Hurry to your bed! How to wean your child from co-sleeping.

One of the most controversial issues in raising children under three years of age is practice co-sleeping. No matter how good the crib is, most babies prefer to sleep with their mother. For the mother herself, this also becomes a salvation, especially when she is breastfeeding. She no longer has to get up several times during the night, which makes it possible to get much better sleep. The baby also feels much calmer when his mother is nearby: he is comfortable and safe. Therefore, sleeping together has its advantages:

1. Night feedings are considered one of the most important for successful and long-term breastfeeding, as they stimulate the production of the hormone prolactin, which is responsible for milk production.
2. An opportunity for the mother to relax without worrying about the child and without getting up to see him several times a night. There is no need to rock the baby to sleep; after eating, he falls asleep on his own.
3. For a baby, the mother is the whole world, and at night he needs her warmth and care just as much as during the day. The baby, being next to his mother, behaves much calmer and sleeps better.
4. There are studies that suggest that co-sleeping can help reduce the risk of sudden infant death.

However, there is one a big problem for those who practice co-sleeping, this is the child’s reluctance to fall asleep on his own in his crib. How older child, the situation worsens and conflicts on this issue arise more often. Moreover, everything can be individual. Some children learned to fall asleep on their own without problems, while others could not wean themselves from co-sleeping until elementary school.

The child’s reluctance to fall asleep without his mother leads to strained relations between husband and wife, which ultimately affects the child himself. In general, such a situation, when sleeping with mom becomes just a habit and not a necessity, does not bring any benefit to the whole family.

How to teach your child to fall asleep on his own

First of all, be patient and love. Especially if you have a stubborn baby. He has, of course, grown up a little, but your presence is still very important to him. However, by the age of two he can be taught to fall asleep independently in his crib. What can help parents along this path:

1. Mom herself must want this, otherwise nothing will work out. Many mothers admit that sleeping with their baby has become a habit and a need for them. In this case, you need to work on yourself, realize all the disadvantages of sleeping together and give your child a chance to become more independent.
2. If you are planning to buy a new crib for your baby, then involve him in the choice. Choose two or three options that suit you and let the child decide for himself which one he likes best. At the same time, tell him that he has already grown up and can choose a new place to sleep for himself.
3. Pay attention to arranging a sleeping area for your child. Make it cozy and comfortable so that the child sees that he is not just being resettled in another room away from his mother, but, on the contrary, in his own little world, a corner where everything is done for him.
4. All preparations for a separate sleep must be accompanied by words and explanations. Under no circumstances should you present this as a punishment or heavy duty.
5. Create a special bedtime ritual: bath, book, lullaby. At this moment, you completely devote your time to the child, but it is important to respect time boundaries, otherwise the child may constantly delay the moment of falling asleep so that the parent can stay with him more. If a child and his mother fall asleep for a long time and have a hard time, you can ask one of your relatives to help put him to sleep. It is important to let your baby know that he will be able to fall asleep on his own.
6. Wean off your presence gradually. First, lie down next to him until he falls asleep, then put a chair next to the crib and hold the child’s hand, then just sit next to him. You can leave the night light on for a while and open the door to the room.
7. Don't deviate from your plan. If you have already made a decision and started to practice falling asleep on your own, but the baby is capricious and refuses, and you cancel everything until better times, then you may never see them. The child quickly understands that such tactics work and will continue to insist on his own. Here only parental patience and understanding that it’s not easy for the baby can help out either. Approach this issue individually, trying different approaches to your child. Even if in small steps, with small successes, you can achieve your goal.

A small baby bundle that smells like milk cuddles up to you and snorts next to you - what could be better? But is it so harmless for mother and baby to sleep together? What should young mothers do in order to have a good rest at night, without being afraid to move due to the close presence of the baby? This article provides tips on how to wean a child from sleeping with his mother, you will also find out what pediatricians and psychologists think about this, and young mothers will share their experience in solving similar problems.

If your beloved child falls asleep only when feeling the close proximity of one of the parents, then this is not something out of the ordinary. This state of affairs is easy to explain, since the baby was inseparable from his mother for nine months, he lived in the womb in unison with the beat of the mother’s heart, he was comfortable and warm.

