How to develop self-confidence and increase self-esteem. Training from Donald Trump: “How to develop self-confidence

The basis of a person’s self-image is confidence and self-respect. This is a kind of foundation on which everything else rests. If the foundation is fragile, the personality is susceptible to self-destruction, and its full development suffers. That is why self-development should begin with firm confidence in one’s own strengths and abilities.

Doubts appear while growing up little man. Constantly faced with new tasks, he simply needs to complete them. Having not coped well enough, he can accumulate negative experience, strengthening the belief in his inadequacy.

Defeat such misconceptions It is possible with some effort. This requires self-analysis and practical exercises.

How to Build Confidence Through Self-Awareness

Sometimes your own ideas about yourself are like a distorting mirror. Increased demands and the habit of comparing one's own achievements with others lead to low self-esteem. It's a paradox, but it's true. Figure out why you are unhappy with yourself. Write down each complaint as a separate item. Try to make the list as complete as possible.

When the work is completed, you will receive a list of your own complexes. To cope with them, imagine how you would treat a person you respect if he had such qualities. You will be surprised to discover: the majority " terrible shortcomings" will turn out to be simple nitpicking towards ourselves. Now let's work on each point to fully establish our thoughts: " I am a strong, confident, strong-willed person".

To do this, learn to form thoughts correctly, avoiding accusatory forms:

Instead of “I didn’t succeed,” say: I’m still working on it. The trick is that you will not lose as long as you continue to achieve results. Thinking about how to overcome the difficulties and obstacles that have arisen, everyone finds ways to achieve the chosen goal.
“I’m not doing well, worse than others” replace with “today I did much better than yesterday”, I’m great!

Now let's get back to our list. Every disadvantage can be turned into an advantage. Important . Example:

Flaws in appearance can be made your highlight, if they are flaws at all. This complex can easily be eliminated by working on own body at the gym or even at home. A beautiful posture that speaks of the dignity of its owner, a clean, sincere smile, and a harmoniously chosen outfit will make anyone attractive.
Fears that someone will consider you unworthy of something are easily eliminated through active communication. Make new acquaintances, communicate as equals, learn from others what attracts you. Try yourself in new directions, explore your own abilities. You will definitely discover a huge rich world for yourself.
The habit of action helps to establish the idea that everything can be done. An action aimed at obtaining a result invariably leads to it. Only persistent striving forward despite doubts and fears helps to defeat them forever.

Of course, it will be very difficult at first. Thoughts are accustomed to running along a familiar channel. Learn to block negativity. Throw away all doubtful thoughts. Control your mental flow. We are what we think about ourselves. Think only in in a good way! Focus on your strengths, hone your skills, and praise yourself for every achievement.

Steps towards self-confidence

Now let's look at what practical steps help develop self-confidence:

Free yourself from dependence on outside opinions. Stop asking what others think about your decisions. Stop worrying about it. Learn to evaluate yourself impartially. Consider the circumstances, time resources, and degree of preparation. Can someone else repeat my result under the same conditions?
Set reasonable goals. Setting the bar too high is often the cause of self-disappointment. Gradual development of abilities, improvement of performance results - The best way develop self-confidence.
Put aside your doubts. Bad decision better than good inaction. Learn.
The Right Attitude to mistakes. A mistake is just an experience that helps you find the necessary solution. Throw away regrets, worries, self-flagellation about this. Only those who do nothing make mistakes. Extract maximum benefit: Determine what caused the failure, correct the situation and continue to act.
Be in society more often. Large companies social events, daily communication With big amount people will be helped to get rid of the fear of finding contacts.
Learn new things. Receiving additional knowledge, improving qualifications, life experience, a person becomes wiser, more successful.
Get rid of unnecessary worries stressful situation will help interesting method. Make what is causing you stress a normal situation. If you are afraid of publicity, look for it, learn to cope with anxiety. Fear the opposite sex - strive to constantly communicate with its representatives. Whatever causes you the most fear, conquer it with practice.
Praise yourself. Rejoice in victories. Share them with your friends. Receive a positive charge of energy whenever you have something to praise yourself for.

When all else fails, use the practice of meditation. Repeat: “I am strength! I can do anything!” Our thinking is created in an amazing way: it becomes a projection of the future. Imagine yourself strong, able to do everything.

