia - a special service that is held over the grave. If this is not possible, read the prayer yourself. Refrain from talking about unrelated topics. When visiting a grave, it is better to remember the deceased - out loud or mentally.

It is forbidden to hold a funeral in a cemetery - it is prohibited ancient signs about funerals and cemeteries. Priests do not recommend doing this either. They attract special attention to drinking alcoholic drinks. Do not harm the soul of the deceased, wait for the wake. You cannot leave alcohol in a glass near the grave, much less pour it on the mound. You can leave a “lunch”, which may include sweets and other treats. Most often, what is left is what is served at the wake on the same day. Sweets and baked goods are also distributed to strangers at the cemetery so that they remember the deceased.

Both at wakes and in conversations, one is supposed to remember only the good deeds of the deceased. Now God is especially attentive to all his bad deeds, and he must hear that the living have an extremely positive opinion of this person. A bad word spoken at the wrong time or negative memory could ruin everything.

It is advisable to give alms to the poor on this day. It could be money or food - it's up to you. As mentioned above, you can donate food that is left after the funeral.

In the house, as in the cemetery, you can put a lamp in honor of the deceased, as well as a glass of water and bread. Usually these signs of attention are located near his portrait, decorated with a black mourning ribbon. On the ninth day, you can remove the curtains from the mirrors in all rooms except the bedroom of the deceased.

How are 9 days counted after death?

Calculating nine days after death is very simple. The first day is the day of death. Even if a person died late in the evening or at night, provided that the death occurred before midnight. This same day will subsequently become the anniversary of death.

By medical statistics, most deaths occur between 3 and 4 am. This time is called the time “between the wolf and the fox.” You should know that when calculating days, you should take into account the same date that can be seen on the calendar at this time - as in all other date calculations, the new day in the case of death begins after midnight.

However, the mathematical addition of the number 9 to the date of death is incorrect. Let's assume that a person died on January 18, and add 9 to this date:

But in fact, nine days for this deceased come not on January 27, but on January 26. This date does not depend on the date of the funeral. According to tradition, they are buried three days after death. But it also happens that the funeral takes place on the fifth or even sixth day after death. The onset of the ninth or fortieth day does not depend on this; it is counted only by the day of death.

How are 9 days after death counted if a person died during Lent? Such calculations are needed only by believers who fast. At this time, if nineteen falls on a weekday, it must be moved to the next weekend.

In general, every person should know funeral and memorial traditions. This knowledge cannot be called desirable, and hardly anyone will want to learn this without special need. But, as sad as it is to realize, every person will sooner or later have to bury their relatives and friends. This means that you will have to deal with funerals and wakes. Knowing what relatives should do on nine days and what the wake should be like, you will help the soul of the deceased in the next world. Remember that it is not easy for him there either - it is at this time that the ordeals of the soul begin. His future in the afterlife depends on how he proves himself during these trials.

For Orthodox Christians, commemoration of the dead occurs on the ninth and fortieth days after death. Why?

The clergy answer this question in detail. According to church canons, the time from the moment of repose directly to the ninth is called the design of the “body of eternity.” During this period, the deceased is taken to “special places” in heaven. And in the world of the living, relatives and clergy conduct various funeral ceremonies.

What happens in the first 9 days after death?

In these very first 9 days after death the deceased can observe the people around them, see and hear them. Thus, the soul forever says goodbye to life in this world, to life on earth, gradually losing these opportunities and thereby moving away from the world of the living. Therefore, it is no coincidence that memorial services are ordered on the 3rd, 9th and 40th days. These days represent special milestones that every soul passes when leaving our world.

After the nine-day mark, the soul goes to hell in order to see the torment of unrepentant sinners. As a rule, the soul does not yet know what kind of fate is in store for it, and the terrible torment that will appear before its eyes will have to shake it and make it fear its fate. But not every soul is given such a chance. Some go straight to hell without worshiping God, which occurs on the third day. These souls delayed the ordeal.

Ordeals are posts where souls are detained by demons, or they are also called the princes of ordeals. There are twenty such posts. Demons gather at each one and expose to the soul all the sins it has committed. At the same time, the soul does not remain completely defenseless.

Guardian angels are always nearby in these difficult moments.
The Guardian Angel represents to the demons the good deeds of the soul that are opposite to sins. For example, generous assistance can be pitted against accusations of greed. Blessed Theodora, whose authority deserves attention, testifies that most often people get stuck in ordeals because of adultery. Because this topic is so personal and shameful, people are often sensitive about having to talk about it in confession.

And this sin remains hidden, thereby erasing the entire confession. Therefore, demons win the war for their lives. No matter what actions you commit, no matter how ashamed you are of them (this also applies intimate life) it is necessary to confess to the priest in full, otherwise the entire confession will not be counted.

If the soul does not go through all the ordeals, demons take it straight to hell. There she remains until the Last Judgment. Relatives and friends of the deceased can soften the fate of his soul with prayers, so it is better to order a commemoration in the church.

Then she is shown all the beauties of paradise, in comparison with which earthly joys simply fade. The happiness that becomes accessible to people in heaven, incomparable to anything. That's what the saints say.

Clean and beautiful nature, what it was like before the fall of man, the fulfillment of all desires, righteous people who are all together, everything you can dream of is paradise. In hell there is none of this and all people are alone.

On the ninth day, the soul is brought down to hell as a spectator.

Having been in paradise and seen the righteous there, a person realizes that he deserves hell more than heaven because of his sins, so the soul awaits with great trepidation the period of 9 days after death. Prayer is very important here, with which loved ones help the soul. It is important to acquire a close connection with the soul of the deceased so that the verdict is rendered in favor of the Holy Place. You should order a service in the church so that your loved one has support from you.

Also at this time, you can think about how to arrange the burial site, for example.