Having been born, he is still connected with his mother, because she is the source of his food and main man, taking care of him, is calm and serene with her.

Donald Woods Winnicott in his work “Little Children and Their Mothers” writes: “ Mental health the individual is laid from the very first days by his mother, who provides what I call “promoting, helping environment"(facilitating environment), in which the process of natural development of the child occurs in accordance with hereditary patterns. The mother - without thinking or knowing - lays the foundations of a mentally healthy personality." And the baby’s sleep next to the person who brought him into the world is one of the steps towards this health.

If a child grows up in a family where they were not taught to sleep with their mother from birth, then most likely they will not encounter such a problem. This decision must be made directly by the parents, after weighing all the positive and negative sides.

If the mother is patient during the period when the baby wakes up at night to eat, then she will not encounter the problem of co-sleeping. Naturally, for a young woman who has just given birth to a baby, it is very difficult to get up several times a night to feed the baby. That's why mothers choose more easy way- sleep with the child.

Pros and cons of co-sleeping

In order to decide whether it is necessary to wean a child from co-sleeping with his parents, first of all, it is worth knowing the positive and negative aspects of this process.

Benefits of co-sleeping

• The baby is warm and comfortable, the emotional connection that began in the prenatal period continues;
• It is easier for mother to cope with night feedings, the baby is always under control;
• From the maternal warmth of her presence, a child up to three months of age calms down faster and suffers less intestinal colic;
• Regular emptying of the breast improves lactation;
• Both baby and mother get better sleep.

Risks of sleeping with parents

Risk to the child's life

The first and very serious reason for putting the baby in a separate crib is to eliminate the risk of crushing the baby in his sleep. Such cases have been known since ancient times and are still common today. If a woman falls asleep while breastfeeding, her breasts may accidentally block the baby's breathing. It happens that in a dream a woman simply turns over inaccurately, and it ends tragic consequences. Such risks should be taken into account by young mothers and those who are forced to take sedatives or sleeping pills at night.

Risks of infections and viruses

Sleeping a baby with mom and dad is unhygienic and harmful to the baby’s health: the child automatically receives all the baggage of viruses and infections from the parents.

Lack of a fulfilling sex life for parents

Among the disadvantages, we must remember the dad, who is relegated to the background. A sleeping child between parents can lead to a lack of fulfilling sex life, which can lead to disagreements and problems in the relationship between spouses.

Famous children's pediatrician, doctor medical sciences, Evgeniy Olegovich Komarovsky says: “We cannot make a child happy at the cost of his dad’s unhappiness.” This doctor advises mothers who have decided to sleep with their children to listen to the dad's opinion and involve him in raising the child.

How to make co-sleeping safe

If, nevertheless, by mutual decision of the parents, the child sleeps with them, you need to adhere to some advice from doctors.

Children and alcohol do not mix

After reception alcoholic drinks Under no circumstances should you take your child into your bed.

You can't put a child between parents

The sleeping place should be safe and comfortable

Bed linen must be exactly matched to the size of the bed; there should be no blankets or pillows near the baby’s face. There should be no gaps between the bed, mattress and wall. It is important to ensure sleeping area for a baby with the recommended mattress hardness in such cases, otherwise there is a risk of developing scoliosis. The child should have his own blanket; sleeping under a shared blanket is dangerous for the baby’s life. In addition, there is a risk of hypothermia if the baby's blanket falls off due to the parents' fault.

Why sleep separately from your child?

There is a compelling reason for parents to understand why it is necessary to sleep separately from the baby.

The child develops independence

A separate dream, from the first days of life, allows you to develop an independent personality in a little person. The baby develops the concept of his own territory: his room, his bed. Modern means communications, such as a baby monitor, will help the mother hear the baby’s cry and respond to it in a timely manner. As an option, the cradle can be placed in the parent’s bedroom, but the children’s and children’s bedrooms can be divided into separate zones. adult space. If a child is 4 years old, and he continues to sleep in his mother’s bed, then there is a possibility that this will lead the child to the inability in the future to make independent decisions and dependence on his mother even in small things.