Show confidence

Unconfident people often give themselves away with a quiet, trembling voice, downcast eyes, and nervous gestures. Take control of your body:

The gaze should be soft, calm, direct. Look your interlocutor in the eyes, don’t look away, don’t hide them bashfully. But don't drill right through.
An upright posture will tell others that its owner is confident in himself.
Stop fiddling with the corners of your clothes, chewing pencils, nervously hiding your hands behind your back, covering your smile with your hands, dangling your leg crossed over the other.
All movements should be measured and calm.
Speak loudly, clearly, intelligibly.

Body language can tell others a lot. Seeing external signs confidence, people will treat you.

Act as if

If you want to be happy, live as if you are already happy. If you want to become balanced, act as if you already possess this quality. Maintain an image of yourself that you are happy with. Create yourself the way you want to see. Persistently, step by step, day by day, changing yourself and your self-image.

Be prepared to hear praise from others who will notice positive changes. Because they are deserved!

Everyday small achievements will become bricks that will build a bridge on the path to unshakable confidence: I can do anything, I am worthy of respect, attention, love.

It’s not even worth talking about how much self-confidence every person needs. This feature opens up opportunities for us to further development, makes it easier to communicate with other people. It is possible and necessary to develop self-confidence. Let's look at the main ways how this can be done.

Developing confidence in general is difficult, but you need to differentiate between the main aspects of confidence and work on them as a whole. So, confidence has the following main components:

appearance;
self-esteem;
behavior and speech;
thoughts, desires and emotions;
goals.

Working with appearance

Our appearance is what forms the first impression of us. Scientists have long determined that it takes only three seconds to establish contact. This time is enough to get a general idea of the person. Then it will be very difficult to change your opinion about yourself. This is why you should take care of your appearance.

If we put a lot of effort and effort into our appearance, we work on the body - we improve. Our appearance is transformed into better side, thereby increasing our self-esteem and self-confidence. When we like what we see in the mirror, we gain confidence. When approaching your ideal, the main thing is not to become overconfident.

Exist certain techniques work with your attitude towards your appearance, unless external transformation is not enough for you. Writing an affirmation can help a lot. This short phrase which you need to repeat to yourself required amount once during the day. The meaning of the phrase should be something like this: “I have a beautiful face and a slim body. Many men like me” or “I am sure that my appearance is attractive and special.” Believe me, it really helps to accept yourself.

The connection between self-esteem and self-confidence

Low self-esteem prevents the development of self-confidence. In turn, inflated self-esteem will contribute to the formation of self-confidence, which is also undesirable. There are two characteristics of self-esteem that are necessary for the formation of confidence: adequacy and stability.

Adequacy of self-esteem is the correspondence of self-image to the real state of affairs. Stability is the constancy of self-image, regardless of external influences. To create stability, we need self-confidence, but it is impossible without normal self-esteem. It turns out to be a vicious circle that needs to be broken as soon as possible.

Affirmations also work effectively in working with self-esteem. In addition, you can try the following technique: take a sheet of paper, write all your advantages in the column on the left, and all your disadvantages on the right. Most likely, the right column turned out to be twice as long as the left one. Notice if you have the same qualities in both columns. For example, on the left side there is frugality, and on the right - stinginess. In this case, it is worth determining what is more significant for you and leaving this trait in only one column. Now let's try to look at the right column differently. It is necessary to find a resource in every shortcoming. For example, “I am short” should be replaced with “I will look beautiful next to a man of any height” or “I can’t hold back my tears” with “I can easily show emotions.” Do this with all the traits, be sure to rephrase each flaw and find a resource in it, without exception.

Confidence in behavior and speech

Behavior is primarily how our body looks when we do something. To look confident, you need to move confidently, maintain your posture, and speak loudly and clearly.

Surely you have paid attention to the ones whose every movement exudes confidence. It is impossible not to pay attention to them. Let's think about what they said about confidence? Most likely, a relaxed pose, but at the same time beautiful posture, average tempo movements and the ability to maintain interest in oneself.

Behavior is also certain principles. For example, a self-confident person will never enter into a primitive conflict, will not prove anything to someone who does not need it, and will not show disrespect to others.

If a confident person has something to say, he speaks. And he does it loudly, clearly and distinctly. You need to work on your speech. Confidence in public speaking comes only with experience. You need to put yourself more often in conditions where you need to speak in front of an audience and over time you will have no choice but to learn how to speak. But many have a problem even in interpersonal communication. It’s worth starting, of course, with expansion vocabulary, if there are problems with this.