9 days after death - commemoration of loved ones

The first 9 days after death are very difficult for the soul of the deceased person, so help your loved ones, order a memorial in the church, and you will feel better and calmer for your loved one and the soul of the deceased will be calm and peaceful. Not only church prayer is important, but also your personal one. Ask your father for help. He will help you master special rules in reading the psalter.

The custom of remembering loved ones at meals has been known since ancient times. Often, a wake is an occasion for relatives to get together, eat deliciously, and discuss business. In fact, people gather at the funeral table for a reason. Orthodox Christians should pray for those loved ones who have left earthly world. Before starting your meal, you must mandatory lithium This is a small rite of requiem, it can be performed by a layman. You can read Psalm 90 and Our Father.

Kutia is the first dish, which is actually eaten at the funeral. It is usually prepared from boiled wheat or rice grains with honey and raisins. The grain is a symbol of resurrection, and honey is the sweetness that the righteous enjoy in paradise. Kutya should be consecrated during the funeral service with a special rite; if this is not possible, it should be sprinkled with holy water.

The desire of the owners to provide everyone who came to the funeral with a tasty treat is understandable, but it does not exempt them from observing the fasts established by the Church. On Wednesday, Friday and, accordingly, during long fasts, eat only permitted food. If during Lent a funeral service falls on a weekday, it should be moved to Saturday or Sunday.

The pagan custom of drinking at graves has nothing to do with Orthodox customs. Every Christian knows that what brings joy to our deceased loved ones is prayer for them and the piety we bring, and not the amount of alcohol we drink.
At home, during the funeral meal, after the funeral service, a small glass of wine is allowed, which will be accompanied kind words to the deceased. Do not forget that this is a completely optional thing at a wake. But other alcohol should be avoided altogether, as it will distract from the wake itself.

In Orthodoxy, the first to be seated at the funeral table are the poor and the poor, old women and children. You can also distribute the deceased’s belongings and clothes. You can hear many stories about cases when the charity of relatives helped the deceased, and received confirmation of this from the afterlife. Therefore, you can help the deceased by giving your savings to alms in order to benefit the soul in the afterlife.

The loss of a loved one can change your worldview and help you gain the desire to become real Orthodox Christian, take your very first step on the path to God. Start now to cleanse your soul, to confess, so that in the afterlife good deeds will prevail over sins.

What should the relatives of the deceased do on the ninth day? How to calculate it? We will tell you about the rules and meaning of the funeral dinner, prayer and visiting the cemetery on this day.

Why are 9 days after a person's death so important? Why is it necessary to organize a wake and order a service in the church? We will tell you what needs to be taken into account when organizing a memorial dinner and how, according to all church canons, to spend the ninth day after the death of a loved one.

Remember that this particular day is “uninvited”, so it is not customary to invite guests to it. Relatives and friends of the deceased come at their own request to the memorial meal, those who with all their hearts want to once again remember the person and honor his blessed memory.

The funeral begins with the prayer "Our Father", after which the first dish - kutia - is served. It is usually made from wheat or rice with the addition of honey and raisins. It is advisable that the kutia be consecrated in the church, however, if this is not possible, it is enough to simply sprinkle it with holy water. This dish is very symbolic, it means eternal life: just as grain sprouts in the ground, so a person is reborn in Christ.

Despite the fact that 9 days have already passed since the date of death, alcohol, fun, laughter, foul language and funny songs are still unacceptable at the table. It is also impossible to remember not the most best sides the deceased, his bad deeds and vices. The phrase “The kingdom of heaven to the deceased” is more of a formality. Therefore, so that your requests for better fate the souls of the deceased were actually heard, try to pray fully.

Don’t make it a rule: more food is better than a wake. It’s good if the meal for 9 days after death is modest, without any frills. After all, what is important is not the fact of eating, but the fact that people came for whom the deceased mattered more; what is important is that now they are together, supporting each other and are ready to help the grieving.

If the wake came to Lent on a weekday, you must wait until the weekend. Appearance those present also plays some role. So, women should have their heads covered, their hair gathered under scarves. Men, on the other hand, must remove their hats.

During the wake, we must not forget about those in need. Especially if you have leftover food. It's good to go out into the street and give it to the poor. In addition, you need to order a prayer service for the deceased. This can be done at the church kiosk by simply submitting a note with the name of the deceased. Also, if possible, you should go to the grave of a loved one. When visiting a cemetery, clean the grave and light a candle. If there is an opportunity to invite a priest to perform a litia, do so; if this is not possible, read the prayer yourself. Try to refrain from talking; it is much better if you simply remember the deceased in your thoughts. Under no circumstances should you hold a funeral ceremony at the burial site itself. You cannot eat or drink anything in the cemetery. It is considered blasphemy to leave a glass of vodka with bread “for the deceased,” and even more so to pour it on a grave mound.

Remember that it is necessary to organize a wake immediately after the funeral, for 9 days, 40 days and after a year after death. You can also organize memorial dinners on the birthday of the deceased and on the day of his Angel.

Many people wonder how to count day 9? Here you need to be very careful, because according to Orthodox canons, the count begins from the day of a person’s death, even if he died at the end of the day, but no later than midnight. For example, a person passed away on May 12. According to mathematical calculations (12+9), it is necessary to celebrate the funeral on May 21, but in reality this should be done on the 20th. In people’s lives, there are also situations when they managed to bury a person not on the third day, but on the fifth or sixth. When should the funeral be celebrated in this case? 9 days and 40 days are counted from the date of death, but the first memorial meal is organized on the day of the funeral.

Don't treat the ninth day as a formality to be observed. Remember that these days it depends on you whether you will harm the soul of the deceased or help it.

You will find a canteen, cafe or restaurant for organizing a funeral table in the section Holding funerals of our portal