If the child is already 4 years old or older, and he still sleeps with his mother, then it’s time to think about it. There may be two reasons: the child has psychological pathologies or you have difficulty personal life. In fact, this problem can be solved, but you need to know how to properly organize the weaning process so that it does not cause psychological trauma for the baby.

12 ways to stop your baby from sleeping with his mother

Of course, it would be abnormal in every sense for an over-aged child to stay in the same bed with his mother at night. When to wean and how to wean are questions that concern parents who sleep with their baby.

Until the age of two or three, experts in psychology and pediatrics do not consider co-sleeping an anomaly, but recommend starting the weaning process at the age of 2.

Mom, you need to be patient and prepare for the difficult and long process weaning. It is very important to do this painlessly so as not to traumatize the child’s psyche. If the child is to important changes in life, then weaning off co-sleeping needs to be postponed a little, because it may falter psychological condition baby. This change could be the birth of another child, moving to new apartment, hospital or kindergarten.

1. There is no need to immediately put the child to sleep separately.

Under no circumstances should you abruptly wean your child from sleeping with his mother. Start with some kind of barrier between you. It can be a border from a blanket, a soft toy or a pillow.

2. Create conditions for comfortable sleep

If you decide that your baby is ready to sleep in his own crib, create a comfortable conditions. The bed linen should be clean, the crib and mattress should be comfortable. The crib should be a place in which the child wants to sleep, where he will feel good and cozy.

3. Have a holiday move

With children over 2 years old, you can choose a crib, bedding, toys for sleeping together and arrange a festive move to their sleeping place. Let this be an event for the child; he should know that he has become more mature.

Victoria, mother of 3-year-old Ulyana: “We decided to buy our daughter new bed and move her out of ours (she grew up from a child with high sides, and never slept there). They invited Ole to choose it together and did not object when she settled on pink with flowers, although it did not match the interior of the room. In order to somehow fit the bed into the interior, we chose stickers for the closet and shelves, and even re-glued wallpaper on one wall (the renovation was done before the birth of the child, when we did not yet know the gender). My daughter was so carried away by the process that she moved to sleep in the “new” room without any problems.”

4. “Relocation” should begin with sleep during the day.

For a while nap send the baby to his crib. If the baby is on breastfeeding, then put him in his crib after he has eaten and fallen asleep. If the child is over 2 years old, then the mother should be nearby and the baby should be in his own crib.

You cannot punish a child by saying that if he does not obey, he will sleep in his own bed.

5. Prepare for an independent night's sleep

Place his favorite toy next to him and read him a bedtime story. It is important that the room is ventilated, a night light is attached to the wall and, if possible, a painting in the form of a favorite cartoon character.

6. Start gradually

If the child reacts very painfully to the “relocation”, suggest making a rearrangement first. Move his crib closer to your bed. If suddenly the baby becomes scared, he will quickly be able to climb over to you. When your child gets used to this arrangement, slowly move his crib away from yours. You need to be consistent and do everything step by step.

Nastya, mother of Ilya, 2.5 years old: “I tried to wean Ilya from sleeping with me from the age of 2. The method of gradual relocation suited us: first I sat next to him on his crib, then on a chair next to the crib, then near the door. This took about 3 months. Then the chair moved under the nursery door with reverse side. Ilyusha fell asleep, and I sat in the corridor. After six months of such “get-togethers,” my son learned to sleep with us and began to fall asleep alone in his room.”

7. Encourage your child to be independent

Use the desire for independence characteristic of a 2-3 year old child in order to “move him away” from his mother. Let the baby choose for himself what to sleep with and on. If he wants his favorite huge car, let him have it, so he will be calmer. Give your child freedom of choice: let him decide what bedding to sleep on. Also let your child choose his own night light.

By teaching your child to be independent, you will help him increase his self-esteem. The child will understand that you consider him an adult. And this will make it easier for the child to accept the “move” from the parent’s bed to his own.