There are two great ways to learn to be more relaxed in your speech. First, start by maintaining a conversation with people who are obliged to reciprocate your feelings: taxi drivers, waiters, and so on. For them, conversations with clients are not difficult, but for you it is a valuable experience to maintain a conversation with stranger.

Secondly, learn to pronounce monologues. Choose once a day random item, for example: chair, plate, apple, TV. Talk about this subject to yourself for 10 minutes without stopping. It doesn’t matter that at first it will be a crazy set of words. Over time, your speaking skills will improve and you will be able to talk about ordinary marshmallows so that everyone will go buy it.

Thoughts, emotions, desires and goals

An integral part of personality is its intellectual sphere. To be confident, you simply need a certain level of erudition. Without this, it is impossible to carry on a conversation, and awkwardness in a conversation already gives rise to uncertainty. Thoughts reflect our essence. Based on what we say, we are assessed as an intelligent or narrow-minded person.

Self-confidence is important competitive advantage in the struggle for a place in the Sun. Thanks to this quality, people get what they want. They work in prestigious jobs, hang out in cool companies, and are liked by others. But not everyone has high self-esteem. How to develop self-confidence and become popular? Are there simple and effective ways helping to do this? Is it possible to increase self-confidence? What is needed for this? Where to start and how long will it take? We can confidently say one thing - you should start by reading this article.

How to increase self-confidence?

Developing self-confidence is a subtle and scrupulous science. Don't think that this can be done in a matter of days. Or with a snap of a finger, as if on command magic wand. To increase your self-confidence you will have to work hard. For some it may take a week or two. Another will need to spend more than a month. And the third one will not be completed in six months. It all depends on the character of the person, his environment, and the level of self-distrust. One thing we can say for sure is that it’s worth starting now, because it won’t get any faster anyway.

Good thing, there are techniques how to develop self-confidence. We suggest you familiarize yourself with the most effective and simple ones below. Effective techniques to develop self-confidence include:

Think positively;
Use self-confidence affirmations;
Engage in self-development and improvement;
Stop being jealous;
Don't listen to others, but be yourself;
Get physically fit;
Communicate more with people.

There are dozens more techniques, but you shouldn’t be too scattered. If you apply our recommendations, you will be able to increase your self-confidence as quickly as possible.

Positive thinking

Developing self-confidence is not possible without optimism. This doesn’t mean you have to wear rose-colored glasses everywhere, but it’s worth putting them on from time to time. According to the law of attraction, a person attracts what he thinks or says. If a guy approaches a girl sitting on a bench with the firm belief that he will be sent, then most likely he will be sent. If the young man is convinced of his irresistibility, then... he will also be sent, but not so far. Or maybe they won’t send it, who knows...

Confidence Affirmations

There is nothing better in the morning than to praise yourself in front of the mirror, to tell yourself how successful and confident you are. Even if you don’t believe it yourself, don’t stop repeating it day after day. The psyche is susceptible, in addition to criticism, to praise. An internal lack of perception may immediately be felt. But very little time will pass and such denial will no longer exist. And then, lo and behold, praising yourself will become the norm. This simple technique will help you develop self-confidence much faster. By itself, it is not so effective, but together with others, it can transform life.

Self-development and improvement

To be confident in yourself, you must not only want it, but also objectively accept it. For example, if a person wants to become a professional bartender, he must devote himself entirely to this profession, study, learn something new, and regularly improve his skills. Developing self-confidence is closely related to understanding your capabilities. How else? Do you want to be the best? This will not happen without work. You can affirm as much as you like with your reflection, but without real prerequisites, success will not come. How more people invests effort for his success, so more likely achieve it.

Lack of envy

Another important one psychological aspect how to increase self-confidence - stop envying others. It should be remembered that all people are unique. If one person has something, it is absolutely not necessary for everyone else to have it. For example, someone bought a yacht and now organizes parties with fashion models. Should I envy him? Most likely they are there because of the yacht, not because of that person. Some people don’t have such a yacht, or even a bicycle. But he has loving girl...But you can earn money for a yacht.

Choosing your path

Very often people underestimate themselves, trying to become something other than who they are. Let's say someone knows how to draw beautifully. From childhood, his parents proved to him that this was not a serious hobby, he should become a lawyer or a doctor. He entered medical University, decided to devote himself to a prestigious profession. But how can such a person develop self-confidence if he has chosen the wrong path and will not become the best? But if I tried my hand at fine arts, then perhaps long ago he would have had his own personal exhibitions in the leading galleries of the world.