8. Engage influencers

For children, the opinion of authoritative adults (grandparents, older brothers or sisters) is very important. Ask this “influencer” to casually start a conversation about co-sleeping. Be generous and grateful, praise your baby. If a child has been sleeping separately for a week, this may be a reason for a small celebration. Give him some kind of medal for courage.

Prepare for the fact that at first your child will often come running to you at night. You need to immediately go back with the child, put him to bed and sit next to him until he falls asleep.

10. Avoid active games and TV

To prevent your child from waking up at night and coming to you, you need to exclude active games and watching TV 3-4 hours before bedtime. Cartoons and programs on TV, as well as games on a tablet, overload a child’s brain with an abundance of information, which prevents him from resting peacefully at night. It is better to take a fragrant bath with foam and your loved ones and feed your baby well.

11. Create a bedtime tradition.

The process of putting a child to bed should become a good tradition, and not a fear for life.

Maintain the sequence of actions: first bathing before bed, then milk and honey, and after all this a short but very important conversation with mom and a bedtime story.

12. Reassure and don’t be lazy when your child calls

All children have a fantasy, so they think that overnight the world will become completely different, and their mother will disappear completely. This is what should motivate you to be supportive of your child and have a close emotional connection with him.

How to wean a baby from co-sleeping with his mother

If you want to train your newborn to sleep separately or one year old child, here the matter is a little more difficult, especially if the child is still breastfed.

Good Alternative option- find a compromise with the baby and allow him to fall asleep in his parents’ bed, and after he “goes to bed” transfer him to his own bed. This option is ideal for babies who do not throw tantrums in the morning after waking up in their crib.

If you breastfed your baby, when transferring him to your crib, make sure that there is no strong temperature change. To do this, you can warm up the sheet or diaper a little by ironing it or placing it on the radiator in advance.

In order for the weaning process to be as painless as possible, parents need to gain strength and patience, be wise, gentle, but at the same time persistent, and not violate their decision to sleep separately.

Video on the topic

Psi factor

• First and main question: Is it possible to have sex in bed when someone is sleeping next to you? Small child? On the one hand, he has no understanding of what is happening, even if he is awake. On the other hand, most of us feel a subconscious prohibition against such an action. Most sexologists believe that the presence of a child in bed during sexual intercourse is unacceptable, and here's why. It is human nature to build an associative connection between the sexual situation and the sexual act itself. At the same time, if loving people had sex, say, in the hayloft and received extraordinary pleasure from it; in the future, the smell of hay will be a strong stimulating factor. Experts believe that it is not worth the risk of leaving a child in bed during sexual intercourse. The way the brain works is bizarre and mysterious; there is no need to risk a shift in sexual desire.
• The second argument in favor of the word “no” is the emotional background that arises in the spouses during sexual intercourse in close proximity to the baby. Inner feeling taboo causes shame, a feeling of danger, as if you are being watched. This can also lead to distorted sexual preferences. The fact is that after the birth of a child, a woman begins to experience more violent sensations during sexual intercourse. Confusing the strength of feelings with shame can lead to a subsequent desire to make love in such “extreme” conditions.
• The third argument is banal psychological stress. It's one thing when you are constantly listening to see if the baby has woken up in the next room. And it’s completely different when you subconsciously expect this with a baby at your side. Complex negative emotions may not lead to the distortions of desire described above, but it can turn sexual intercourse into a source of stress, which is not in the best possible way affects the sexual functions of partners.
• Fourth, it is impossible to be “torn” between the roles of mother and woman close to the baby. For men, this is a little easier, but for a young mother, especially during the child’s infancy, the maternal dominant is very strong. In this situation, sexual intercourse will not bring sexual pleasure, but will turn in "marital duty". Of course, such things do not happen to everyone and not always, but in general, young parents tend to experience discomfort if the baby is nearby during sexual intercourse.

How to organize everything?

If you would like to have a full sex life, but you are not ready or do not want to teach your baby to sleep separately, you will have to get out of the marital bed yourself or temporarily shift the baby. Here are the possible options.

Carefully transfer your baby into the stroller or crib when he has fallen asleep. Usually, when sleeping together, the baby falls asleep at the mother's breast. This time feed the baby with his head on your hand. Wait until his first phase ends REM sleep and the deep phase will begin: the baby will stop twitching his arms, his face will be completely relaxed, he will release the nipple from his mouth and will stop smacking his lips in his sleep. After this, carefully transfer him to a stroller or crib in which there is a warm diaper. You can take him back as soon as he starts showing signs of distress.

Make love outside of bed. If you live in separate apartment, then it will even diversify your sex life. Feed the baby, cover him with a blanket, wait until he falls asleep deep sleep, and carefully get out of bed in the same way as usual when you want to finish household chores in the evening.

Don't overdo it with taboos

Many parents perceive the presence of a baby in bed as a ban on any caresses, including non-sexual ones. And in vain. The baby will not suffer at all from the fact that mom and dad hug and touch each other tenderly. Moreover, many psychologists believe that the presence of a child in the marital bed helps the formation of attachment. Many children love to sleep with their parents; when they are scared, they come to bed with mom and dad to “get some sleep” in the morning. This is a good option, especially for working parents who cannot pay much attention to their children. In families where a warm emotional atmosphere reigns, even older children lie in bed with mom and dad. Some spouses fear that co-sleeping with a child will irreversibly affect their sex life, cooling the ardor between spouses. In fact, this does not happen in prosperous families, and sexual activity decreases due to fatigue, psychological problems in connection with the appearance of the baby. Try to organize your life so that you can enjoy both roles: parent and spouse.

Hurry to your bed!
How to wean a child from co-sleeping?
The problem of weaning a child from co-sleeping with his parents is by no means far-fetched. Many people are faced with the fact that their children, accustomed to sleeping in parent's bed, do not want to leave there even when they reach a completely conscious age. Why is it so difficult to “force” a child to sleep separately and how to do this as painlessly as possible for him and his parents?
Anastasia Gareeva
Psychologist

Pros and cons of co-sleeping
Co-sleeping with an infant it is very convenient for him and his mother. A child who has been in a warm, soft and cramped space for nine months does not feel very comfortable in a crib. He, accustomed to the beating of his mother’s heart and her breathing, is lonely and scared to remain without the usual sounds and sensations. Constant contact with the mother gives the baby a feeling of security and calm. A mother sleeping with her child is also calmer; she manages to get enough sleep without wasting precious night hours getting up frequently. crying baby. She simply hears his grunting and immediately gives him the breast, while she can continue to sleep. The child, having had enough, falls asleep and snores sweetly, clinging to his mother. Even if a woman does not breastfeed, it is difficult to overestimate the importance of these contacts for forming a close bond with her child. In any case, you need to get up to the baby at least 3-5 times a night and spend some time on any feeding (breast or bottle). You can hug, stroke, and cuddle the waking baby in time, then he may not completely clear up and, importantly, the duration of the mother’s sleep will increase. Let's move on to the cons. Although many people classify cases of small children being strangled by their mothers as folk horror stories, this possibility cannot be ruled out. It seems clear that maternal sleep is instinctively very sensitive, but this sensitivity may be dulled if the mother has taken, for example, a sedative and sleeping pill or just very tired. Also, one should not discount the fact that there is also a third person in the parent’s bed – the child’s father. It’s good if the bed is wide, and dad is able to refuse his wife’s marital duties for some time. Otherwise, he will not only be forced to huddle somewhere on the edge or against the wall, but also not feel much better than a child, “postponed” to another bed. Many parents sleep more shallowly and restlessly when their baby is in their bed, which does not allow them to fully rest and recuperate. A child may develop a persistent need for the constant presence of adults, up to a dependent state. Shared sleep, with all of it positive aspects, interferes with the acquisition of the skill of falling asleep and sleeping alone. It may turn out that parents will be forced to “ensure presence”, contrary to their plans and capabilities, just so that the baby sleeps peacefully through the night. To avoid accidents, doctors advise adhering to the following restrictions:

• Do not take the baby to bed if the parents smoke or have taken alcohol, sedatives or sleeping pills.
• Bed linen must clearly match the size of the bed.
• The mattress should fit snugly against the headboard
• Make sure that there are no soft pillows or blankets near the child's face.
• Make sure that there is no gap between the bed and the wall into which the child could fall.
  