Attention to physical fitness

Smooth posture and a toned physique are true allies on the path to developing self-confidence. Some of the signs of insecurity are slouching and looking down at your feet. Once you straighten your shoulders and look around, the whole world will appear from a completely different perspective. If you add sports to this, then others around you will start to feel self-doubt. A tempting prospect? Then it's definitely worth a try.

Communication with people

A reliable technique for developing self-confidence is not to isolate yourself from society. Getting to know other people, getting to know them more, it becomes obvious that everyone has their own fears or complexes. You should not give your rank as special. Nothing increases self-confidence more than the feeling of uncertainty among potential opponents.

Having found your company, a person surrounds himself with like-minded people who begin to support him. By establishing social connections, you will be able to meet your life partner much faster. And love works wonders, turning yesterday’s quiet person into a “prince on a white horse.”

Increasing self-confidence is not an easy task, but the “bonuses” from its implementation are impressive. Among them: success, relevance, opportunity to achieve goals. Today the conversation touched on the topic of how to develop self-confidence. If the impulse from it does not remain only in today, and, like a snowball, will begin to increase - there is every chance of becoming more confident in the near future. It is important to start moving and not stop on this path.

Who are confident people? How do they manage to succeed in life and never lose their composure? The secret is simple. This ordinary people, they just have high self-esteem and look soberly at the world around them. To understand whether you can count yourself among such people, it is worth knowing what qualities a confident person has:

he believes in himself and in his actions;
he is always responsible for everything he does;
he shows flexibility to the world around him and the people he meets;
he is persistent, but not aggressive and will not play on the feelings of other people;
its main principle is honesty and directness when expressing one’s opinion;
he does not give up when he fails and calmly accepts all the challenges of life;
he believes that he always has the opportunity to influence the situation.

If you have not discovered at least some of these principles in yourself, you should start developing self-confidence.

Where to start developing self-confidence?

Many people who changed their lives once started small. First of all, they changed their image. By visiting a good stylist, you will not only change your appearance, but also change your attitude towards life. Further, the development of confidence and self-sufficiency can be continued using the technique of the power of your mind. There are five main steps to do this:

remember and analyze your main positive traits, life achievements and talents;
Convince yourself that you have a certain set of qualities that you would like to develop and work on developing them all the time;
imagine that you are already enough successful man who has achieved some goals and enjoys the recognition of others;
imagine that you are rich, your business is prospering, and you have everything you want;
feel confident in yourself and your abilities. Feel like you are in control, no matter where you are.

Also an important factor in a person’s life is the development of social confidence. It manifests itself in the absence of fear of expressing oneself among others. Many insecure people prefer to sit on the sidelines of any business that requires risk, and miss good life opportunities to achieve success and prosperity. To develop social confidence, practice interacting with the world around you every day and don’t be afraid to express yourself. Try talking to a stranger on the street, for example, by asking what time it is. Consciously engage in dialogue with strangers, and in situations where there are a lot of people present, don’t be afraid to publicly express your opinion. Remember that people care most about what people think about themselves, and secondly they will pay attention to you.

If you have a child, do not miss the opportunity to raise him to be a confident person. Most parents do not know how to develop confidence in their child and make many mistakes, trying to protect their child from problems. real life. However, developing confidence in a child is not a difficult process. The main thing is to stick to a few pedagogical principles when raising:

Appreciate your child for who he is. Many parents make the mistake of attributing non-existent and desirable qualities to their child. Even if you are not interested in your child’s success in any area, do not show it and appreciate what the child was able to achieve on his own.
Don't compare your child to other children. It is much more important to teach him to compare himself with himself yesterday and foresee what he will be like in the future. An example of this principle could be the phrase: “Yesterday you couldn’t do it, but today you could. You’re great, I’m proud of you.” This method of education will create good soil for the child to develop confidence in his own strengths and capabilities.
Never speak negatively about your child in front of anyone. Don't call him stupid, lazy and incapable. In the end, you as a parent should always believe in your own child.
At least sometimes allow your child to argue with you and defend his point of view.

These pedagogical approaches work for the future. You will probably see their influence on the development of confidence in a child only in his adulthood.

If you are satisfied with your child’s development, but you still have many questions about yourself, try using the following psychotechniques for developing confidence:

Becoming confident is not difficult. It is important to have patience and a great desire to increase self-esteem. And then you yourself will lead your life, and not those life circumstances, which take shape around you.