  What is better - to wean or not to wean?
  Of course, the issue of weaning a child from sleeping together is unlikely to arise in a family where the child sleeps separately from birth. This choice is in everyone specific case Parents must do it themselves, based on their own capabilities and weighing all the pros and cons. However, you may encounter the fact that a child slept peacefully in his own bed until he was 1.5 years old, and at this age or a little later (when the first conscious fear of the dark appears) he begins to “be capricious”, refuses to sleep separately, does everything possible, even before applying manipulations to remain in the parent's bed. If parents are too principled in this matter, then evening “showdowns” with the child can develop into real battles, and the child will develop nervous exhaustion. The same applies to children who have slept with their parents since birth. Therefore, if you decide to wean your child from co-sleeping, do it before or after this age. Here is another disappointing argument for those who are convinced that the child should sleep separately. Statistics show that children who still sleep with their parents at 5-6 years of age have most often had the experience of sleeping separately, and more than half of them came to their parents' bed after 1.5 years. That is, when parents do not sleep with a child for five months, there is no guarantee that they will not have to do this after 1.5 years. Some mothers practice sleeping separately with their child until he reaches six months of age, that is, until the child shows significant anxiety while lying in his crib. And then they start taking him into their bed because he makes it clear that he doesn't want to go back to his place. With this scenario, it is extremely difficult for a child who initially slept separately to wean him from sleeping together in the future. Finally, convinced supporters of co-sleeping with a child must be aware that a child sleeping with his parents not only in the same bed, but even in the same room, can become a witness to their sexual relations. Moreover, even if this happens at an age when parents believe that he is not developmentally capable of understanding what is happening, this can be very traumatic for him. It is believed that the optimal age for moving a child to his own bed is about 3 years old: the child has already experienced his first night fears, feeling the support of mom and dad, and at the same time he already feels like an individual, a person who has his own individuality and owns certain property. A separate bed – a personal corner – can become such property. Although even at this age problems may arise. More often this happens to those children whose parents tried to put them away before they reached the age of 3. Such children remember their discomfort and their fears, and it can be very difficult to convince them that this time everything will be fine. Actually, the most the best option It would be better not to push the child, not to try to move him into his own bed, but to wait for the moment when he wants to do it himself. Indeed, in most cases this moment comes by itself. Well, let this happen a little later than at 3 years old, because each child is individual, and some of them are more and some are less attached to their parents. And the level of anxiety in children is different. However, we do not always have the opportunity to “let the situation take its course.” Sometimes children do not show any desire to “move out”, although it seems that all conceivable and inconceivable deadlines have already passed. And sometimes new family circumstances simply arise - people change their place and living conditions, another little one appears, or the parents are simply tired, unable to relax at night and be alone with each other. And then the question, as they say, is posed bluntly.
  How to wean a child from sleeping with his mother?
  It’s good if the baby at a certain stage goes to his own bed on his own. Just because he wants it. However, the situation becomes more complicated and can take the most unexpected turns if the child is “not morally mature.” So, if you decide that the “X-hour” has come, and the child does not even think about moving to his own bed, you will have to come to terms with the fact that the process of weaning him from the parental bed can take a lot of your time and effort. Of course, this issue must be approached with all responsibility and everything must be done so that it is not too traumatic for the child. It is very difficult to convince a grown-up child, accustomed to sleeping with his parents, that his little brother or sister needs his mother more than he does. This can arouse strong jealousy on his part. Put yourself in his place: what it’s like to be rejected for some squeaking lump, to sleep in a separate bed, when your beloved mommy cuddles your competitor. The child may feel betrayed and harbor resentment towards the people closest to him. Perhaps in this case it would be better, along with weaning the older child from the parental bed, not to accustom the younger one to it either.

  From personal experience: My eldest daughter was very attached to me. Until she was 2.5 years old, she slept in the same bed with me, and it was important for her, when falling asleep, to cuddle up to me or at least hold my hand. Realizing that after the birth of my second child I would have to take him into my bed from time to time, I decided that the four of us would definitely not fit there, so the children would have to sleep separately. Weaning our daughter off co-sleeping was surprisingly easy when we bought her her own crib and placed it in our room, in which the little one also slept in a stroller. The presence of her own corner with a beautiful and cozy crib, as well as the argument “look, Egorka is so small, but sleeps separately from his mother” did the trick - the daughter began to sleep “like an adult” with pleasure.

  From personal experience: The most difficult thing about moving our 3-year-old son into a separate room was that he categorically did not want to fall asleep alone. He quickly fell asleep in his crib, but at the same time he demanded that someone hold his hand. Then we offered him a companion - our dog. She was already old, and the breed was “small” - a lapdog. So, we were sure that it would not harm a baby sleeping in a crib with a lattice. The child accepted this idea with a bang! The only one who was against it was the dog: she didn’t like being locked in the room. But we compensated her for the temporary inconvenience with some kind of treat. Within a week, our son was falling asleep alone.
  In any case, even if no more offspring are expected in your family, it is quite easy to motivate your child to sleep separately by buying him a bed to suit his taste. Now there is a huge selection in children's furniture stores. A bed in the shape of a car, for example, will become a boy’s favorite place not only for sleeping, but also for playing, and a crib with a canopy and feather bed, similar to a princess’s bed, will charm any girl. There are even beds from which you can slide down a slide attached to the side - what a gift for your playful little one? You can also make your life easier by simply placing the baby crib next to your own, first removing one of its walls and adjusting the height. When you hear your baby crying, you can easily take him out and feed him or calm him down, and then return him to his place. As your baby grows, you simply move his crib to a distance that is comfortable for him and you. It is much more difficult to teach a child to sleep in a separate room. Usually, at an age when parents try to wean a child from co-sleeping, he develops childhood fears, one of which is the fear of the dark. Perhaps the mother should sleep with the child in his room for a while until he gets used to it and makes sure that nothing bad will happen to him. It is very important for any child to follow a certain ritual before bed. A ritual is a few simple actions in a clearly defined sequence. Children are afraid to fall asleep; many have a subconscious fear that the world will change while they sleep, and mom and dad may disappear when they wake up. They want to sleep with their mother because they are sure that she is nearby and will not go anywhere. Very often you can notice that when a child wakes up, the first thing he wants to do is make sure that his parents are there. And following the ritual gives confidence and sets the child up for sleep. Some parents practice the following: if an older child does not want to go to his crib, they “go to bed” in the parent’s bed - read fairy tales, perform other bedtime rituals accepted in the family, and then transfer the fallen asleep child to his bed. Well, there's nothing wrong with that. If a child, when waking up in the morning, does not react too violently to the absence of his mother, then this is not stress for him. And, getting ready for bed, mother and child experience moments of closeness that are so necessary for both of them. There is another option: the mother puts the child to sleep in his crib, and after completing all the rituals, she simply sits next to him for a while. Children are very sensitive to their mother's smell. Feeling it, they feel safe. Therefore, if a child is anxious about the need to sleep in his own crib, put some of the things with your scent there. You can try to use the so-called “replacement method” - when putting the child to sleep in his own crib, the mother leaves for a while (at first just for a few minutes), motivating her departure with some urgent matter, and leaves the child’s favorite toy in her place, “entrusting "She should take care of the baby. When returning, mom should “thank” the toy for her care. Gradually, the child gets used to sleeping with a toy, which he identifies with something reliable that protects his sleep. A night light can be very useful. You can try using a night light that projects moving pictures onto the ceiling or walls. And of course, to prepare for bed, it is necessary that evening games be calm. Also for peace of mind nervous system Short walks before bed are beneficial. In the end, no matter what the situation, you always need to listen to the child and to own feelings. By doing this, you will always choose the optimal tactic - the one that suits you and your child. And then the process of weaning the baby from co-sleeping will be as painless as possible for everyone.

Conditions when a child sleeps in bed with his parents (or mother) almost from birth are now not uncommon, especially if the baby is still breastfed.

But one way or another, the time comes when parents wonder if it’s time for their child to sleep alone with them. Most often this happens when the child begins to eat once at night or does not eat at all.

How to “move” a child into a crib? You can use the same principle, but in relation to falling asleep independently. However, many parents will not be able to dare to do this, since the method is quite harsh.

This article proposes another method: without the baby’s tears and the mother’s nerves.

Step 1. If your child cuddles up to you at night and sleeps in your arms, then first you need to teach him to sleep separately from you, but still in your bed. When the child touches you, you roll away a little, but hug him so that he feels that you are close. When your baby adjusts to sleeping like this, stop hugging him, but hold him by the hand. So, over time, he will learn to sleep without you being nearby.

Step 2. Prepare a crib for the baby. Make the bed with linen that he likes, put a comfortable pillow and a cozy blanket. Tell your child that he is already very big and will soon sleep in this crib. Do not put your child in a crib during the day, so that he does not have the association that this is a place for play. The crib should only be for sleeping. Make sure that the front wall of the crib can be removed.

Step 3. Buy your child a soft toy to sleep on. This will be a toy that will always stay with him in his crib and that he will not play with during the day. Introduce the child to the toy, tell him that from now on “our” bunny/bear/sheep will protect his sleep. The toy should not be musical or have rustling or ringing elements. The toy should be small so that the child can easily hug or cuddle it.

Step 4. When everything is ready for the baby to sleep, when you are morally determined for success, it’s time to start getting to know the baby more closely with the crib. When it’s time to go to bed, remove the front wall of the crib and place the “cradle” next to your own bed. Sit in the crib yourself, take your child with you and read him a book or tell him a fairy tale. Show the prepared toy, but do not allow the child to take it outside the crib. Explain that this toy lives here and cannot leave the house. The child must understand that the crib does not pose any danger to him. But the first night, let your baby sleep in his own bed.

The next day, also sit with your child in the crib, play, read. Send your child to sleep on the edge of his crib, and lie down closer yourself, but on your own bed. If your child crawls onto your bed at night, let him sleep with you.

Step 5. If you suspect that something is scaring your child at night, resolve this issue in the most drastic way, especially before moving the child’s crib to his separate room. Shadows from clothes hanging on the closet door, the very gaping black inside of the wardrobe, unclear night glare in unwashed windows, darkness in a pile of toys on the floor, etc. Remove all unnecessary items in the room at night, if you are too lazy to wash the windows yourself, order finally, window cleaning in Moscow, but do not instill serious fears in your child, do not force his delicate psyche to cope with the problem on his own. This will come back to haunt not only the children now and much later, but also you in the very near future.

So every day the child will sleep in his crib longer and longer. When he gets used to it and starts sleeping there all night, you can move the crib to its place and return the front wall. Now the child will sleep in it.

Be prepared for the fact that your child will sometimes ask you to come to you at night. Most likely this will happen when something starts to bother him, for example, his teeth. In such cases, take the child with you. If you understand that this is a momentary whim, then hold the child in your arms for a while and put him back in the crib, stroke him on the back, kiss him on the cheek, cover him with a blanket, put a toy by his side, and he will continue to sleep in his crib.

If at some stage the child begins to be very capricious and refuses to sleep in the crib, then do not force him. Wait a while. But don’t forget to show him the toy that lives in the crib. Tell your child that children sleep in their cribs, read fairy tales about cribs, and show pictures. If your child already watches cartoons and has a favorite character, then look for bedding with this character. Tell him that now this hero will sleep with him.

In this method of training to sleep in your crib, the main thing is not to force the child by force or through tears, and also to be confident in your abilities. If you have to take a step back, do not get angry with the child, do not scold him, but just wait a little and take a step forward again.

This method is much longer than leaving the child in the crib with tears and hysterics alone with himself. But our method saves peace of mind for you and your child. He will not think that his mother abandoned him in a difficult moment for him, and you will not be nervous and torment yourself, listening to the cry of a child from the next room.